WHO I AM I CHOOSE THROUGH ALL THE THINGS I DO

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The sun rose again, and again, as bright and everlasting as ever. Crossrose continued to flourish and thrive just as it always had. Every day, the sound of birds singing their cheerful tunes, and the sight of flowers in bloom remained the same, a constant in this world. Despite its hardships, life continued.

It wasn't fair. It wasn't fucking fair.

How could life stay the same without the one truly good thing in the world that was Angel?

Police, real police, had taken both her and Clara away. It took some time for Erebus to be convinced to let go of Angel's body, especially since she was being taken away by the same profession that Herobrine had masqueraded as. Tom, despite his anguish, had helped him to do so. It was astounding to Erebus, how well Tom was doing despite losing both his wife and his niece, who had basically become a daughter to him, on the same night, not even an hour apart. He reflected to himself, however, that this was likely only a front that Tom chose to put on as a way to cope.

Erebus desperately wished he could do the same.

He had just lost the person that had made him who he was, quite literally. He had just lost the person that had taught him how to love. Just like that, by mere accident, she had been torn from him for the rest of his life.

The world had ended for him, so why had everything else moved on, all life refusing to fall silent, every living being not stilling in horror? Erebus's mind was in free fall for days after Angel had died, unable to comprehend the impossibility. The evidence of all his senses had to be lying, she simply could not be dead. She had always been so full of life, had she not? Why had it been torn from her so early?

The day after, Erebus had entered her room. It was so cold, just as he was after feeling Angel's limp body in his arms. Was this how she had felt when he was shot by Hunter?

The Animals album still rested on her record player from when she had played it for Erebus, right before she left for church. The virtual reality headset that had started all of this lay on her cluttered computer desk, untouched, and the notebook that she had written her adventures inside Minecraft in lay beside it. A small razor blade, tinged with an unmistakable red, lay on her bedside desk, and Erebus understood what that meant.

Her last moments had been spent in self-inflicted pain, and he had had no idea up until then.

Erebus was the one who deserved that pain. He had been the one that Angel was trying to save, that she had given her life for. It was his fault that she was gone, his fault that Tom was without a wife, without a child to care for.

He had taken the blade that day and walked into the bathroom, too overcome with grief to think logically about what he was doing. The blade was dirty, he had to clean it before he dirtied it again with the lifeforce of his body that he didn't deserve to have. Turning the faucet on, he had run the blade under the water, feeling it wash over his own skin as well as Angel's blood washed down the sink, water tinged red before it flowed down the drain, and was gone.

He stopped as he fully registered the feeling of water flowing on his skin. It was flowing, not hurting, not burning.

Angel had made a deal with Herobrine, simply to bring him back to life. She had made him human, she had given him this life, this blood that he was about to spill in her name. He couldn't waste this gift that she had given him, not after she had died to preserve it.

He had finally allowed himself to break down at that moment, dropping the razor blade and collapsing to his knees as his entire body shook with sobs that he was unable to repress. This time, Angel's body, that had made the sweetest of love to his own and had showered him with the affection that he had craved his entire life, wasn't there for him to hold. Her voice that had reassured him so gently that he was doing okay, and that it was safe for him to cry, was now silent.

All of that was in the past, Erebus had to remind himself. Today was important.

Today was the day of Angel's funeral, which was, as Tom described it, a way for him to say a final goodbye to her. This event was something that Erebus had never experienced before, since there was no real way for one to do this in Minecraft - villagers and zombies had salutes for the fallen, but that was about it. He was grateful that an event like a funeral was able to take place in the physical world.

It wasn't too crowded at Crossrose Lutheran Church, where the funeral was taking place. The Feynman family had chosen to be there as well, in order to pay their respects to Angel. Richard approached Tom before the service began, offering him a hug which he quickly accepted. Gameknight made eye contact with Erebus, and the two of them nodded at each other, acknowledging everything that had happened between them once again.

A speech was given by a mellow-voiced priest, who spoke with far too little emotion in his voice to be convincing. Despite his words, Erebus was convinced that he didn't truly know Angel like he had. Perhaps he was just bitter, but right now he didn't care. The first and only person that he had ever truly loved had been taken from him. He had every right to be bitter.

The service seemed to stretch out into infinity, yet it was over before Erebus knew it. People stood up to gather around the casket that Angel's body lie in, paying their respects and offering mementos to her. They left shortly after, quietly chatting amongst themselves. Erebus hesitated until the rest of the people had left, wanting to be the last to go up alongside Tom.

Soon it was his turn. With an ever-growing pit of dread in his stomach, Erebus stood up, walking up with Tom to the casket. Both held bright red roses, the same color as Erebus's skin had been in Minecraft, to be their own mementos for Angel, final gifts to give before she was gone.

The mere sight of her body laying in that casket was enough to force a sob from Erebus's throat, tearing down the stoic front that he had maintained all day. She looked so beautiful, so still, so peaceful where she lie, as if she could have been asleep, but she wasn't, and Erebus knew that. Approaching the casket, he willed his trembling hand to place the rose beside her, the sight of her face distorted by tears that threatened to spill down his face.

A soft hand on his back was his only comfort. "You're okay, magpie." Tom's solemn voice reassured him gently. "You can cry."

Erebus remained silent as he stared down at Angel, gripping onto the edge of the casket for his own support. Then he spoke, his voice nothing more than a shaky whisper. "I can't feel her anymore..." He lowered his head, his shoulders shaking. "It's my fault, Tom, it's-"

Gentle arms wrapped around his trembling body, and he leaned against Tom, sniffling as his head rested on his shoulder. "It's not your fault, son," he told him, running a careful hand up and down his back.

Erebus shook his head. "It is," he choked out. "I-I wanted to show her how much I loved her, and- and I couldn't even protect her..."

Tom remained silent, simply holding Erebus close and providing as much comfort as he was able to despite the tears that clouded his own vision. For a moment, Erebus simply allowed himself to be held by Tom, feeling a gentle warmth overcoming him - not nearly as strong as Angel's had been, but a warmth nonetheless.

"You're not alone," Tom whispered, sniffling a little. "None of us are, alright? It's okay for us to grieve, Erebus, but neither of us should have to do so alone... we both lost."

Erebus tilted his head up to face Tom, wiping away his tears with one hand. "She was like a daughter to you," he murmured.

Tom nodded. "And Clara... she was the love of my life." He lowered his head, tears dripping off the end of his nose. "I can't... I can't lose a son as well."

The warmth within Erebus grew stronger at Tom's words, and he gently pulled him closer, holding onto him firmly. "You won't..." he said, closing his eyes and sighing softly.

Maybe the sun rose again and again in the sky because it had a reason to. Maybe the birds sang as they always did because there was something worth singing for.

Angel may be gone, but Erebus was not. He was living, breathing, human. He had a reason to continue being so. She had given him this gift of life, and he couldn't lose it yet.

She was his reason to keep living. Tom was his reason to keep living. No matter what happened, he wasn't going to let them go.

Looking up at Tom, he nodded, and the two left the church, stepping into their new life, together.