II.
1921

"You don't have to stay, I'm fine." Ada said to her cousin, who sat on the floor with Karl.

Maggie arrived late last night. She had drove down, leaving her daughter with her cousin's wife. Esme was one to complain, so Margaret was surprise to hear no protest from her. She had drove at five and some how ended up reaching Ada's at eleven. She had made a few pit stops and then a visit to the club before burdening her sister.

Her cousin smelt the liquor but she was happy not to see Maggie completely off-her-head pissed, just not so happy that she drove to her flat in that state.

"Well you may be fine but I wouldn't be, not knowing if you were fine or not." Maggie answered.

"That made no sense." Ada muttered, "What about Carrie?"

Maggie remained smiling for Karl the whole conversation, "Believe me, mum was overjoyed that she could take her granddaughter. But I did tell her that Esme owned me a favour so y'know." She took a pause as spoke to Karl, "I'm not here that long anyway."

"How are you doing?" She asked.

"Shouldn't I be the one asking you that." Margaret teased lightly.

"Maggie, I know I have been gone a while and we may not speak as much as we used to but... I still know you and... how you cope." She was very careful we how she spoke and how she approached the subject. There were occasions in the past when her cousin would, in a way, blow up.

"I don't know what you are on about. I cope well but I have nothing that I need to cope with at the moment. All is well." Even when Karl wandered away, in his own little world, Maggie stayed on the floor, fidgeting with own of Karl's toys.

"Maggie, I'm only trying to help, I know ever since-"

"Thank you for your concern, dear cousin but I'm great, really."

They sat in silence for a little bit, as Ada sipped her tea and Maggie still sat on the floor. She wasn't one for talking what happened. The family slowly started to stopped asking and trying to help. Ada was always worried for the woman, who she still saw as this young girl.

Ada broke the silence first, "Sorry I brought it up." But Maggie didn't reply, staring down. Ada didn't see the tear that fell on the old carpet.

"Well, you need to get to work and from what I've seen, you need to stock your cupboards, so I'll take that errand." Maggie stood her, dusting of her skirt. She put on a smile as she took the empty teacups off the table.

"You don't have to." Ada whispered. She didn't want help, but she barely had time these day to feed herself or clean up. Her main priority was Karl and Maggie saw that. She hated the help but she knew she needed it.

Karl babbled in the background as Ada rose from her seat too. "Don't worry about it."

"I'll call the nanny while you go out." Ada helped Margaret with the dishes.

"No, no, I'll mind him. It's not like I can't take care of a child." Maggie teased.

"I know, just don't want to burden you with work on your holiday."

"Don't be silly." There was never a moment when Ada doubted that the woman next to her was Polly Gray's daughter. They were so alike. The same glare, the same selflessness, the same walk, the same caring nature.

She was every good part of Polly but every bad part of her father. Ada didn't remember much about her aunt's husband but she had heard stories from family members while they were pissed drunk.

"Karl isn't work, you don't have to worry about burdening me with work. I'm the one burdening you, barging in here." She smiled at Ada. And Karl came in, hugging his mother's legs, "and plus, Karl is less work than Carissa."

With that, Ada hit her arm, giving her a scowl before turning to his son, "Well you know her, loves to put on a dramatic show." She defended.

The little girl once lay at the bottom of the stairs for lord knows how long with jam smeared across her face, the stairs and walls. Maggie had came home to a 'bloodbath'. She did this just so she didn't have to go to church.

Ada laughed, lifting Karl to her hip, "Thank you, Mags." She muttered, as Karl her his head on the woman's shoulder.

Ada then left with Karl to get ready for work, while Maggie carried on with the dishes. She made up a list in her head of the errands she had to run.

By the time Maggie finished the dishes, Ada came down the stairs all dressed with Karl on her hip. "I left a shopping list and money there on the table as well as the nanny's number and my work's."

"Okay, now go before you are late." And with that, Ada hugged her before rushing out the door. Karl was sat on the floor played with his toys again. He was dressed so Margaret had to get a move on.

—

The patients and doctors watched as she ran out of the building. She sprinted around the building before doubling over, throwing up her lunch. She stood up again, looking around for any on-lookers, and thankfully no one saw her.

Another reason for Maggie's sudden visit to London was to see a doctor. Hoping the ones in London would be smarter she had thought. For the past five years or so, she had been prescribed medication for all types of things and recently, her doctor had stopped prescribing things to her. So she ventured to London after some fights with a few doctors and nurses back home.

So now was rushing out of the hospital, away from the dull building and overwhelming smell. She never liked hospitals. Who did? But it made her physically more sick just being near one.

She reached into her pocket, pulling out a blue bottle. She looked again for anyone watching and poured out half of whatever was left in the bottle, onto her the back of her hand.

She knew she shouldn't but she didn't care at that moment in time. Everything just felt better when she was high. She wiped her nose and walked down the streets.

Next thing she knew some had grabbed on to her forearm. "I've been looking for you all mornin'."

"Ah, Thomas, my cousin." She sneered, pulling her arm out of his grip, "only you would discharge yourself in this condition."

"You are my lift home." Tom said. He already knew were the car was. She had stole the family car without anyone knowing. Polly only found out the next morning.

They arrived at the end of a busy street, where the car was lazily parked. She went to the driver seat, even when Thomas followed her, "I'm driving."

"No you aren't." She said, but he remained in front of her, "don't make me hurt you more than you already are." She did end up shoving him lightly out of the way. They both got in after her car door hit him when she swung it open.

An hour and they were in the country side away form the city. They were sat in silence the whole sixty minutes, before the brown-haired girl spoke "Y'know, you look kind of creepy like this, like your dead."

Tommy didn't answer, instead he smoke his cigarette.

The two weren't the closest. Before the war, they weren't the close either. She didn't understand why she wasn't as close with him as she was with her other cousins. Neither knew why.

They didn't hate each other, they still looked out for each other, but they just avoided each other's company. Polly hated it, and so did Mrs. Shelby before she passed.

After the war, it was the same but they were more honest with how they felt about each other. So now, they would just tell one another exactly what they thought of the latter. She thought, now that it was like this, it was more easier to be in the same room. Tom knew what Maggie thought of him and vice versa without either feeling guilty for their opinions.

Some nights a drunk Maggie Gray would start a fight with her cousin, just listing everything annoying about him to his face. She'd shout in his face and hit him until she was dragged away. He took it, he knew she was horrible when she was on the drink. Like her father and his father before him.

But just because they didn't have the best relationship, didn't mean he didn't like Carissa.

Carissa Gray was Thomas's weak spot. He cared for her the most everyone.

Maggie never got a letter during the war from him but if she did it would be addressed to her newborn daughter for her to read to the girl. She kept the letters safe still for her daughter to read in the future.

Sometimes she wondered if her daughter liked her uncle more than her mother or her nan. She had never seen Carissa in a negative mood in Thomas Shelby's presence.

Margaret and Thomas had their moments. Some of them now, were due to Carrie. For example; the second day after Thomas got home from the war, when he met his cousin's daughter, he and Margaret made small talk which then turned into a deep conversation about the one year old and how he would make sure he would protect her when the young mother couldn't.

"Ada doesn't know I'm going home-"

"I told her this earlier." He said, cutting her off.

"You can be so annoying sometimes." She muttered.

"What were you doing in the hospital?"

"I'm pregnant."

He didn't turn to look at her while he took another drag as she stared at the road, "Who's the father this time?"

"I don't know." She heard him muttered some curses under his breath, "but I have decided that if its a boy; Paul, and Penelope for a girl."

"Paul Gray, Penelope Gray." He tried, "No, not Paul, doesn't sound right. Neither does Penelope."

Taking her eyes off the road, she looked at him, "well then, how about Olivia for a girl and Mark for a boy?"

"No." He said after a moment of thinking.

"Would you prefer I name the boy Tommy then?" She spoke loudly.

"And Thomasina for a girl." He stated.

She chuckled and they both fell quiet again. "I'm not pregnant, but thanks for your input on naming a possible second kid."

"Good, I was worried you'd turned into a whore. Pol wouldn't like that." He threw his cigarette out the window, only to light another minutes later.

"Prick" she muttered.

—

    "Mum!" Carissa leaped from her chair in the kitchen when she heard the door open. When she saw the door and saw Tommy, her grin grew and she flung herself into his arms, now ignoring her mother.

"Be careful, love, he's broken." Maggie muttered but Carissa still held onto him tightly.

Maggie stood behind her cousin waiting for Carissa to properly acknowledge her, but no greeting came. Esme watched from the door, smirking at her in-law's dissatisfaction, "I no longer exist." Maggie said, before walking to Esme, "thank you again."

Esme nodded as Maggie walked past her. Maggie saw Arthur, bottle in hand, "welcome back." He said, pouring her a glass of whiskey. She accepted the glass and drank it quickly. Arthur chuckled as she poured herself another glass seconds later.

Before she could down her second glass, the young girl came running, throwing her arms around her mum's legs. About the spill her drink, Maggie held it over the table so it didn't pour over her daughters head.

Gently, she stroked the girl's head noticing her arms weren't moving any time soon. Tom entered the room as if he never left, Arthur poured him a drink and he finished it in one gulp. "Where's your mum?" he asked the young woman

"How am I supposed to know, I just got here." She said rudely. She didn't know why she spoke like that to him in that current moment but didn't apologised as she looked down at her daughter.

He ignored her, used to her manners, "Where Pol?" He asked the room this time.

"Out." Arthur said, simply.

"What have you been up to?" She lifted Carissa's head up.

"Arthur's taught me how to play poker." She looked up at her mother. The woman saw dark circles under her daughters eyes and felt guilty for leaving. Her thumb ran over her cheekbones and she smiled down at Carissa.

"God, I was worried you were gonna say that he taught you how to cut someone and how to talk to whores." She said almost forgetting she was talking to a four year old.

"Give it up, Mags." He said as Maggie walked Carissa out of the kitchen so the boys could talk.

She sat on the couch and her daughter joined her. The little girl leaned into her mum's side as her an arm wrapped around her small shoulders, "You okay, love?"

She felt Carissa's head move up and down slowly against her, "Did you sleep well?"

"The lady was there and she was asking about you." Carissa whispered.

"What was she asking?" Maggie asked but only received a small shrug as an answer. "Try sleep, eh? Can't have you tired for the surprise tomorrow."

A yawn escaped the girl's mouth before she spoke asked, "What surprise?"

"You'll see tomorrow, just close your eyes." Maggie whispered. Carissa sat quietly beside her mother on the couch before the sound of soft snores left her mouth.

Maggie slowly lent over so she could check if she was actually asleep and thank god she was. The woman laid back, still holding the in one arm and and the other reaching for a cigarette.

Once she balanced it on her lip, she reached for her lighter, careful not to wake the girl. It was just out of reach causing her to sigh heavily and lie back. Suddenly she heard the click of the lighter above her and saw her cousin's wife lighting her cigarette.

"Thanks... for the third time." Maggie said gratefully. The woman took a seat across from the pair, "Shouldn't you be going home to your husband and kids?" She said.

"They'll be fine without me for a bit." The woman said, lighting her own cigarette, "I went to see my cousin today and she gave me some herbs for Carissa and I think-"

Margaret shook her head as smoke poured out of her mouth, "No." she started, "with Polly Gray as my mother, you think she didn't try those pointless herbs. They did fuck all."

"Margaret, she can't sleep, just try again, bring her to a doctor."

"and then what? They send her away because she sees ghosts and hears voices, so no Esme, she is not seeing a doctor. And before you go on, be aware of who you are speaking to."

Esme bowed her head, taking her final drag, "I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Bye Esme." She watched as she rose from the arm chair and left. The door closed quietly.

She listened to the voices in the kitchen, and the sound of a dog barking outside. After three cigarettes she was out for the night.

—

"Did you tell 'em?" Her mum said as she and Tommy walked out. No one ever knew Polly Gray's birthday. Maggie knew, never mentioned it though. She knew how her mum hated the day. But she must have caught on by now.

When she was younger, Polly went out of her way to make her children's birthdays special, always doing something fun and entertaining but when it came to her birthday, she simply tried to ignore it. And she grew to hate it after Micheal and Anna got taken away from her.

"Would I ever?" She teased.

"Are you coming?" Pol asked, looking from her daughter to granddaughter. Her mum still was a bit shocked they knew her birthday and was a bit concerned about what the present was.

"Of course, but me and Cara are going in your car. No enough space in the one car, is there mum?" She smiled.

"My car?" She looked back at Tommy and the boys.

The man nodded his head toward the car beside the family car. "Your daughter was feeling a bit generous."

Maggie stood there grinning with her daughter. Carissa was jumping up and down with anticipation. She herself didn't know the surprise; Maggie wasn't sure she could keep the secret.

Polly smiled back at her daughter warmly and climbed into the car. "You don't want to take your new car?" Frowning, she asked her mother.

"No you take it, but there better not be any marks when we get there." She smiled again.

While she drove with the boys, Maggie drove with Carissa. It was a quiet drive for the most part. Carissa asked as many questions as she could before Margaret gave her some a book.

A few minutes of peace, Maggie turned her head to find her daughter, not reading the book, but colouring on top of the text. It was The Secret Garden, probably the woman's favourite book. It was wore out, with whiskey spilled over it, the pages crinkled, and the spine was fucked. It was well over decade old.

Now it held a picture of a dog and some flowers scribbled over the the black ink. She kept quiet because it kept Carissa quiet for the time being. The sound of the boys from the car behind them filled the air.

The new car stopped outside a lovely neighbourhood, "We're here, love." Her hand gently pulled the hair out of the young girl's face as she looked up.

"Is this where nan lives now?" She asked before Arthur approached the door.

"Sometimes." She answered quickly before Arthur lifted her out.

"Hello your highness." Arthur lifted his hat to the girl as she curtsied.

As Maggie turned the engine off, Carissa ran over to her nan, grabbing onto her hand. Arthur took it upon himself to terrorise the neighbours.

Maggie followed Finn up the pathway to the new house.

"Fucking watch it Finn." She hissed as her cousins joked about, almost knocking her over.

The house was beautiful on the outside but she was excited to see her mum's reaction ton the inside. Margaret was proud to say she furnished and decorated the house herself with the help of a few junior Peakys.

She shoved Finn through the door quickly as Arthur held the door open for them, "What a gentleman." She patted his shoulder.

"You said you were going to buy Ada a house."

"Yep, that's right, I did." Tommy answered, "just had a bit of cash left over."

"This is ours." She asked as they all stood around the living room. Carissa hard ran to the windows, peering out through he curtains.

"No. Polly, this is yours." He smiled at the woman, "Because you deserve it."

She did deserve it.

She watched as her mother glanced around. Pol turned to her daughter with glossy eyes and she couldn't stop the smile on her face.

"What will I do with all these rooms."

"Relax for one." He said. "Come here at weekends. It has a garden, eh? You love gardens. You can grow roses, Pol. I don't know. Have a piano. Have people round. They can have a singsong."

"God help the bloody neighbours" John spoke up

Arthur stepped up, "Fuck the neighbours." He handed his aunt a key. Maggie watched as she processed what was happening. She sat down on the couch, taking a minute.

"Arthur why don't you take the boys outside, wait by the car?" Tommy said to the boys, before motioning at his cousin to go with them.

Maggie knew Tommy needed to talk to her mum and she knew that he could probably help Polly with whatever she was dwelling on.

Before she could get her daughter's attention, Tom spoke up, "Carissa, why don't you go upstairs and pick your room." He nodded to his cousin as the little girl ran through the house and up the stairs.

She followed the boys out after giving her mother a small smile, reassuring her that everything was okay.

The woman leant against the car, pulling out a cigarette and quickly lighting it. "So Mags any men you need us to talk to?" Arthur randomly asked.

"Actually I'm seeing this man and he is..." she drifted off, smiling to herself.

"Ugly." "Disgusting." "Revolting." The three men said at once.

"He is gorgeous. You wouldn't believe it. A new dad for Cara. Think she'll like 'im, mum too." She took a drag.

"Fuck no, we decide if he'd be good enough for you and Carissa." Arthur said, the three suddenly getting serious — well, two of them, Finn was smirking behind them.

"So when do we meet this 'gorgeous' man that had taken your interest." John said.

"Oh soon John, he's actually proposed." She smiled sweetly.

"Really?" Finn spoke up, leaning beside her on the car.

"No." She laughed.

Arthur and John glanced at each other, "So he hasn't proposed." The older of the brothers asked.

"There is no gorgeous man." Finn grinned, looking at his oldest brother only for John to pull him into a headlock.

"Alright boys." She was thankful upon hearing her cousins voice. They all turn to the car but Maggie feels a hand grab her wrist. "You stay." He said quietly.

She nodded walking up the path again. She pushed the door open and stepped inside. It was weird. She knew it wasn't her home, it was her mum's but for her whole life her mum had always been a two minutes away.

The house on Waterly Lane held the memories of all her family she lost. Her sister, her brother, her dad, her almost husband, her best friend. This house held no memories for her.

She was grateful it was only a weekend home, for now at least. But she had made sure with Tommy that that house was never to be sold or rented out.

Slowly, she walked through the short hall, peering up the stairs Carissa ran up earlier. It was silent which was either good or bad.

Walking into the living room, she found her mother sat on the same couch as she was before."You alright, mum?" Maggie broke the silence.

Polly didn't turn around when she nodded. Her daughter walked around the room before sitting in the chair Tom once sat on. Maggie couldn't help but notice the small smile that came on her mother's face and the tears that rolled down her cheeks.

"What did Tom say?"

Looking up, she replied "Nothing to worry about. Did he mention to you what we were speaking about."

The young woman shook her head, smiling. She had seen her mother genuinely smile like this in ages. "Why don't we look around? I could give you a tour?"

"You knew about the- you've been here?" Polly asked, standing up.

"Well who would be better than me to design it with such elegance most fitted for a Gray woman." Polly smiled warmly at her daughter.

What Maggie didn't expect was her mother to hug here. It felt nice. They hadn't been the most friendly to each other lately. "It's all going to get better." She heard her mum say quietly.

Polly pulled again quickly, wiping her cheeks dry and put on a smile, "Now let's find that granddaughter of mine." And she walked out the room, leaving Maggie to follow.

The two made there way up the stairs looking in every room. Until Polly found one locked and grew worried. She tried opening the door frantic before Maggie stopped her, she reassured her, "I locked it. It's master bedroom; didn't Cara calling the big room for herself." Causing Polly to sigh with relief.

They approached the last room finding it partially closed. They found the young girl sprawled out on the floor fast asleep. Polly entered the room. Maggie watched as her mother put a pillow under her head and a blanket over her.

"What am I going to do?" Maggie whispered from the doorway

—