chapter twenty-nine / eeship-gu
For You
(029)

My heart leaps into my throat when the clanging of metal against metal breaks up the deafening silence of the room.

He's here.

The door slams open and before I can get a good look at Yoongi, he's being shoved into the room. He immediately stumbles and loses his balance. I position myself to break his fall as best as I can without the use of my arms as they're tied behind me.

The impact is still rough and I can hear him gasp when he lands. When my eyes graze over his body, that's when I see how fragile he is, and it surprises me that falling didn't break him like a glass being smashed.

"Yoongi!" I cry out. His body is bruised and battered, and all I see is the dark crimson stain of blood. I want to reach out and brush his hair out of his eyes, to hold him, but I can't and it's driving me insane. His eyes hold so much fear and I can tell by the way he stares into the distance, that those tired eyes have seen far too much.

I barely notice the boss behind me because all I can focus on right now is Yoongi, but then I feel the restraint on my wrist being undone. When my hands are free, I ignore the urge to rub away the stiffness in my wrists, and instead, I wrap my arms around Yoongi to hold him up.

"Clean him up," the boss instructs before leaving the room and closing the door behind him. A basin full of clean water and towels appear on a table next to the chairs we had previously been bound to. I notice some bottles and tubes; I'm guessing it's full of ointments and medicines. It's sick that he's patching us up just to tear us apart again, but for now, it's all I can do for Yoongi. Time is running out for him and I have to do anything to buy him more of it. This is the first step: get him off of death's door.

His head starts to roll back on his neck as he drifts from consciousness. "Come on, Yoongi. You can't sleep yet." He groans when I start to lift him off of my lap. I try to be as careful as possible as I drag him closer to the chair in the middle of the room. I prop him against it, knowing from the sweat breaking out on my body just from dragging him there, that I'm not strong enough right now to lift him into the chair.

"I'm going to get you cleaned up. I-I have to take off your clothes, okay?" He doesn't respond, and I wonder if that's because he's too tired to make any noise, or if he passed out. Even under the circumstances, I feel my hands tremble when I reach out to unbutton his shirt.

As I start on the first button, Yoongi suddenly snaps his eyes open and grabs my wrists. I'm startled by how quickly his movements were and how sudden. I yelp when I start to fall back, but Yoongi holds me upright, keeping an uncomfortable grasp on me. He pulls me closer to him, and I can clearly see the crazed look in his eyes.

Once he realizes it's me, his face softens, and so does his grip on me, but I can still feel the tremors in his body, and I hear a soft whimper leave his throat. "S-Sorry," he manages to choke out before letting go of me and looking away. He slumps against the chair behind him and his body looks like his mind has given up.

"You don't have to apologize. I'm sorry I startled you." His face twists up into an emotion that I can only describe as despair. I reach out to stroke his hair, and it doesn't go unnoticed how he flinches away from my touch. I freeze, my hand suspended in the air. He looks at me apologetically before taking my hand in his own and bringing it to cup his cheek. He leans into my touch and I can feel a tear pass my fingers. He turns his face to leave a kiss on my palm, and I slowly, oh so carefully, reach up to brush his hair out of his eyes. His hair that used to be a vibrant rose gold, has now turned white like snow on the peak of a mountain, the tips holding onto the previous color he had just before the boss took him away from me, appearing as if he dipped the ends in a dusty pink.

"Help me take off your clothes." He only nods in response as he starts to unbutton his shirt, his face scrunching up in pain with every movement he makes. I hold him upright to slip the shirt down his arms. I try not to stare at his chest, reminding myself that this is only for me to clean his wounds and treat them, but that doesn't stop the heat I feel in my ears from rising.

I wring the water out of the towel from the basin. I give him a warning look before I start, communicating with my eyes that I'm sorry for the pain he's about to feel, and that he needs to prepare for it. I'm careful when I remove the dried blood from around his cuts, but that doesn't stop his groans, whimpers, and cries. I feel guilty for doing this, even if the immediate pain will later help him.

It feels as if an eternity has passed. I finished undressing him, cleaning his wounds, and applying as much salve and ointments as possible. He passed out at some point because of the pain, and all I could think in the ear shattering silence that ensued, was if this was even close to the pain he had to endure because of the boss, then I have to make sure that monster's hands never come near him again.

He holds onto me like a child as he sleeps, and I hold onto him with such a fear of losing him that the dread makes me sick to my stomach. A burning resolve runs through my veins as I calm him through the night, every time he wakes up screaming and sobbing for the boss to stop hurting him. To see Yoongi so vulnerable, so weak, so damaged, I hate it so much that it fills me with blinding rage, and all I can think when I wipe the tears from his eyes, is how badly I want to protect him because that's what he's always done for me. I want him to be safe, I want him to be able to sleep without monsters haunting his dreams, I want him to laugh and smile his infectious smile. How dare I take that from him, how dare the boss take it from him. Because we both did such an unjustifiable thing, neither of us can be forgiven, and I don't care if something bad happens to me, as long as he pays for taking Yoongi's happiness.

Yoongi wakes up every once in a while, though not for long. He usually only keeps his eyes open long enough to make sure I'm still next to him and that I'm still safe before drifting back to sleep. This time though, he manages to hold a conversation.

"Thank you," he rasps out, staring intensely into my eyes.

I smile. "You would've done the same for me."

My response brings a frown to his face. "I don't want you to do anything else. If he comes back-"

"If he comes back, he's taking me."

"Over my dead body." This is the most energy I've seen from him since he came back, and I'm taken aback by the strength in his gaze despite the weakness in his body.

"That won't be too hard, because if you go again, you will be dead!" I argue. I know that nothing I've said or could say would deter him.

"Wren, please. Promise me you won't let him take you. It can only be me. It has to be me!" His eyes plead with me to promise him something I could never do.

I shake my head. "I don't want to make a promise I can't keep."

Yoongi's fist comes down hard on the floor and I jump in his arms. "Dang it, Wren. I don't want to see you hurt!"

This is when I grow as frustrated and angered as him. "And you think I don't feel the same way about you? You expect me to sit back while he tears you apart and then patch you up just to take another hit for me?" I scoff, "I can't watch you die for me, Yoongi!"

Yoongi opens his mouth to say something, but the familiar sound of the door being unlocked strikes both of us with dread, and any thoughts he previously had were quickly forgotten. I see the panic in his eyes, and his whole body is showing evidence of all the scars that's been left on his mind by the way he shakes uncontrollably. Yet, he still fights the fear within him, and pushes himself off the ground, walking right back to the place he hates the most.

Before the door opens, I quickly rush to my feet, grab the basin off the table, and raise it above me. I throw it over Yoongi's head, and immediately, the glass shatters on the impact, and Yoongi falls to the ground, presumably unconscious.

The boss stands in the doorway, and I feel hot with anger just from looking at him. I manage to force my words out in a calm demeanor. "Yoongi still needs to nap, so let's play together instead."

Before the boss takes me out of the room, I take one last glance at Yoongi who is sprawled out on the floor. "I'm sorry," I whisper to him, "I hope you can forgive me."