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LEONARDO

"It's. .it's still the fire. ."

"The smell of the smoke filling my nose, clouding my brain and suffocating me." I touched my chest, squeezing my eyes closed as I exhaled slowly, trying to calm my trembling body. "That claustrophobic feeling of being surrounded by bright, blazing hot lights. . .so chaotic, burning everything around me. The tightness of my chest running while trying to escape, the burning feeling in my dry eyes, the dizziness. I remember stumbling and hitting my head hard against a burning wall."

"The heat of the flames piercing through my skin-" I stopped, realising that I was gasping for breath, tightly gripping onto the chair, sweat dripping down my face as I wheezed, the tears blurring my vision.

Doctor Edwards was in front of me, his eyes calm and collected as he urged me to take regular, steady breaths with a glass of water ready in his hand. I followed the sound of his reassuring voice, my chest vividly rising and lowering at a calmer pace as I continued to lock eyes with him, clutching onto his support.

Closing my eyes, I threw my head back a little, my hand covering my face as I fought to regain my breath.

"It was so hot. ." I mumbled, my hand blocking my mouth. I sighed, feeling pathetic and embarrassed. "They're less frequent these days but I'm still afraid of fire and the dark. .like a fucking child. . .I still can't get over it. That's why Vincenzo manages everything - I can't. ."

"It's not 'childish' to have trauma, Leonardo," Doctor Edwards warmly refuted, shaking his head sympathetically at me. He pushed up his round glasses, taking a seat in his brown chair. "You have to remember that you are the victim. You have to be patient on this journey of healing-"

I groaned, looking back at him. "Not this crap again." I sighed, rubbing my eyes tiredly, "and. ." Hesitating, I trailed off, struggling to find the right words to say.

I hated hospitals but that room in his clinic was the only one I ever felt safe in. The sofa was comfortable, the moment I took a seat, my body sunk into it, its fabric was soft and delicate, intricately designed to perfection. The theme Doctor Edwards had going on was closer to my style, navy walls, a few pieces of art hanging, a nice diffuser. What appealed to me the most was the fact that the room was compact, exactly how I liked it. Big spaces weren't my thing, the mansion I grew up in was too large and empty, a big building for nothing.

He knew a lot about me, more than most people would ever know. He wasn't someone who would run their mouth so easily but I knew the danger of sharing too much as a Don. There were some things that just had to be kept to myself for his protection.

I preferred a male therapist than female. Tried it out once and she was far too busy focusing on my body than my problems. Plus, Doctor Edwards had been the reason for my improvement mentally though I never showed it. I could be as vulnerable as I needed to in front of him without judgement; it wasn't easy to uncover the layers I had built over the years.

He too wore glasses, with a higher prescription than mine, and pushed them up his nose bridge as he glanced over his notes while I focused on the nature outside.

"And?" He repeated inquisitively, clicking his pen as though he was ready to scribble something down.

I tapped my finger against the chair, sitting stiffly. "I feel. . .not like myself. ." My eyebrows furrowed a little as I thought of how to further explain. Rubbing the back of my neck, I added, "I'm getting softer. ."

"And why do you think that is?" Doctor Edwards asked, his pine eyes focused on me as he waited for my answer. I shook my head, sighing without a clue of how to respond.

He gave me an encouraging look and after a few moments, I practically whispered, "it's her. ."

"What about her?" he gently probed, writing simultaneously. I tried not to focus too much on the sound of the pen sliding across the paper. I cleared my throat as I looked out the window, an unfamiliar tingling sensation in my chest.

"I. .I don't usually smile or laugh or even think positively about the future. But being around her. . .I don't know. ." I then firmly added, "she somehow makes me feel. .better than the pills ever did." I felt embarrassed; my eyes constantly shifted around the room as I breathed out slowly, trying to lower the heat rising to my face. "Instead of pushing it away like I should. .I feel. .addicted to her presence."

"How so?"

Sheepishly, I continued, "when she leaves in the morning. .I'd wish she'd stay longer. .and at work, I think about what she could be doing, if she's ate well, if she's happy and safe." I felt my pulse racing as I exposed myself even more by saying, "a-and. .how many more hours there are to see her. I can't sleep properly without her."

Doctor Edwards wrote a few things down before giving me a hesitant look. "What?" I inquired, my eyes averting back to him.

"You once said that there was someone who made you feel like you were home," He vacillated, "that with them you forgot all your problems and felt at peace. . .maybe your fiancée is your new pill."

I gave him a look of disapproval, "you've read too many romance books, Mr Edwards." He chuckled, but his face was telling me that his opinion stayed the same.

"It's an arrangement, right?" He asked and I nodded in response. "But you've known her since you were children, so she's not a stranger. You might think that it's just business but your feelings speak otherwise. I think you're in love, Don."

I looked at him sceptically. The word 'love' made me furrow my eyebrows, suddenly unsure of what that meant.
I thought of her and instantly her infectious smile came into mind, those twinkling eyes of hers, her sweet laughter. Shaking my head, I tried to brush away all thoughts of her.

"I can't love her," I responded simply as I crossed my arms, trying not to show that I was thinking of her.

"Why?"

"She's an angel. .she doesn't really involve herself in what her family used to do. She works hard and gets what she wants legitimately. Any guy she wants could have her, she doesn't have to try. But she. ." I sighed, thinking of the impossibility of being with her. "She still chooses me, a fucked up person who can't give her what she needs. I can't let her ruin what she's built because of me."

He had a knowing smile on his face. Taking off his glasses, he said, "sounds a lot like someone who loves her."

"Don, if she loves you, it's because she genuinely cares about you, and it's worth all the risks and sacrifices to be with you," The doctor advised, his tone calm and reassuring. "She clearly makes you happy, Leonardo. You have to free yourself from the past-"

"I can't. ." I interrupted quietly, my eyes on the vacuumed carpet. "After what happened, after how I left her, I can't. She's better off without me and my baggage in her life. I'll bring her down."

"I don't think she thinks that way," he sympathetically disagreed, "there's a reason why she's waited all those years for you and you shouldn't push that away. Doing so could push her away completely, there's only so much a person can take."

"Then let her," I muttered fatalistically.

"What I'm trying to say is," he empathetically began, placing the pen down and focusing on me as he realised I had retreated behind my wall once again. "We still have a lot to uncover and work with which will take time, and that's okay. We need time in order for you to heal fully. But along this journey, you've met someone, someone who you're pushing away because you don't want to feel happy, you feel the need to punish yourself for what happened."

"But that was completely out of your control and not your fault, Leonardo. You must let yourself become free," Doctor Edwards asserted, his eyes filled with kindness but I couldn't take it. I looked away, secretly knowing he was right but being unable to accept the truth.

"Don't let this ruin your relationships and your life. But also learn not to depend on her. You must separate love and healing."

"That's exactly what I'm afraid of," I murmured bitterly, feeling mentally drained.

I glanced at the clock and stood, the doctor giving me a disappointed look as he knew what I was about to do, what I always did when things got too much.

"The hour's up. See you next week, doc."

I wasn't long after the session that I reached the apartment. Another long, tedious day had eventually brought me home.

I was on the phone to Marco as I entered the pin to the apartment. It was a pin, that changed frequently, and a finger print to get in. "I haven't checked it out yet but there is footage of Daphne from that night in the parking lot. I'll go over later and have a look."

"Good work," I responded, holding back my annoyance at the incorrect pin.

As I tried again, I ordered, "Update me when you have it."

"Yes, don."

"Don't forget to send over the list of phone calls and texts sent to Daphne and Maria's phone, figure out their location too." I hung up as as it alerted to me that it was unlocked and took a step into the darkness of my home.

I took off my shoes, struggling to see. I was expected to see Maria at home, dancing as she usually did or running around like a child with the dog; the lights were never off when she was around and at that time, she should've been home.

Accidentally whacking my arm against a piece of unknown furniture, I frowned as I squinted my eyes, trying to decipher where the hell the switch was. My hand slid against the wall, searching for it and once it touched a cold, recognisable spot, I pressed and the lights switched on.

There she was, standing in the middle of the space holding a black hammer in each of her small hands aiming at me.

I couldn't hide my astonishment at her position. My eyes trailed across her frightened frame, her slim arms trembling in the air, her toned legs apart, ready to throw an attack. She exhaled slowly, her wide eyes still full of fear as she stared at me.

Concerned as to how she had even gotten a hold of the weapons, I slowly approached her. I knew I had to tread carefully in such a situation.

She looked unwilling to let go of the hammers, her hands clutching onto them. With my eyes never leaving hers, she softened her gaze, loosening her grip as she let me take the hammers off her. A tear slipped out of her stormy eye while her bottom lip quivered, as I dropped the hammers on the ground with a gentle thud.

"Ria-" I started in a calm tone, cut off by her suddenly moving swiftly to me, and she buried her head in my chest, our bodies pressed against each other. Her hands held onto fistfuls of my shirt, and I could feel it, the tears beginning to soak my shirt. I wrapped my arms around her, tightening us, and placed my head on top of hers. I felt confused but in that moment, I knew she needed comfort, a sense of protection and security.

". .I thought I heard a noise downstairs. I thought it was. ." She weakly trailed off, sniffing as she attempted to stop the tears, calming down as the trembling decreased. I knew what she meant. It was most likely the moving van from outside. She exhaled in what seemed to be relief, squeezing her eyes closed as she relaxed in my arms. "I'm so glad it's you. .I was shitting myself."

Maria was a strong woman but her hard exterior was definitely shaped from all the experiences she has been through as a child and a woman working as a public figure. She had shown her vulnerable side to me, the true fear that was living in her over the stalker she desperately wanted out her life. I knew how much she wanted them found and dead, but I also recognised that she wasn't fully vengeful, but scared and worried. "It's been a hard day. I got a few messages from. . ."

I gently stroked her hair, "it's just me," I murmured, "you're safe here, teroso {treasure}. Nothing and no one can ever hurt you in these walls."

Maria lifted her head slowly, her eyes running up my face. "Oh, Leo," she whispered, her glossy lips catching my eyes. Her lustrous lips parted as her dark eyes lowered. Lifting her head, she locked lips with mine and she tasted so fucking good. I melted against her sweet lips and let her take over me, her soft hands sliding upwards and cupping my face as she passionately kissed me. I could feel the thudding of our heartbeats against each other, the increasing pressure between us.

It felt weird to enjoy the moment; I fully let myself go, falling into her inescapable love, her warmth, her presence. I couldn't think of anything else in that short but impactful moment shared between us. I didn't want her to pull away and when she did, a powerful sense of yearning overtook me.

My mind gave me so many different scenarios as I felt the immediate loss of her affection; making out with her all over the couch, carrying her upstairs to taste her more, kissing her desperately right then and there. But as usual I stopped myself, blinking in slight surprise at her action.

Maria gazed at me, her eyes filled with sincerity as she said, "I missed you today." I didn't know what to say back and freaked out again. I couldn't maintain eye contact with that powerful gaze and cleared my throat as I loosened my grip on her, realising I was getting too comfortable again. I couldn't tell her the truth - that I too missed her and thought about her almost every second of the day.

The twinkle in her grey eyes simmered as I let go of her, once again, pushing her away. Her small smile disappeared and she wrapped her arms around her small frame as I slightly moved back.

"Did you. .eat dinner?"

She looked astonished that I had even asked and lost eye contact with me, pulling a strand of her silky hair behind her ear, showing off her fine jawline. "I had lunch-" she began, which was the perfect opportunity to move away from her to the kitchen so I could stop the heat from rising to my cheeks and the feeling of being a little school boy having his first kiss.

I opened the fridge as soon as I got in, the cool air fanning my face and immediately calming me down as I frantically scanned the inside, hoping something would catch my eye. I knew she was staring intensely in quiet confusion from afar, and felt myself tense up as she slowly began to walk towards me, her hips swaying gently as usual.

"You're a good kisser, Leo," Maria nonchalantly complimented in a teasing voice, her arms sliding around my waist as she held onto me from behind.

As I grabbed a few fruits, the pressure rose in my chest as I fought to control my fast heart rate. "No, I'm not," I mumbled back, feeling awkward as she clutched onto me while I turned, taking a chopping board and beginning to cut the fruit. "Get off," I muttered but it came out much softer than I intended it to be. Somehow, I knew she was grinning behind me, her thin fingers intertwining together on my torso.

"Why haven't you have dinner?"

"It's late," Maria answered, "and I didn't feel like it." Her fingers opened and the palm of her hand pressed against my abdomen. "Wow. ." She whispered in amazement, her hands moving up and down my abs which sent sent tingles throughout me. I stiffened, her touch affecting me. "Stop skipping your meals," I quietly scolded, struggling to concentrate as her hands played around and she chuckled.

"This is harassment."

"It's not harassment if you enjoy it, Leo."

I sighed, trying to ignore her physical explorations, difficult as I was ticklish. I moved the fruit into a bowl then washed my hands. Her arms finally released me.

"How's Lia?" Maria asked in concern while she sat down. My eyebrows knitted together in confusion as I noticed the dark turtle neck she was wearing, covering her entire neck, matched with some long, beige trousers. She didn't usually wear warm clothes like that in the house and the weather had been warmer than usual that day.

I brought the bowl over and sat down, replying in concern, "she's well - with her grandmother - are you sick?" She raised her eyebrows in confusion so I further stated, "you're wearing a turtle neck." An unfamiliar emotion unexpectedly struck her face but it quickly became replaced by a bright smile.

It was the first time a smile she had given me was a facade.

I could tell. It immediately threw me off.

It felt wrong.

"Oh, it was a little cold today. . .after practice, my throat felt a bit off. But it's okay, I'm sure I'll be fine tomorrow." She quickly stabbed her fork into a watermelon piece and ate it, "mmm! This is delicious! I haven't had watermelon in so long. ." I focused less on her words from there and watched as she continued to hide something from me.

It was unusual. Maria would tell me everything - anything, things I didn't even want to know and yet she was lying to me which made me frustratingly curious as to why.

I became distanced that night after her sudden change in behaviour trying to uselessly guess why she lied. She was covering it up well too, being her usual bubbly self. Even when sat in pain after dancing all day and training with Contessa, she still managed to think positively while I massaged her sore legs after eating.

The evidence of her hard day was shown by the red bruises and marks on her, the peeling plasters on her toes, the swelling and blood seeping out from the tiny cuts and splits she had undergone during her long day. I couldn't ignore the limping and painful winces she would do as she walked. To keep focused, I purposely didn't look at her face and when I caught myself drifting off too far into my imagination, I brought myself back, continuing to use my hands to help soothe the tenseness in her smooth legs.

"Thanks," she told me in an unintentionally cute voice, which almost made me completely remove the questions filling my head about earlier, as she got comfortable in the bed after the massage. Her beautiful eyes twinkled under those long eyelashes of hers, gazing into mine, enticing me.

I tried to be empathetic mentally, perhaps I was tantalised by her captivating presence, the conversations we had before bed, her consuming aura.

But I couldn't get rid of the intrusiveness to figure out the truth.

It was a first that she had fallen asleep before me.

With the lamp on, I stared at her angelic face; those cherry lips were slightly parted and looked more kissable than ever, her skin was flawless, I fought the urge to caress her soft cheek. Instead my hand slowly came closer to her as I watched carefully to ensure she was still sleeping.

Gently pulling down the turtle neck, just so I could see enough, I became even more perplexed as I looked down respectfully.

Feeding my curiosity did not help.

My eyes scanned over her thin neck noticing the small red line across it, a few bruises that looked like. . .

I tried to think of every single possibility other than what my mind was alerting me with as my heart began to thump hard against my chest. I felt flustered and confused, a mix of emotions consuming me in that short moment.

There was something she wasn't telling me and I knew my mind wouldn't rest until I found out.

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~ Author's Note ~

The first lie from Maria!

Even writing it, I felt tense for Leonardo. He doesn't know what to do or what to think, and he really doesn't want to jump to conclusions.

But knowing Maria has lied to him is hard to digest.

On a brighter note, Leonardo is receiving therapy and hopefully, the conversation with his doctor might help him understand his feelings a little bit better.

Aaannnddd, we got another kiss between Maria and Leonardo! Short but sweet and telling enough!

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