// CHAPTER FOUR:: fumble of words //

"A party?" Roxanne asked her daughter as they sat in the kitchen, "You want to go to a play and then to a party?"

"I might go to the party," Audrey assured, watching her mother chop up pepper for the spaghetti, "I just wanted to let you know if I made up my mind."

"Audrey, I don't think-"

"I'm not going to put myself in a situation where I relapse." She quickly stated, "I know how to control myself."

"A party itself is a situation," Her mother huffed, "Everyone is going around drinking and doing drugs. How can you avoid that?"

"Harry's party isn't like that," She tried to convince, but her mother shook her head.

"Audrey, we lived across from the Bingham's and that boy for a very long time. I think I know what kind of parties Harry likes to throw," Roxanne stared and grabbed the onions, "Harry is a terrible influence-"

"You never thought that before."

"Yeah, because he wasn't like that. Not until-" Her mother stopped her movements and glanced up at her daughter, "Not until you left."

Audrey bit her bottom lip, "I'll only be there for thirty minutes if I go."

"Yeah, 'if you go'. What are you even going to do? Harry is going to be your only friend at that party and what if he leaves you by yourself?" She asked and shook her head again, "I can't leave your life in his hands. Not again..not anymore."

"Mom, please." She begged, "I'm trying to be normal again-"

"Then go to the park," She exclaimed and slammed the knife down, "Go paint like you used to, go bike riding or something. That's normal, but going to a party with drunk teens and loose girls is not," She then sighed and eyed her child as they locked eyes, "You, Audrey Stewart, are not normal and you're not going to that party. I do not need to lose my daughter again."

Audrey hesitantly nodded at her mother, "I'm going to be late for the play."

"Wait," Her mother said before holding up her key, "I'm sorry about this morning, okay?"

"It's fine," Audrey shrugged and took the set of keys out of her mother's hands, "Thank you."

Roxanne hummed as her daughter walked out of the kitchen, "I'll see you after the play, right?"

"Yeah," Audrey answered as she grabbed her windbreaker and headed out of the house. It took hours for her to decide on whether or not she wanted to go to the play, but as she sat in her room, staring at the same four plain walls, she made up her mind. She needed to get out of the house and she knew the party would be a stretch, which is why she agreed to not go, like her mother insisted.

Audrey rebelled against things her mother would tell her to do or not to do, but for some reason, she chose to listen and that's because she knew that she might relapse tonight if she went. She didn't want to go back there, to the rehab or down that dark path. She didn't believe she could handle it a second round.

She walked down the porch steps and saw Harry's car was gone, assuming that he stayed after school for the play before she got into her mom's car. She decided to turn the radio to prevent her mind from wondering to a weird place which was Harry.

She was ashamed to say that he was all she thought about while in rehab; his ghost and her memories of him kept her sane. She missed him and their relationship so much because he was the only one to recognize for more than what she was assumed to be. She could never tell him that, though, he was too cocky for his own good.

It wasn't long before she reached the school, choosing to leave the car in the parking lot since there wasn't any space to park the car. She quickly parked and got out only to see a couple by the back doors. She rolled her eyes as she could tell they were practically trying to swallow each other whole.

She wanted to avoid that situation, but didn't want to walk all the way around the school to the front entrance, so she huffed and kicked the rocks on the ground before walking toward them.

She shoved her hands in her pockets, coming to them as a dark figure seeing as there wasn't much light except the wall light that the couple stood under. Audrey squinted her eyes, trying to configure the couple, but as she got closer she heard the girlfriend whimper out a name, "Oh, Harry."

Audrey almost choked on her saliva and tripped over her shoes to try and turn around, but she was already too close and she didn't need anymore attention on her. When her footsteps were heard, the girlfriend, Kelly Aldrich, turned her head from her boyfriend, Harry, and eyed Audrey.

She gently gave Harry a shove to pay attention to the olive skinned girl, watching him lift his head from her neck and to Audrey, his eyes widened in shock.

"Audrey," He announced, slightly taken aback as he stood in front of her with his hair disheveled and his voice hoarse, "You came? I didn't think- I didn't think you make it."

Audrey shrugged her shoulders, "Couldn't miss you making a fool of yourself," She claimed and  felt Kelly watching her, but not with a hateful gaze- more of a 'will you have the courage to look me in the eyes after what you did' look. And to her dismay, Audrey turned to look at her, "Hey, Kelly."

"Audrey." She plainly greeted, "Heard you came back to school today. How was your first day?"

"It was tough, but-," Audrey responded but cut herself off as a pungently and familiar smell came back, "I thought they had got rid of the smell.."

Kelly and Harry sniffed around and grimaced before covering their noses, "Yeah, they did." Harry assured, his eyes peaking out of his costume before the back door swung open and Cassandra Pressman came into view.

"There you are," She stated to Harry and Kelly, eyeing all three of them, but did a double take on Audrey and smiled, "Nice to see you again, Audrey. Sorry I didn't see you today."

"It's fine," Audrey nodded.

"What, student boy president isn't enough for you? Now you're hall monitor too, Cassandra?"

"We're on in a minute, Harry," She explained and Audrey watched Cassandra grimace at the smell as well, "Is that..?"

"Yeah," They all said, feeling nauseated as they stood longer outside with the smell roaming. Audrey clamped her nose, her voice sounding nasally, "I think we should head inside."

Cassandra stepped back and allowed them all to come inside before she did. Kelly and Cassandra hurried up toward the backstage to get ready and Audrey was about to walk off toward the rows, but Harry grabbed her arm.

She jumped at the odd, yet familiar touch, before relaxing a bit, "You should go get ready."

"I know, I just wanted to know if.." He trailed and she furrowed her thick brows.

"Wanted to know what, Harry?"

He stared at her momentarily, taking in her mop of curls that hung down past her shoulder and her plump lips that had a bit of tint on them from her chapstick. He shook his briefly and glanced down at his shoes, you can't do this again.

When he looked back up at her, she still had a curious look on her face, so he cleared his throat, "Uh, I was wondering if-"

The sudden flicker of lights distracted him as it signaled the play was starting. He mumbled a curse to himself and she chuckled, "You should go. Just tell me after, okay Bingham?"

He hesitantly nodded as he watched her lips curl into a smile, her arm retreat from his grip, and her figure going off into the distance. He groaned to himself and walked on stage as he questioned why he couldn't just say to her; I was wondering if you still felt the way you did before you left?