LIKE YOU MEAN IT
CHAPTER SIX !

NELL DESPISED HERSELF. What was wrong with her? Why had she kissed Hazel? She genuinely didn't know why she couldn't just keep her feelings locked down until they graduated at the end of the year, moved away to college and never saw each other again. No, she just had to give in to her feelings and kiss one of her friends.

            She felt like such a fucking idiot. No doubt Hazel thought the same. She probably felt violated.

            If she had any guts, Nell would have gone to Hazel, explained herself and her feelings and just hope for the best. Nell didn't have guts however. She could take a punch across the face or a kick to the abdomen with ease but being honest about—feelings? She'd rather the earth open up and swallow her whole.

            Her best plan of action going forward was to just ignore it. She hoped that if she didn't bring it up and Hazel didn't bring it up, that they could move forward and simply pretend that it hadn't happened. Perhaps Hazel would explain it away as a Nell being caught up in the rush of endorphins that typically followed a one-on-one encounter. At least that's what the Hewitt girl hoped for as she headed to school the next day.

She was attempting to slow down her somewhat frantic breathing as she happened upon her friends walking in the hallways. The girl grew confused and a little disturbed as she heard PJ utter, "No, if we keep it up we can put our fingers inside of each other. Grow up."

She didn't even want to know what they were talking about before she showed up. "That sentence is unsettling without context." Nell quipped with a laugh.

She felt eyes boring into the side of her head, most definitely coming from Hazel. Stress began to overwhelm her senses, worry coursed her veins as she hoped that Hazel would just let what happened go. Nell didn't want to ruin their friendship.

            She'd rather have Hazel in her life as her friend then not at all.

She also couldn't even think about looking over at the blue eyed girl due to the sheer amount of cleavage that was suddenly showing. That was the first time she'd seen Hazel in something that didn't give her full torso coverage. Her eyes would certainly veer too far below Hazel's face for her to not get caught.

            Hazel internally sighed when Nell refused to look her way. She desperately wished to discuss what had happened. She wanted to tell the Hewitt girl that she most certainly hadn't minded the kiss. How she definitely wanted to do it again but—well, how exactly could she do that if Nell refused to even glance at her?

            She didn't want to force Nell to confront anything before she was ready to but god, only a day had passed since the kiss and Hazel never wanted to do something again so badly. The slight glossy sheen to Nell's lips from her raspberry flavoured gloss did little to deter her.

The Callahan girl squeezed her eyes shut in frustration before reopening them. Words fell from her lips in a tumble. "You know, PJ. I feel like people are actually liking more than just the hitting and the tackling part of the club."

"Yeah, I know. We're empowering them, duh!" PJ just uttered in reply, listening but not really taking in what Hazel had to say. She and Josie were far too distracted by the series of high fives and respect filled head nods sent their way.

Hazel subconsciously flitted her gaze to the Hewitt girl beside PJ as they all came to a stop in the middle of the hallway. "No, I mean. Seriously, to have a safe space like this, it means a lot to people and I think that if we took some time to spend a meeting an actually get to know these girls, like it would be really important instead of just like sweating on them and..." her voice trailed off as she spoke until there was nothing but faint mumbles.

"Hazel, that is a genuinely brilliant idea." Josie suddenly commented with a wide grin. It wasn't clear if she was being genuine or sarcastic. Most likely sarcasm. "I love talking about my trauma."

PJ nodded in agreement. Her sarcasm was much more obvious as she replied to the Callahan girl. "I literally jack-off after every single therapy session."

           "What?" Josie's brows furrowed in confusion at her best friends strange admission.

Nell sighed. "PJ, stop talking."

"What?" PJ retorted with a shrug. She didn't understand what about what she was saying was so odd. "It just makes girls weirdly horny."

Before another word could fall past the lips of any of the four girls, Tim, Jeff's self-appointed best friend and fellow football player, suddenly appeared before them. He slid across the linoleum floor, his eyes opened wide.

            "Bonjour." He uttered. Discomfort washed over all four girls as they stared up at the large football player. He grinned down at them all, though it was anything but sincere. "I just wanted to say that I'm loving what I'm hearing about the club. It seems so supportive of women. Especially the hot ones."

PJ refused to let him get to her. She instead just proudly smirked up at him with a shrug. "Yeah, well, all women are hot to me." She confidently admitted.

Well, that's a lie, Nell thought. PJ didn't hide the way she compared the looks of every women she came into contact with. But honestly, who didn't? Whoever said they didn't was lying.

Tim didn't seem amused despite the chuckle he let out. "Listen it's really cute and everything but we're getting a little close to the game now and um, I'm just a bit concerned that it might be taking attention away from our team." He spoke softly, talking down to them as if they were children.

"I think that's like—" Josie began as her hand that held a flyer for the upcoming game, one littered with Jeff's stupid face, to rise up in the air. She used the flyer as an example as her brows furrowed. "literally impossible to do."

A tight-lipped smile, one filled with contempt was sent their way from Tim as he moved away, keeping his eyes locked upon the group of girls until he headed down another hallway and lost line of sight.

A slight shudder ran through the Hewitt girl as she watched him leave. Her voice wavered as she said, "His intensity is kinda scary. Does he scary anyone else?" She was sure that he hadn't blinked once during that entire interaction.

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            "JOSIE?" THE HEWITT GIRL meekly called out for her friends attention. Her head had been reeling from the events of the day prior and she just really needed to discuss it with someone. Who else than Josie who was herself pining over someone?

             The two were sitting in the gym, just off to the side from all of the other girls. They were all waiting for the arrival of Isabel and Brittany before they could start.

             When Josie glanced up from the homework that was sitting in her lap, curiosity painted across her face, Nell pitifully sighed before asking,  "Can I talk to you about something?"

            Josie's brows furrowed. "Uh, wouldn't you rather talk to Hazel?"

            Her thought process was understandable. Nell and Hazel had become quite close since the beginning of the club, so to assume that Nell would have rather spoken to the Callahan girl wasn't exactly wrong.

            Nell shook her head. "Well, seeing as how she's what I need to talk about, no. No, I don't." She lowly muttered as she tucked her hair behind her ear.

A chorus of laughter from the group not that far away had Josie looking over at them for a second. When she turned back to face Nell, she lowered her voice before responding, "What's up?"

What wasn't up? She had been a complete idiot and had potentially ruined a friendship she truly enjoyed. Her pupils kind of shook as she gazed over at the short haired Callahan girl, watching on as she laughed along with their friends and ignoring the way her heart seemed to soar at the sweet smile Hazel sported.

Her mouth contorted into a frown as she lowered her gaze down to her lap. "I may have done something really stupid." Nell admitted sombrely.

"How stupid?"

"Very."

With a now quirked right brow and a wry smile, Josie joked, "You didn't commit a crime, right?"

            "No!" Nell exclaimed as her eyes raised up in a flash to glance at a smiling Josie. "No, no crime. Although right now I'm wishing I had instead of what I actually did."

            Still amused by her own words, a smile remained on her lips as she carried on. "And this involves Hazel?" Josie questioned, glancing over at the girl in question who was jotting in her notebook.

            "Pretty much." The Hewitt girl sighed. She needed a moment. She needed to collect her thoughts. She was about to admit her very embarrassing actions from the day prior and needed to prepare herself for potential laughter from Josie.

            "You know yesterday after Hazel and I fought?" She questioned, breaking the silence. When Josie let out a hum to indicate she knew what Nell was talking about, the blue eyed girl continued. "Well, after everyone had began heading home, I stayed behind to help Hazel with that cut on her lip."

            "Okay." Josie muttered with a nod of the head. She wondered where this was going. Had Nell insulted Hazel right to her face? Had she made the cut worse instead of cleaning it?

            "I might have, maybe, perhaps kissed her." Nell mumbled, the words but a whisper from her lips. Her hands wrung together nervously in her lap as she continued. "And then ran out before she could say anything."

            This certainly wasn't Josie's area of expertise. She had her own relationship (or lack thereof) to worry about. Her eyes widened as she quickly attempted to grab her stuff and get up. "I don't think I'm best qualified to help wit—"

"No, Josie!" Nell reached out and grabbed at Josie, gripping onto her arm and pulling her back down. "You have to help me. Otherwise I'm gonna be forced to ask—PJ for help." Her gaze bounced over to the girl herself, briefly observing her dancing on the spot before looking back at Josie.

"Yeah, she wouldn't help you." Josie breathed out. Her eyes scrunched shut. Different plans to free herself of this conversation rushed through her brain but when she saw the genuinely freaked out expression that marred itself across Nell's face, she sighed. "Fine. What have you done so far?"

            "I ignored that it even happened. I also haven't been able to make eye contact with her all day." Nell's heart raced violently in her chest as she confessed her absolute idiocy. Her eyes tightly scrunched shut as another wave of unease washed over her and her face began to blush.

            Josie chuckled in disbelief. "That's amazing. That'll really help your relationship."

           As her fingernails began to pick at the frayed material of the cut of her jeans, the black haired girl exhaled heavily, her shoulders falling significantly. "It's awkward, okay? I can't help it. She makes my hands sweat and my heart feels like it's gonna crawl up my throat and fall out of my mouth."

            To prove her point, she rubbed her palms along her jeans to rid herself of the perspiration that had gathered. Just talking about Hazel had her palms growing damp.

            "That's gross." Josie admitted, her nose turning up at the sight. She couldn't really judge though since she got all lightheaded and rambly around Isabel. "Okay, here's an idea. Play it cool. Just act normal around her, don't ignore her. Wait to see if she brings it up. If she doesn't then you just pretend it didn't happen."

            "You have way too much faith in me." Nell dryly uttered, a humourless laughter interwoven within her words.

            Josie just shrugged her shoulders. "Yeah probably. But if you want to stay friends with her if she doesn't feel the same then you'll have to power through it." She spoke honestly to the Hewitt girl. Sugar coating it just wouldn't work.

            A genuine smile of appreciation pulled at the corners of Nell's lips as she stared over at her friend. "Thanks Josie." Her voice was soft as it made its escape from her lips, sincerity flowing freely in her tone.

             Josie just waved her gratitude off. A smile that mirrored the Hewitt girl's appeared as she replied, "Don't mention it. When the time comes, you can just help me with Isabel."

            Nell's previous smile morphed into a knowing smirk. "You're so oblivious." She oh-so confidently uttered followed by a slight chuckle at the confusion that crossed Josie's face.

            It was clear as day to everyone but Josie, the way in which Isabel constantly followed every little movement Josie did. From from she demonstrated a manoeuvre to when she gave a little pep-talk, Isabel hung on to every little word as if it was gospel. The fact that Josie remained oblivious was truly something else.

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jamielee's thoughts.
chapter six. not proofread.
so yeah not much interaction between nell and hazel this chapter. but that'll change soon. next chapter will be slightly from Hazel's pov so that will be fun. I hope you enjoyed :)