Sorry for the misspellings and grammatical errors

Shawn

My eyes were red, swollen, and dry. I have been awake for the whole night and I have never let go of her hand. The only sound that is filling the cold hospital room is the heart beating machine and the breathing machine.

"I wish that we could switch places. So I am the one that is laying there on the bed and not you" I said with a low and tired voice.

The door to the room opened and one is the doctors entered. "Sir, I'm sorry to tell you this, but you have to leave now. You can come back later today"

"But-" I started but the doctor interrupted me "Sir, it's a good thing that you stayed the whole night. But you also need to rest and you can come back later today"

I nodded and put on my jacket and kissed Harper on her forehead "I love you"

I was actually planning to go to the studio today but right now I just don't have the energy. I know if I go to the studio I will not get anything done. I will just think if Harper and when I am thinking way too much I can't write anything or play anything. It's like someone have pressed the 'off' button.

I sent Andrew a text about what happened and that I'm not coming to the studio today. And that I don't know when I'm coming back.

I called a cab since the car is still on the road with one side smashed.

The apartment felt cold and empty. Always when Harper is home it's a warm feeling and it feels like home. Every time when she gets home before me, she runs up to me and almost threw herself on me when I get home. She always wraps her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist and she won't let go before she has kissed every inch of my face.

And even when she isn't home it's still a warm home feeling because I know that she will enter the door.

But now, it was a cold feeling. It didn't even feel like home for me. It felt like I was in a strangers apartent.

I walked into the bathroom to take a warm shower, trying to get my thoughts of something else.

My body felt sore and heavy and I don't even have the energy to go to the kitchen that is just a few steps away from the couch that I am laying on.

As I thought of everything that happened last night I got flashbacks from mine and Harper's prom night.

*flashback*
I have never been this nervous in my entire life. I can't believe that Harper actually said yes when I asked her if she wanted to go to prom with me. She has been heartbroken for a few weeks now. After that we have been closer friends. Closer than we ever have been. Today is the day when I am going to tell her how I feel. That I have feelings for her and that I have had it for a really long time now.

I looked at myself in the mirror in my car, trying to fix my tie. "You got this Shawn," I said to myself before I walked out of my boor and walked up to her porch and knocked on the door. I fixed my suit jacked and the door opened. And by my relief it was her older sister that opened the door. "Shawn come in. She is almost ready. You can wait here in the hall and I'll go and check if she is ready or not" she pulled me inside and I saw her older sister run upstairs and my heart beat faster by every second.

"Shawn," her sister said and I looked up the stairs to see Harper and she was breathtaking in her light pink dress.

"Hi" she smiled and tugged a strand of hair behind her ear when she stood in front of me. "Woah. Harper you look gorgeous. I mean you always do. But now, just wow"

Her eyes whided and her cheeks got a darker shade of pink behind her makeup. 'Shit, did I just said that out loud?' I thought to myself and I opened my mouth to say something but she interrupted me. "Thank you. You don't look bad yourself. You actually look pretty handsome in a suit" she smiled and helped me with my flower in my suit pocket.

"Oh shit, I almost forgot," I said and grabbed her writ and put on the wrist corsage that was matching with the flower that I had on my chest.

"Guys look over here" her sister said with a camera in her hands. I placed my one hand on Harper's hip and pulled her closer to me and she placed her hand on my chest and we both smiled at the camera and her sister took a few photos.

"Okay, I think that this is enough of photos. Go now before you get late" "Okay okay, we will" Harper laughed and hooked her arm with mine and we walked out to my car.

The prom night was one of my best proms I ever have been on. Me and Harper have never laughed so much with each other as we did now. We danced together for almost every song. Or well it was not dancing, it was more jumping up and down and singing out the lyric to the songs.

At one point during the night, she talked to her friends and stood on the other side of the school's sports arena. We changed looks a few times. All of sudden the music changes from 'See you again by Charlie Puth and Wiz Khalifa' to 'Thinking out loud by Ed Sheeran'

I walked over to Harper and asked if she wanted to dance with me. She gladly took my hand and we walked together to the center of the dance floor.

She wrapped her hands around my neck and I placed my hands on her waist and we swung around to the rhythm of the music.

I looked down at her and she smiled up to me. I spun her around so her back leaned against my chest and my arms were crossed over hers and our fingers were interviewed. Harper's smile dropped and I looked in the direction where her eyes were glued on. It was Philip dancing and making out with another girl.

"Hey" I spun her around and cupped her one cheek. "Don't be sad. He's a jerk you deserve so much more" "I know that he's a jerk but I just get so sad when I see him" a small tear slipped down her cheek and I was fast to wipe it off. "I know Harper, I know" I pulled her in for a hug and rocked us side to side and we stood like that until the song was finished.

"I'm sorry to say this but do you mind if you drive me home?" she looked up at me with glossy eyes. "No of course not" I whispered loud enough for her to hear me. I grabbed her hand and we walked out to my car.
-
-
"Shawn this isn't my home you know" she chuckled when I parked my car at a small beach. It was so small so only 10 people can fit there.

"I know," I said and turned off the engine. "But there is one thing I want to do" I smirked and jumped out of the car.

"Shawn what are you doing?" she looked at me while I took off my suit jacket and my tie. "I want to bath" "But we don't have any bathing clothes" "I know" I grinned at her and took off my shoes and my pants.

"Are you coming or what?" I asked while I slipped out of my dress shirt. I walked to the shore and I heard the car door close behind me which caused me to look behind me.

"Go into the water and don't look" even if it was dark outside I could tell that she was blushing. I did as I was told, walked into the cold water and didn't look behind me until I heard the water splash behind me.

There she stood with her arms crossed against her chest. Trying to cover up as much as possible. "It's ice-cold Shawn" she walked closer to me and I could see her body shake. "Oh common. It's not that cold" I chucked and swam out a little bit of further and so did Harper.

After a while the moon was high on the sky and the bright white light lit up her face. And I could see her teeth chatter. "Are you cold?" I asked with a cocky smirk. "J-just a l-little b-bit"

I swam closer to her and wrapped my arms around her and she didn't seem to mind at all. She hid her face in the crook of my neck and her hot breath from her nose hit the skin of my neck. We were quiet for a moment,  just enjoying each other's company.

"Shawn?" she asked and took up her head from my shoulder and looked at me in my eyes. "Why are you so nice to me?"

"Because I like you" my voice was shaky and I could feel the blood rush up to my cheeks. "Like, I really really like you. I know that this can sound weird and stupid, but I'm in love with you"

She was quiet for a moment and just looked at me. 'Shit, I shouldn't have said it'

She cupped my cheeks and whispered "I think I'm in love with you too" before her soft lips came in contact with mine. It was 10 times better then I have imagined. My one hand traveled up on her back and I pulled her even closer to me. "I have loved you for God knows long" I said when I pulled away from the kiss.

She just laughed before she kissed me passionately again.

*End of flashback*

I was now laying on the couch in a fetal position. One tear slipped down my cheek and landed on the couch under my face.

What if my own wife won't remember me? What am I suppose to do then?

All of this is my fault.