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MARIA

Convincing Leonardo that I was going out for a meal with a friend was difficult.

I couldn't use Iris or Rosa as excuses because he'd either want to take me there himself or he'd contact them.

But eventually, he let me go, unsupervised, which meant I needed to be quick before he'd start calling me being worried about if I was okay or not.

The cafe was quiet as expected for the time of day. I intentionally chose a cafe to meet up at; a place that we couldn't stay too long in. I adjusted the cuffs of my long sleeved top, fixing my skirt, fussing with the zip of my knee high boots, even swirling my ponytail in my hands. I was too anxious. My hands clasped together to stop myself from picking at my skin. I rubbed my glossed lips together and sighed. My eyes were constantly looked around, focusing in and out on the littlest things happening around me; the clinking of the cups in the kitchen, the sound of the spray the waiter was using as he wiped the table further away from me.

All I could smell was coffee, the strong scent of the hot brewed drink from the table behind me. They were a couple, sharing their stories from work a few hours before. Their voices were too loud for a cafe but they at least helped distract me from the storm of thoughts in my mind. I took a sip of my drink but the once hot espresso had cooled down to a cold one, it took my appetite away. My eyes darted upwards the moment the door opened and made that sound that reminded me of animal crossing. I deeply inhaled and let my mask of courage cover my face; he had arrived and I wouldn't let him see my nerves.

The man looked scruffy, an old shirt and some loose trousers on him. His beard had grown out messily and clearly he hadn't freshened up in a few days. He was still recognisable, my father. I could never say that he was a good man. Never once had I ever seen my father do anything good in my life within our household and beyond. The man was selfish and greedy. The only thing he cared about was power and money, I considered myself fatherless because I never once had a good father figure in my life.

He sniffed loudly as he sat down, rubbing his nose roughly as his eyes scanned the cafe before reaching me. "I don't see a bag," was the first thing he said to me, his eyes looking around me. He moved backwards on the chair, unable to sit still as he continued, "what? It can't be in that small thing, can it?" he nodded his head in the direction of my purse.

I let out a scoff, not even surprised by his behaviour. I folded my arms and finally spoke with a bitter tone, "is that the first thing you can say to your own daughter?" His face turned into a scowl as he impatiently began tapping his finger against the table.

"Not 'are you okay?', 'how have you been?'" I sarcastically suggested, though I knew it was useless. My eyebrows narrowed at him in a mixture of disgust and disappointment. It was like the little girl in me needed to get things off her chest.

He rolled his eyes. "I heard about the kidnap." I knew his words weren't going anywhere. Then he let out a throaty chuckle, the smell of cigarettes coming out of his mouth. "Being the slut just like your mother is what got you there."

I scoffed again, a glower forming on my face. I was immune to the insults I had been hearing all my life from him. I wasn't surprised at all that he brought her up, he always had to mention her in every conversation. It somehow always went back to her. "You just can't keep her out your fucking mouth, can you?"

"You little - you're wasting my time here - where is it?" He was getting snappier the more desperate he was quickly becoming. He was clearly agitated and on something, unable to keep still as his bloodshot eyes kept darting all over the place, one second biting a nail, the other, tapping his foot against the ground. The man was unstable.

My chin tilted downwards as I stared at him in disdain. "It's not here," I coldly said, a dark and chilling gaze casted towards him. "I came to tell you that this is the last time you'll contact me. I don't hold any familial relations to you." He scoffed, his hand rubbing his whole face as the frustration began to settle in. His whole face was reddening as he became more bothered. "You're not getting the money."

"You think that now you're with the Romanos you can just-"

"Exactly," I interrupted unfeelingly. "Don't you realise who you're bothering?"

He glanced up at the clock on the wall, growing more impatient. His fist slammed against the table, a callous and infuriated look on his face as he gripped the table. "You fucking-" he had enough. He must have expected to take the money and go seeing how eager he was to leave.

"You're a bitch, just like her, pathetic and-"

"'Pathetic?" I repeated incredulously with a small laugh in disbelief. "She should've left you when she had the chance," I said, feeling the growing fury within me as my heart pounded. I could feel my voice getting uncontrollably higher as I continued to let the words slip out of me, "that's what I always thought - but she couldn't. You married a woman, unfavored by her family to keep her as your fucking dog, a slave to you. She had no choice but to stay with you until she made something of herself - powerful to overcome you and her family."

What had been on my mind for so long was freeing itself in that moment, all my memories, all my conflicting feelings poured out as I spoke. "I hated her," I snapped, "I still fucking do but it's because of you! All of this-" my hand unconsciously waved in the air in frustration, "is because of you. You beat her to the point that she went crazy, hooked her up on all those drugs and alcohol so she wouldn't have to feel it anymore, so she'd forget!" I couldn't believe the realisation I had come to following the gradual revelation, over months, the childhood memories my mind had blocked out that was slowly coming back to me.

"She had a glimpse of hope after you got that deal with the Romanos - but the minute Luna came into the picture, you betrayed her trust and broke her back down again. She-" my own voice was shaking with anger, I was so furious my face had gotten hot and I could hardly form the words to speak. My wide eyes were filled with vexation, my jaw tightened the more angry I became. "She lived her life being trampled on by others and you ruined her till the end!"

I let out a breathless laugh in disbelief. "You call her a whore? A slut?" My chest grew more constricted as I spoke, the resentment filling me. "She-She never wanted it," I could no longer raise my voice, it was too broken, too shaky. "Any of it!"

"She was going to leave that night," I practically whispered, my voice desperate. I looked away, feeling the emotions begin to hit me as the back of my eyes began to prick. The memories I had forgotten to protect myself had returned after so long. "I remember now. I remember...she was going to leave after she found out what you tried to do to me..."

                                                     The same night she died, he had a friend over that night, a business partner, while my mother was at work. She had been leaving early and coming back late for a weeks, a new season was coming up. I liked it, it meant that I wasn't being overworked and could finally focus on all the assignments that had been piling up for so long because of ballet.

His guest was around the same age as him, if not older, and had been over at the house before. According to my mother, he was someone important and I needed to stay well away from. She didn't know he was over that night. The guest was always friendly. Very friendly. He seemed to like kids so I never did understand why she wasn't a fan of him, but I clearly found out later that night.

My father told me he had a phone call to make and while his guest was waiting, I had to show him around the house. He specified that he was an important person which meant that I had to do whatever he wanted, giving me a whole speech on it. I feared the consequences and did as I was told.

That lead to me showing him my bedroom eventually leading to one hand being on my thigh and the other against my cheek on the bed. I was young and I looked back at that moment, I felt stupid. At my age then, I should've understood what was happening, but I didn't. All I saw it was as me doing as I was told to avoid problems. That was how my mother found us, the minute she bursted through the door.

I had never seen such horror in her eyes. She was furious, she charged in and chased him out, throwing any sharp item she could find at him, shattering ornaments and smashing items she could get her hands on while shouting.

She stood in the middle of the room she messed up, breathless and with an extremely enraged look on her flushed face. Then it was my turn. I was stood there, my shoulders right up to my jaw as I felt the chill run down my spine - she was furious.
"Ma-"

Not a single thing was said until her hand came into contact with my cheek. It was a fast and harsh motion that shocked me. The force was so strong that I fell onto the mattress. It was hot and brutal, the stinging pain coursed through my cheek I swallowed the pain and slowly lifted my head, meeting her glare casted down at me with a hard gaze. She looked like she could end me right then and there. Her gaze was strong and piercing. Those grey eyes of hers had never been scarier. The muscles on her face tightened as her jaw clenched, she was fuming.

The rage in her stern eyes was enough to burn me alive. The level of anger radiating from her was enough to keep me silent. I practically gulped, slowly rising to my feet as my hand shakily held onto my cheek, the unwanted tears pricking my eyes.

"What were you doing..." She slowly began, her low voice trembling with fury as her slim hand curled into a fist by her side and she took a step closer to me. "...in your room with that man alone?"

I licked my lips, feeling my heart thunder in my chest as my body began to shake. I silently let out a breath, struggling to control the growing fear growing within me. "Mama. ."

Her hand raised and I flinched, my arm raising to shield myself. Her hand gripped onto my wrist and pulled me to her, a tight and painful grip on me. I winced immediately, softly gasping at her strong clutch. The tears unwilling slipped out of my eyes, despite my battle to appear strong.

"Dad, he - he said that he was important, that I had to do as I was told, that I had to-" stuttering only infuriated her even more, she hated it when I spoke in a quiet voice.

"You let an adult - a man try to touch you?" My mother could no longer contain her strong emotions. She screeched down to me, "you let him in your room and -" she let out a breath of frustration as though she was struggling to contain the words coming out of her. "I never thought - why were you in here with him? What were you going to do in here if I didn't come in?" She shook my arm, "well? Answer me!"

The tears ran down my cheeks, "I didn't 'let' anything!"

"Then how do you explain this?" She shouted in my face, her grip getting tighter and tighter as the fury grew. "You think that I go out all day and deal with all the crap that's thrown at me so I can come home and see this?" She scoffed, her hands waving in the air in anger. "You stupid, stupid idiot!"

"What?" She finally lowered her voice in slightly defeated and tired tone. "I guess you really believe the shit he always says. I go and open my legs for any man with money?" She scoffed again, shaking her head then she closed her eyes for a few seconds, sighing. Her voice raised again, a hard and incredibly harsh tone coming from her, "is that why you did this?"

A sudden burst of indignation and anger hit me. I yelled back without thinking, "I didn't want this! Dad said - he said this would benefit both of you!" I felt my bottom lip begin to quiver as the tears welled up in my eyes. I tore my arm away from her hold, her hand forcefully moving backwards as she stared at me with wide eyes. "Maybe you'd finally get that deal you've been stressed about for so long and get off my back! You'd stop pressurising me all the time!" Her eyebrows narrowed at me, but she couldn't fully mask the shock beginning to cover her face.

I ran my shaking fingers through my hair and let out a breath of exasperation. "You're always pushing me to do stuff I don't want to do! Both of you!" I felt my chest tighten as the words got harder to release. "I don't want to be your puppet, I don't want to be trapped in this house - I didn't want him to touch me..."

I had released all the anger and weakly said, "I didn't want to be the cause of another problem in this fucking prison."

"You hurt me," I unexpectedly said, my eyes meeting hers once more. She had lost all the fury that was once clouding her face. My mother suddenly looked deflated, a softer and more shocked look on her face. "That's what you do when you're stressed," I coldly whispered, swallowing down the tears that urged to come out. "So I do everything I can to avoid it."

"I hate you. I hope you'll always fucking remember that."

Never once in my life had I sworn to my mother. She hated it and I never had the courage to even talk back to her. So I expected her to scream back at me, to hit me or kick me out but she stood there. The woman stood there and wrapped her thin arms around her torso, blinking rapidly as she stared at me. Her grey eyes ran all over my face.

It was such an intent and deep gaze that silenced me once more. I felt the tears run down my cheeks, staring back at her in hatred and fury. I had never even had the courage to stare so darkly back into her cold eyes that were then filled with what looked like complete shock. She had froze and her face had changed from earlier.

It was as though she realised that I was a grown girl, not the little child she used as a puppet. She even looked fearful, my mother's face changed into a mixture of astonishment and fear at what I had just said. It was as though she realised her mistakes, that she had ruined me. The tears stung in my eyes but I held a strong glare, holding my head up as I forced myself to stay strong.

She inhaled as she shook her head, blinking back what looked like tears in her eyes. Then she turned, swiftly leaving the room without a single word to say.

That was the same night that she died.

"She was going to leave..." I quietly repeated, slightly distracted. I looked down for a moment and let myself remember. I didn't want to pity her, I never wanted to defend her. But the memories I was finally remembering painted some events in a different light. My hate for her was unwavering for a long time, I had how my heart was slowly opening to sympathy. "Then you killed her," I sharply attested, my eyebrows drew together. "Which is something you still can't own up to after all these years."

"That's because she threw herself off," he snapped as I stared at him in disbelief. I had enough wasting time speaking to him.

"I'm not giving you anything," I made him know, my eyes squinting a little as I glared. "I am not a machine. You'll leave me and Luna alone. Find another place to beg for money." I had freed myself from them, people I no longer called my parents. All I had was Luna and that was enough, I didn't want to hold the burden of my mother's death any longer and I didn't want a leech of a father any more. It was time to break the chain holding me to the past. I wanted peace.

My hand reached out for my bag and I stood, about to walk straight past him until he grabbed my wrist. My eyes widened as he turned me, "did you forget who you're talking to? You think you can just walk away-" his other hand raised and before I could do anything about it quickly coming closer to my face, another large hand grabbed his wrist.

My mouth fell open in shock as my head lifted to meet a familiar pair of hazel eyes.

I blinked stupor, my eyes slowly taking in my surroundings. The cafe had no customers and not an employee in sight. I couldn't believe I didn't notice how empty it had become. The whole place, instead was filled with people wearing black, armed.

Surprisingly, I realised what was happening very quickly. I took a step backwards and exhaled slowly. I felt disoriented for a moment, looking around and seeing so much around me, my head was beginning to throb.

My eyes averted back to Leonardo but he wasn't looking at me, but my father. Then it didn't take quite long until his wrists were bound and he was swearing curses on the Romano family who had captured him.

I continued to stare at Leonardo, his lips were moving but I couldn't hear anything he was saying. I felt dizzy and felt a mixture of emotions. Humiliation? Anger? Relief? I knew it without him even having to tell me. I knew the real reason why he was in that cafe, and it wasn't for me.

When my eyes slowly moved and landed on Vincenzo, I was pulled away from my trance. It was in the middle of the hostile conversation when I quietly said in a dejected tone, "Vince, let's go." His lighter eyes met mine in surprise.

"Do what you want with him," I finally spoke to Leonardo, halting their conversation as my father was battling to free himself from the hold. I coldly added, "I don't want to know what you do with him."

"He's not my father anymore."

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~ Author's Note ~

Maria has remembered a significant event that happened before her mother died that is slowly making her feel different about her mother. Is Maria valid in beginning to feel sympathetic for her mother?

Leonardo came to her rescue - but is that really the case considering he was more focused on taking her father?

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