chapter nineteen / shipgu
What Am I to You
(019)

I wake up to birds singing and the warmth of the sun kissing my skin. When I don't feel Namjoon beside me I start to panic, but when I open my eyes, it doesn't take me long to find him. He sits beside me still, his knees hugged to his chest. The soft breeze blows a few strands of his bright blonde hair around.

I sit up and lean my head against his shoulder. He turns his head slightly to face me and smiles, warming me up better than the sun.

"Good morning," he whispers softly. I hum in response and press a quick kiss to his cheek.

I notice a leather journal and a pen in his hand. "What're you doing?"

He quickly closes the book. "Nothing important," he simply replies, clearly not wanting me to have a real answer to my question. I frown at him, causing Namjoon to sigh. "I was writing a song about you." He doesn't meet my eyes. For some reason he seems embarrassed to admit that to me, but I think it's extremely sweet.

I gasp. "Can I see?"

"No," he quickly, and rather bluntly tells me. He notices the hurt look on my face, so he quickly adds, "it's not finished yet. I'll show you then, okay?" I smile and nod my head, satisfied that one day I'll get to see it. Even though I have no idea what he wrote, just the fact that he felt inspired to write something about me is enough to have me floating in the clouds.

"I've already talked to the others. I was thinking we could do something fun today," Namjoon suggests, "I think all of us could use a change of pace."

I nod my head and smile, agreeing with his statement. During this whole ordeal, it's been hard to take time to ourselves. I almost feel guilty if I'm not spending every day to get closer to breaking out of this place. We're only kids though, kids that have seen and been through too much. Just as much as I need to keep the limitations of my friends in mind, I need to remember mine too, and there's no doubt in my mind that I've surpassed what my mind and body is able to handle. If I'm going to get out of this place, I can't push myself, no matter how badly I want to get back to the real world.

Suddenly, a strong gust of wind pushes past us, causing loose strings of my moonlight silver hair to fly in front of my vision. Six bright blue streaks of light swirl magically in the air as bodies start to materialize.

"Noona, why did you leave?" Jimin questions, the skin between his forehead creased in concern.

I smile and chuckle lightly at Jimin's sweetness. "I just wanted to get some fresh virtual air for a while." Jimin seems to think my comment about the air was funny since his nose scrunches up cutely.

"We came to see if you two would like to join us," Hoseok beamed, "apparently there's a festival going on in the main city of Elysium to celebrate the day Yugen started as a gaming company."

I look to Namjoon with a pleading smile; I've already decided to go, I'm silently waiting to get his answer. Namjoon laughs breathlessly as he shakes his head. "Sure. I think we could all use a break."

We go back to Yani's house to gather our things and get ourselves cleaned up to go to the festival. Of course we asked if her and Kai wanted to join us, but she said that they both needed to stay home to recover. I could understand their decision. They looked rough and exhausted. Rest would do them good.

While getting cleaned up and changing my clothes, I notice small changes about my body. When I first came into Elysium, my limbs were small and dainty. I hadn't changed my appearance when coming into the game, so I had the same weak body that I have in the real world due to my inability to be active like other people. I run my hands down my arms and thighs, noticing they're more toned and have more definition. The more you do in games and other things here, the more you "power up". When your body changes like this, your avatar is better able to lift things, it can run faster, and withstand more attack damage. I suppose this is a good thing, but that doesn't change the strange feeling I get when I look into the mirror. It's like looking at a complete and total stranger. This doesn't feel like my body and this doesn't feel like my own skin.

I notice that my hair has grown quite a bit too. I wonder if this is how long my hair is in the real world, or if mama keeps it trimmed to make it feel like I'm not being let go.

I slip on a simple, beige, button up shirt and a pair of distressed jeans. The clothes hide the colors of black and blue that bruise my body.

A knock sounds softly from the other side of the door, causing me to jump and quickly look away from my reflection. I answer for the person to come in, resulting in Yoongi's head sheepishly peeking through the crack in the door. The fact that I gave him permission to come in doesn't take away his hesitation. I laugh and wave at him, encouraging him to continue, almost like giving a shy dog a treat to get it to come to you.

As soon as he sees I'm okay with him being in here, he steps completely into the room. "The guys wanted me to see if you were ready yet," he explains with his lips in a pout. "We're not rushing you, but hurry up."

I take one last glance at the mirror, slump my shoulders and sigh, not being satisfied with the image before me, but since there's not really anything I can do to change that, I finally give up and decide to go. When I walk to Yoongi, he gives me an annoyed look. "Sorry I took so long," I apologize, thinking that's the reason for the look he's giving me.

He shakes his head. "That's not why I gave you that look. It's just," Yoongi pauses slightly, his expression looking utterly perplexed, "you can't possibly think you don't look beautiful, can you?"

I stand there with my mouth agape. I wasn't expecting such a comment from Yoongi. "I- uh, well I've never seen myself as anything special, but I feel weird when I look in the mirror. I don't quite feel like myself." I look down at my hands and tangle my fingers together nervously.

Yoongi nods in response, seeming to understand my dilemma. "Well we don't want to be late. We should get going."

When we arrive in Elysium, I can hardly believe my eyes. The streets are so decorated that I almost can't recognize this place. I feel like a child going to Disney world for the first time. The air is filled with joy, color, and magic. Flags, banners, and lanterns bring a beautiful saturation of colors to the city; deep and bold colors of green, red, blue, purple, and yellow are everywhere.

People of all different sizes and colors flood the main roads, which are obviously closed down due to the festival being held here. I try to stop myself from staring and gawking at the different outfits and hair I see. Because of the occasion, most of Elysium's players are using this as a chance to go all out. I see people with sparkles painting their cheeks, hair dyed every color of the rainbow, outfits you would expect to see in some sort of fashion show. The extra effort everyone put into their appearance makes me feel like I stand out with my overwhelming plainness.

I'm snapped out of daze and awe when Yoongi grabs my wrist and pulls me excitedly to a shop on the street. "Wha-"

"We're getting our hair done," he states matter of factly. A bell chimes to signal our arrival in the salon. The place smells of hair dying chemicals, hair spray, and singed hair.

A woman with half pink and half blonde hair, a nose ring, and ridiculously tall platform shoes smiles and welcomes us. "Welcome to Spring's salon, do you two have an appointment?"

I was ready to answer, saying that we were just a walk-in, but before I can, Yoongi speaks up, "Yes, I made an appointment for Min Yoongi and Yun Wren."

"Ah, yes, you're names are right here on the list," she informs us, looking down at the holopad built into the counter she stands behind, "you can follow me."

Before we follow her, I look to Yoongi, my face displaying my confusion and surprise. Before I can even ask when he made us an appointment and why, he turns to me with a smirk and says, "Changing your hair is a good cure to anything. I thought you'd feel better if we did this."

I break out into a grin. Yoongi shows his affection in the most reserved and subtle way imaginable, but somehow, that makes it even more special.

We sit in different chairs, cutting capes put around us, our hair both washed and clean, ready to be transformed. Yoongi gets a trim and changes his hair color to a blush rose. I decide to change my hair from silver to lavender. I twirl my long hair in my fingers. It's grown so long that it reaches to my lower back. Maybe it's time to try something new. I've never had my hair short, so just the thought of getting more than a trim scares the crap out of me, but this is a virtual world, so if I want I can make my hair long again with the press of a button. My mind is made; I'm going to cut it off.

"Are you sure, sweetie?" The man inquired with a skeptical look as he holds the pair of scissors against my hair. I take a deep breath and nod my head. I close my eyes when I hear the snipping of his scissors, and the feeling of my hair falling off of my back makes me want to lurch. Even if it can easily be fixed, it still makes my nerves go haywire.

I don't open my eyes again until he stops cutting at strands of my hair and tells me he's finished. When he spins my chair around to face the mirror, butterflies fly anxiously in my stomach. When I see my reflection, though, I'm pleased with what I see, unlike before. My hair falls just above my shoulders now, and the color makes me think of lilac skies. Before, my hair made me think of midnight, but now I look like the dawn of the day, a fresh start, a new beginning. It's refreshing, just like the crisp air of an early morning.

"Wren," Yoongi breathes, his eyes widened and a slight blush paint his cheeks, matching his newly colored hair.

I giggle involuntary, but with Yoongi's reaction I couldn't stop myself. "You like it?" I flip my hair, loving how light and weightless it feels.

"It really suits you," he smiles ever so slightly.

"Thanks! You don't look too bad yourself," I pay back his compliment, motioning to his new hair.

After we get our hair styled, we pay our hairdressers and meet back up with the boys. Taehyung and Jungkook excitedly tell me about the arcade they went to and how they basically destroyed the others at every game. Every game except for, of course, Mario Kart. That game belongs to Jin and Hoseok.

"I worked up quite an appetite," Jin says, patting his stomach. Since we've been stuck in Elysium, a new feature in the game causes us to experience hunger like in the real world so our health bar won't get too low. "Let's find a place to get some food." Jin suggests. This is easier said than done. Food trucks, bars, and restaurants are everywhere. With such a variety of food, it's almost impossible for me to choose. Good thing Taehyung seems to know what he wants.

"I heard this place is almost exactly like Panda Express!" He points excitedly to a restaurant called Golden City. Before we can even open the door and step inside, a large holopad appears on the side of the tallest buildings in the city. I expect the usual man that makes announcements, but he isn't the one that shows up on the screen. The man has ginger hair and eyes that look wild, and from the looks of his unkept beard, I doubt he's working for Yugen. All the loud chatter and the quick hustle of the streets comes to an immediate halt, all eyes are on the screens.

"You have been lied to," the man cries out, anger and insanity clear in his voice, "I am here to remove the veil Yugen has put over your eyes!" I look to the other boys, for some reason thinking that they would have answers. I notice that Jungkook looks nervous and unsettled. His jaw is clenched and his nostrils are flared. I don't have a good feeling about this either.

"We are being trapped here by Yugen, but we can have freedom. Dying in Elysium does not mean dying in the real world. If we die here, the shackles Yugen have put on us can be released. I have come to free you all, and what better opportunity to do it than a festival where most of Elysium's population is gathered into one place?"

My jaw drops. "Is he gonna attempt a mass murder suicide?" I wonder aloud.

"Yugen watches everything that goes on here like a hawk, how has this guy even gotten this far?" Namjoon questions nervously.

"Maybe it has something to do with what the hacker did," Jimin reasons, "maybe they tried to stop him already but they can't."

I hate to say it, but that's definitely a possibility. After the hacker trapped us here, Yugen hasn't had full control of this place. It's not too far fetched. This guy could be a hacker too and he just took advantage of the situation. Why does he think Yugen is the one trapping us here, though? How would the company possibly benefit from such an act? Maybe this guy has just completely lost his mind, his circumstances maybe being too much for him to bear.

"This is a prerecorded message. I am among you all, but I no longer have this appearance. A bomb is strapped to my chest, and once it goes off, it will set off a chain reaction of other bombs I have placed throughout the city. Do not be worried, I will free us all!"

No one takes his advice not to worry. I don't think anyone is interested in buying what he's selling. Panic sets in and chaos breaks out. People try to escape by teleporting to a different location, but this guy must've done something to stop us from doing that. My mind races to find a solution. What options do we have? There's not much time to think, and there's so many people with their lives at stake.

Jungkook looks helpless and guilty. His expression makes my heart sink. "I probably have enough time to hack my way through his defenses just to get us out of here."

Hoseok shakes his head. "We can't leave everyone here to die. Isn't there another way?"

"If we stop the suicide bomber, we can prevent the chain reaction of other bombs going off," Yoongi suggests. The plan sounds great, but a loud boom goes off in the distance. The air smells like a barbecue, it feels like ice picks are plunged into both of my ears at the same time. White light flashes and there's an intense heat. The shock wave pushes me to the ground and my ears start ringing. Even though sounds are muffled, I can still make out the screams and cries of pain. I try my best to regain my senses to make sure the boys are all okay.

Besides being disoriented and having a few scrapes from flying building materials and falling to the ground, they seem to be intact. There's not time anymore, we have to figure out what to do now or half of Elysium's population will be wiped out.

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A/N -

I'm so sorry that after a month of not updating, I return with this garbage. I've been so tired with work and school, and not to mention, I had serious writers block. I would open this chapter every day to work on it and only be able to write a few sentences, if anything at all. But then, author-nim thought 'let's spice things up by making things go boom!' And thus, an annoying cliffhanger was born.

On another note, my queen goddess baby cakes, Emma, made me some sick new covers for magic shop and meraki!!! I love them so much, she's literally the queen of UWU visuals ahhhh swetaer if you see this, here's your daily reminder to stay hydrated, not stay up too late, and not to skip meals. I hope school isn't stressing you out too much babe 😤😭❤️💓💕

Also, here's YOUR daily reminder to stay hydrated, not stay up too late, and not to skip your meals. Me and your biases love you so much and we really want you to be healthy and happy so please take good care of yourself or we'll have to come fight you.

Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Peace out my fluff clouds ✌🏻