━ NEUROSIS ━
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN.

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VIOLET LET OUT A BREATH, wiping away the sweat that coated her forehead. She looked down at the small pile of chopped wood below her with a proud smile, content with the work she had done.

It had only been a day since the others had left. And ever since, the remaining of the group had all taken it upon themselves to stay occupied with any unfinished tasks that needed to be done.

They all told themselves it was to make sure they didn't fall behind on keeping themselves afloat, while they were a significant amount of people down. And that was true, partly.

But mainly, it was because their tasking served as a distraction. A distraction that stopped their worry fused thoughts about the others filling their minds constantly.

Violet held the opinion that she had drawn the better straw. For she found that chopping wood served as a great distraction. And honestly, she was surprised she hadn't taken up the mantle of doing the chore sooner.

There was something about it. Every swing, every cut, every chop. It was enough to relieve Violet of any pent up stress, enough to feed her constant lingering anger long enough to keep it at bay.

It was a simple ritual, yet it felt so fulfilling. With every deadly swing, the log's fate was completely at her will. And Violet took a sense of delight in it all. In the complete control she had.

Lottie watched Violet from her perch on the cabin porch, her prior task of washing clothes being long forgotten about. Honestly, she was pretty sure she'd forgotten how to wash clothes altogether.

Her head tilted to the side as her eyes took in the sight a few feet away from her, allowing her gaze to—not so subtly— bounce back and forth between the girl's arms and face.

Lottie was watching her shamelessly, yet she couldn't find it in her to care. Not anymore. Not when she no longer had to hide the way she truly felt about the Crawford girl. How she truly saw her.

However, the moment Lottie's sights trailed down to the axe in Violet's grasp, the butterflies in her stomach were soon morphed into a pit of unease.

It only served as a reminder of her dream. Of what her brain had forced her to witness. Images of the blood soaked axe flashed before her eyes and her brows scrunched with a mix of worry and confusion.

She didn't understand it. Any of it. The others had already left and Violet had kept her word of staying. Violet was safe and sound, Lottie had everything she wanted.

Yet she just couldn't shake the feeling that there was something more. Something she was missing.

"Lottie? Are you okay?"

Lottie blinked, the sound of the voice tearing her attention away from Violet and her twisted thoughts. She looked to her right, watching as Laura Lee sat down.

"Sorry, I didn't hear you." Lottie apologized. "I was just... thinking."

Laura Lee frowned, taking note of the slight worry behind Lottie's eyes. "What about?"

Lottie paused briefly as she thought of a response. She didn't want to say too much. Not when she had no grasp on the true answer herself.

"Do you remember what you told me about visions and dreams?" Lottie asked. "That the bible says they could either be..."

Laura Lee nodded as she finished Lottie's sentence. "A warning or a revelation."

"Were they ever wrong?" Lottie questioned. "Like, what if circumstances changed, but they were still being shown the same thing? Surely it doesn't mean anything, right?"

"It depends." Laura Lee sighed in thought. "Maybe whatever it is, doesn't happen right now."

"But," Lottie started. "What if I don't want it to happen at all?"

Laura Lee smiled sadly. She had no clue what Lottie was referring to, what it was that she had seen. But it was clear to her that it was causing her a great amount of worry.

"Some things... they're inevitable, Lot." Laura Lee said gently. "Whatever you've been shown... it was for a reason. You might not be able to change it, but, at least you can prepare for when it comes."

Lottie didn't utter another word, only offering a small huff in response. She didn't like Laura Lee's advice on the matter, for it had no ease on her concern whatsoever.

"This conversation looks riveting."

The Matthews girl didn't need to look to see who had joined them, she'd recognize that sarcastic tone anywhere. Violet.

Yet still, she turned her head, giving Violet her full attention as if on auto-pilot. Despite Lottie sending a warm smile her way, Violet still picked up on the lingering distaste towards Laura Lee's finals words.

Violet had no clue what Laura Lee had said, of course, but she didn't need to. Whatever it was Lottie didn't like it. So, naturally, Violet didn't like it either.

"What are you talking about?" Violet asked, glancing between the two.

"Just about my dream." Lottie answered honestly. She didn't want to hide anything from Violet. There was no need to.

Violet turned her gaze to Laura Lee, her eyes narrowing ever so slightly. With the lack of insight she had to their exact words in the conversation, Violet automatically assumed the worst.

That Laura Lee had judged Lottie. That she had upset her.

"What did you say to her?" Violet's tone was calm, yet the look on her face as she waited for an answer was far from it.

"What?" Laura Lee blinked at the sudden accusation. "Nothing. I was just trying to give her advice."

Violet raised a brow. "What advice?"

It wasn't long before Lottie picked up on the conclusion that Violet had drawn. She'd be lying if she said it didn't fill her with a sense of awe, that Violet was so quick to come to her defence without question.

But she couldn't let it continue, not when Violet had read the situation wrong.

So, Lottie was quick to jump in. She reached out for Violet's wrist, gently pulling her over and coaxing her to sit beside her.

"Just sit down, you big grump." Lottie teased, attempting to lighten the mood. "It wasn't anything bad, okay?"

Violet found herself following Lottie's guiding tug, sitting down next to her. "But your eyebrows are doing their I'm stressed crease."

"I'm stressed crease?" Lottie chuckled.

"Yeah." Violet nodded, as if what she had said was common knowledge. "Exactly."

Lottie raised a brow. "You're gonna have to explain."

"When something or someone has stressed you out, your eyebrows do this thing. And there's always a small crease between them. Right there..." Violet reached up, placing her finger between Lottie's eyebrows. "It kinda looks like a mini lightning bolt actually."

Lottie let out a flustered chuckle as she moved her head away. "Shut up."

"No." Violet shrugged. "It's cute. I like it."

Within a second, Lottie couldn't help the smile that tugged at her lips. Violet had made Lottie's stomach flip many times in the past with things she had said. But sentences like that, noticing the small things. God, Lottie could feel her heart practically melting every single time.

Under Violet's gaze Lottie felt seen, truly and completely seen. She was an open book when it came to Violet Crawford. Every word, every sentence, every page, it was right there for her to read and take in. And she wouldn't want it any other way.

"Well, it's gone now." Lottie wiggled her brows. "Thanks to you."

"Me?" Violet chuckled. "I didn't do anything."

"Wrong." Lottie corrected. "You came over here."

"So... you're telling me..." Violet gasped, placing a hand on her chest dramatically. "I cured the stress-bolt... with my presence?"

Lottie nodded along, patting Violet's shoulder. "With your presence."

"Damn." Violet let out a content breath. "I'm good."

Lottie chuckled at her response. "A miracle worker one might say."

"Couldn't have said it better myself." Violet agreed. "I mean, hey, who knows. If my presence has that much power, I wonder what else I could do. Maybe I could cure sicknesses with a wave of my hand."

"Hmm, I think you'll need more than a miracle for that type of power." Lottie pursed her lips, amused. "But gold star for the enthusiasm."

"Uh, excuse me." Violet raised a brow teasingly. "You're supposed to boost my ego, Matthews. Not deflate it."

"Oh crap, sorry." Lottie laughed at her response, taking a deep breath to regain a faux seriousness. "I fully support you becoming an all powerful sickness healer."

Violet cheered in celebration, making Lottie's laugh grow. "That's more like it. Thank you."

"You're welcome." Lottie smiled.

"Hey, assholes!"

The pair, along with Laura Lee, who had spent the last few minutes trying to get the attention of a bird, all looked towards the campfire at the sound of the voice calling out. They watched as Natalie stood up from her spot on one of the logs, tugging Travis up with her.

"Natalie Scatorccio, what have I told you about your language?" Violet scolded jokingly.

Natalie playfully rolled her eyes at Violet's words. "Shut up, Vi. I'm trying to share an idea here."

"Wow." Violet turned to Lottie with a raised brow, muttering her next words with a grin. "Well, that was fucking rude."

Lottie nudged Violet's shoulder, a smirk coating her lips. "What was that about language again?"

"It's okay if I do it." Violet shrugged. "I'm an almighty healer, duh."

"Riiiight." Lottie nodded along. "I get it now. Thanks for enlightening me."

"Anytime." Violet winked. "My office hours are 9-5, if you need any more information about my ways."

Lottie let out a snort. "I might just take you up on that offer."

"Or..." Violet continued lowly. "You could always come by after hours. Y'know, so we could talk more privately."

"Oh, really?" Lottie raised a brow at her words, practically feeling her cheeks flush within a second. "That depends. Do you usually make a habit of seeing people after hours?"

"No." Violet shrugged. "But I'd happily make an exception for you."

Lottie hummed, biting the inside of her cheek. "Now how could I refuse an offer like that?"

"Guys!" Natalie called out to the pair. "Helloooo?"

Violet and Lottie both focused their attentions back towards Natalie, her voice pulling them from their bubble once more.

Travis looked between Lottie and Violet skeptically, his lips wearing a teasing grin. "What were you guys talking about?"

Lottie rolled her eyes at the boy. "Shut up Travis."

"We were talking about that one time you tripped in the cafeteria." Violet started. "And you spilled chocolate milk all over your pants..."

Travis' eyes widened the moment he realised the story Violet was half way through telling. "Alright we get it, let's not―"

"And I mean, all over, your pants." Violet's eyes gleamed with amusement at the embarrassment etched across Travis' face. "It looked like you'd had an accident, didn't it?"

"I― It obviously wasn't that. You saw what happened!" Travis defended. "It was the milk!"

Violet pursed her lips. "Was it Travis? Was it?"

"Jesus..." Natalie huffed, ignoring the jabs being thrown towards Travis. "Did you guys even hear what my idea was?"

Lottie and Violet briefly shared a look before answering.

"Absolutely."

"One hundred percent."

"Oh really?" Natalie hummed. "Then what did I say?"

"Uh," Lottie paused momentarily. "That's a great question actually..."

"Yeah, I agree." Violet nodded at Lottie's reply. "Perhaps we should open it up to the group. Laura Lee, Travis, what did Natalie say?"

Travis scoffed. "Yeah, cause I'm gonna help you."

"Whoa! What's with the hostility?" Violet raised her hands in surrender. "You're the one who shit your pants Trav, not me."

"I didn't shit my pants!"

"It's okay Travis, we've all done it..." Lottie added. "When we were babies."

Violet let out a snort at Lottie's remark. "This conversation is delightful."

"For the love of god!" Natalie gripped the bridge of her nose. "I said we should all go to the lake!"

"What about all the jobs we have to do?" Laura Lee expressed her concern. "We can't just leave everything to pile up. Not with the others gone."

"We'd only be gone for a few hours Laura Lee." Natalie sighed. "And I think we all need a distraction."

Laura Lee tore her eyes away from Natalie as she contemplated her decision. "I don't know..."

"Oh c'mon." Natalie drawled. "It's better than moping around all day."

"Is Travis going?" Violet asked with a smirk. "If so, can I drown him?"

Travis' face scrunched. "What the fu―"

"Yeah, he's going." Natalie chuckled. "Drown away."

"Nat!" Travis exclaimed.

"Perfect!" Violet smiled contently, turning to Lottie. "Lottie Matthews... would you make me the happiest girl in the wilderness and... join me on my quest to drown Travis?"

Lottie let out a laugh, nodding along enthusiastically. "Violet Crawford... it would be my honour."

"Wooo!" Violet cheered. "You better hope for your sake you're a fast swimmer Travis."

"This is so unfair." Travis complained. "It's two versus one."

"Don't be scared, Travis." Violet pouted. "Wouldn't want any floaters in the lake water."

"For the last time, I didn't shit my―"

"Alright children," Natalie clapped her hands together. "I'm leaving in five, if you wanna come, then come. If you don't, then stay and mope."

"Jesus, five minutes?" Violet got to her feet, running a hand through her hair. "I've gotta grab my stuff, Nat."

Natalie shot her a look. "Violet, you only need a towel. It'll take, like, a minute."

"Could you grab my towel as well, please?" Lottie asked, squeezing Violet's hand softly to grab her attention.

"Sure." Violet smiled. She turned to Natalie with a raised brow. "That's two minutes now."

Natalie chuckled. "And you'll still have three to spare. Or maybe less if you keep complaining."

"Alright, alright. I'm going!"

Violet speed walked into the cabin, managing to pull a few quiet laughs from the others at her rushed pace.

Upon entering the cabin and hurriedly grabbing her and Lottie's towels, Violet took note of a hushed conversation happening a few feet away. However, the moment they had noticed Violet's presence, the talking was soon brought to a halt.

Violet looked up, her gaze travelling over to Jackie and Shauna stood in the pantry, both of the girls already looking her way.

"Hey." Violet greeted. "We're going down to the lake, if you guys wanna join?"

Jackie and Shauna exchanged a brief look. Violet's brows stitched together at the sight, confusion filling her mind at the look behind their eyes. They each seemed nervous. But there was something about their nerves which differed, as if it were for completely different reasons.

It wasn't long before Jackie broke the silence. "Maybe later? I think we're gonna hang back here for a bit."

"Oh, okay." Violet pursed her lips, beginning to walk towards them. "Is everything okay?"

"It's uh..." Jackie stuttered, clearly having trouble coming up with a lie. "It's nothing... we just―"

"It's okay, Jackie." Shauna smiled reassuringly. "I'll tell her."

"Are you sure?" Jackie asked quietly. "You don't have to if you're not ready."

"I'm sure." Shauna nodded. "I trust, Violet."

"I'm flattered." Violet chimed in. "But also confused."

"I'm pregnant."

Violet paused, her confused gaze flicking towards Shauna in an instant. And by the look the Shipman girl was subtly shooting back at her, it was clear that she wanted Violet to play along.

She wanted Violet to lie to Jackie. Again.

Violet knew she didn't have much choice in the matter. She couldn't exactly blurt out that she already knew, that she caught Shauna in the act of an attempted abortion, that she knew exactly who the father was.

She promised Taissa she would look after Shauna. She promised Shauna that she'd help her though all of it, that she'd keep her secret. Yet it didn't take away from the guilt that swirled throughout her chest. The guilt that only grew with Jackie's delicate and supportive gaze that was stumped upon her.

Violet didn't want to lie to Jackie, really, she didn't. Especially when their shattered relationship had started to piece back together, for the first time in years. But she was knee deep in deception by this point, and it was too late to go back.

And what kind of person would Violet be to put even more stress on a wilderness-stranded pregnant girl.

But then again, what kind of person would Violet be if she withheld the truth.

It was a situation which had no good outcome.

So, with that, Violet decided to put on her best performance.

"What?" Violet feigned a shocked reaction, not missing the quiet sigh of relief that escaped Shauna's mouth. "This is... I mean― Holy shit. This is news... How did this happen?"

"Well," Shauna began. "When a man and a woman..."

"I don't think that's what she means, Shauna." Jackie scoffed lightly. The Taylor girl turned her gaze back to Shauna with a frown. "So you... you lost your virginity without telling me? With who...?"

Violet glanced at Shauna briefly, not being able to stop the tightening sensation in her throat as she awaited the girl's reply.

"Um.." Shauna inhaled sharply. "Randy."

Jackie and Violet's faces scrunched up simultaneously at the answer.

"Randy?" The girl's both questioned in unison, equal distaste evident in their voices.

Violet knew who the real father was, of course, yet still, she was shocked at Shauna's choice of a lie. Randy Walsh was... well... Randy Walsh.

"Wow." Jackie blinked. "Uh, okay."

"Yeah..." Violet said. "That's a... choice."

"Randy... Baby... I have so many questions." Jackie mumbled.

"I'm sure you do." Shauna replied timidly.

"Don't worry." Jackie was quick to swoop in with optimism after picking up on Shauna's deflation. "We're gonna get through this together, right Violet?"

Violet smiled, squeezing Shauna's hand in a comforting manner. "Exactly right."

Jackie pulled Shauna into her arms, hugging her tightly. "Neither of us are going anywhere, okay? We're gonna be here for you every step of the way. I promise."

Shauna and Violet locked eyes from over Jackie's shoulder, with a saddened look. Jackie's pure support and care for the situation made every part of their lie even more difficult, nothing but pure guilt gnawing at their guts relentlessly.

"Violet! Hurry the fuck up in there!" Natalie called from outside.

"Careful, she'll scold you for your language again." Lottie laughed.

Jackie pulled back from Shauna's embrace, her eyes instantly moving down to the two towels that were rolled up under Violet's arm.

She knew who they belonged to. Especially who one of the towels belonged to. And even if it was something small, it was still enough for her simmering annoyance to resurface.

In fact, the more she thought about it, seeing Violet in front of her was enough to do so.

She had been so distracted with Shauna, with making sure she was okay, that she hadn't even had time to let her thoughts slip back to the reason why Violet stayed.

Jackie knew she should've been happy that Violet didn't leave. And she was, for the most part. But she couldn't deny the lingering presence of envy behind it all.

Yes, Violet stayed. Yes, she was safe. Yes, Jackie got what she asked for.

But it wasn't in the way she hoped. The way she wanted. It wasn't because of her.

"So," Jackie moved her gaze up to Violet. "You and Lottie are back to normal now, I'm guessing?"

"Yeah." Violet nodded. "We talked it out and realised the whole thing was stupid."

"Thank god." Shauna sighed dramatically. "It was weird watching you two fight. You guys, like, never fight. It felt like I was watching my parents divorce or something."

"Sorry to put you through that." Violet apologised. "Again."

"Did she apologise?" Jackie asked before anyone else could get another word in. "Is that why you stayed?"

"I wouldn't exactly say she apologised." Violet chuckled. "We were pretty much arguing for most of the conversation."

"Oh, come on." Jackie prompted her to continue. "There must've been something that made you change your mind. I mean, the last time we talked, you were pretty adamant about leaving."

"I know that." Violet scratched the back of her head nervously. "But it just didn't seem right to go. After me and Lottie... talked."

"Oh." Shauna grinned knowingly. "I think I see where this is going."

"You do?" Jackie asked.

"Yeah." Shauna wiggled her eyebrows. "Something obviously happened between them."

"Very bold of you to assume that, Shipman." Violet remarked.

"Violet," Shauna said. "Your cheeks are red."

"Wh―" Violet wiped a hand over her face. "That's just because it's hot as fuck in here. You guys basically chose a sauna to have this conversation in."

Shauna pointed over her shoulder. "The windows are open."

"Okay, since when did you become Sherlock?" Violet quipped.

"So, did something happen?" Jackie continued her questioning.

"Jesus..." Violet sighed lightly, smiling shyly as she thought back to the previous night. "If you guys must know... yeah. The conversation we had it... it helped us realise things, I guess? And she kissed me."

Jackie let out a small breath, folding her arms across her chest before speaking up once more. "And... did you kiss her back?"

Shauna's brows furrowed at Jackie's words. She knew the Taylor girl too well to know that there was something more behind her tone. That her subtle probing for answers on the topic didn't stem from a simple interest.

Yet she didn't speak up on it. She wouldn't. Not now anyway. But still, Shauna couldn't help but take a mental note of the way Jackie's shoulders visibly tensed as she stared at Violet.

"Yeah." Violet nodded. "I did."

"Called it! Hey, maybe I am Sherlock." Shauna exclaimed. "But seriously, I'm happy you guys finally figured things out."

"Maybe you are." Violet chuckled. "And, thanks Shipman."

"That's good." Jackie's lips tugged up into a tight smile. "Are you guys like together now?"

"Still figuring that part out." Violet shrugged. "But, I mean, I hope so."

Jackie forced her smile to linger. "Right."

Violet frowned at Jackie's blunt reply. She knew that Lottie and Jackie didn't get along that well, for some reason, so she didn't exactly expect Jackie to be ecstatic. But she didn't expect her reaction to be like this.

It didn't take a genius to pick up on the fact that Jackie's smile was clearly fake. That it was a facade for how she truly felt. And the longer Violet looked at her, the more she could've sworn she saw a glimpse of disappointment behind her eyes.

Why that was the case exactly? Violet couldn't put her finger on it.

"Speak of the devil." Shauna chimed in, nodding her head towards the cabin entrance with a grin.

"Great." Jackie muttered under her breath quietly.

Violet looked over her shoulder, her eyes instantly falling upon Lottie, who was leaning in the doorway of the cabin.

"I swear I have the towels right here." Violet pointed to the items. "Hi, by the way."

"Hi." Lottie let out a soft chuckle. "Natalie said you have thirty seconds before she 'leaves your slow ass behind.'"

"Hey, blame these guys not me." Violet replied. "They distracted me."

Lottie looked towards Shauna and Jackie, although she kept her gaze mainly focused on the Shipman girl. "Are you guys coming? I can tell Nat to head down there and we can wait for you, if you want?"

Shauna nodded. "Yeah sure―"

"We're gonna stay here." Jackie cut her off.

Violet turned to Jackie, her face scrunching at the interruption. She looked between her and Shauna, confused at which answer to accept.

Shauna locked eyes with Jackie for a swift moment and picked up on the silent plea behind her eyes for her to agree.

With a small exhale, Shauna replied. "Yeah, it's probably better if we stay here actually. I'm pretty tired."

"Okay... if you're sure." Violet took their final answer reluctantly, beginning to walk towards Lottie. "Well, you guys know where we are if you need us."

Jackie nodded. "Same here."

And with that, Jackie watched as Violet exited the cabin with Lottie. Not being able to hold off the urge to clench her jaw.

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[ AUTHORS NOTE! ]

oh my jesus christ it's been so long I'M SORRY. after i got back from holiday i had a bit of writer's block since it had been a while since my last update, and couldn't bring myself to write anything good for the LIFE OF ME. but my god did i miss writing this fic. tbh i still feel like this chapter is pretty crap, but i still hope you guys enjoyed anyway

[ not proofread! ]