●・○・●・○・●
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE,
bitter reality

-

༇ THE past has baby teeth, but gnaws at you like normal teeth. The past falls apart and gets away from you like baby teeth, but always come back like normal teeth. The past might feel like baby teeth, long forgotten, but once adult teeth join in, it'll be with you for a while.

The dining room glows under the warm light of a single overhead lamp, casting soft halos over plates and clinking silverware. The family is gathered for dinner: Baya to the left of Chishiya, Sakiko beside her in a tiny seat, legs swinging as she happily crushes carrots with her spoon. Across from Baya: Kaoru, limbs longer than his parents', bags below his eyes due to his latest studies for exams before he can graduate from high school- only a few months left. Hana sits next to him, eating gracefully.

Conversation flows in the easy way of family meals. Chishiya eats quietly. Baya smiles at something Sakiko says about things she saw on TV. Hana can't stop kissing Koko's cheek because she's just that cute.

When it falls quiet, Kaoru speaks about his studies.

"So, today I studied history. The survival scenarios. Like real ones. Plane crashes and shipwrecks. One group had to eat the bodies to survive. Literal cannibalism. Isn't that crazy?"

Baya's hand freezes halfway to her glass of water. Chishiya's eyes sharpen.

Kaoru keeps going. "I mean, I guess I get it. If you're starving and there's nothing else, what do you do? But that's like the final line, right? The last boundary. Anyway, the teacher once said there were these people trapped in the Andes for weeks, and they only survived because-"

"That's enough," Chishiya says flatly. "We're eating normal dinner. No such time to talk about cannibalism."

Kaoru blinks. "Oh, sorry."

Baya swallows. Her throat burns. She forces her fingers to unclench from the fork, and to bring the next bite of food to her mouth without imagining what she ate all those years ago.

Sakiko hums to herself, scooping up mashed potatoes. Hana stares at her mother, then at her father, and back at her mother.

"It's interesting though. Isn't it?" She says. "I mean, when people are desperate. The mind does strange things. And morals don't matter as much when you're starving."

Baya's breath catches. She glances at Hana.

The girl isn't looking at her parents anymore. She's playing it off, circling a piece of broccoli on her plate with the tip of her fork- playing off the fact she knows something is going on and is trying to figure out what it is.

Chishiya notices it too. His hand stills.

Kaoru exhales. "Exactly. Like, no one wants to do it, but it's survival, right?"

"You have to wonder," Hana goes on, "what kind of person could actually go through with it. Would it be easier if the person was already dead? Or would that make it worse?"

"Hana," Baya says softly.

Hana glances up, all innocence. "I'm just saying, in the worst case scenarios, it's not about being evil. It's instinct. Right? Maybe some people are even proud of surviving like that."

There's a silence.

"Enough," Chishiya says again, this time to Hana.

She meets his eyes. Doesn't back down. "Why?" she asks coolly. "I thought it was just history."

Baya sets down her fork. "It's not appropriate dinner talk. We're trying to eat."

"But it's important," Hana insists. "I mean, don't you think it's worth discussing? Isn't it good to know what humans are capable of? What we're capable of? If we were put in the same situation, what would we do?"

"You'd be the first to die, Hana. You can't even go a day without snacks," Kaoru comments.

Hana ignores him. Her eyes are still locked on her parents. Baya's hands are shaking. She folds them under the table. Even Chishiya seems uncertain of the things Hana is saying.

"I just think it's weird," she says, slowly, "how upset you both got. It's not like anyone here has actually done anything like that. Right?"

Even Sakiko pauses now, spoon halfway to her mouth. It's as if the room itself ripples under the weight of that question.

"No, we have not done that," Chishiya tells Hana. "But the thought of consuming human meat doesn't comfort any of us, and especially not during dinner, so we'd appreciate it if we could talk about something else. You know your mother isn't a giant fan of meat in the first place."

"Okay." Hana shrugs, but she's still not convinced.

●・○・●・○・●

Later that night, Kaoru knocks on Hana's door, even though it's open. He leans against the frame, arms crossed, looking serious enough for Hana to straighten up from her spot on the bed.

Then comes in without waiting for an invite and sits on the edge of her bed. "That was weird tonight," he says. "Like... more than weird. They tensed immediately. I expected Mom to go like 'Ewww!' but she didn't." Kaoru rubs the back of his neck. "And Dad was acting strange, too. You saw how fast he shut it down." A long pause. "I think there's stuff we don't know about them. A lot of stuff."

Hana narrows her eyes. "Like what?"

Kaoru shrugs. "I don't know. But... haven't you ever felt it? Kind of feels like they're hiding things sometimes. Not... normal things that most parents would hide. I mean, think about it. Dad never gets scared. Mom is always sweet, but tonight? They looked like they'd seen a ghost."

"Well, you know they have a difficult past," Hana responds simply. "Dad even told you about some of the things that happened to Mom."

"I think he told me one of the thousands of things that happened to Mom," Kaoru corrects. "And what do we really know about their pasts?"

"Dad didn't have a nice father and Mom grew up in an orphanage."

"Well, did Dad have any jobs when he was a teenager? Did Mom? Has Mom ever worked a job other than at the cafe? We don't know things like that."

"Yes, we do. Dad told us Mom hasn't worked anywhere else before."

Kaoru shoots Hana a glance. "There's a gap."

"What do you mean?"

"In the story. Orphanage, Borderlands, family. That's the timeline we know about Mom."

"...and what gap are you talking about?"

"When you were upstairs with Seika one year ago, and Satoshi and Mom reunited, Satoshi explained he moved to Tokyo to find Mom again, but the orphanage told him that she left when she was nineteen, and they didn't know where she was."

"Probably hit by that meteorite-"

"Mom was twenty-four when she got hit by the meteorite, Hana. There's no denying that, because the year is to be found everywhere: 2010. There is a gap of five years in the story."

That leaves Hana speechless, but only for a moment. "Okay, so what? You think she was in the yakuza? Mom?" She scoffs.

"I don't know, but it was something strange, otherwise we would've known. What we also know is that Mom and Dad didn't like each other when they first met. In fact, I think they hated each other. They told us that. 'And oh, why didn't you like each other?' I'd ask, and they'd just say they thought the other was annoying. That's no reason to excessively tell us they hated each other."

Hana swallows. "Honestly, I... eh, I don't even know if I'm supposed to believe this whole Borderland story. It seems a bit unrealistic. They tell us what the Borderlands were but refuse to go into details."

Kaoru tilts his head. "Yeah. Exactly. Why do you think that is?"

"Because it's traumatic? Because it's hard to talk about?"

"Maybe," Kaoru says. "But... doesn't it feel like more than that? Not just trauma. Secrets. Think about it. Every time we ask something that goes even a little deeper, they shut down. Or deflect. Or get angry. I mean, Mom cried once when I asked what kind of games they played there. And Dad changed the subject so fast it was like I'd pulled a gun on them. And what kind of games even are these? They keep calling them 'games' like they were fun, but they both have PTSD."

"Do they?"

"Yeah, obviously."

"I've never noticed."

"Hana, trust me, it's incredibly obvious. You've never noticed? Seriously? You live with them."

"I don't go around diagnosing people."

"You don't have to. Just watch. Mom flinches when someone drops a glass. I'm not kidding. Dad doesn't flinch, he freezes. I've seen it a dozen times. And Mom has nightmares. Bad ones. You've heard her crying in her sleep, right? Dad never dreams. Or at least, he never sleeps deep enough to have them. He walks around the house at three a.m. all the time. I've caught him just sitting at the kitchen table in the dark."

"Maybe he's stressed," Hana offers weakly.

"Maybe," Kaoru echoes. "But he also never lets Sakiko sit on his lap if he hasn't heard the front door lock. You know that? You think that's just coincidence? One time the door wasn't fully shut and he practically yanked her off and walked over to lock it himself."

Hana stays silent now.

"All the family dinners?" Kaoru continues. "Why do you think we always sit the same way? Always? Nobody swaps places. It's not tradition, it's predictability. People with PTSD need that. They can't stand surprises."

"We don't know they have that. We're not doctors-"

"We don't have to be. We just have to listen. Watch them. Remember how they look when they think we're not paying attention. They hide it well, but it slips out."

"So what are you planning on doing?"

"I want to know everything about Mom and Dad," Kaoru explains. "But it'll take me weeks to plan it. Dad is too observant. He'll notice everything. And even if I make Mom say something, she'll tell Dad, and I'll get grounded for like ten years!"

"How will you even get information out of them?"

"Three options. One, Sakiko. Sakiko is the youngest child. Mom and Dad both fulfill all her wishes and desires. Two, I'll just gently start a conversation about the Borderlands with Mom. She'll tell me eventually, even if it takes hours."

"And thirdly?"

"Thirdly, Dad's office. He's hiding something in there. Whatever it is, it's dangerous and private. No man gets that angry at his children for simply entering his office. One time, I walked past his office, and he literally tensed up."

Hana blinks. "I think you've gone insane."

"I don't know. Whatever, I still need to wait a few years. I want to finish my university course before I find out more about the Borderlands. Dad's paying for the course and he'll probably stop giving me the money with no hesitation if I do something."

"Since when do you have a course? At what university? How much money?"

"University of Tokyo. It's a Bachelor of Science in Chemistry. Takes two years. Costs about 535,800 yen a year, plus lab fees, books, and transport, even though we live close, and all that crap."

Hana sits up straighter. "Dad's just giving you more than a million yen to study chemistry?"

"Yep."

"Then I can go to Australia!" Hana somewhat screams and jumps into the air. "Oh my gosh! I need to tell Seika! She and her parents have been saving money since forever so she can go and I only started saving a year ago, but Dad is offering to pay?"

"I think Australia is a tad more expensive than Tokyo," Kaoru points out. "Have you looked up how much it costs?"

"Yup. 27,800,00 yen," Hana says.

Kaoru's eyes widens. "That's a lot! He's never going to pay for that!"

Kaoru gapes at her. "You are seriously delusional if you think he's going to hand over almost thirty million yen just because you flash him puppy eyes."

Hana grins. "Watch."

Before Kaoru can stop her, she's already halfway down the hall, her phone clutched tightly, ready to text Seika the second she gets confirmation.

She finds Chishiya in his usual evening spot: at the kitchen table, one hand supporting his chin, lost in whatever is on his tablet. His eyes flick up the moment he hears her footsteps. "Shouldn't you be in bed?"

"I will be," she says quickly, stepping in with exaggerated lightness, the way Sakiko sometimes does when she's asking for candy. "I just... wanted to talk to you for a second." She slips into the chair across from him and folds her hands neatly on the table. Her voice softens. "You know how Kaoru's doing his degree in Tokyo?"

"Yes."

"And how you're helping him with tuition? All of it, actually. Which is super generous and amazing of you."

"Where is this going?"

"I was thinking that I might want to study abroad. Just for a few years. You know, expand my worldview, experience new cultures. Australia, maybe." She adds with a hopeful little smile, "Seika's going too."

There's a pause.

"Uh-huh," Chishiya says neutrally.

"And I looked it up, and it's a little more expensive than Tokyo-"

"How much?" he asks immediately.

She hesitates only for a beat. "Like... 27,800,000 yen. But! That includes everything! Tuition, housing, insurance, flights, food, textbooks-"

"That's more than my first apartment building."

"But you love me more than your first apartment building," Hana says sweetly.

"That's debatable."

"Daddy," she pleads. "Please. It would mean the world to me. And Kaoru's studying something serious, and I promise I'll study something serious too-"

"What exactly are you planning to study in Australia?"

"...Education and Social Work. I'm just... trying to figure out what I want to be!"

"That's a very expensive identity crisis."

Hana pouts. "So is Kaoru's lab stuff! And you didn't question him once!"

"I did. He just didn't try to manipulate me like a toddler."

"Okay, ouch," Hana mutters.

"So you're saying if I pay for this, you'll go, study hard, and not treat it like a four year vacation?"

"Yes. I'll even send you my grades every semester. And I'll call every week. And I'll come home for every holiday. And I'll-"

"Fine."

Hana blinks. "Wait, what?"

"I said fine," Chishiya repeats. "But I want a full breakdown of the school's cost, all program details, and a signed agreement that if your GPA drops below 3.0, you're paying me back every yen."

Her mouth falls open. "Seriously?"

"Seriously."

She jumps out of her seat, runs around the table, and throws her arms around his shoulders. "You're the best father ever in the history of fathers! You're seriously okay with this?"

"You've got exactly one week to convince me this isn't just about following your friend to a warm country with better beaches."

Hana pulls back just far enough to beam at him. "That's totally not the reason." She doesn't return to her seat. Instead, she plants herself sideways in his lap.

"You are not six anymore. You're turning seventeen in less than a month."

"But you said yes to my dreams," she replies sweetly, folding her arms around his neck and grinning. "That gives privileges."

"I didn't say yes. I said fine."

"Which is the same thing."

Kaoru peeks at them, "I would have gotten disowned for pulling half of that."

"You're not cute enough," Hana says.

Kaoru rolls his eyes and disappears into the living room.

Chishiya looks down at Hana, one brow still slightly arched. "Do you plan to sit here all night?"

"Yes."

They sit like that for a while, Chishiya slowly finishing his tea, and Hana talking about the university programs she'd glanced at, the courses she wanted to try, how she'd love to help kids, how she thinks she might become a teacher. He listens in silence.

At one point, Hana yawns loudly and nestles in closer. "I might fall asleep," she mumbles.

"You'll break my hip."

She snorts but doesn't move.

Eventually, Baya passes by the kitchen and stops short at the sight. "...Is this normal?"

"No," Chishiya says.
"Yes," Hana says at the same time.

Baya smiles softly and carries on without further comment.

●・○・●・○・●

"Why don't you understand?" Nozomi groans, giving Aguni a pointed look. "It's not that difficult. Hana is bi-sex-ual. It means she can like boys and girls."

"That sounds greedy."

"Aguni," Kuina snaps. "Shut up."

"I'm not saying it's bad, I'm saying pick one."

"She did! She picked Seika. So now she's dating Seika. And if they ever break up, then Hana could possibly date a boy-"

"-like Kaede," Kuina interrupts, pouting. "I feel so bad for him."

"That's his problem." Nozomi scowls. "Not Hana's. He should give up. She's clearly not into him."

"Harsh," Kuina mumbles, offended.

"So, hang on. She's dating Seika. She likes girls," Aguni says.

"And boys," Nozomi adds.

"But right now it's girls?"

"Yeah."

"I still don't get it."

"You don't have to. You just have to not say dumb things and nod when appropriate."

"I am nodding."

"You're grimacing."

"Same thing."

Ann sighs, lifting her sunglasses to look at the trio for one second before she goes back to launching on the beach chair. They're currently in the garden, in the March sun, and Nozomi has been trying to explain the term 'bisexual' to Aguni without getting frustrated halfway through.

Nozomi turned sixteen just a few days ago, and invited the entire 'family' only to play board games with Kaoru half of the time. Hana spent her time playing with Sakiko-who turned five also just a few days ago-, Miyu, six, and Souta, four while Kaede sat with the parents and quite enjoyed their conversations.

"How are things with Kaoru-"

"Mom!" Nozomi peeps. "I told you I don't even like Kaoru! He's two years older than me! He's literally an adult! He's graduating in like two weeks! He's eighteen-"

Nozomi gets interrupted by a sudden 'plop' that's the sound of Arisu climbing over the fence and landing flat on his back in their garden. Everybody freezes.

"Um, hello to you, too," Kuina says awkwardly. "We have a front door."

"Don't," Arisu lifts a finger, "even mention doors. I hate doors. Doors are so useless. Like, what's the point of using doors if you don't lock them?"

"Are we supposed to answer that?"

"No, but some nude white-haired man does!" Arisu yelps, standing up only to start pacing around. "I hate him. I hate him so much. I've seen his naked body more times than I've seen my own wife's!"

"Three kids," Nozomi murmurs, calculating, "so you've seen him naked at least three times?"

"Yes! Oh, God- yes. And this time it was worse than the other two times combined-"

"Papa!" Someone yells from the other side of the fence.

Kuina jerks up. "You left your daughter on the other side?!"

"Better than throwing her over!"

"Why did you even jump into our garden in the first place?"

"It's the only place that feels innocent!" Arisu walks towards the fence. "I'll come get you, Miyu, don't worry." And instead of walking out of the garden through the door, he climbs onto the high fence, leans towards the other side while his legs are left dangling in the garden, lifts Miyu up, and falls back to the ground with his daughter now on top of him.

"What exactly happened?"

"If I say that, I think you'll never be able to look at Chishiya the same again."

"Don't give the details, obviously," Ann mutters.

Arisu still paces. Dirt clings to the back of his shirt. His hair sticks out in strange directions.

"Do we... need to call a therapist?" Kuina asks after a long silence.

"You're being dramatic," Nozomi says flatly. "What even happened?"

Arisu turns to them, eyes wide. "I went to pick up Miyu. From here. Because she was playing with Sakiko. Normal, innocent activity. I ring the bell. No answer. I try calling Baya. No answer. I try the back door. Unlocked."

"Oh no," Kuina murmurs.

"Oh yes," Arisu hisses. "I go inside. The living room is empty. I hear a noise. I think, oh, maybe the kids are upstairs. I go up the stairs. I call out. Still nothing."

Everyone leans in, interested. Even Aguni looks slightly awake.

"And then," Arisu says, voice dropping like a horror movie narrator, "I reach the end of the hallway. And I hear it."

"Hear what?" Nozomi whispers.

"A sound."

"...Like music?"

"Carnal."

"Oh my God," Kuina gasps, sitting up. "No."

"Yes."

"No!"

"Yes! I walked into the room-I don't even know what room it was-thinking maybe they were in there with the kids. And instead, I-" He begins to sway.

Nozomi fake gags. "Ew!"

"I didn't even know where Chishiya started and Baya ended!" Arisu wails. "They were... folded together like... like, I don't know!"

"Why didn't you knock?" Ann asks.

"I did!" Arisu says. "I knocked! I called! I tried every polite human thing possible! But no! They were too deep in each other to notice and I didn't hear what was going on until I opened the door!"

"How were they doing it exactly?" Nozomi wonders, trying not to sound curious.

"No." Arisu glares at her. "You don't want this in your mind. Nobody should have this in their mind. This is why ancient people gouged out their eyes."

Ann lowers her sunglasses. "Top or bottom?"

"Mom!" Nozomi gasps.

"I don't know who was what!" Arisu peeps.

Kuina starts crying with laughter.

"I will never unsee it. But apparently, Miyu wasn't even playing at theirs, she just walked out of our house and somehow met up with Sakiko and played outside!"

"Was Baya at least-" Kuina starts.

"No. No more questions."

●・○・●・○・●

By the time Arisu has somewhat recovered from that, Kaoru is already almost done with his first year at the University at Tokyo.

Things have been going well. It's surely a high level, but with enough studying, he makes it just fine. Meanwhile, Hana is literally freaking out about her high school exams, because if she doesn't pass, she can't go to Australia at the same time as her girlfriend Seika.

Yet today, she feels more relaxed. She's on her bed with Seika, sharing a blanket as they watch a movie. Hana's head is on Seika's shoulder, who's resting her hand on Hana's thigh. Sakiko is long asleep, Kaoru is in his room, Baya is next door to catch up with Usagi, and Chishiya is doing whatever at the hospital.

"I've already packed for Australia," Hana murmurs suddenly, pointing at her suitcase in the corner of the room.

Seika chuckles. "You'll still have to wait a few months."

"I'm just so excited. I like it here, but Australia seems so cool, even though I'm absolutely terrified of all those animals,"Hana says joyfully. "I-"

She stops suddenly.

Seika frowns. "What?"

Hana points out of the window, towards Arisu and Usagi's house. At their roof, in fact.

"I don't see anything."

"Near the window."

Seika squints her eyes, and then she finally sees it: Kaede climbs through the window of the attic, then walks across the roof, and starts climbing back down to the ground.

The two girls share a quick glance. Seika raises an eyebrow. "Thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Unfortunately," Hana says.

Just like that, they each put their shoes on and hurry after Kaede right before he disappears around a corner.

"Where do you think he's going?" Seika whispers as they cross the street.

"Nowhere good," Hana mutters.

The girls follow at a distance, staying in the shadows. Kaede crosses two streets, cuts through an alley, and hops over a fence. Hana's breath fogs in front of her. Seika's hand brushes hers, and Hana grabs it.

They squeeze between two buildings, down a corridor. Hana squints. "I think he's... wait, where'd he go?"

Seika tugs her to the right. "There."

A faded red door creaks open, just before closing again behind Kaede. Nothing else but a weird symbol scratched into the wall: a pair of boxing gloves crossed over a skull.

"Oh," Hana breathes. "Is this a boxing club?"

Seika stares at the symbol. "This feels illegal."

"That's because it probably is."

They look at each other. And then, of course, they go inside. The moment the door shuts behind them, the sound hits: heavy music, shouting, and the rhythmic slap of gloves hitting flesh. The air smells like sweat and blood and something vaguely metallic. The lighting is awful.

Hana pulls Seika closer by the hoodie. "This is insane."

"This is amazing," Seika corrects, eyes wide.

They slink along the wall, heads down, trying not to draw attention. No one seems to notice them. Everyone's too busy yelling or gambling or slapping each other's backs. The ring contains two guys going at it like their lives depend on it.

Hana's stomach flips. "I don't think this is normal boxing."

"Probably not," Seika says, grimacing. "Is that guy missing a tooth?"

Then they see Kaede, wrapping tape around his wrists. He's stripped down to his tank top, focused.

"What the hell," Hana whispers.

"He's going to fight? He's gonna get killed."

"I'm going to kill him," Hana mutters. "Is this what he's been doing at night? No wonder he's always covered in bruises."

"He's not even using gloves."

The next fight ends with a KO, and the crowd explodes in cheers and shouts. A man with a buzz cut steps into the center of the ring and yells over the noise, "Next match!"

Kaede walks toward the ring.

Hana forgets how to breathe. "He's not seriously-" she starts.

"He is," Seika says simply.

The opponent is twice Kaede's size, covered in tattoos and grinning.

Hana grabs Seika's wrist. "We have to stop him."

Seika shakes her head. "He'll never forgive you if you do it before the fight. We let him survive a few minutes. Then we drag him home."

"Okay. Fine. But I'm not helping him lie to his parents."

"Fair."

The bell rings.

Kaede is fast. Surprisingly fast. He dodges the first punch, then lands a hit to the guy's ribs. Hana can't look away. Her heart is thudding so loud it matches the beat of the music.

Two minutes in, Kaede's lip is split and his eye already swelling, but the other guy is limping.

By round two, Seika is yelling, "Duck! Duck! Uppercut- YES!"

Hana is frozen to the spot, clutching the metal rail at the edge of the crowd. The crowd roars around her. "He's seriously going to win," she says, but her voice gets swallowed by the screaming around her.

"Of course he is," Seika mutters next to her.

Hana turns her head to respond, just in time to see someone stumble between them. A beer spills onto the floor. A couple shoves past, yelling at a guy. A large man steps into the narrow gap between her and Seika, and then Seika is gone.

Hana straightens. "Seika?!"

She pushes forward, trying to see past the shifting bodies and raised fists.

"Seika!" she yells again, louder.

Nothing.

She looks to her left, then to her right. Her pulse races. The room blurs with smoke and bodies and heat.

The crowd keeps erupting. Hana whips her head around. Someone shoves past her. A hand bumps her shoulder. She grips the railing to keep from falling. "Seika!" she tries one more time.

Still nothing.

Hana inhales deeply and decides to push through the crowd of people, still yelling for Seika. She asks a drunk man if he's seen a girl with outstanding short hair, she asks a woman covered in tattoos, and asks another girl about her age.

She spins on her heel, searching for any glimpse of her, the familiar oversized denim jacket, or Seika's unmistakable stride. But nothing.

"Seika!" she yells.

She shoves between two men who bark curses at her, then around a couple wrapped in a kiss, then past a table where someone is half-conscious, face in a plate of fries.

She reaches for her phone in her pocket, fumbling, and unlocks it with a shaky hand. No Service. "Seriously?" she mutters. "Of course."

"Excuse me?" Hana taps another girl's shoulder. "Have you seen a girl with short here, just past her ears? She's wearing a big jacket and-"

"I haven't seen anyone," the girl responds. She looks Hana up and down for a second too long. "It's better to stay still if you lose someone. Will make it easier for them to find you. You can stay with me. It's less busy here." She motions around.

Hana nods gratefully at the girl. She's decently tall, with a revealing outfit and sharply-cut bangs. "Thank you."

The girl continues watching the fight. "I like that guy." She motions at Kaede. "He's been one of the best fighters since he was fifteen."

"F-fifteen?" Hana stammers. "Him?"

"I mean, I've been told he first fought when he was twelve, but he got good at fifteen."

Almost six years. Kaede has been going here for almost six years. "Oh," Hana says. "I didn't know that."

"Do you know him?" The girl wonders.

"Yeah. He's my friend. Neighbor. Something like that." She waves it off. "I didn't know he's been fighting here for so long."

"What's your name?" The girl then asks. "My parents insist they know that guy's parents." She points at Kaede once again. "Maybe they know yours, too."

"Hana Chishiya." Hana holds out a hand.

The girl shakes it. Her grip is firm. Too firm. "Chishiya?" She repeats.

"Uh-huh. That's my dad. What's your name?"

"Hotoke Niragi."

"Rings no bell to me."

"Is your mother Yuzuki Baya?"

Hana startles. "Um- yes. Why? Do you know her?"

Hotoke nods. "Very well. And your father, too."

"Really?"

Hotoke nods once again. "Sorry, I can barely hear you! Should we go over there?" She eyes the corner of the boxing club. "It's quieter there!"

Hana hesitates, glancing around for Seika.

"It gives more overview, too," Hotoke adds.

"Alright." Hana simply follows Hotoke to the corner, where they lean against the wall. And indeed, it's quieter and offers a bigger view of the boxing club. "So how do you know my parents?"

The corner of Hotoke's lips lifts. She licks them for a quick second, revealing a silver piercing in her tongue. "Would you mind if I told you a little secret?"

Hana frowns. "Huh?"

"Would you mind if I told you a little secret?"

●・○・●・○・●

The door slams behind her with a metallic clang that echoes into the night. Cold air bites her flushed skin. She stumbles out onto the back alley behind the boxing club, barely managing two steps before she doubles over and hurls the contents of her stomach onto the pavement.

Her knees hit the ground next. Her hands follow, palms scraping asphalt, cold and trembling and sticky with sweat. Her breath comes in short, ragged gasps. Her whole body shakes.

Hana retches again. Nothing comes out. She spits, wipes her mouth with the back of her sleeve, then curls into herself. Knees drawn to her chest. Face buried in her arms.

Her ears ring. It's like the world turned inside out. Her teeth chatter even though she's not cold. Her lips tingle with the taste of vomit and something bitter.

She doesn't even know what to do with the feeling. She can't tell if she's furious at her parents, at herself, at Hotoke Niragi, or at the universe.

A voice calls her name. She doesn't answer. Then again, closer.

"Hana?"

She lifts her head, barely.

Seika sprints into view. "Oh my-are you okay? Are you sick?" She drops to her knees beside her, hands hovering but not touching.

Hana tries to speak, but her voice won't come. It dies somewhere in her throat.

Seika wraps her jacket around Hana's shoulders. "Let's get you out of here." She tucks Hana's damp hair behind her ear with one hand while the other steadies her. She doesn't wait for Hana to respond. Instead, she loops her arm securely around Hana's waist, stands, and lifts her up with surprising ease.

"I can walk," Hana says weakly.

"Nope," Seika replies, without looking at her. The walk home is quiet. Hana doesn't say much, head resting against Seika's shoulder. She lets herself be guided.

They finally reach the Chishiya house, and Seika pulls Hana's keys from her pocket. She opens the front door like she's done it a hundred times before.

Inside, the house is dark and still. Kaoru's door is closed. The hallway clock ticks softly.

Seika moves straight to Hana's room. "Bed," she says, helping her sit. "Shoes off. Arms up."

Hana obeys wordlessly. Seika tugs off her hoodie before she leaves the room for a second, says something to Kaoru, and returns with a damp cloth and a water bottle.

"You need anything?" she asks.

Hana shakes her head and just leans into her. Seika wraps an arm around her. "I'm scared."

"Mhm."

"I wish I hadn't seen or heard it."

Seika, assuming she's talking about the boxing club, nods, "I know, baby," and continues stroking Hana's hair.

Almost an hour later, someone knocks.

Hana stiffens. Her entire body reacts before her brain can stop it.

Seika sits up slightly. "Want me to get it?"

"No-! No. Don't move. Don't say anything."

"Hana?" It's Chishiya's voice. "You awake?"

Seika glances at Hana with a confused, concerned look. Hana doesn't return it.

"I just wanted to check in," Chishiya says after a pause. "Kaoru said you were sick."

"I'm okay," Hana calls back.

"You don't sound okay," Chishiya says. "Can I come in for a second?"

"No. I'm just... I'm really tired. I want to sleep. Please."

Another pause. Long enough to make her stomach twist.

"Alright," Chishiya finally says. "Goodnight."

She doesn't answer. Not until his footsteps disappear entirely. Only then does Hana fall back against Seika, trembling slightly.

Seika wraps her arms around her again, tighter this time. "Okay," she murmurs. "You could've let him in for a second."

"I didn't want to."

"He's your dad."

"Still didn't want to."

Seika doesn't push. She exhales against Hana's neck, adjusting the blanket around both of them.

●・○・●・○・●

The next day, Hana wakes up before Seika, and texts her that she'll be on a walk. She can't stand being in this house for another second.

When she passes Baya in the whole way, she walks downstairs as fast as she can, and barely acknowledges her father at the kitchen table. She just puts on her shoes and jacket and leaves with her keys in her pocket.

Her mind is spinning. She's not sure who to go to. None of the adults will tell her anything. Hotoke said she only knows a quarter of it. And if that story was a quarter of it all, then Hana is utterly heartbroken.

Once Hana is far away from home, she sits down on a bench and takes her phone out, searching for a list of the meteorite survivors, and picks a random name. That name, she searches online, and finds a number of.

The person who responds to her call, however, tells Hana that the person died a few months after the meteorite hit, because they landed in a second coma and never came out of it. The number had to remain available due to a running business, though.

"-but I have papers if you want them," the person on the other end offers. "They've been lying here since forever and they feel too important to throw away. You can have them for all I care."

So Hana picks up the papers from the large house, and flees into the library furthest away from home, where they won't find her. She sits all the way in the back, hidden in a corner with the papers on the table.

CLASSIFIED DOSSIER - BORDERLAND OVERSIGHT.
PLAYER OBSERVATION/TIME LINE STATUS.
compiled by: Oki Yaba.

Hana reads. And reads. And reads. She reads about quite literally every piece of all those people's lives, though it's mainly focused on two people: her parents. And whoever Oki Yaba is, he's not glorifying any of it.

The pages crackle as she turns them. Her fingers tremble. The dossier is brutal. statistics. Movements. Dialogue. Observations.

Names she recognizes surface: Aguni, Kuina, Arisu, Usagi. Her father and mother.

She tells herself not to read the next one. Then she does.

Hours pass. The library shifts into late afternoon. She hasn't moved. Not even to eat. A bottle of water sits untouched beside her elbow. Her legs are numb. Her chest is tight.

The documents become harder to read as her vision blurs, tears pressing against her eyes without falling. She leans forward, elbows digging into the table, hands in her hair, mouth parted in horror. Her heart beats violently inside her chest.

This can't be real. It can't be. But it is.

Every line is so specifically detailed with things no one could've made up. If this is fiction, then the person who wrote it was a monster. But if it's true, then her parents are worse.

She pushes the chair back so fast it screeches. The sound makes the librarian flinch. Hana doesn't even look up. She clutches the folder tightly to her chest and rushes to the bathroom, bursts into the stall, and slams the door shut.

She vomits again. It hurts more this time. Her stomach is completely empty. When she finishes, she slides down against the stall wall, forehead pressed to her knees.

Hotoke's little secret was just the beginning.

She had told Hana about how she, her mother, and her sister work at the black market. She told Hana that Baya also worked at the black market for five years: the gap Kaoru was talking about.

She talked about how Hana's mother killed Hotoke's father, claiming she cared about that guy even when she didn't- something Hana doesn't know. Making it sound more dramatic than it is.

Telling her that they got a new father figure, and that men knocked on their door when Hana was six to get the money Baya owed them. The same men Chishiya killed a few days later.

Yet another person Hotoke 'cared' about: gone.

Except Hotoke didn't tell Hana she never knew Niragi. She didn't tell Hana that she used Niragi's last name as a disguise at the black market- why the hell would someone possibly want to carry their mother's rapist's name?

So Hana, with no clue of that part of the story, found out her father killed three people while he already had two kids, and Baya made a man disappear.

But the documents told her worse.

Only for his own satisfaction, her father set her mother up for rape. He betrayed her, partly to get revenge because apparently, she was going around stealing organs for five years, indirectly killing people.

Her mother is a cannibal. Her mother also betrayed her father, stabbing him with a syringe and, according to Oki Yaba, immediately diving into bed with another man, because she was selfish enough to choose her past over the man she loved-

It's too much, because it's everything. Every fragment of their life got exposed to Hana. Every fragment.

For a long time, she doesn't move. Then, with a shaking hand, she takes her phone out of her pocket. She has thirteen missed calls. Fourteen now. The screen lights up with Mom.

She declines it. Without hesitation. Then Dad. She turns off her screen. She can't look at them. Can't hear their voices. Not now. Maybe not ever.

Her parents. Her kind, helpful, funny parents. Her safe parents.

She feels like she's been tricked her entire life. Gaslit from birth. Like she was born on a stage and everything after that was just a performance to keep her from ever knowing the truth.

Look how perfect our family is. Look how much we care. Look how we support you. Just don't ask questions. Just don't look back. Just don't wonder why we flinch when the news shows meteorites.

Her hands shake as she tucks the folder back into her backpack, zips it up, and rises from the floor. She splashes cold water on her face. It does nothing. Her skin is pale. Her eyes red and puffy.

And the next morning, Hana walks into the kitchen as if nothing happened.

She's dressed in a soft cardigan that Baya once complimented. Her hair is brushed neatly, pulled back with the blue clip that Chishiya bought her last year. "Good morning," she says, pouring herself a cup of tea. "Did you sleep well?"

Chishiya looks up from the newspaper. Baya pauses mid slice of an orange. They exchange a quick glance.

"Morning," Baya says slowly. "We-uh... yeah. We slept okay. Were you okay yesterday, honey? We didn't see you-"

Hana nods, setting her cup down as she pulls out a chair. "I was doing good. Thank you, Mom. I just needed some air." She takes a small sip, eyes fluttering shut for a second.

Chishiya folds the newspaper. "You feeling better?"

"I am," Hana chirps. "Seika took good care of me. I just needed rest and space, I think."

"You ran out without telling anyone."

"I know. I'm sorry," she says. "I didn't mean to worry you. I just needed to be alone. I really appreciate you both respecting that."

Chishiya tilts his head, not quite convinced, but not pushing it either.

"Oh, and I wanted to ask if Australia has been confirmed yet. Since I'm always graduating."

"Yeah, we already agreed on that, didn't we?"

Baya's bottom lip moves forward. "You're getting so big."

"I'll call every day. I'll FaceTime," Hana promises. "I'll send pictures. I'll do everything you want. I'll even let you stalk my location."

Chishiya lets out a faint breath of amusement. "You're almost eighteen. We can't keep you in a box."

Baya still looks hesitant, but she doesn't stop him.

"Thank you," Hana says, rising and wrapping her arms around her mother first. Then she hugs her father. "You won't regret it."

She kisses Baya's cheek and squeezes Chishiya's hand.

●・○・●・○・●

Shindou

Officially done.

What now

She's leaving. Today. I'll probably never see her again

Don't be dramatic
Holidays exist

Still, it's not like she'll come back for me specifically
Her girlfriend is literally coming with her

Get off your phone and go give her a hug then

Kaede sighs.

The airport is strangely quiet that morning. Hana and Seika's flight is in an hour.

Her passport is in her hand. Her suitcase is beside her. Everyone came. They're all gathered around her, trying to keep it together.

Kaoru stands stiffly by the window, arms crossed. He hasn't said a word in ten minutes. Kaede's sitting on one of the nearby benches, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. When Hana glances over, he immediately looks away.

Nozomi is shifting from foot to foot. Miyu keeps poking her head around people's legs to peek at Hana.

Sakiko, standing beside Chishiya, glares at the airport.

Hana breathes in through her nose. "Alright," she says, voice light, "are you guys gonna let me leave or what?"

Baya immediately bursts into tears. "I knew I wasn't ready for this."

"Oh my God," Hana mumbles, stepping forward to hug her mother. "Don't make this harder than it already is."

"I don't want you to go," Baya whispers into her shoulder. "Even if I said yes. Even if I agreed. I hate this."

"I know. I know." Hana squeezes her. "I'll call all the time."

"You better."

Kaoru finally steps forward, grabs her wrist, and yanks her into a hug that nearly knocks the wind out of her. "Take the hoodie."

"What?"

"The one I lent you. You said it was lucky."

"Oh. Okay." Her voice cracks. "Thanks, Kaoru."

He lets go, nods once, then moves back before he cries in public.

Kaede steps up next. "You could still stay."

"Kaede."

"Just saying. Australia's stupid."

"You're stupid," she mumbles, not mentioning the boxing club.

He gives her a sharp smile and wraps her in a one armed hug. "Be safe."

"You too."

Nozomi hugs her next, whispering, "Bring me something weird from Australia."

"I'll bring you the weirdest thing I can find."

Miyu clings to Hana's leg. "Don't go! You're my Hana!"

Hana squats down. "I'll always be your Hana. And I'll come back before you can miss me too much."

Sakiko sniffs. "I miss you already and you haven't even left."

"Don't get all mushy now. You're the mean one."

"Not to you."

Hana grins, hugs her, and then turns to the adults.

Ann steps forward with a small wrapped present. "Books. Boring ones. Read them anyway."

Heiya gives her a long, warm hug and tucks a little charm bracelet into Hana's palm. Aguni claps a firm hand on her shoulder. Kuina doesn't say anything. She just pulls Hana in and hugs her.

Arisu looks like he aged five years overnight. "Don't forget to eat."

"I won't."

Usagi adds, "Or sleep."

"I'll try."

Chishiya doesn't move at first. His arms are crossed. When he finally steps forward, it's with his usual calm. "I'll be sent the moment you skip class."

"You're lying."

"I'm serious."

She smiles softly, "Okay," and hugs him while trying to hide the disgust running through her body right now. What kind of man betrays a woman and doesn't help her when she gets raped?

"Don't disappear," he says.

"I won't," Hana replies, pressing her forehead to his shoulder. "I'll come back."

Souta simply walks up, raises his hand, and high-fives her.

Hana glances sideways, to where Seika is telling her parents goodbye. When she's done, they grab each other's hands, wave one last time, and then walk away.

As they wait in line, Hana grabs her phone. She stacks all the money her father gave her on a different bank account. One he shouldn't be able to reach. Then she sends the email she had ready in her drafts.

To: [email protected] & [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Please don't respond

Hi,

I know everything.

All of it. And before you ask me how, I want to ask you to leave me alone. Please let me process this on my own. I can't believe either of you. The black market, the betrayals, the people you killed. You've been lying to us your entire lives.

Don't contact me. Not at all. If you even try, I will never talk to you again. Like I said, let me figure this out.

There are things in those papers that I will never unsee. You've lied for decades. You raised me in a world that was never real.

You told me I was loved. That the world was harsh but that we, at least, were good. But you were the danger.

Don't call me. Don't email me. Don't send photos or letters or packages. If you show up here, I will not answer the door.

You are not my parents anymore. Not until I say so.

I am not your chance to feel human again.

Kaoru, Sakiko, and I were just kids to keep your house warm when it got too cold.

If tomorrow, I forget you ever existed, know that it's because in my mind, I've already stepped over your dead bodies.

So do not reply to this or you'll never hear from me again. Defending yourself adds to your faults. Let me breathe and live. I'll come back someday.

- Hana.

She had cried while writing it. She had sobbed, in fact. After all, these are her parents. The people who she grew up with. The people who taught her everything.

Which is the worst of it all. They've been hiding these horrible crimes from their own children, even when Kaoru became an adult. And Hana can't stand it. She needs a way to think it through without people bugging her all the time, so this is the only way, as much as she hates it.

As much as she hates how fast things can fall apart like this.

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Important

"I want to know everything about Mom and Dad," you said once.

If you really want to ruin your idea about them, read the documents I left in my desk. And make sure to find whatever Dad is hiding.

I love you, Kaoru. I won't be talking to any of you for a long time, but I love you: you, Kaede, Nozomi, Sakiko, and Souta. Tell them I'm very sorry. Don't reach out to me.

- Hana

●・○・●・○・●

🂱 A/N: Ugh I seriously hate this chapter, it's way too fast-paced but I didn't know how else to write it

You can hate Hana's actions but please don't hate her cuz imagine finding out your parents have been hiding all these things from you 🤞

For anyone who's confused: Hotoke was born after N****i raped her mother (in real life, not the Borderlands), who works at the black market. Remember those 3 men from one of the earlier chapters? Well, half of the black market knows they went to Baya, and they also know Chishiya killed them, so Hotoke recognized Chishiya's name and decided to get revenge on them for killing those 3 men.

And like mentioned before, the usage of the last name 'Niragi' is so no one knows her real last name and she's 'safer' performing things like this.

Hana went to check the list of survivors and found Oki Yaba. He was still alive back then because that was before the Jokers. The documents were either real things that happened or things he planned. Baya betraying Chishiya and Chishiya's fake death were all planned and didn't happen yet, but he wrote them down as if they had already happened, so that's what Hana read, along with quite literally all the bad things her parents did.

Aheifofnrkrkf I'm still frustrated this didn't turn out the way I wanted it to but alright

Also why does Wattpad turn my em dashes into EN dashes?? Give me my em dashes