005, coworkers




MESSY
005, coworkers




" IM GOING TO MISS YOU." Drew's words reverberate from his lips to mine that are still firmly pressed together, waiting in the doorway for his can which should be here any second now.

I nod, " how much?" I ask as I feel a smile break against his beforehand glum lips. Pressing them to mould together once more. It gives me my answer but it doesn't seem to at the time.

He's been my safety net for the last eleven months, he's been near me always — the longest time apart being a week or two. It would've been longer but I fly out and surprise him, although we both know it's more for me than it is him.

We share a apartment in New York when he comes to see me whilst I was working on broadway and I would come to the house he was sharing with the obx cast when he was working ( which they love, because they adore me and my 'adorable' British-ness)

I move, pulling him into an embrace. The make or break of acting couples is when they're both busy, working. No time for one another especially when there's time zones like ours — we'll have to calculate time, which takes time that we don't have.

The sound of wheels churning against gravel makes me feel slightly sick. I know he actually has to leave now, I offer to help him with his cases he declines and instead I follow behind as he places his bags in the boot  of the car.

My arms folded as the door of the car opens and drew looks at me. I offer a small smile " you'll call
me when you land, let me know that you're ok." I ask.

Nodding " of course I will, you'll probably get a million calls off of the Maddie's." He tells me and I smile even brighter.

" but I am doing prep today, so I will try my best to answer." I tell him and his face falls slightly, but I try to look like I don't notice it and we can stay in this bliss forever.

That he won't be hundreds of thousands of miles away, and I won't be playing love interests with a man I know Drew still thinks I dated.

He nods, " laters hartley." he moves is head down and I leap at the opportunity to kiss him. Arms wrapping around his shoulders. I can feel his grip tighten on the car door hinge.

The kiss lasts a little longer than they usually do when we're saying goodbye to each other. Maybe because it feels like a goodbye goodbye, not a month or two. I hate to think it, so I miss him harder hoping he knows that this goodbye is going to end soon, and it's a temporary thing.

I pull away " see you soon, starkey." I say and he presses a brief kiss to my lips again before pulling away.

I step back, watch with folded arms only a metre away from the car as he drives off. Waving at me until he's out of eyeline, I hope he waved a little longer than that though.

Exhaling before wondering back into the house. It's still early, nobody is up. Yet I don't think I'll be able to go back to sleep with half the bed now empty — the first time it has been in months.

Rubbing my tired eyes as I pull my legs to the kitchen, navigating a stove top kettle and placing it on the hob. Grabbing my ' I love NYC' mug I brought in duty free at JFK on the at out here and the British tea bags ( PG tips for the win!) I have bulk brought for times were I travel out of the country.

I position myself leant against the side of a counter as I heat up the water — I feel strange, alone despite being in a house with people occupying each bedroom. I've spent the last ten months finding some comfort in Drew that I feel lost when he's not here, even though it's been a matter of minutes since I saw him last.

The rest of the morning I sit in the dining room, watching the outside world wake up from my view from the closed glass doors leading out to the pool and the gardens. And eventually the rest of the house wakes up and one by one I'm joined at the dining table by fellow people who give me small smiles.

First it's Ryan, and we speak enough and then It's Chiara and I talk a bit more and then when Olivia and Callum walk into the space with laughter lingering in the air ( that reminds me a lot of how we were once), I quieten down and continuing sipping my now third cup of tea that is lukewarm by the time I drink it.

" morning all." he says, and everyone replies and I swallow and my greeting hangs in the air or after everyone else has spoken.

" hi." he looks at me, and his gaze softens — he looks like he doesn't hate me but the way he doesn't even smile at me and instead looks away it shows me that he actually does.

" we should do a script read through today." Ryan says, in reference to the late night delivery of scripts each of us were given by our agents last night, " we have the time, get a grasp on everything before shooting starts tomorrow." he says and I nod.

" make a pitcher of lemonade, and sit and read through it together outside." Chiara says it like it'll be dreamlike and I see from the look Callum is giving the idea that grows realer by the second he detests it as much as I do ( although I don't, because Im not the one who left him).

I nod " sounds like a great idea." I tell them and catch Callum's eyes and mine swirl with hope that it might be normal again, if not normal than bearable between us.

We all agree to reconvene in an hours time, so I go to my room and I shower — changing into a pair of shorts and a baby tee that sits above my bikini top if I decide I want a tan today.

I grab my script as well as a ball point off the makeshift desk I've set up — walking outside where said pitcher of lemonade sits with glasses.

And after a few minutes, he walks out and he looks good ( breezy blue button up and white shorts) — he wore that exact outfit on a group holiday once, I note the outfit he looks particularly amazing in ( which is the majority of them).

The first part of the script reading is easy enough, lacks interaction with Callum — Ryan filling in for the actors that aren't here to fulfil their roles currently. My attention falters around the park of when me and Callum's character actually meet, he stands up and comes back after a couple minutes and he silently places down a cup of coffee in front of me as I sit in the chair by the pool.

" what's this?" I hum, he turns as he goes to sit down on the opposite side of the table despite a whole row of chairs by me being free. Chiara and Ryan linger their gazes towards the scrips that sit in front of us, whilst Olivia watches us interact.

" it's a coffee, I know you need caffeine to focus but don't worry, I put some ice cubes in to cool if down." he speaks so nonchalantly " I remember like how you don't like it too hot."

He plants me a small smile: I can't stop the scoff from leaving my mouth, it's a physical reaction that my brain doesn't even give the green light to give.

I push the  chair I just sat in out, and try my hardest not to cringe at the sound of the metal scraping against the stone in the midst of my annoyance as I begin to walk towards the garden. I can't believe him. Which I tell him:

" you are truly unbelievable."

I begin to walk away, headed towards the garden — where flowers bloom and I'd acknowledge their beauty even more if I wasn't angry, and upset, and damn right aching from the hurt his actions have left.

" olls, what's going on with you."  I turn as he's walking towards me, catching up with me.

" I got you a coffee ok, I'm trying to build bridges!" He tells me.

I scoff, " I don't want a fucking coffee Callum!" I raise my voice " I want answers!"

He swallows, I can see it it by the bobbling of his adams apple — " i want answers why you decided to burn your half of the bridge in the first place! I want to know why you decided you didn't want to be my friend anymore!"

I look away " I-I-I don't want a fucking coffee or having to decode every little bit of attention you give me to see if you like me again or not."

I meet his gaze again, and the pain resurfaces as my eyes look into his.

" you were my best fucking friend Cal ." I feel the tears brewing but I won't let them fall, at least not in front of him, " and losing you fucking hurt."

He shakes his head " I cant do this-

My hands make gesture to mark out my frustration " why did you do it!"

He doesn't answer me.

"look, hate me if you want but I don't know what I did, but I need you to tell me." I step forward and I can tell by his body language he thinks about stepping back. But he doesn't so I grip his top in my hands as I look at him.

" so I can apologise, so I can possibly make amends and we can just be normal again, so I can have my friend back-"

I shake my head, tilting my chin upwards to fully look at him " Cal, I miss you, I miss you so fucking much." I breathe out, my grip on his shirt tightening.

He looks at me, for a second I think I may have gotten my way through what ever barrier he's put up against me. But the moment passes and he places his hands on top of mine.

" I can't be your friend Olls." he whispers and it breaks my heart, even more as he ushers his nexts words under his breath " I don't want to be your friend."

My hands slip off of him, and I exhale. My eyes become teary as I bow my head again.

" this isn't fair." I tell him lowly as i momentarily look back up to him " I don't even know what I did and yet you're still punishing me for it!"

He looks at me for a little bit " I'm heading back, I can't have this conversation with you now-"

He begins to walk away " then when, because I've been trying to have this conversation for ten months!"

" calm back when you've calmed down Olls." he says and I hate him, I think I might hate him.

" you're a whimp." I tell him and he turns back around, " what?"

I nod, confirming my allegation " you ignore me, ghost me for months and then when we finally meet again you'd rather continue to punish me and ignore me rather than tell 'me what I did!"

he looks at me, urging me to stop but I can't " and you still have the audacity to do the things you used to; put ice cubes in my coffee, ask about my family, act like you're still my best friend."

" like you're not the one who left me, who abandoned me! do you know how fucked that is Callum?"

he closes in, standing close to me — I want to reach out and grab him, hold him until he comes to sense. But I don't think it'll work.

" we're coworkers olls," he opens his mouth as i silently dare him to say what I think he's going to say " that's all."

I turn my head and nod, looking at the sea that looks as turbulent as my own eyes right now.

" coworkers?" I whisper, trying to find the humour in a situation that is ripping me apart right now.

My arms folded as I turn back to him, I can feel the congestion building in my nostrils as I look at him.

" I don't know what I did, I really don't know Cal." I tell him, with a small pathetic shrug " but this isn't fair, this is actually cruel."

" Im going up to my room." I say, and he looks at me " apologise for me, tell them I feel sick or something." I exhale, beginning to walk away.

" this isn't professional." he tells me as I reach the stairs towards the patio doors on the opposite side of the house I turn and look at him for what I've decided is the final time for tonight.

" yeah well you try and act like you're in love with someone who you can't even bare to look at right now." I tell him, not waiting to see his reaction as I slip open the door and step inside. Before rushing up to my room, and doing the thing I've become quite good at.

Mourning the person I believed Callum Turner was. But evidently isn't anymore.





AUTHORS NOTE.
their costars watching them argue every 5 minutes: 😐🫣

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