[a/n: continuation from chapter two. flashback is over.]

//present//

L O U I S

"tch!"

the feeling of multiple random eyes on himself drove louis to the edge. with another click of tongue, he looked down and sighed. "look away, please." he whispered softly, fingers curling inside his jacket's pockets. it sure did feel really good in the morning, the attention and these eyes. however, it was straight away irritating.

gigi laughed at his self-conscious exclamation and hip-checked him. "get used to it, lou. it isn't going to stop any time soon."

ew. louis thought. people really got on his nerves. it was not a secret that for such people appearances mattered more than what's inside. he gave gigi a low hum and cleared his throat. "don't really enjoy it."

"good to know you haven't changed a whole lot." taylor grinned, slinging one arm around him. again, why is she taller than him? unfair. "still shy and modest,"

louis raised his head a bit and gave her an unimpressed look. "i'm not shy. just a bit awkward." with a huff, he plopped down on their regular lunch table and put his head down. "look away, look away, look away please!" he groaned softly.

niall slapped his back and laughed. "don't act like a princess, lou. enjoy the attention, will you?" he scoffed jokingly. "'cause if i were you, i would've made these pretentious motherfuckers my literal bitches."

"yeah, he's not you, niall." taylor smacked her lips, waving at a couple of people from her class. "there was this girl, louis—

"don't even start with that!" louis groaned, causing his friends to laugh again. it was so disgusting that suddenly everyone was interested in him. "i already regret so many things..." he whispered softly, looking away in embarrassment. he was referring to his impulsive decision to slap harry.

he brought his hands to cover his flaming cheeks and huffed. he was such an awkward being.

"that was iconic." taylor clicked her tongue, niall giving a hum of approval. "it deserved it."

louis pursed his lips, choosing to keep quiet. honestly, it was in the heat of the moment and louis actively loved it. however, the moment he went to class and cooled down, he regretted it. that was not him.

"just eat. stop thinking."

he heard niall instructing him. he let his eyes wander around the crowded, loud cafeteria, unconsciously, looking for someone who still made his heart race in a not-so-good way. after a minute, he found him.

still so mesmerising.

harry was not even eating anything. he was just there, just emptily staring in space. louis had tried a thousand times to hate him, forcing to convince himself that harry was just a stepping stone, a nobody in his life.

his eyes widened a bit when george came behind harry and nudged him. it didn't look right. the way harry jumped, looking positively scared and tired, louis didn't like it. he couldn't understand why... but he didn't like it.

his breath caught in his throat when his eyes met harry's. it was just for a moment but it was enough to mess with his brain. a chill ran down his body, making him uncomfortable. he averted his gaze to the other side of the cafeteria and gulped. 'get a grip, idiot!'

he threw a fake, forced smile to the girl who waved at him. 'now look away.' he sneered inside his head. subconsciously, he turned his head towards the entrance of the cafeteria. harry had left. he let out a loud sigh gaining his friends' attention.

"what?" niall asked.

wordlessly, he gestured around the cafeteria and cleared his throat. "please dig a hole for me, will ya?"

"i will. don't worry." niall scoffed. "if only i were you!" louis heard him grumbling under his breath angrily. yeah, louis felt the same. if only he were like his friends, who were getting zero attention and enjoying their life to the max. "we should hang out after school."

"why, yes!" taylor exclaimed excitedly. "it's been so long."

"i feel the same." gigi smiled at louis. "up for it?"

"sure, why not." he shrugged casually. "ask zayn to join us, okay? haven't seen him since this morning."

"will do."

louis raised his eyebrows when he saw niall and taylor giving him a knowing look, givgling mischievously. now what? "just spit it out!"

"nothing. nothing at all." niall grinned.

yeah, as if. however, louis chose to ignore them and got up. "heading to the toilets. see y'all after school."

"bye, bye!" taylor waved at him, still grinning creepily.

and suddenly louis was not so much looking to go out with them.

-

the cold water felt good on his heated face. his walk from the cafeteria to the loo was filled with curious looks and whispers. louis was willing to jump off the building by now. god, he had lost just some weight. what is such a big issue?

he was about to groan out in frustration when he heard a little click of the stall door unlocking, which made him flinch as there was no sound other than that. he absolutely regretted looking up, coming to the bathroom, coming to the school, coming back to his town, coming in this world.

granted, he was overreacting but he had a good reason. it was his ex-bullies. awkwardly, he shifted his gaze away from george and harry and licked his lips. are they still doing it? george is filthy. but does harry have no shame? well, why even give it a thought after what harry did to him?

it was evident that even harry was uncomfortable as he was awkwardly shifting his weight from one toe to other. his eyes were glossy, cheeks were rosy and hair was sticking in a million directions. wow, george is good. louis cringed at his thoughts.

george looked at him and rolled his eyes. "why is it always you? can't even call him fat now!" he muttered the last part under his breath, but louis heard it.

the feathery haired lad opted to keep his mouth shut, eyes trained on the hand dryer as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. he felt the hair at the back of his neck stand, feeling a burning gaze on him.

look away, look away, look away.

it was like his magic spell today. he kept chanting it in the back of his mind. however, harry never looked away. he could still hear george grumbling bullshit under his breath, probably talking shit about him. why even bother?

awkwardly, he brought his hands under the tap to wash them for no reason. he just wanted to seem busy, wanting to get out of this situation quickly.

"hello? i am talking to you! s—

next thing louis knew was he had splashed a handful of water at the boy, positively shutting him down. god, what was his problem today? why was his body acting up so impulsively? this was not him.

he heard a choking sound that made him peer up in the mirror. it was harry, who was trying so hard not to crack up. as for george, the boy was frozen. water droplets were dripping down his face, soaking his sweatshirt. louis wanted to feel guilty, wanted to apologize but it felt right. it really felt really, really good.

when did he become this petty?

with a sudden surge of confidence, he turned around on his heels and cocked his hip out, a hand propped on it. "wakey, wakey georgie! because news flash; the world doesn't revolve around you."

and louis was not sure if it was george's surprised look or harry's loud cackle that made his heart jump with excitement. god, it felt so good. he finally stood up for himself.

happily, he ducked his head down, a smile plastered on his lips and stepped out of the loo. he curled his right fist and pumped it in the air, very subtly, not wanting to attract any attention. "i did it."

it seemed like such a small thing but for him, who had always been bullied, who never stood up for himself, this sudden confidence felt reassuring. it put his heart at ease.

"what put you in such a good mood?"

louis looked to his right, smiling at niall who was curiously watching him. "just something." he chuckled.

niall looked at him a bit suspiciously, then shook his thoughts away, a grin appearing on his lips. "i am so excited for out hangout."

"i am just going to ignore your creepy smile and agree with you."

"what other option do you have, my friend?" niall smirked at him. "mvp, aren't we?" he chuckled softly.

louis made a face. "i might have been a bit excited this morning about this, i am not so much anymore. so stop."

"whatever, whiny." niall snorted. "see ya at the end of the school."

"are you just forgetful or a straight up dumbfuck, niall?"

niall gasped softly. "are you just blunt or a straight up arsehole, louis?"

"we share the same period." louis pointed out blankly, looking unimpressed.

a blush climed up from niall's neck to his cheeks. "i'd go with forgetful."

"sweet."

-

❝I used to hold my freak back,
Now I'm letting go❞
— Demi Lovato

________________________

05/09/2021

•••

🍞 : i've got no questions for you. i'm so blank rn.

🥛 : yeah, same.

•••

[<edit> catty's view on the chapter: louis, man, i feel you. it's just not you, even i take impulsive decisions and regret it later. that's so relatable. also like, i'm so happy that louis stood up for himself. ]

excuse my mistakes. i hope you liked the chapter x