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CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN,
welcome home

-

༇ UPDATES.

Once a month.

Updates.

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: May, 2031.

Dear Hana,

Update from since you left, to end May.

Dad and I went to the store together. I bought a new deck of cards. Then we got ice cream and sat on a bench and talked about how I yelled at him and the things he did. He apologized. Sincerely. I could practically feel his emotions. I guess I forgive him, because it's been so many years and he clearly redeemed himself, but I won't forget it.

He pretends he's doing well, but he's clearly struggling. I guess everyone's been kinda sad lately. Sakiko keeps asking when you'll visit us and Mom kind of cries every other second of the day.

But I'm doing okay, I promise you. My tests are going well. Studies are going great too.

Hope you're alright, Hana.

Love,
Kaoru.

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To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: June, 2031.

Dear Hana,

Update from since my last email, to end June.

Dad offered to go on vacation this summer, but Mom didn't like the idea that much. So we're not going anywhere. I guess we'll spend the summer in Kuina's garden with Aguni's barbecue.

Kaede went to Budo University. It's in Katsuura. Something about martial arts. It's a 1.5 hour drive, so he hires a place to stay at there, and comes back every weekend.

Mom's doing a lot better. So is Sakiko. I'm doing well, too. One of my professors said so. And at home, we're having good days again.

Hope you're alright, Hana.

Love,
Kaoru.

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To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: July, 2031.

Dear Hana,

Update from since my last email, to end July.

Miyu and Souta are beginning to question where you are. Nozomi shed a few tears a while ago, but other than that, we're fine. I'm still doing well. Bought a new deck a few days ago, and it's really cool. I added pictures of it to this email.

Hope you're alright, Hana.

Love,
Kaoru.
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To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: August, 2031.

Dear Hana,

Update from since my last email, to end August.

We're doing really good. Mom has accepted the fact you won't be coming back for a while. Dad is 'normal' again. Sakiko no longer throws tantrums. I'm doing my outer best at school and yeah, I guess it shows, so that's great. We do really miss you and hope you come back.

Hope you're alright, Hana.

Love,
Kaoru.

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To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: December, 2031.

Dear Hana,

Update from since my last email, to end December.

Sorry it took me so long to write to you. We're still doing well. So well that I forgot to write. Not in a bad way. We didn't forget about you. Not at all. We think about you so much that it kind of feels like you're still here. That's why I forgot to write.

Hope you're alright, Hana.

Love,
Kaoru.

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To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: December, 2032.

Hana,

Update from since my last email, to end December.

I lied.

We haven't been doing well. Not even for a second, even though it's been almost two years.

A few months after you left, Dad messed up a surgery and was extremely upset about it, even though he didn't show it. I mean, he showed it in his own way. He was grumpy, and cold, and you could not speak three words to him before he'd get annoyed.

Mom is actually seeing a therapist because she fell into depression not long after you left, and she lost a lot of weight.

Sakiko does still throw tantrums. She cries every night because she misses you and then gets angry at Mom and Dad because she knows it's somehow their fault that you left.

Me. Grades are still good. Doing quite alright. I saw Kiyoshi. He asked me how you're doing. I told him the truth.

Hope you're alright, too, Hana.

Love,
Kaoru.

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To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: December, 2033.

Hana,

Update from since my last email, to end December.

I lied again.

I'm also not doing well, and I'm tired of blaming Mom and Dad for it. This is on you. You left without a warning. You abandoned us. You trusted some stupid papers before actually talking to Mom and Dad.

I hate you. You've ruined our lives. You've ruined everything. How dare you? Come back. Just talk to us. There are other ways to cope.

I hope you're doing so bad that you're forced to come back.

- Kaoru.

●・○・●・○・●

Hana, in fact, is completely unaware of all these emails, because she logged out of that email address a long time ago. She's been living her life in Australia for three years now, and though sadness gnaws at her whenever it has the chance, she has been doing well at school, and her relationship with Seika is thriving. They even moved from a student room to a real apartment.

Only one year left.

Hana sits cross-legged on the couch, a bowl of pasta cooling beside her. Her laptop rests on her thighs. Seika is at the tiny kitchen counter, humming while pouring two glasses of sparkling water.

"You're quiet tonight," Seika says, glancing over her shoulder with the crooked smile Hana has memorized too well.

"Just tired," Hana replies. She stretches her arms and forces a smile. "Class was long today."

Seika hands her the glass, leans in for a kiss on the cheek, and sinks beside her. Their knees touch. Seika starts scrolling through something on her phone: photos from the beach last weekend. Hana looks too, laughing when she's supposed to. It's all routine now.

Later, when Seika showers, Hana steps out onto the narrow balcony. The city lights twinkle like stars. Her chest tightens. She tells herself she's happy. She is happy. She's in love. She's safe. She has a future. She made the right choice.

She repeats those things like prayers. But always, something aches.

She pictures Sakiko. She sees her mother's tired eyes. Her father's silence. Kaoru's voice in her mind. She brushes the thoughts away. It's not her fault. She had to leave. They made her. They lied to her. She didn't abandon them, she protected herself. She escaped.

Right?

Still, that sick feeling in her gut never quite fades. She exhales and glances back into the room where Seika is brushing her hair in front of the mirror, talking to herself about something Hana can't hear. The sight should bring peace.

Hana presses her back to the balcony wall. Slides down until she's sitting on the floor. She curls her arms around her knees. She cries. Quietly. So Seika won't hear. So even she won't hear.

Inside, Seika sits at their desk with her laptop in front of her. "Why do none of our emails work with this login?" she mutters to herself, clicking through account recovery screens. "What did we even register with...?"

Seika keeps trying and types in another variation. Then she pauses. And types again. She's good with computers. She finds a password Hana used to use years ago. It works.

Her eyes flick across the screen, scanning the latest emails, hoping for a code that will revive their account. Her lips part slightly as she reads. Her face goes pale.

Seika is not aware that Hana hasn't seen her family in three years. Hana kept telling her she was too busy to visit in vacations until last summer, Seika went on vacation with her parents, and Hana told her she would be visiting her own family in the meanwhile.

Now, reading this, Seika comes to the conclusion that was a lie. And that everything was a lie. She mentioned that Sakiko drew a horse and her mom sent a picture of it, but that must've been a lie. She said Kaoru and his friends hired a cabin for a few days and stayed there. A lie.

Seika reads every single email Kaoru has sent, and when she's still confused, she clicks on the emails Hana sent, and that's where she finds the one that started and ended it all at the same time.

Once she's done, she stands up so fast that her chair falls. She marches up towards the balcony. "What the fuck is this, Hana?" she breathes. "What is that email you sent to your parents?"

Silence. Hana's mouth opens in shock. She can't form the beginning of an explanation.

Seika stares at her. "You abandoned them?"

"It's not-" Hana swallows. "It's not what it sounds like."

"Then tell me what the fuck it is, because you never told me any of this!" Seika's voice rises. "You told me your family was fine. That you couldn't go back because of school. That you still talked to them a lot. You lied to me! For three years, right?"

Hana feels cornered. "I had to leave-"

"You didn't have to do anything. They were your family." Seika's finger trembles as she points it at her girlfriend. "I know your parents, Hana. I know Kaoru. You loved Kaoru. He loves you so much. You fucking-" she breaks off, pressing her hands to her face, then dragging them down. "And you just left?"

"I was hurting," Hana says, weakly. "They lied to me-"

"So you punished them by disappearing?" Seika spits out. "No goodbye? No visits? No replies? Jesus, Kaoru sent you dozens of emails."

"I never opened them-" Hana starts.

"That makes it worse!" Seika's voice cracks. "You let them scream into a void for three years!"

"I couldn't read them," Hana whispers. "I couldn't- every time I thought about them, I couldn't breathe. You don't know what they did-"

"What did they do, Hana?" Seika throws her hands up. "Because all I see in those emails is a kid who loves you. A mom who starved herself from grief. A little sister crying every night. And a father who clearly couldn't handle it either." Her voice turns bitter. "But no, sure, you're the only victim."

"That's not fair."

Seika stares at her. "No. What's not fair is that I've spent three years defending you every time you flinched at the idea of Tokyo. Every time someone asked about your parents. I thought you were just overwhelmed, or shy, or that there was something in your past. But no, you're just a liar. If you would've just told me..."

Hana winces. "Don't say that."

"Why not? It's true."

Tears spring up again, but Hana clenches her fists. "You don't know how it felt. I was lied to. For years. My entire childhood! I couldn't trust anything anymore."

"So you run?" Seika yells. "You just cut the cord and run, like it's nothing? You don't even let them talk? You don't listen? You didn't even tell me, Hana. Me. I'm your girlfriend. We're sharing an apartment. We've been sharing rooms and apartments for the past years! You're twenty-one, for God's sake! Old enough to handle this like an adult!"

Hana bites down on the sob rising in her chest. "I didn't want you to hate me."

Seika's face crumples. "So you just let me live with a version of you that wasn't real. I loved you, Hana. I love you, but I don't know who you are now."

"Please don't say that-"

"Every single day we've lived together, you kept this massive, horrific thing buried. How could you lie to me like that?"

Hana breaks down. She drops to the floor, sobs wracking her body. "I didn't know how to be okay! I didn't know how to fix anything! I thought if I stayed gone long enough, they'd forget me and be fine!"

Seika kneels too, but not to comfort her. She's crying now, too. "That's not how people work, Hana."

After a long silence, Seika stands up, walks to the bedroom, and shuts the door behind her. Hana stays on the floor, gasping.

●・○・●・○・●

The following weeks are completely quiet. They still sleep in the same bed. They still brush past each other in the kitchen. They still say 'good morning', but everything else that made their relationship work has gone completely still.

Seika doesn't bring up the emails again. Not directly. She doesn't ask Hana anything about Kaoru, or about Tokyo, or why she never replied. She changes her password on their shared accounts. She starts cooking her own food instead of making extra for two. She comes home later than usual and tells Hana less and less about her day.

Hana watches it happen. She wants to explain. To sit down and open everything. But every time she opens her mouth, she remembers how Seika looked when she said: "You let them scream into a void for three years."

And she closes her mouth again.

After two weeks, Seika starts sleeping with her back turned. At first, she's still sorting through what she feels. But on the fourth night of silence, when Hana tries to reach for her wrist under the blanket, Seika gently moves away.

Hana stares at the ceiling, eyes wide in the dark.

In the morning, Seika showers before Hana is awake and leaves her towel on the floor. Hana picks it up like she always has. But the action feels sad now.

"You know what hurts?" Seika finally says one night. "It's that I defended you. I thought something terrible had happened. But now I think the terrible thing was you walking away and pretending like we all should just understand."

Hana says nothing. She doesn't know how to justify it without sounding like the villain she's already been cast as. So she just murmurs, "I know."

Seika laughs bitterly. "No, I don't think you do."

Three weeks later, they go out together once for groceries. The silence in the car is thick. A favorite song comes on the radio, one they used to sing along to without fail. Neither of them even hums. When they get back home, Seika puts the milk in the fridge and leans against the counter, arms crossed.

"I told Kaoru I'd visit someday," she says suddenly.

Hana freezes. "You what?"

"I emailed him. Just to say I was sorry. That I didn't know. That if he ever wants to talk, he can."

"You went behind my back?"

"I went behind your lies," Seika snaps.

It escalates from there.

"You don't understand what they did," Hana shouts. "What they took from me. I trusted them and they betrayed me-"

"And yet they're the ones who wrote you for years, Hana. You don't abandon someone for making a mistake. That's not how love works."

"You think I'm not waking up every day wishing I could turn back time?"

Seika slams a cabinet shut. "Then do something. Stop crying about it and go fix it. Or is running the only thing you know how to do?"

Hana's throat closes up.

In the fourth week, they stop sleeping in the same bed. Seika moves to the couch without a word. Hana doesn't try to stop her.

And that night, Seika comes home late. Hana is still awake, sitting in the dark, reading one of Kaoru's emails for the hundredth time today.

"Do you still love me?" Hana asks quietly as Seika walks past.

Seika stops. Turns. Her voice sounds so tired. "I don't know."

Hana looks down. "I do."

Another long silence. Then Seika speaks. "Then why did you lie to me?"

"I didn't want to lose you."

"You already did." Seika exhales slowly, her hands trembling. She's been holding it in for weeks, giving Hana the space to say something real. But Hana hasn't. "I can't do this anymore. I've tried, Hana. I really tried. But this isn't working."

Hana looks up sharply, eyes wide. She's pale, visibly thinner than a few weeks ago, hollow-eyed and exhausted. "You mean us?"

Seika's lips press together for a moment before she nods. "Yeah. Us."

"But I-" Hana scrambles to her feet. "Seika, I love you. I know I hurt you. I know I made the wrong choices, but please don't-"

Seika holds up her hand. "You lied to me for three years. Three years, Hana. You had me convinced you were just too busy to visit your family. I made excuses for you. I told everyone you were focused, dedicated, driven-" She chokes, then swipes angrily at her eyes. "I shared everything with you. Everything. Every part of me. And you-"

"I didn't know how to tell you," Hana whispers.

"But you did know how to lie, didn't you?" Seika spits back.

"I was scared."

"You were selfish," she corrects. "You ran away and you built a whole new life pretending the old one didn't exist. You let Kaoru beg for your attention and never answered. You sat next to me every night and let me believe we were being honest with each other-"

"I wanted to be honest!" Hana cries.

"No, you wanted to be comfortable. You didn't want to face what you left behind, so you pretended it didn't matter. You pretended they didn't matter. And in doing that, you pretended I didn't matter either."

Silence. Hana's eyes fill with tears. Her fingers curl into fists at her sides. "I know I broke your trust," she says. "But you're all I have left, Seika. I can't lose you too."

"You already did. I trusted you with the worst parts of me. I told you things I've never told anyone. I brought you into my family. I thought we were safe. I thought we were real."

"We were," Hana pleads. "We are."

Seika shakes her head. "We were half. I gave you all of me. You only gave me what didn't scare you." She steps away from the counter. Walks to the hallway. "I'm staying with Yui for a while," she says. "Her flatmate just moved out. I'll come get my things in a few days."

"Wait," Hana stammers, her voice rising in panic. "Please, don't go. Just... just sleep here tonight, we can talk, we can fix this-"

Seika turns to face her, "You made choices. And now you have to live with them. Imagine how your family felt." She stands there for another moment, watching her. Then, "I love you. I still do. But I need distance more than I need love right now."

With that, Seika walks out the door.

And everything falls apart.

It starts slowly: missed deadlines, late assignments. Hana tells herself it's just stress. Just the breakup. She'll recover.

She doesn't.

She stops showing up to lectures. Stops responding to group project messages. Her classmates grow irritated, then worried, then distant. Her professors send concerned emails that she doesn't open. Her attendance drops below the required minimum. Her final thesis, the one she'd been preparing for since second year, sits untouched on her desk. A blank document on her laptop blinks at her every night.

Her friends notice the change. She shrugs them off.

"Just tired," she says. "I'll bounce back."

But the days keep slipping through her fingers.
But coffee replaces food. Her sleep schedule shatters entirely. Some nights she lies awake for hours. Other nights, she passes out in the early evening and wakes up in the middle of the night, mind full of Seika's face and Kaoru's emails.

Her parttime job lets her go. She doesn't fight it. Then come the finals. She doesn't go. The day of her thesis, she lies in bed staring at the ceiling, fully dressed, unmoving. Her advisor emails her that afternoon. "We're sorry to inform you that without a completed thesis and minimum course attendance, you are ineligible to graduate."

Hana stares at it, numb. Just like that, after four years, hundreds of hours of work, one broken family and one broken love, she fails.

She remembers asking her mother if she ever went to a university, and her mother said: Well, I did take a psychology course once, but I got depressed and never finished it.

Hana feels as if history is repeating. Her room becomes a mess of cups, textbooks, tissues, and silence. At night, she rereads Kaoru's last email like a punishment. I hope you're doing so bad that you're forced to come back. And now, maybe she is.

The curtains stay drawn for days. The air is thick with sleep and sweat and unopened food containers. The bed is twisted and tangled, trapping her beneath them. Hana doesn't move much anymore.

The tears ran out sometime between the university's rejection and Seika's absence. What's left now is a kind of numb buzz inside her chest that won't leave, not even when she stares at the wall for hours or counts the cracks in the ceiling.

It's been three days since she stood up properly. Five since she left the apartment. Seven since she ate anything solid. Time doesn't mean anything anymore.

Sometimes, she reaches for her phone and opens the email app. She doesn't read anything. She just watches the inbox fill. Deadlines. Bills. One from her landlord. One from the university reminding her to return her student card. She deletes them all.

Her phone battery dies. She doesn't charge it.

The nights are worse than the days. She lies there in the dark with her eyes open, thinking about Kaoru. About Sakiko. About her mom. Her dad. She remembers Kaoru's last email word for word by now.

I hope you're doing so bad that you're forced to come back. Her stomach tightens at the thought. She is. She really is doing that bad.

Sometimes, she wonders what would happen if she stopped existing. Maybe Seika would cry. Maybe her mom would light a candle. Maybe Kaoru would be angry again, and Sakiko wouldn't understand. Maybe they'd understand how much it hurt for her to leave.

She doesn't want to die, but she wants it to stop. She wants to stop waking up in this bed, in this apartment, in this country that never felt like home. She wants to stop seeing Seika's shampoo in the shower and the empty spot on the couch where they used to study.

She wants to go home. Yet she's terrified of what she'll find if she does.

She imagines the front door of their house. Imagines standing there with a suitcase. Would Mom answer? Would Sakiko recognize her? Would Kaoru slam the door in her face? Would her Dad finally show genuine happiness?

Her stomach clenches again. She doesn't deserve to go home. Not after what she did.

Hana lies awake for hours, barely blinking, her thoughts looping in brutal circles. I want to go home. I can't go home. I want this to stop. I don't want to die. I think I do. No. I don't. I just want to rest. Just for a while. I want it to be okay again. I want them to forgive me. I want to go home. I want to go home. I want to go home.

She eventually falls asleep from sheer exhaustion.

The next morning, she wakes up. And nothing is better. Nothing has changed. She pulls herself upright and sits on the edge of the bed. Go home, something whispers.

Go home.

●・○・●・○・●

Home.

She stares at the house in front of her. It's bigger than she remembers it to be, but then again, she just turned eighteen when she left, and now she's twenty-three. She spent four years studying only to fail, and then rested lifelessly in bed for another year, maybe two. She can barely keep track of it.

Now it's Wednesday afternoon in May.

Which means Kaoru must've graduated from his chemistry course one month ago.

Which means little Sakiko is no longer little.

Sakiko is eleven.

Which means her mother must be home, as often.

Which means her father is probably performing surgery right now.

Hana doesn't know how long she stands there, but when she finally walks up to the front door, her legs ache.

With a trembling hand, she rings the bell. Once. She waits two whole minutes. She rings again. She waits three minutes. Again. Four minutes.

Suddenly panicked, she presses the button for more than twenty seconds. What if they moved? What if they hate her so much they refuse to open the door? What if-

What if they all just happen to not be home? Hana takes a breath. Looks around. Across the street, she sees Aguni, Ann, Kuina, and Nozomi's house. And next to her old home, she sees Arisu, Usagi, Kaede, Miyu, and Souta's house.

Ultimately, she walks next door and rings another bell.

And absolutely terrified, she listens to footsteps thud down the stairs before the door clicks open.

"Hi, how are y-" Arisu stops dead in his tracks when he recognizes who it is.

Hana tries really hard to maintain eye contact. "Hi," she says, high-pitched.

Another ten seconds pass. Arisu looks like he's about to faint and scream at the same time. "Hi, eh, Hana- woah. Eh, hi. What are you doing here? Long... eh, long time no see."

Her bottom lip begins to tremble at the sound of his voice. That's all it takes. "Hi," she whispers again, even higher. "I... I came back. I missed you. All of you. B-but Mom and Dad didn't open the door and... and I didn't know where else to go," and then she's sobbing.

Arisu, a little lost, quickly pulls her into a hug. He pats her back. "It's okay. I also abandoned my family, and my family didn't even do things as bad as your family! Wait, no, I didn't mean it like that. But... it's okay. I understand. Even though your parents kind of redeemed themselves and made you grow up with love, I, eh, yeah, I totally understand. Totally. For sure-"

Hana starts wailing. "I'm so sorry, Arisu!" She cries out. "I'm so sorry! I missed you all so much and now they're never going to forgive me! No one is-"

"I forgive you!" Arisu says quickly. "I was never even angry, okay? Just sad. Alright, come in, come in. What can I get for you? I believe your father is at work, and your mother went out with Sakiko. No idea where Kaoru is. Kaede is at his university. I mean, he already graduated, not like it's been six years since we saw each other, but he likes being there or something. And Yuzuha is picking Miyu and Souta up from school, even though they're twelve and ten years old. Well, who even trusts their kids to wander off alone in Tokyo? Whatever- um... a drink?"

Hana shakes her head. "No, thank you."

"Food?"

"No, thank you."

"Game? I got a new one."

Hana shrugs. "I don't know. I... I just want to hide from everyone for forever. I'm too scared to face my parents. How will they react, you think?"

"I don't know. You can hide in my closet, if you want. My wedding ring got lost in there for, like, a year once. No one will find you."

Arisu lets her inside. The walls are dotted with photos, some recent, some old. There's one of Miyu wearing a flower crown, one of Souta covered in spaghetti sauce, and one of Usagi squinting at the camera. There's one of Hana too. An old one. She's maybe sixteen, hugging Kaede from behind. It hurts to look at.

"Wait, don't cry again," Arisu says as he notices her stiffen. He waves his hands like she's a wild animal he needs to calm. "We can take it down. We can draw devil horns on Kaede. I don't know. Do you want a blanket?"

She wipes her cheeks with her sleeve, sniffling. "No. I mean- yes. I don't know. Everything just feels like I left it, but it also feels like I never belonged here to begin with."

He guides her to the living room. There's a weird stuffed octopus on the couch, and the coffee table is littered with puzzle pieces, game controllers, and three different mugs.

"Don't sit on the octopus," he warns. "It's Miyu's squish. She'll cry if she finds a butt dent in it."

Hana steps carefully around it and sits on the floor instead.

Arisu plops beside her, stretching out like he owns the place. Technically, he does. He lives here (somehow). "Okay," he says "You missed a lot. Wanna hear everything, or do you wanna hide in the closet first?"

Hana lets out another watery chuckle. "Updates, please."

Arisu claps his hands. "Right! So. Let's start with the parents. Your mom, if I recall correctly, cried for roughly... well, she's still crying about it, so roughly six years! Your dad didn't cry, though Kuina and I have a bet that he once cried in your mother's arms in secret. Sakiko grew up confused, then furious, then sort of cool. Kaoru got real quiet, started smoking for a bit-don't tell him I told you that-and Kaede..."

Hana looks up at him, eyes wide. "What about Kaede?"

Arisu winces. "Well. He might've... lost his mind a little. Like. Only temporarily. But yeah."

She waits for him to continue.

"He didn't talk to anyone for months. We found out he has been going to some illegal boxing club since he was twelve. Except now he was, like, actively trying to get hospitalized every time he showed up. That friend Shindou had to pull him out of the ring once. Kinda crazy. I thought he was an honest kid, but well, compared to you, Kaede is an angel- wait, didn't mean it like that."

Hana stares. Her voice is barely a whisper. "I really don't know how to face them."

Arisu shrugs. "You already are. You came back. You rang the doorbell. That takes guts."

"Did I change?"

He looks her over dramatically. "Hm. Yeah. You're obviously older, yet-warning, I'm not a pedo-you're very beautiful. And I think your soul died a little bit, but in a poetic way."

"You didn't change at all," she says after a moment.

"Wrong. I lost my left big toenail in a tragic stair accident. Also, I learned how to bake muffins."

Hana raises her head. "More interesting than me."

"Yeah, it's-"

The front door creaks open. Hana hears it before Arisu does, and she freezes, eyes wide, face pale.

"I'm home!" comes Usagi's voice. Footsteps follow. The sound of sneakers being kicked off. Then two younger voices tumble in behind her. "Don't leave your shoes there," Usagi says. "And wash your hands before you touch anything, Souta."

"I didn't touch anything!" Souta protests.

"You touched my hair!" Miyu yells.

"That doesn't count!"

"It counts if your hand was gross!"

"Oh, well," Arisu mutters.

Hana's lungs stop working.

Usagi steps into the room first, a grocery bag in each hand. Her eyes land on Arisu, then trail toward the figure beside him. She stops. Her hands go still. Her mouth opens.

Miyu and Souta rush in a second later, Souta yelling, "I saw a lizard on the sidewalk and Miyu said it was a demon and-" until he stops.

Hana rises to her feet slowly. She tries to smile.

Usagi drops one bag onto the table and whispers, "Hana?"

Souta tilts his head. "Who's that?" he asks.

Miyu looks at the woman standing before her. "Looks familiar."

Hana's eyes brim with tears, but she holds them back, swallowing the lump in her throat. "Hi," she says quietly. "I-um... I'm Hana. You know me. You... you just don't recognize me. I'm Baya and Chishiya's daughter. You know, Kaoru and Sakiko's sibling."

Souta looks to Usagi, then to Arisu, then back to Hana. "Rewind."

Usagi steps forward. "Oh my God," she says. "It really is you."

Hana doesn't have the strength to respond. She just nods.

Usagi crosses the space in three fast strides and wraps her arms tightly around Hana without hesitation. The hug is warm and familiar. Hana stiffens, then breaks. Her arms wrap around Usagi's waist and her forehead falls against her shoulder. Her whole body trembles.

"I thought I'd never see you again," Usagi sighs. "We thought you were gone for good. Oh, Hana."

"I'm sorry," Hana chokes out. "I'm sorry for everything."

Usagi squeezes tighter. "You're here now."

Souta inches closer, frowning. "Ohh, that Hana. I think I remember you!"

Hana wipes her cheeks. She doesn't even have to crouch to look at the ten-year-old boy. She clearly gained her parents' height. "Hi," she says. "I'm very sorry for leaving."

Souta stares at her. Then, after a long pause, he shrugs. "Well... you look like a sad character, but you don't seem evil or anything."

Miyu elbows him. "You're not supposed to say that!"

"But it's true," he says defensively.

Hana can't help it, she laughs. "It's okay," she says. "I do kind of feel like a sad character."

"I remember you a little," Miyu admits. "Kaede always talked about you! I missed you, even though I don't remember all the stuff you said or did. It just felt weird when you were gone."

Hana's heart aches. She holds her arms open just a little, uncertain. Miyu dives in and hugs her tightly. Souta hesitates for half a second longer. Then he throws himself at Hana's side, almost knocking her over. "Okay, fine, I missed you too!"

They all laugh, and the sound is messy and overlapping and full of warmth. When they finally pull apart, Usagi brushes Hana's hair back from her face. "Have you eaten anything?"

"Not really."

Usagi shoots Arisu a dirty glance, who opens his mouth to defend himself, but before he can, Usagi is speaking again.

"Okay, then we're making rice bowls. You want your parents to see you looking half dead?"

"Actually," Hana says, wiping her nose on a tissue Arisu hands her, "I was hoping to avoid seeing them forever."

Usagi sighs and gives her a long look. "They're going to cry when they see you."

"That's what I'm afraid of."

"Do you want to knock on their door or should I ask them to come over? Should I give them a warning beforehand or do you want to give them a heart attack? Do you want to show up in front of your dad at the hospital or at home?"

"Ehh..." Hana hesitates, overwhelmed. "I don't know."

"I vote that you knock on their door without warning!" Souta says.

"I vote that, too, except instead of knocking, you just sit inside the house!" Miyu adds.

Arisu raises a hand. "I'm with Souta as long as we record the reaction."

●・○・●・○・●

Her feet drag across the path she hasn't walked in years. The same crack still runs through the third tile. The flowers along the side of the house have exploded in color. The light above the door buzzes.

She rings the bell.

And breathes out. She's about to raise her hand again when she hears a voice from inside-Sakiko. "Who is it? Mom, someone's at the door!"

More silence.

Then footsteps.

Then the lock turns.

The door swings open.

It's Baya.

Her eyes are still crinkled from whatever smile she must've been wearing seconds before. Her hair is tied in a messy ponytail. She has a dish towel in one hand.

When she sees Hana, the towel falls to the floor.

For a second, nothing happens. Baya's face doesn't move. Not her lips, not her eyebrows, not even her breathing. Then she whispers, "Hana?"

Baya lurches forward and grabs her, arms trembling. "Oh my God. Oh my God, Hana. Is it really-"

"Mama," Hana croaks, nearly breathless. "I'm home. I-"

Before she can finish, Baya's hands shoot up to cup her cheeks, then grip her arms, then slide down to her wrists and clench. And suddenly Hana isn't being hugged anymore. She's being held. Dragged.

"Inside," Baya snaps. "Get inside. Right now."

"Wait, Mom-" Hana stumbles, but Baya yanks her through the threshold. The door slams shut.

"You're not doing this to me."

"Mom-"

"Not again!"

The words ricochet off the walls. Hana stumbles as Baya shoves her backward, still gripping her arm. "Mom, you're hurting me!"

"Oh, am I?!" Baya's eyes are wide and glistening. "I gave birth to you, you selfish little-six years, Hana! Six years! I thought you were dead! You can't knock on my door like nothing happened!"

"I'm sorry," Hana gasps. Her knees hit the floor.

"Why didn't you call? Why didn't you write? Why didn't you tell us you were alive?!"

"I couldn't. I was scared."

"You were scared?!"

Chishiya appears at the end of the hallway, his surgical scrubs on, his face blank at first until he sees his daughter on the ground. The blood drains from his face.

"Papa, I'm sorry," Hana sobs. "I'm so sorry, Papa."

He practically collapses next to her, grabbing her shoulders like he needs to feel her bones to believe she's real. "Where were you? Where were you all this time?"

"I was trying to- I didn't- I failed- I couldn't-"

"You couldn't come home? You couldn't call me? You couldn't tell me you were alive?"

Baya still hasn't let go of her wrist. She's squeezing so tight that Hana feels the bones grind together.

"Let go," Hana whimpers.

"No," Baya breathes. "You don't get to run again. If I let go, you'll disappear."

"I won't! Mama, I won't!" Hana sobs even louder, this time from pain. "I'm right here! Please- please, you're hurting me-!"

"Good!" Baya snarls. "You want to know what hurting feels like?! I'll show you hurting! You think I didn't suffer every day without you?!"

"Mom- mama, please," Hana sobs, now on her knees and tugging helplessly at her own arm. "It hurts-"

Baya's hands tremble on her daughter's wrists, but her grip doesn't loosen. If anything, it tightens. Her fingers dig into flesh. "You think you can walk back in here, after six years and I'm just supposed to what? Hug you? Thank you? Applaud you for remembering we exist?!"

Hana's shoulders shake under her mother's fury. She tries to pull away again, gently at first, then with more urgency. "I'm sorry. I- I didn't know how to come back. I didn't know how to explain-"

"There is no explanation!" Baya shouts. Her grip clamps even harder. "You vanished. You-"

Chishiya stands back up. "Yuzuki. Let go. You're hurting her. We can-"

"She should hurt!" Baya snaps, without even looking at him. "Do you think I didn't hurt? Do you think Kaoru didn't cry in secret every night for a year? Do you think Sakiko even remembers what your voice sounds like? You ruined something, Hana."

"I know!" Hana cries. "I know. I know I broke everything, but please, please- you're hurting me-"

Her wrist is flushed, turning red where Baya's fingers clamp tight. Hana squirms, not trying to escape anymore, just trying to find any angle where the pain might lessen.

But Baya won't let go. Every breath Baya takes seems to fuel the anger inside her. Her thumb presses into the underside of the joint, while her nails dig in from the other side. She doesn't even seem aware of the pressure she's applying.

Her eyes have turned glassy and sharp. "I waited for you," she hisses, pulling Hana forward a few inches and then slamming her back to the ground. "Every single day. I left the porch light on like a fool. Every single night."

"I know, Mom-"

"You don't know!" Baya explodes. "You have no idea what we've been through! You think you're the only one who was hurting?!" Her voice breaks at the end, but her grip does not. "Six years of nothing. I thought you were buried in some ditch, or worse!"

"I'm sorry," Hana sobs, hot tears streaking down her cheeks. "I didn't mean- I didn't know how to come back. I didn't think I deserved to."

"And you don't," Baya hisses, but she is crying, too. "You don't deserve my forgiveness."

She lets out a pained whimper when the pressure becomes too much. "It hurts- you're hurting me-"

"Good!" Baya screams so loudly the walls seem to echo. "Then maybe for once, you'll understand."

Chishiya tries to pry Baya's fingers away. "Yuzuki. Let go now. You're going to break something-"

"Let her feel it," Baya snaps. "Let her feel every single second I stayed up! Let her feel something!"

"She's feeling it, Yuzuki. Look at her," Chishiya says, grabbing her shoulders now, trying to get her to stop. "You're scaring her. You're hurting her. You're not helping."

"Please, Mama," Hana cries. "Please, please, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry-!"

"Why didn't you let me help you?" Baya's voice breaks again. She shakes Hana like a ragdoll. "Why did you think I could live without knowing you were alive?! I was your mother! I am your mother! You don't get to choose whether or not that's true!"

Hana's other arm curls around her stomach as she bends over, her forehead pressed against Baya's knee. She's wailing.

"Every birthday passed. Every New Year. Every graduation. You never even congratulated anyone on anything! Sakiko is eleven now! You've missed her entire childhood! Kaoru graduated from university! You missed it all!"

"I know!" Hana peeps. "I know I ruined everything, I know I hurt you, I'm so sorry-"

"Sorry won't fix this!"

"Yuzuki," Chishiya says sharply. "That's enough."

"No, it's not!" she screams. "It's not enough until she feels every fucking second of it-!" She yanks Hana upright by the same arm. "You're not leaving again!" she yells as she drags Hana into the living room.

Hana trips, falls to one knee, but Baya keeps pulling. "Stop, please-it hurts," she gasps. "I know I was wrong, I know I hurt you, I'm so sorry, but I can't..."

Ten minutes pass like this. Ten minutes of dragging her from room to room, first the hallway, then the living room, then the kitchen. Ten minutes of Hana begging, crying, apologizing, and of Chishiya attempting to step in and failing due to Baya's blind anger. Ten minutes of something in Hana's wrist going very, very wrong.

And only then, when her body finally begins to slump in Baya's arms out of exhaustion, does Baya pause.

She looks down at the girl in her hands. At the swelling wrist. At her child's pale face.

She sees her. No longer the runaway, not the stranger, but her daughter. Her baby.

Baya gasps loudly, as if she's resurfaced from drowning. Her fingers twitch before she lets go. "Oh my God." She staggers backward, her hands trembling as she stares down at her own fingers. "Hana, I didn't-"

Chishiya is already on the floor beside Hana, checking her wrist and telling Sakiko, who they all forgot was still there, to grab the first aid kit.

Baya drops to her knees beside her to brush Hana's hair back from her damp face. "I'm sorry," she whispers. "I didn't mean... I didn't mean to hurt you. I just- I missed you so much I couldn't- I didn't know how-"

"I know," Hana mutters, tears spilling. "I know, Mama. Me too."

Baya shatters, one hand covering her mouth, the other hovering uselessly near her daughter's chest. She rocks back and forth, mumbling apologies over and over while Chishiya wraps Hana's wrist in bandages.

Then, when the cries have become quieter and they're resting on the couch, Sakiko appears in front of Hana.

"Are you my sister?" She asks.

Hana looks up. The eleven-year-old girl's hair is parted slightly sideways. It reaches just past her shoulders, and she has the same bangs as her mother and sister. Her face is structured almost the exact same way as her father's.

"Yeah," Hana responds hoarsely. "I am. Do you remember me?"

Sakiko nods. "A little. But I don't know if that's because I actually remember you or because everyone around here has mentioned you so often that I made things up in my head."

Hana also nods. "I'd love to catch up with you. You look really pretty, Koko. How's school?"'

"Good. I'm the top of my class," she says simply. "You looked pretty, too, before you started crying."

"Wow, ehm, thank you?" Hana stammers.

A short silence falls. Hana looks around. Nothing has drastically changed. Just a few normal furniture replacements.

"Is Kaoru home?" She finally asks.

"He's across the street. Either with Ann or Nozomi. Ever since he and Ann found out they share the same interests, they've become close, and Nozomi has been holding Kaoru together for the past years," Sakiko explains before their parents can.

Hana looks at Baya and Chishiya as if she has to ask for permission. "Could I go see him?"

Baya melts when she even looks at her daughter and immediately starts hugging and kissing her again. "Of course," she says between pecks. "Do you want to go there alone, should we come with you, or should we ask him to come home?"

"I'll go alone," Hana assures.

"Can't you explain anything first?" Chishiya suggests. "Where is Seika? Where have you been? Did you graduate? Have you-"

Hana is already crossing the street. This time, she rings the doorbell with less hesitation, even as her wrist aches and her heart pounds.

This is the reunion she dreads the most. Kaoru has finished university. He is twenty-four. Her brother is the same age as her parents were when they first met.

And that suddenly reminds Hana of something Kaoru had once said. Or rather, promised.

He would look into his father's office after graduating from university.