Sorry for the misspellings and grammatical errors
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Shawn
3 months have passed by. 3 long terribly months.

I haven't been myself during these months. I haven't been at the studio as often as I should have. I have lost my appetite so I have lost a few pounds. I don't meet my friends as often as I used to. And I have been drinking more, I know that sadness and alcohol aren't a good combination but right now this is a way to distract myself from all the pain.

I have spent most of my days at the hospital, trying to talk to Harper. Even though I know that she won't respond back, I know that she can hear me and I know what she would have responded if she wasn't in a coma. So I kind of has a conversation with myself. I know what she would respond so I imagine her response in my head and then respond back. I know that it seems silly, but I need to talk to her. I want her to remember me when she wakes up.

Today I decided to go to the studio, even though I didn't have the energy for it. But I can't go around in the apartment all the time. I need to think something else.

I drummed my pen against the notebook in front of me and my fingers in my hair and my elbow resting on top of the desk. I have been looking at the empty page for 40 minutes now and I haven't written down one single word.

"Dude, are you sure that you shouldn't go home?" Geoff asked me from the black leather couch behind me. "You look terrible. You need to rest" he walked up to me and placed his hand on my shoulder. "No, I shouldn't go home. I need to do something that makes me not to think of Harper"

"Whatever you say man. I think that you need to come back when you feel better, and right now you just need to go home"

"That's the problem Geoff. I will never feel the same again. I am going to blame myself for the rest of my life"

"Why would you to that?"

"Becuase I should have been more firm when I told her to put on the seatbelt" I looked up at him and tears started to form in my eyes again.
"You did everything you could. It's not your fault Shawn" "I just wish that I could have done something"

I breathed out heavily and was just going to say something when my phone in my pocket started to ring.

I took it out from my jeans pocket and looked at the screen 'Hospital' I looked up at Geoff and the others before I quickly answered and put my phone against my ear. "I'm searching for Shawn Mendes. Is it possible you?" a man's voice asked on the other side of the phone. "Yes, this is he" I answered and walked out of the room and closed the door behind me.

"Your wife Harper Mendes has just woke up and I think it's a good idea if you come to the hospital as quick as possible"

I felt relieved, like the weight disappeared from my heart. "I-is she o-okay?" "Yes she seems fine, just a little bit of confused. But there is nothing to worry about. She has been in a come for 3 months after all"

"I'll be there in 20 minutes" I ended the call and brust into the room and took my jacket and there it over my folded arm. "I need to go. Harper just woke up" I walked out of the room before the other guys could even say anything.

I ran as quickly as I could in the hallway in the hospital. When I entered her room, she was awake and a doctor talked to her.

I cleared my throat which causes the doctor and Harper to look at me. "Oh good that you came Mr. Mendes" the doctor nodded to me. I walked up to Harper and stood beside the doctor. I smiled at her and she just looks confused.

"I'm gonna leave you guys alone for a little while" the doctor placed a hand on my shoulder before she walked her way towards the door. "H-hi, how are you feeling?" "My head hurts so much. Can you give me an aspirin or something doctor?"

She didn't ask the doctor that she talked to a few seconds ago. No no, she asked me. She looked at me so she must have asked me. My heart dropped to the ground. The doctor stopped and turned around and we changed looks. "N-no Harper. I'm your husband. Shawn"

She furrowed her eyebrows and looked even more confused. "N-no, you are my doctor. I would have known if I was married to you"

I can't believe it. My own wife doesn't remember me. It was this I was scared of. I quickly walked out of the room with tears in my eyes and I heard footsteps running behind me but I ignored them. I want to go away from this hospital as quickly as possible. "Shawn wait" she called on me from behind and ran up to me and grabbed my arm.

"She doesn't remember me. She doesn't know that we are married. Your coworker said that everything was fine! He didn't mention that she has memory lost" a tear escaped my eye. "I'm so so sorry Shawn. But she hit her head so hard that it affected her brain which caused all of this. Her memory is going to prove with time. I'm so so sorry" she said with an apologizing voice and then walked away.

I walked up to the vent machine and slammed my fist hard against its side. More tears rolled down my cheeks and I slide down with my back against the vent machine. My elbows resting on top of my knees and my face buried in my palms.

Why does this have to happen to me? It was this I was so scared for. And I got so happy when they said that she was okay when she woke up. And I came to this? My own wife doesn't even remember who I am.

I stayed there on the cold hospital floor for a long while before I decided to go home and bring Harper some clothes.

-
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It was around 9 pm when I walked in the hallways with a big bad over my shoulder. My body felt sore and I don't think that I can see her right now. It took a while to pack a few stuff for her, but I also stayed in the apartment for a while. Trying to get everything into my head. What will happen now? Will she live with me still? Is she going to move in with her parents? Her friends? Is she ever going to remember me or are our 3 years of marriage gone? Is our almost 9 years old friendship gone?

I walked into her hospital room to find her sleeping. I put down the bag on the ground at the end of the bed and sat down in the chair beside her bed.

I don't know how long I slept. It could have been just a few minutes or hours. But a poke on my shoulder woke me up. I looked up and saw Harper standing there, her arms crossed against her chest.

"Hi" I said sleepy and sat up properly in the chair. "How long have you been here?" She asked and tugged a strand of hair behind her ear.

I looked at the watch on the wall '10 pm' and then back at her "One hour ago"

"I am kinda hungry. So do you wanna follow me and see if the cafeteria is still open"
"Yeah, why not?" I push myself up from the uncomfortable chair. "And by the way, I brought you some clothes" I pointed at the bag "But you probably already have seen in sine you have your favorite lounge set on"

"Yeah, thanks for bringing the clothes" she rubbed her arm awkwardly "No worries. Shall we go?" I smiled at her "Yeah" she nodded and I put my hand on the lower part of her back but she quickly pushed my hand away. "Sorry, it's an old habit" I said and shoved my hands in my jeans pockets and we walked to the cafeteria in silence. Since she doesn't remember me, it's hard to know what to talk about.
-
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We sat down at a table and she had a trey with an apple, an orange juice and a little plastic bowl with yogurt and granola on top. "So you say that we are married?" she looked up at me and took a spoon of yoghurt. "Yeah, we have been married for 3 years" I pointed at the ring on her finger and she looked down at it as well.

"Oh, I'm sorry that I don't remember anything" "What do you even remember?"