" the mandalorian "

*detailed explanation of sexual assault* (fancy way to say r*pe, i'm sorry)

Honestly? Mandalorians were stupid. They all chant "This is the Way" like some sort of mantra and never remove their buckets to show their real faces. Something about the sacred Creed. Like, they don't even show their face to their lovers. I don't get how this Creed came up or why this idiot Mandalorian I'm facing right now is so arrogant and stubborn!

UGH!!

I had met him on a sunny day like in most stories when I was fighting off a bunch of maniacs trying to um . . . let me explain the entire thing in detail.

So I was just walking normally across the street when suddenly I felt a strong burning sensation on my head and everything faded to black. When I woke up, I was tied strongly to a wall vertically, in a perfect executing position. But I didn't know the guys in front of me were planning amongst other things.

I struggled against the ropes, even though I knew I was too weak. Shit. That was one of the situations when I wished I was a guy in beskar armor with a beskar head. But I wasn't . . . which turned out to be a problem.

"You're looking really tasty right now, sexy girl," the idiot in a blue jacket said.

The red jacket guy growled, "I can't wait to feel your tight little walls around me."

My mouth fell open in realization in what they were about to do. I quickly made use of my open mouth and retorted, "Shut up you fucking freaks!"

"Oh, so that's how you wanna play ah?" the red jacket guy snarled, "We'll see to that." He ordered the blue jacket guy to remove my clothing, while he forced me to kiss him. Great plan guys. I screamed the best I could to try to get help, but it seemed like this was a normal thing to happen in this area.

As soon as all my clothing was off, the red and blue jacket guy stripped until they were naked. I closed my eyes, and shot them back open when I felt something disgusting and slimy touch my cheek. The idiot blue jacket's dick.

What the fuck?! I refused to open my mouth which was then forced open. Just as the red jacket man was about to slide his penis into me and the blue jacket man's dick into my mouth, I heard blaster shots and then black.

. . . 

I opened my eyes to see a fuzzy helmet's back while I was in an unusually comfy chair. Something poked me, so I whipped my head around and saw a little green thing with ginormous ears staring at me with dark black eyes. I shook my head and prayed this was all a dream.

I tried to scream, but nothing would come out, and I groaned when I remembered I screamed my throat to death a while ago. Wait. Why wasn't I tied up. Who were helmet-man and cute green baby over here?

"Who the frick are you?" I questioned, sounding way harsher than I did in my mind.

The helmet-man turned his head to show me his T-shaped visor and it dawned on me. OH. MY. MAKER. 

I somehow squealed and punched the guy's face, instantly regretting it.

Instead of apologizing like I should have, being the idiot I was, I just simply stated, "Reflex."

He didn't seem hurt, thank goodness, but was staring at me so hard I thought he was going to stare a hole through me.

"Um." I cleared my throat, getting his attention. "Who are you, and why am I here?" I asked, gentler this time.

"Mando," he said and gestured to the green baby with his head. "Don't touch him. You were being assaulted by two men, so I rescued you."

"Thank you, Mando." I smiled a soft smile, truly grateful. But soon, my rock hard outer layer was back.

"You're a Mandalorian?" 

"Yes," he answered, clearly proud. Well, I wasn't.

"Why the frick do you guys wear that stupid bucket on your heads? Is it some kind of tradition started by Mr. Bucket or something? Or did people wear actual buckets and you improved them?"

"No."

"Wait, that's all you're gonna say? 'No?' What the fuck?"

"Language," Mando plainly said.

"Okay, then." I stared at him in disbelief that he actually said that. "Wow. Anyway, who's little green baby over here trying to woo me with his charms?"

"That's . . . my kid."

"Aww!" I smiled a bright smile for the first time in forever at such a cute statement, before it hit me. "Wait. Are you a green man under there too?"

"No."

"Where's the proof?" I waggled my eyebrows.

"I shall never remove my helmet," came the idiotic response.

I sighed and reached for his hand. Mando quickly retracted it. I frowned. "They're not dirty, Mando."

"No."

"Fine." I pouted until he sighed and raised his hand out for me to see. I grinned and gently pulled off his glove before poking it with my hands. I heard a hiss come from his helmet's modulator and I said, "Have you ever touched anybody before or like, have you been sweating under this stinky glove for a hundred years?"

Mando stayed quiet.

I growled in frustration and stomped my way down the ladder and landed face first on the floor.