|chapter six:: valentine|

"HAPPY Valentines Day," I heard behind me after opening my locker to see a bouquet of my favorite flowers, Carnations, inside to now look at Nic holding a big box of chocolates in the shape of a heart and a rose with a wide grin on his face, "I meant to give it to you this morning, but I didn't see you."

My eyes go wide a bit before I turn to grab the flowers from my locker, so I could face put my attention on him, but watch him eye the flowers briefly, "Wow, Nic, you didn't have to do all this." I assured, taking the gifts from him, but looking up with a small smile, "But thank you."

He nodded as I eyed the gifts, "You hate it, don't you?"

I met his eyes again, shaking my head, "No, this is very thoughtful of you, I just... I just didn't expect it."

"I was going to ask you if you wanted it, but since I know you so well, I knew you were going to say no." He explained, "I'm sorry, I should have asked."

"No, don't worry about it, Nic," I assured, before pulling him into a hug and walking with him outside, "I just feel like shit now because I didn't get you anything." Honestly, I didn't think I was supposed to. I thought that with whatever we had going on didn't deserve chocolates and love letters. Did he get amnesia when I said I didn't want some sort of relationship?

He shrugged, "Don't worry about it, I like spoiling you anyways." I give a short laugh, stuck on the meaning of the gifts. This is what I get for even coming to school today. Though, I had nothing else better to do after going to Ander's chemo session for the first time. It was comforting since Guzman came with, though all we talked about was Lu's Reverse Valentines Day party. She throws one every year, and it was supposed to be canceled this year since her family is no longer supporting her like before, but she somehow managed to throw one and have guest bring their own alcohol. I would have never thought of that.

"So, what are you wearing?" I asked, "I'm assuming you don't have a dress in your closet?"

"Well, no, unless your dress is in there." He joked and I rolled my eyes, "I'm really excited to see how you're going to look tonight, though. I thought I seen you in everything, from nude to costume, but I think a suit would really top it all."

I give a fake laugh, "Well, be prepared because I'm going to look a thousand times better than you do in a suit."

"And I bet you're going to look a million times better without it," He implied lowly, leaning to my ear before stopping at the top of the steps, "I'll be counting down the hours, Addy."

"Keep dreaming, Nic." I walked away from him, but go towards Lu, who frowned at her phone as she leaned on the railing. I smiled at her anyways, "Happy Valentines Day, Lu."

She looked up and smiled back, glancing at the gifts, "Who gave you those? Niccoló?"

I glanced down at the gifts and nod, but hold them out to her, "You want them?"

She nods and takes the chocolate and rose, but raised a brow as I held onto the bouquet, "Why don't you want these, but you want the flowers? Don't you like him?"

"These are my favorite flowers and I don't know, it's more of a sexual feeling than anything else." I explained and a smirk instantly formed on her face.

"I wonder why that is," She hummed, "Maybe because you're hanging out with Ander again?"

I rolled my eyes again as we walked to my car, "I've always felt like this. Ander doesn't have anything to do with this."

"Or maybe he does," She argued, "Maybe you're not over him and you were hoping that these gifts were from him."

"Delusion isn't a good look on you, Lu, I suggest you stop watching Nancy Drew while you're still at the brink of sanity." I advised her and she chuckled, "And just because I'm on speaking terms with Ander doesn't mean I'm just going to get back together with him."

"I never said that it was, considering how he hurt you," She mentioned and I stayed quiet, already thinking back to that night.

"Polo said he did it...he said he did it, but it was an accident."

"And you knew this whole time?"

"I guess I'll know how you guys are when he gives you the necklace back," She suddenly said, motioning to my bare neck, "Or until Nic gives you a replacement."

I give her a look, "You know he still wears it?"

"The bracelet?" She questioned and I nodded, "Of course I know. I think you were the only one who didn't."

"But what is that supposed to mean?" I asked, furrowing my brows, "I gave it to him when we were together, but I took off my necklace when we broke up. He even knows about Nic and I hooking up."

"Maybe he's not over you, Ana, have you thought of that?" She retorted as we got inside my car, "Some people would rather still hold onto that slither of hope than give up completely." I placed my hand over where my necklace used to be and she eyed me, "Be honest, have you thought about it? Have you thought of getting back with him?"

I looked at her intently, not even knowing the answer to that question myself. Though I sighed, "He knew Polo killed Marina."

"Then why are you even talking to him?"

She doesn't know. She's oblivious as the most of this school is. I shrugged, "Because, regardless, I'm still trying to let it go and so is Guzman. Life is too short to hold onto shit, Lu."

"If you say so," She hummed, "I'm still convinced that it's because you are still madly in love with him and if he asked you to marry him right now, you'll scream yes. Even if he texted it to you."

I scoffed at her words as I drive out of the parking lot and to her house, "Don't you have a party to plan still?"

"The one you're helping me plan almost last minute?" She retorted a grin on her face as I rolled my eyes playfully, "Of course." I chose to leave my outfit at her house since that's where the party was and I wasn't much for traveling. It was sort of difficult to find me a suit in a short time, but thankfully I managed. When the party was starting, people were already quick to pile inside, dressing to Lu's occasion. I felt a bit under dressed as I watched girls come in with Tuxedos like Lu wore, but after my second round of booze, I started not to care.

"What are you doing?" I heard someone asked me as I sat on the steps. I look up lazily to see Ander in a very see through top and tight jeans, "You seem lonely."

I chuckled lowly, "I'm actually closing my eyes and counting to ten so I can open them and hopefully see that this bourbon is a martini."

He smiled and sat next to me, "Having fun?"

I shrugged, "I guess," He raised a brow at me, "Parties just aren't any fun for me anymore."

"What's changed?"

"Everything," I sighed, finishing off my cup. "I believe a Happy Valentines Day is in order."

"Yeah, Happy Valentines Day." He responded, though we said it to each other this morning during his session, "You liked the flowers?"

I furrowed my brows at him, "Those were from you?"

"Yeah," He laughed lightly. Of course he would remember, even though I only told him once when we were passing a flower shop in the summer. And of course he would remember my locker combination.

I smiled at his actions, "I thought you weren't going to come," I claimed, changing the topic, "You seemed intent on not coming." And he did, especially when Guzman asked him about it, saying he wasn't going to waste what could be his last days on earth at this party specifically. I'm not going to get used to that. I then raised a brow at him, "What changed your mind?"

He then stared at me for a moment, no words shared until he cleared his throat, "I- uh, I couldn't pass up the opportunity to see you in a suit," He grinned, eyeing me still, "And I'm impressed."

"So you would rate it a ten out of ten?" I wondered and he hummed, tapping his chin lightly.

"I don't know, maybe a six." He told me and I scoffed before stepping down the stairs to stand in front of him.

"This," I motioned my hands down my body, "This is no six."

"Okay maybe a seven and a half," I gasped at him, causing him to chuckle, "The pants are throwing me off."

I glanced down at the slightly oversized pants, frowning up at him, "It's my mothers, okay? It was kind of hard find a suit to fit a women last minute."

"Well, I think you look stunning," I suddenly turned my head at the voice only to see Nic coming towards us, a smirk on his face as he glanced at Ander, who briefly looked away from us. Nic held up a bottle of Hennessy, "Sorry I'm late, but I've come bearing gifts."

"And so did everyone else at the party I believe." I interjected and he laughed a little before looking at Ander.

"What's up, Ander? How've you been?" He asked Ander, causing him to meet Nic's eyes before forcing a smile.

"Been doing okay, thanks for asking," Ander bluntly responded, getting off of the steps to grab the bottle from Nic, "Thanks for the drink, Nicholas."

Nic gave a forced smile back before Ander walked off and he faced me, "When did that happened?"

"When did what happen?"

"The laughing and joking with each other," Nic added on, "When did you guys become close again?"

"The other day, I don't know," I shrugged, glancing down at my empty glass, "Wanna get me a refill?"

He eyed me, though continued to take the glass from my hand before walking off. I watched him disappear into the crowd, but look around to see Ander laughing with Omar, causing me to smile involuntarily before I looked away and rubbed my forehead. God, what was I doing?

"You need to lie to them, Adriana," Guzman told me, but I was focused on what just happened- all that blood. God, what was I doing? "Adriana," Guzman called out, grabbing both sides of my face with his hands so I'd meet his eyes, "You need to focus, okay?"

"How can I focus right now, Guzman?" I whimpered, my bottom lip quivering as I tried to hold back my tears, "Polo is dead."

"Adriana-"

"Polo's dead and it's because of me, Guzman," I felt tears slid down my cheeks. So much for trying to hold them back. Guzman pulled me into him, hugging me tight, "It's all my fault, Guzman. I killed him."

{author's note:: this might be a bit longer than the usual ten chapters like my other stories in the series, i can just feel it

and for this chapter, i was listening to the youngblood album on repeat and the first song was Valentine lol}