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MARIA

I had slept through the whole night and somehow made it to my bed. I thought that I must've been really tired to forget how I got upstairs.

The cold that I had been enduring was finally showing signs of recovery. I had the energy to change into some black leggings and a loose top to prepare myself for a morning pilates session. Iris was right; I needed to take care of myself and not let my mind fall into the trap of my emotions. Leonardo was well; Marco had shared enough. Therefore, I needed to not let the problems we were facing hinder my health.

I was determined that morning. I grabbed the yoga mat on my way downstairs with a bounce to my steps. I forced myself to stay positive and to not dwell in depression. I had been there before and didn't want to fall down that hole again—the pain was enough as it was.

It was still early in the morning, but usually, Iris would have arrived by then to see me. I glanced at my phone to see if there were any messages as I walked down the stairs. A frown formed on my face as I realised there wasn't a message or call from Iris. She didn't usually go silent like that. I inhaled and forced myself to think brightly; it was a good thing she hadn't contacted me; it meant that she was resting and not too worried about me. She didn't need to be anymore; I was going to be fine. I had to be.

I inhaled deeply again and forced myself to smile, sending her a text to express my gratitude to her. Just as I closed my phone, my foot slipped and completely missed the next step. My eyes expanded as I yelped, my body unwillingly moving forwards and towards the following stairs, ready to collide. As I let out a pathetic scream, my eyes shut tight as I let myself fall, only to be caught by a pair of strong arms, pulling my body forwards with my feet landing perfectly on the ground.

I kept my eyes closed, still shaken by what just happened. I couldn't believe my feet were touching the ground. With my heart racing, I exhaled, realising that I was safe and I didn't fall down all those steps. My eyes opened to meet a broad chest covered by a grey top. My head moved upwards to meet a pair of slightly bloodshot hazel eyes, looking down at me. "L-Leonardo!" I blurted out, my mouth running faster than my mind.

He was there; he was standing right in front of me with his arms holding mine tightly. Leonardo had no expression on his face; he just stared at me. His eyes were blank and glistening under the sun's rays. I let out a breath and, without thinking, moved closer and wrapped my arms around him with all my strength, my head against his hard chest that was beating incredibly quickly. "You're okay," I whispered in relief, letting out a few tears as I held onto his warm body, grateful he was still fine and healthy.

I realised the mistake that I was making too late; his arms were still by his side, and he stood stiffly, not even touching me. I moved back a few steps, seconds after hugging him as though he was fire. I quickly wiped my eyes and brought my hands together, tightly holding them so they wouldn't start shaking. My eyes slowly reached his dark ones; an unfamiliar and sharp gaze was cast onto me. The atmosphere between us was unbearably tense.

My cautious eyes made their way slowly across his face. He looked so unyielding and emotionless that it intimidated me; I could no longer make eye contact with him. Leonardo was a lot bigger than me; his muscular arms were bulging from his shirt, and his height made me lift my head high simply to look up at him. I felt like he was staring at me all over. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have..." I quietly trailed off in defeat, realising how much we were suddenly distant. It was only a week ago when we were laughing and cuddling each other. We were like opposite poles, deflecting from each other.

I sniffed, my nose becoming blocked again. Great. "We should...talk," I suggested, feeling suddenly self-conscious and small, unable to speak freely before him.

He walked straight past me to the kitchen, accepting my suggestion without saying anything. I shakily let out a breath to calm my beating heart. It was going to be a long and difficult conversation.


I sat opposite him at the small table; my leg accidentally brushed against his as I tucked my chair in. I immediately brought them away, avoiding any physical contact with him. The last thing I wanted to do was irritate him. I pulled the strands of my long hair behind my ears and sat up straight. My hands stayed on my lap, scraping the skin off my thumbs as I nervously sat before him.

He looked as large as usual at the small table; his muscles were even more evident as he folded his arms, his eyes slowly reaching mine. I looked away again, wanting to keep my sanity.

"Why do you keep looking away?" My eyes widened at his abrupt question. My head snapped upwards to look at him, and I swallowed roughly.

"I-I..." I couldn't reply, partly because my throat went hoarse again and my words weren't coming out. I was startled by his unexpected question. I coughed again; a series of them left me as my body forced me to clear my throat in that moment. My face heated up as I tried to contain them, but I couldn't stop spluttering.

I quickly stood and moved over to the sink, my back facing him as I gulped down some water, hoping that would appease my dry throat. I closed my eyes in embarrassment as I washed my hands, mentally groaning at myself. Soon after, I sat down opposite him again and cleared my scratchy throat, wanting to desperately move past that mortifying moment. His hard face hadn't changed.

I found the courage to start the conversation by expressing what was building in my heart, "I know you're mad at me. I know you're confused and frustrated, and you have the absolute right to be angry," I started, my voice becoming slightly more clear. I swallowed before truthfully saying, "But leaving like that..." I hesitated before firmly saying, "No matter what, Leonardo, leaving like that is something I never want to experience again. I never want you to experience that again. Don't leave and disappear without saying anything to anyone." My eyes met his golden ones again, strong and brave. "You will never understand how much you worried everyone. How much you worried me."

He gave me a look of disbelief and slight irritation. "You don't have to worry about me anymore." I felt my heart tighten in my chest. I looked down again, already knowing where the conversation would lead to. The moment I revealed the truth, our relationship had changed forevermore.

"I'm sorry for putting a gun to your head," Leonardo unexpectedly apologised, an emotionless look on his face as he averted his eyes from mine. "That wasn't right." I quickly nodded, not wanting to relive that night again and think about the fear in my heart then.

"I'm sorry for everything," I replied genuinely as my croaky voice continued, "For not telling you the truth despite being with you and listening to your heart. I'm so sorry for breaking your trust and letting you live like that. I was ignorant and..." I paused, closing my eyes momentarily as I tried not to let any tears slip out. "And I will never betray your trust again. That was everything I had ever kept from you with the intention of protecting Sienna. But I should've prioritised you. I'm sorry, Leonardo."

My words didn't look like they had fazed him. He exhaled, simply staring at me as though my voice had gone through one ear and out the other immediately. "It's a little too late for all of that now," Leonardo bitterly responded, "I've heard enough apologies. There's no need to add more."

"Why doesn't she want to see us?" He suddenly asked, his eyes narrowed towards me.

I moved slightly on the seat, feeling uncomfortable speaking for Sienna. She had many reasons. "It would unlock a lot of painful memories for her, Leonardo. Ones she doesn't want to remember," I softly answered, feeling for her. I remembered how much she suffered even after leaving. Sienna was a victim of abuse. "I will let you know when she is ready. I promise." He scoffed and looked away, my anxiety spiking at his reaction.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me my own sister was alive," Leonardo spoke his mind, shaking his head as he chuckled in disbelief. "I can't believe it." His coldness was hard to endure. I looked down again and allowed him to say whatever would lift his anger off his mind.

"That you, out of all people, kept such a life-changing secret," Leonardo went on, his fury laced through his words. I quickly wiped away the stray tears rolling down my cheeks. I was the wrong person to be crying in that situation. I didn't have the right.

"If you could go back, would you have told me sooner?" Leonardo questioned strongly, his eyes intent on me. My lips parted, but initially nothing came out. I knew my true thoughts would be awful, but I still answered, "I would. I would've done a lot of things differently. But nonetheless, I still would've respected Sienna's wishes."

"So your full loyalties are only with her?" He probed, his tone provoking and strong. I slowly exhaled, my nails digging into the palms of my hands. "My loyalties lie with both of you. I didn't manage them well," I responded, my voice shaking at the end. He looked away as if he couldn't stand hearing me. He sighed in frustration, his jaw clenching. I blinked over and over, trying to keep my tears. There was no breakthrough at that point.

My eyes slowly lifted back to his. "Leo, I love you," I quietly said, unable to say anything more.

"We're not done," Leonardo's eyes stayed strong on me. I lifted my head to him again, my heart aching in my chest. "But I don't trust you." His words felt like a dagger to my heart. I was falling apart inside; the words I never wanted to hear were finally before me, ready to engulf me right then and there. "I can't trust you. I can't look at you without thinking about it, about what you did, about Sienna, about that fucking ballerino you didn't tell me about. Thinking about how much I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you." I couldn't stop the tears that silently rolled down my cheeks.

It had finally come; Leonardo was breaking up with me.

"I understand," I managed to croak out, my hands swiftly wiping my face. Leonardo didn't trust easily, and I had broken his faith in me. He had gone back to how he was before and was even now against trusting me.

Leonardo continued, "I don't know what the fuck I need. A break? To cut you out completely? I don't fucking know—there's too much right now for me to deal with. I don't know where we stand anymore. But right now, I'm furious—I'm raging at you, and I hate it." His eyes were intensely staring at me as if he could see through my soul. I let out a quiet cry, looking down again as I tried to stop. "I hate that I hate you. I hate that I still care about you," he said, his voice becoming weak as he became overwhelmed with emotions. "And I hate that I still love you."

I covered my face as I held my cries that were fighting to break out. My whole body went boiling hot as I held in the great flood of tears trying to break free. I squeezed my eyes closed and sucked in my pain, my heartbreak, and my sorrow for the man that I loved, the man that was slipping away from me. I tried to remain calm. "I'll leave," I told him, my voice muffled by my hands. "I'll get out of your space." I wiped my face again and looked at him. "I'll give you a chance to understand how you feel."

"Just stay," he unintentionally snapped, sharply inhaling as he realised how harsh he sounded. He looked away as his jaw tightened. "You're vulnerable. You have a fucking stalker looking for you. I'm barely home anyway."

"No," I firmly declined, sniffling as I struggled to breathe through my nose. I tried not to sound nasally. "I have my own people to protect me, and the last thing you need is me constantly around you. You'll never know how to properly feel about this with me there." I stood, about to walk past him until he grabbed my wrist, stopping me in my tracks.

My sore eyes slowly looked down at him, astonished at his sudden touch. His hazel eyes gazed into mine, and he let out a small breath, his face changing into the Leonardo I once knew, calmer and sweet. "Maria," he quietly said without a purpose. I closed my teary eyes again, pathetically unable to handle him even calling my name. He didn't say anything else; it was like he couldn't manage to say anything else.

"I'm sorry. It's my fault." I hoarsely apologised, my tears spilling out again. "I'll be gone by tonight. You shouldn't feel guilty for wanting to feel your emotions and come to terms with everything. I should've told you." He looked ahead. His large hand slowly loosened around my wrist, and I quickly left the kitchen and quickly went upstairs.

The bedroom door slammed shut behind me, and my upper body landed on the mattress, my legs weak on the floor and my head buried in the duvet as a wave of pain hit me. I sobbed into that bed so hard and deep as if my whole world had come shattering down. My hands tightened around the sheets, and I heaved and heaved, letting out every single tear that I had held in during that conversation and releasing it. My cries were intense and grave; I felt like throwing up from the great agony I was experiencing inside—it was too much for my body to handle.

We were over; he was unable to even be around me. I had broken our bond, our love, our relationship. It had all come crashing down.

My nose was running, and my tears mixed with it on the sheets. It was the ugliest and most powerful cry I had ever had. Hot tears streamed down my cheeks as I sobbed and sobbed, uncontrollably releasing my remorse and anguish over him. I was in a dishevelled mess, my whole body shaking with sadness.

I was going to pack my bags and leave.

Leonardo's and my journey had ended there.

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~ Author's Note ~

That was a conversation Maria never wanted to go through.

Leonardo and Maria are taking a break. The news hit Leonardo hard.

Will they be able to come back together from this?

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