c h a p t e r t h r e e
"I've never craved someone's attention
As much as yours, thought I should mention that
I bet all my money that I
Will lose to you and hand you my life
Here's to hoping you're worth all my time
I might barely know you but still
Don't love you yet, but probably will
Turn me into something tragic
Just for you, I let it happen"
let it happen. gracie abrams.
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TheBurntChip uploaded a video!
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LINDSEY WAS REGRETTING HER DECISIONS IN LIFE. She seriously wondered what was going through her head when she said 'yes' to being in Chip's pub golf video because she was now standing beside Wroetoshaw, ChrisMD, George, and ArthurTV while Chip stood in front of them in a fake tuxedo and explained the rules.
She had not been informed that she would be the only girl, and she only knew two out of the five other people there, Chip and George. She had met the others before, and they seemed like nice enough people. So, she wasn't worried about getting left out or anything, but she knew she was going have to bring her all in order to keep up with their humor.
"Welcome to Pub Golf, Monopoly Edition!" Chip announced, and they all cheered. "So, team number one today is gonna be Harry... and Arthur!"
Harry had been ready to cheer, but he just made a disappointed face, causing everyone to laugh while Chris nodded along. "Ah, the autistic ones together. I see what you've done here."
"Can we do that again with a nicer reaction?" Mr. Television asked.
"Got a million chromosomes between ya," Chip commented before looking back down at his phone. Lindsey would've wondered why he had to have his notes app open to remember three teams, but it was Chip. "You will be dressed, Harry, as the iron and Arthur, you will be the wheelbarrow. And the second team: Chris and George!"
The two boys high-fived while Lindsey just put her face in her hands, realizing what that meant for her. Chip informed Chris and George that would be the penguin and the sailor. She groaned, "No, no, no, no."
"And, of course, the monopoly man needs his dog," Chip giggled mischievously. "Lindsey and Chip. Lindsey, you're the dog."
"What're you trying say, Chip?" she quizzed with raised eyebrows in response to learning her character, and the boys burst out laughing in realization.
Chris nodded in agreement. "Yeah, what's that supposed to mean?"
"Take it however you want," the Monopoly man informed them, which just made them snicker more. Lindsey looked over at the camera with a done expression, shaking her head with a sigh. As they were waiting for their costumes, Chip came over and barked in her face.
They got changed and began walking toward their first stop. As they passed a police officer that had quite a few weapons strapped to his body, Lindsey commented, "He's packing."
"Yeah, he's also got a gun," George added, and he grinned when she threw her head back in laughter.
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AS THEY ARRIVED AT THE THIRD HOLE, SHE WAS ALREADY DONE. She had performed flawlessly so far, but Chip was selling it for the team because for someone that does it so much, he was awful at drinking. "Now that your mouths are clean, let's keep them that way. Any swearing will results in plus 1 point per use."
"What comes under the bracket as swearing?" Lindsey questioned.
Chris rubbed his eye and said, "Yeah, what sort of atmosphere are we talking about?"
"Well, you can't swear anyway because you're literally a child," Chip responded, shaking his head at the short man who was glaring back at him.
Lindsey put her hands up, as if shielding Chris from Arthur, all of the alcohol giving her confidence to make a joke about someone she didn't even know being a pedophile. "Arthur, stay away, stay away!"
"Fucking hell," Chip laughed as everyone else giggled, and Lindsey's head dropped to the table, everyone else pointing out his swearing.
They went around the table and did their drinks, the Harris girl's stupid partner swearing twice more, and then, it was time for the chance card. She sighed as she read it aloud, "Go to jail! Your team has been handcuffed for the next hole. Take a shot to grant your freedom. For fuck's sake."
"She just swore!" Harry pointed out, and she just grabbed the hood of his iron costume and pulled it down over his head to shut him up.
As they walked, Lindsey caused her team a lot of pain by skipping down the street and dragging Chip with her. In an act of revenge, he split a lamp post so that they got stuck, and both of them were too stubborn to go around.
"Lindsey, how you feeling about your partner?" George asked her, walking beside her and Chip while the man serenaded the camera with a rendition of 'Highway to Hell.'
She glanced over to the man she was handcuffed to and tried to be nice. "It could be worse?"
"Could it?" he asked skeptically, watching as Chip climbed on top of a trash can, half of his body drooping so that he was still connected to Lindsey, and sang to the streets of London.
She shook her head. "No, it really couldn't."
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"I LOOK LIKE SUCH A PICK ME RIGHT NOW," Lindsey pointed out as she walked alongside George and Chris. Arthur was up ahead with Chip and Harry, trying to run over their feet with the wheelbarrow. She smirked at the camera. "What can I say? I'm just one of the lads."
But then Chris and George began holding hands, and she corrected herself. "Never mind. I'm third wheeling." Arthur came running back toward them, the wheelbarrow over his back, and as he turned to look at George, he smacked her in the face with it.
"Oh, my god. I'm so sorry," he apologized when he felt the impact. Both of them knew that he didn't hit her hard, but she let fell over dramatically and rolled to the ground, letting the alcohol take over. They laughed because that was about the third time he had done that in the video, and she giggled while sticking a thumb up to let them know she was fine.
When she refused to get up, however, so George grabbed her legs and proceeded to drag her slowly down the sidewalk. When this method wasn't working, he dropped her legs and grabbed her arms, pulling her that way. All the while, both of them were giggling like little girls.
When they reached their next stop, the boys took turns jumping on the wheelbarrow until it was pretty much flattened. Then, Lindsey picked it up and proceeded to beat Harry lightly with it.
"What the fuck? That was, like, literally half of this video's budget," Chip slurred when he saw the warped piece of metal. He then pulled out the next card to explain to them what the next hole was. "Oh no! It appears you don't have enough to pay the rent this time 'round. Better get on your knees. It's time for a blow job!"
"What the fuck?" Lindsey muttered, not sure if the alcohol was fogging her hearing or Chip's talking.
He then clarified, "Shots. Blow job shots."
Then, the chance card ended up being to get a photo with a lookalike of a member of your team. George sighed, pointing at his face. "This is gonna be hard. How do you find someone this good-looking just walking around London?"
"Being beautiful isn't as easy as people think it is. I get it," Lindsey told him, patting him on the shoulder. He then watched her with a smile as she ran off after Chip.
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"BOYS, IT HAS BEEN A JOURNEY."
The Harris girl cut in one sentence into Chip's speech in front of the last hole. She informed him, "Not a boy."
"Shut the fuck up. No one cares. I'm trying to give a speech here," he snapped back, causing snickers around the circle. Harry just patted her on the back as they leaned in. "It is time for the last hole."
"Do I have any chance of winning whatsoever?" Lindsey quizzed loudly as they stepped into the final pub. She was pretty sure that Chip had gotten them about a thousand points, while she had gotten them three extra.
George shook his head. "I'll massively throw the entire thing if you start the song." He and Chris had gotten the chance card on the last hole, saying they needed to start a song in the next pub.
"Yeah, I'd rather lose," she responded.
In the end, Harry and Arthur won by a landslide, and Lindsey and Chip weren't as far behind as she thought they were. They gathered together in the middle of the pub, and Chris began singing Sweet Caroline as loud as he could.
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view all comments
Arthur Frederick I had so much fun! Harry and I cooked!
โณ TheBurntChip who is this npc?
user please tell me i wasn't the only one that noticed george and that girl
user AYYYY LINDSEYYYYY
user "that girl" and it's THE lindsey harris
user that lindsey girl's a pick me if i've ever seen one
โณuser stfu???
user george and chris def made out after this
user it's really strange seeing george not completely lose it in front of a girl
โณ user watch the new useless hotline episode he was so comfortable with her
AUTHOR'S NOTE
hope y'all are having a great day. lmk you're thoughts <3 love you all!!!
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