"Okay, everyone! How was it?"

It was not great. But in order to get good grades, you must appeal to a teacher's ego. Lillian beats me to it, though.

"It was amazing!" She cries, eyes gleaming. (After raising her hand. What do you think we are, cavemen?)

"Well, thank you very much." Mr. Ester does a little bow.

The video was bizarre. It was him doing hip hop to ballet music. Sure, it was funny, but I just feel really embarrassed for him right now.

What was even the point of showing that video to us? He says it's for Dance class, but is it really?

He's a really...goofy guy. That's the only way I can think to describe him.

I can see him as a clown or a magician, but a teacher? For grade sevens? If it had to be related to education, then kindergarten would be the right thing for him.

But he does let us out of class before the bell rings, which means we don't have to go to our lockers when the hallways are all crowded.

"Did you really think that video was good?" Tiegan asks Lillian, opening her locker door.

Lillian looks both ways before asking. She takes the role of teacher's pet very seriously.

"Well, obviously not." She shrugs. "But how was I supposed to say that to Mr. Ester? It would break his heart."

"I think you're overestimating how much Mr. Ester values your opinion." Ava grunts.

"He values my opinion very much." Lillian argues, sticking her tongue out at Ava. "Right Nicole?"

"Uh," I stammer. "I dunno. Kind of?"

Wrong answer. They both give me annoyed looks and resume their conversation.

I sigh and open my own locker. I take pride in how I decorated it this year. I think of it as a collage about me. I have a hibiscus I made out of tissue paper hanging at the top. There's also magnets of my favourite colours, turquoise and purple. And there are photos of my friends and family everywhere else.

One of the photos is one that my Dad forced me to bring to school and that my friends pressured me to hang up. It's a picture of my family during our first camping trip, when I was eight years old. There's bug bites all over our skin, our eyes droop from exhaustion, and our hair is a mess. It's very unflattering.

It is by far my least favourite photo there. And that's saying something considering how many embarrassing photos I chose/was forced to put up.

One of my favourite photos on there is of me and Sam. It's the two of us on Christmas morning a year ago, and Sammy had just opened the homemade toy soldier I had made for him. I love it because he has the cutest smile ever on his face.

But my very favourite has the place of honour inside my locker, smack in the middle. It's a picture of me and my friends (before Tiegan) during the summer. We're at the beach and all of our hair is soaking wet, but we look so HAPPY. In the photo, Ava's rolling her eyes, but playfully. Lillian's giving Talia a big, wet, squishy hug, just as Talia and I are laughing about some random joke she made.

I stare wistfully at that photo. If only things could go back to the way they used to be.

Before Talia was put into a different class.

Before new friendships got rid of the old.

Before all the fighting.

Before all the drama.

Before seventh grade.

If only.

I blink myself back into reality. Ava and Lillian are still arguing. Those two drive me crazy sometimes.

Suddenly, Ava stops talking. I realize that she's seen my picture of honour.

"Don't-" I begin, but it's too late.

She snatches the photo off the door. And in a sudden movement, she rips the side with Talia on it clean off.

"Here." She spits, handing it back to me. "Much better."

I stare at her, wide eyed. What happened to the best friend in the photo, the one with the smile on her glowing face? She looked happy. But the girl in front of me, her curls a mess, her eyes manic, just looks plain crazy.

"Sorry." I look down and stuff the remnants in my backpack, hoping I can tape it together when I get home.

"I-It's okay." Ava shakes her head, returning to her normal self. "I overreacted a little bit."

"'A little bit.'" Tiegan snorts under her breath.

"Yes." Ava snaps, turning to Tiegan. "A little bit."

Tiegan matches her gaze. "It was way more than a little bit."

Ava opens her mouth then closes it again. For the first time ever, Ava has been rendered speechless.

After a tense moment, Ava grunts, flips her dark hair over her shoulder, grabs her jacket and stomps down the hall.

"Are you CRAZY?" I cry at Tiegan once Ava is out of my sight. "She could have gone ballistic on you!"

"But she didn't." She shrugs modestly and heads after Ava.

Lillian watches her retreating back.

"That is one brave girl."

***

I know Tiegan can come up with some bizarre games. But if I'm being honest, those bizarre games are what I look forward to throughout every single school day.

The thing is, they're fun. Really fun.

Well, they are for me. When Talia used to spend recesses with us, I could see that Tiegan tried to annoy her whenever she got the chance, which was a lot. Those two don't get along well in the slightest.

But Tiegan's games are creative, unique, and very entertaining. Like when we held a T-rex gymnastics tournament on the field. If the name doesn't explain it well enough, we basically did handstands and cartwheels and all sorts of those things with T-rex arms. It is much more difficult than it sounds.

Or when we made a painting on the blacktop from berries we had in our lunches. That was even better. So what if some people looked at us strangely? Maybe they were just jealous of all the fun we were having.

Today, Tiegan comes up with something else.

"Let's race!" She announces.

I'm sure I look a little crestfallen when she tells us that, so I try to cover it up with a big smile. I'm just a little disappointed she couldn't come up with something more creative, like she usually does.

"Oh, please." Tiegan laughs as she sees my face. "You really think I'd do something that boring? I don't think so. Because we'll be racing, alright-while piggybacking each other!"

I clap, which is what I do when I'm excited.

"Who's piggybacking who?" Lillian asks.

"Hmmm." Tiegan taps her chin as if she's thinking really hard, but I know she's already decided. "I'll carry Ava, and Lillian can have Nicole. Then we'll switch."

"Sorry." She whispers to me a moment after. "It's just that Ava's lighter."

Lillian and Tiegan get into position as Ava and I prepare to mount their backs. Ava jumps, and gets a good grip on Tiegan's shoulders. I jump too, but immediately slip off.

"I'm not going to wait like this forever!" Lillian mutters.

I harrumph and try again. This time, I succeed. To celebrate my victory, I do a little cha-cha dance on Lillian's back.

"I did it on my first try." Ava points out, crossing her arms.

I stop dancing.

"On your marks, get set, go!" Tiegan cries.

I can't help but laugh out loud at how slow we're going. Seriously, this is ridiculous.

Finally, we make it to the end. Tiegan and Ava won, unsurprisingly. As Tiegan said, Ava is freakishly light.

We switch places. Lillian gets on my back now instead. But on my way across the field, I spot Talia.

She's hanging out with Rheana, Annalise and a few other girls. Huh? Since when was she friends with them?

And how did she get so many friends? I'm doing pretty well with my three friends, but she has, like, six friends, NOT including Owen.

And did I just say I have three friends? That's wrong. I have FOUR friends. At least I think I do...

I squint my eyes to see what they're doing. It looks like they're...talking. Suddenly, I'm all too aware of how immature me and my friends are being for our age. I'm ELEVEN years old, and participating in a piggyback race.

Well, I always did say Talia was more mature than us.

Talia looks up and we make eye contact. And just like we used to when we were younger, we have a conversation with just our eyes.

I'm sorry. I try to tell her.

Then why did you agree with them?

I was stupid.

Stupidity isn't an excuse.

She turns away and begins a conversation with Annalise. I turn away too, only to remember I'm in the middle of a race.

"Earth to Nicole!" Tiegan yells, already finished.

"Sorry. I got distracted."

Lillian slides off my back and stamps her foot on the ground, her face contorting with utter rage.

"It's not FAIR!" She screams. "It was all Nicole's fault!"

"Are you seriously having a temper tantrum right now?" Ava snickers.

Lillian opens her mouth, probably to say something like "Nuh uh!". But before she can respond, the bell rings.

I unzip my jacket and head up the stairs. Lillian pouts behind me, and I can bet I'll hear an earful about this later.

***

I blow a breath of air out and sigh when I'm able to see it in the cold air. It's almost Winter, and I'm very upset about it. Winter is my least favourite season. It's cold, wet, and dreary. What's there to LIKE?

Too bad my birthday is on the day Winter starts. If I were born just one day earlier, I'd be an Autumn baby.

I wrap my jacket tighter around myself and proceed down the sidewalk. I'm supposed to be walking with Bernie, but he takes forever to get ready. So we made a deal that I'm allowed to leave before him, as long as I wait for him near the park, so it will seem like he walked with me. It can get kind of lonely.

At least I don't have to walk the WHOLE way. Mom picks us up halfway there, at the park. What I don't understand is why she doesn't just pick us up at the school. I think she likes punishing us a bit.

I arrive at the park and see that my mom is waiting in her car, blasting her old people music. I can't let her see me yet, because of the deal with Bernie, so I sit on the grass behind a few trees.

But Bernie takes a really long time. I mean, he always takes a long time, but this is even longer than usual.

I'm not worried about him. I'm more worried about myself, afraid that I might die of boredom.

So I decide to entertain myself and climb one of the trees. I reach for a branch and pull myself up. Balancing myself, I stand up on it. I wish my classmates and friends could see me now. And they call me a klutz. As if!

But just then, my head hits a branch above me. My hands immediately fly to the new bruise. But with no hands supporting me, I start to wobble. I desperately try to grab the branch again, but I've already fallen.

I brace myself for the landing, hoping I'll only break a bone or two. Fortunately, I land on something soft instead. I peek between the hands now covering my eyes. My backpack broke my fall!

I pat it thankfully, as if it's a living thing.

I open it up, just in case anything broke inside. While sticking my hand in, I come across the pieces of the photo Ava had ripped up.

I take the piece with Talia out and study her expression.

"I am so, so sorry for everything." I whisper. "Not just for the grape juice thing. I know that's not what you're really mad about. I mean everything. I'm sorry for bringing Tiegan into the group without telling you first. I'm sorry for not defending you when you fought with Ava. I'm sorry for not being happy for you about Owen. I wish I could go back in time and change everything, but I can't. So I hope an apology is enough."

I hug the photo, hoping beyond belief that Talia can hear me now.

And if not? Well, maybe I can tell her myself.