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CHAPTER TWENTY,
how to not confess

—

༇ I'M going to kiss the teacher.

Kaede almost says that out loud, but holds himself back just in time. Either way, the teacher might just be his new favorite person, apart from Hana, Miyu, and Souta.

Several big things going on.

In Japan, a school year starts in April. At fifteen, you go to high school.

Hana, born in March, and Kaede, absolutely blessed with the fact he's born on April first—that's the only reason he's in the same year as Hana—, are also in the same class.

The introduction weeks at high school are over, and now the real classes are about to begin. They don't move classes. No, they stay in one classroom the entire year. Instead, the teachers move around.

And they put him next to Hana.

Probably not for the rest of the school year, but it's enough to keep him happy for the entirety of it.

"I'm so glad I'm next to you," Hana sighs dramatically as she sits down next to him, her bag hitting the ground with a loud thud. "This whole place is scary. Why is everyone so tall? Why are there literal adults on this school? I feel bad for Kaoru, he's gone through all of this alone."

"He seems alright with it." Kaede shrugs. "Just... stay with me. You'll be fine."

She gifts him a crooked smile. "Thanks." And starts folding a, of course, paper crane. "Question."

He hums.

"How old is your friend Shindou?"

Kaede sits straight up. "Twenty-one with two kids and a girlfriend," he lies quickly.

"Woah, what— seriously?"

"Yup."

"Alright." Hana shrugs and goes back to work. She sticks her tongue out a little in concentration, which is annoying because she does it without thinking and it makes Kaede want to scream into his sleeve.

He rests his elbow on the desk and turns slightly to face her. "You made that same one in middle school."

"You remember that?"

"You folded about fifteen of them and told your father to open his mouth. He nearly choked when you shoved the paper inside his mouth out of a sudden— like, your whole fist went in!"

"Oh right," Hana says thoughtfully, then makes a face. "Not his best moment."

Kaede laughs under his breath. Hana doesn't notice. She rarely does. That's the thing about her: she floats through her own world. It's not that she doesn't care. She just moves too fast to see what she leaves behind. Kaede's pretty sure she left him behind in fifth grade.

"Hey," she says suddenly, flicking her gaze up. "I asked Nozomi if she liked anyone. She said yes, but wouldn't tell me who. Isn't that weird? If you like someone, why keep it a secret?"

Kaede chokes on absolutely nothing and tries to cover it with a cough. "I don't know. Maybe it's embarrassing."

"What's embarrassing about liking someone? That's dumb."

"It's not dumb," he says quickly. "It's... complicated."

Hana frowns. "You like someone, don't you?"

Kaede goes completely still. Her voice isn't teasing. She's just looking at him now, genuinely curious, waiting for an answer.

"I mean," he says, pretending to dig through his bag, "maybe."

Her eyes light up. "You do!"

Kaede tries to smile like she isn't quite literally sitting six inches from the answer to her question. "Yeah. I guess."

"Tell me," she insists.

"No way."

"I told you about Nozomi's secret, it's only fair—"

"You didn't even say who she liked."

"Rules of gossip."

He gives her a look. "It's not gossip."

"Then it's... honesty. Come on. Give me one hint."

He has three options.

One, he fully denies he ever said he has a crush.

Won't work.

Two, he lies and says it's someone else. Later on, he can tell Hana he's fallen out of love. That wouldn't cause any harm, would it?

Three, he bluntly tells her that it's her— no, no, absolutely not, he thinks. Hana isn't ready. He has one chance to confess, one time in his life, and if he messes up, it's done for good. It'll be awkward for the rest of their lives!

He decides to go for two.

His mind races through the options. Someone believable, someone who wouldn't raise suspicion. Someone Hana wouldn't immediately go and interrogate. Someone safe.

"Alright," he says finally. "But you can't tell anyone."

"I would never."

"You absolutely would."

She puts her hand over her heart. "I'm hurt."

"Fine. It's... Kaho."

"Kaho?" Hana repeats, eyebrows shooting up. "The girl from our old class?"

Kaede nods slowly, trying not to overdo it. "Yeah. She's... cool and smart. She helped me with science once, remember?"

"But you didn't even talk to her much," Hana says. "Still... she is cute. Quiet, but very cute."

Kaede nods again, working hard to keep his face still. "Exactly."

Then she narrows her eyes. "Wait. You're lying."

Kaede stiffens. "No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are," she says with growing certainty. "You get all fidgety when you're lying. That thing with your ear? You're doing it right now."

Kaede's hand instantly freezes halfway to his ear.

"You are lying!" she exclaims, delighted. "You do like someone else!"

"Okay—fine, I changed my mind. I liked Kaho. Past tense. Now I don't anymore."

Hana tilts her head. "You're weird."

"Thanks."

Kaede wants to tell her. Desperately. There are so many words in his chest. He wants to say that it's her. But he doesn't. He can't yet. Instead, he nudges her shoulder gently. "Drop it, alright?"

She huffs. "You're no fun."

"I'm tons of fun. Ask literally anyone."

"Liar. I bet Kaho thinks you're boring."

He gives her a flat look. "Now you're bullying me."

Hana grins and holds up the paper crane, neatly folded and symmetrical. She sets it on his desk, then flicks his forehead with one finger. "Fine, I'll drop it. But you owe me."

"For what?"

"For not pestering you until I find out who you actually like. But I will find out, Kaede. I always find out."

He laughs nervously. "I'm shaking in fear."

"You should be."

●・○・●・○・●

Hana kicks off her shoes at the doorway, still thinking about Kaede's weird ear touching habit when he lies. She'll make fun of him for it again tomorrow, probably. Or maybe the day after, when he's less on edge. He was definitely lying. She doesn't know who he actually likes, but she will figure it out.

From the kitchen comes the immediate sound of something clattering, followed by her mother's voice: "Kaoru, put the lid back on before you ruin dinner— yes, now! You are not taste testing everything, you little—"

"I'm home!" Hana calls out.

The house smells like garlic. It's warm inside, pots clinking, something sizzling in the kitchen. Kaoru, unbothered, grins at Hana with food still in his cheek.

Hana gives him a disgusted look. "You're gross."

"Jealous," he says around his mouthful.

"Of what?"

"Of this prime opportunity to sabotage Mom's cooking before Dad gets home."

"I heard that," comes a voice from the hallway.

Hana turns. Her father is standing in the doorway with a single raised eyebrow and a stack of medical journals tucked under his arm.

"You weren't supposed to be back until seven," Baya points out.

"It is seven." Chishiya walks in, drops the journals on the counter, and takes one long look at the chaos. "Dinner smells edible. That's promising."

Baya scowls. "You can make it next time if you're going to complain."

"I didn't complain. I complimented. Technically."

Hana sighs as they continue to bicker and bends down to Sakiko, who's munching on a carrot.

"Hi, baby." She reaches out to squeeze Sakiko's cheek. "You're gonna turn orange at this rate."

"No, I'm not," Sakiko says seriously. "I'm not a fruit!"

"Vegetable," Kaoru corrects. "And that's still not how it works."

Hana pulls a tomato slice off the cutting board.

"Don't steal the ingredients," Baya groans, hand darting out to smack Hana lightly on the wrist. "Dinner's almost ready. Wait like a normal person."

"I am a normal person."

"I'm more normal than you and I'm neurodivergent," Kaoru mutters below his breath.

"Shut up."

Baya chuckles and gently shifts Sakiko off the counter, passing her a bowl of rice and vegetables. "Here you go, baby. Sit with Papa."

Sakiko runs to Chishiya, clambering into his lap, and moves her higher up onto his knee by simply bounces it upwards.

"Papa, Hana said she's a vegetable," Sakiko announces.

"No, I didn't."

"That tracks," Chishiya responds.

"Set the table, Kaoru," Baya orders. "Hana will clear it."

Kaoru groans but obeys, grabbing the stack of chopsticks and plates from the cabinet.

Once most of them are seated, Baya slides a filled plate in front of Hana before sitting beside Chishiya and stealing a bite from his rice.

"Stop it."

"I birthed your children," she replies around the mouthful.

"And I've survived yet another second without wanting to kill myself."

Kaoru's rice falls out of his mouth.

Hana gasps, truly offended. "Dad, you can't say that! There are real people suffering out there."

He gives her a look that, honestly, just says 'I don't give a fuck'.

"I would like to argue that giving birth is a higher accomplishment, as you've always had a strange view on life."

Chishiya looks at his wife. "And I would like to argue that you're trying to sound fancy."

She mouths something that sounds like an insult.

Sakiko claps her hands. "Let's say thanks!"

They all bow their heads, some more lazily than others.

"How was school?" Baya then asks.

"High school is terrifying. There are boys there who shave." Hana grimaces.

Kaoru gives her a dry look. "That was expected. You know I've been shaving since last year."

"No one asked you."

"Kaede probably shaves too," Baya chimes in, wiggling her eyebrows.

Hana throws a napkin at her. "Mom, be normal."

Baya cackles. "What? He seems like a clean young man."

Chishiya raises an eyebrow. "That is not the word I'd use. You see, the genes—"

"Arisu doesn't even stink," Hana protests. "He smells good, actually."

"I've been trying to catch him in the shower for the past years and so far, failed, while he, on accident, walked in on me twice." 

"So you just want to see him naked?" Kaoru asks.

"I want to see him make contact with water," Chishiya corrects. "I couldn't care less about what else he's got going on."

"Arisu smells great," Hana defends once again.

"Go tell him that." Chishiya pauses. "Do you have a crush on him."

"Ew, no. That's a grown man with a wife."

"I've read a study in which it's statistically proven young women pursue young men, but if given a choice, they'd rather pursue older ones—"

"Shuntarō," Baya sighs. "She's fifteen. Be normal."

"Just preparing her."

"For what, exactly?"

"Anything."

Hana groans and drops her head onto the table. "You people are insane. I don't enjoy these diners."

"You will one day. When your parents are dead and you're looking back on memories. This will seem like the golden age."

Baya throws a towel at Chishiya's face. "Can you not?"

"I'm being realistic."

"You're being depressing."

"Children should learn about mortality."

A long silence. They all eat. Now and then, Sakiko interrupts with the occasional chatter. Baya turns her gaze to Chishiya, who's currently holding a chopstick in one hand.

"You didn't eat lunch again, did you?" she accuses.

He doesn't answer right away, which is an answer in itself.

Baya exhales through her nose. "You know that's bad for your blood sugar."

"I know."

"You're not immortal."

"I've never claimed that I was," Chishiya says evenly. "Though I might be closer than most."

"I'm going to put protein powder in your toothpaste if you keep this up," Baya threatens.

"Wouldn't work. I don't swallow toothpaste."

Sakiko frowns. "Swallowing toothpaste bad. Makes your tummy hard and your poop weird."

Everyone pauses.

"That is absolutely correct," Chishiya says after a moment, giving Sakiko a solemn nod. "I'm proud."

●・○・●・○・●

The classroom is half asleep, the teacher scribbling something meaningless on the board, and Kaede is sweating through the back of his uniform shirt. Hana's beside him, chewing absently on the cap of her pen, her knee bouncing just enough to tap against his every few seconds. She's drawing something and talking to herself under her breath.

Then she turns her head slightly, and without warning, asks, "So. You still like that mystery person?"

He pretends not to hear her. Stares at his notes. Counts the seconds between breaths. But Hana doesn't let things go that easily.

"Come on, Kaede," she says, dragging out his name. "You've still never told me. It's been weeks. Just give me a hint. It's not Kaho anymore, right? You admitted that was a lie."

Kaede shifts in his seat. He shouldn't say anything. He knows he shouldn't. But he's tired as well. Tired of pretending. And when Hana looks at him like that, he feels something crack.

He says it before he can stop himself. "It's you."

Her whole body stills. "What?"

Kaede exhales, trying to play it off, but his voice wobbles. "I like you, Hana."

She lifts her head, blinking at him. "You're joking," she says slowly.

"I'm not."

She looks away, stares down at her desk for a second, then back at him. "I... eh, I'm sorry, Kaede. You're amazing, but... I don't like you in that way. I don't... like, like you. I'm sorry."

Immediate panic. His heart beats so fast that he's afraid to combust right then and there. "Okay." He forces out a laugh. "I mean, that was a joke, obviously."

"Huh?"

"Why would I like you?" He motions at her, stammering.

Hana's lips part, but nothing comes out.

Kaede hears himself. Knows he's losing control. But it's like he's watching a version of himself from outside his own body.

"I mean, you? Come on. You're messy, you're loud, you never shut up, and you're... you're, eh, you're not even that pretty. Who would ever have a crush on you?"

The second it's out, he wants to rewind time. But he can't. So he just keeps going. Panicking. Heavily.

"Seriously. You're annoying, Hana. You don't pay attention to anything. I mean, I'd never like you. I'd rather date literally anyone else."

"I..." she swallows, blinking fast. "Okay."

"I didn't—" he says instantly, but it's too late. "I didn't mean—"

"No, it's okay," she says. "You were just being honest, right?"

Kaede's breath hitches.

She sits back in her seat slowly. Her shoulders pull tight. Her eyes flick away from him, out the window.

"Got it," she says quietly.

Kaede wants to throw up. He wants to say sorry. He wants to scream sorry. But he doesn't know how to do that without sounding like it was all a joke once again.

●・○・●・○・●

🂱 A/N: oh well

anygays I've been thinking and came to the conclusion that my favorite Baya and Chishiya era is those 2 chapters in Sweven where they stayed at his house (like, right before chapter 25)

Let me know what your favorite 'era' is!!

Also I will most likely write an Arisu fanfic but not until after September lol

Anddddd there is a fanfic of Baya and Chishiya, it's literally insane omgg
"Fan | Baya x Chishiya" by mirakiwrites

If you saw the tiktoks, no you didn't

Good night (yes that's Nijiro)