AM I PRETTY ENOUGH TO LOVE BACK?

===

It didn't take long before the house was filled with the aroma of the chicken casserole that had just started baking in the oven. Angel placed the salad that she had just finished preparing onto the dining table, before turning to face Clara. "Is there anything else that I can help with?" she asked.

Her aunt picked up her keys on a nearby desk. "I don't believe so," she told her. "The casserole needs to finish baking, but I'm sure Tom and I will be back by then. I need to go pick him up from where he is with the Feynman family, and I'll be back shortly."

Angel was able to see the concern creeping up once more on Clara's face, and she huffed. "We'll be fine, Clara," she said firmly. "We were fine before, and it won't even be that long that you'll be gone."

Clara didn't bother to fight this time. "I believe you, dear... besides, you'll each have each other to be with. I won't be gone for very long at all, and the Feynman family will be arriving right after us."

"Oh, boy..." Angel chuckled. "I really hope that this goes well, for Tom's sake."

"I'm sure it will," Clara reassured her, starting to move over to the door. "I'll be back very soon. Stay safe, both of you."

And just like that, Clara was gone once again. Angel couldn't help but feel slightly excited at the sound of the door shutting behind her aunt, since it meant more time to be alone with Erebus - this excitement was interrupted by a pang of disappointing realization. "Shit."

"Hm?" Erebus, who had been standing motionless in front of the oven, inhaling the rich aroma of the casserole that Clara had made, turned to face her, tilting his head.

"Ah..." Angel grimaced. "It's not that important. I just wanted to get a shower before the Feynmans arrived, but Clara already left..." She let out a frustrated sigh, looking down as she felt her cheeks start to flush red.

"What do you need Clara for?" Erebus asked. "Is there anything I can help with?"

Angel's face started to burn as she kept her gaze down. "It's stupid..." she muttered. "Um... do you remember back in Minecraft when it started to rain, and I got really bothered by it?"

Erebus glanced down as he thought back to the time Angel was referring to. "I think so, yes."

"Yeah, well..." Angel fidgeted with her hands a little. "Getting wet, especially when I can't control the source of it, really bothers me - as in, like, I can go into pretty bad panic attacks or disassociate sometimes, as a trauma response, and obviously, I don't want to do that, so... whenever I take showers, I just prefer to have someone nearby to pull me out of one if that happens. Like, I-I definitely don't want someone in the shower with me, but just having someone else in the room or just outside really helps me a lot."

She started to relax slightly as she saw that Erebus wasn't judging her for this at all - in fact, he looked slightly intrigued by what she was describing. "Would you like for me to stay with you in the room?" he offered.

"I-" Angel's fidgeting grew slightly worse at his words, and she stammered a little as she spoke. "Listen, you- you don't have to-"

"Angel, I want to help you," Erebus told her, stepping forward. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable, so you can tell me what to do, alright?"

He reached out once he was close enough, taking Angel's hand in his own. That almost mesmerized fondness returned to his eyes as he watched her, waiting for her to tell him how he could help.

"Um..." Angel gently squeezed his hand, looking up at him. "Fuck, you're so sweet... uh, yeah, I guess you can stay if you want, as long as you don't, like, do anything weird."

"Like what?"

Angel motioned with her other hand. "Y'know... look at me naked in the shower, or whatever. I know how much you'd love to, though-"

Erebus choked on air.

"-but I don't think right then would be the time," Angel finished, giggling a little at his reaction. "Maybe another day, though - I need to actually, like, get ready for the shower right now..."

Letting go of Erebus's hand, she started to walk off, leaving him to process what had just happened and what she had just said. "I'll tell you when you can come in," she called to him, unable to force away the smile that was spread wide across her face.

Moving into her room, she walked over to her dresser and picked out some clothes to put on after the shower, making sure they were comfortable but not too casual. Once she had gotten her clothes, she stepped into the bathroom, grabbing a towel and placing it on the sink along with her clothes. Her movements were slow and methodical, a stark contrast to the thoughts racing in her head - the mere idea of Erebus being in the same room as her as she showered made her incredibly flustered. It wasn't even supposed to make her feel this way, this was something he was doing to make sure she felt safe, not something he was doing to just tease her. Despite this, at the same time, she couldn't help but feel like a burden for asking him to do this and putting him in a situation that would likely be uncomfortable for anyone else.

It isn't a burden if he wants to do it, she thought to herself, the voice in her head bearing a suggestive undertone. Angel scoffed aloud.

Reaching into the shower, she turned on the water, making sure it was a suitable temperature for her. The sound of the droplets hitting the floor and flowing into the drain reminded her of rain as she began to strip off the clothes she was wearing, humming 'Going to California' softly to herself as she did so. A small smile crossed her face as she glanced up at the mirror - she wasn't overly vain by any means, but she was proud to have a body that made her feel comfortable in her own skin. This was something she refused to take for granted after having been deprived of it for so long.

Once she had stripped, she placed her clothes into the hamper for them to be washed later before returning to the shower. Taking a deep breath, she placed her hand under the shower head, allowing the warm water to flow over her skin as she slowly stepped further under it. "You can come in now," she called out as she closed the shower curtain, moving completely under the flowing water.

It only took a few moments until she heard footsteps, Erebus's gentle voice following them. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah," Angel replied. "Just don't move the curtain." She could feel him enter the room as she picked up a bar of soap. "You're really considerate for doing this, and double-checking if it's okay to come in. That's really kind of you."

A part of her wished that she could see his flustered reaction to the compliment. "I'm just grateful that you trust me enough to let me help you," he told her. "That's all I want to do, especially if it will help me earn your trust."

Despite not being able to see Erebus, Angel couldn't help but glance over in his direction. "What do you mean?" she asked. "You don't need to earn my trust, you already did that. You're, like, the person I'm closest with now - asides from Clara and Tom, of course. I trust you with so much already, and I really don't want anything to happen to you."

Angel could hear the giddy smile in Erebus's voice as he spoke. "I'm- I really appreciate that, Angel..." he murmured.

There was a moment of silence, filled only by water hitting the floor of the shower. Angel fidgeted a little - the conversation had been distracting her well, but thankfully, the pause didn't last for too long as Erebus spoke again.

"Do you think we'll ever get the chance to kiss?"

Angel froze up at the sudden question. "Ah..." She glanced down at the floor, biting her lip as she tried to come up with a response. This certainly wasn't something she expected Erebus to ask, but it wasn't an unwelcome question - it was something she had been wondering too.

"Did I make you uncomfortable?" Erebus quickly asked after noticing her pause.

Angel shook her head out of habit, before remembering that Erebus couldn't see her. "No, no, you didn't," she reassured him. "I was just thinking."

"About what?"

"About kissing you."

Erebus chuckled softly. "You think about that a lot, then, hm?"

Reaching up to start washing her hair, Angel scoffed. "I mean... I've been thinking about it a lot more than I had before. Like I said, it'd mean something to me." A brief pause. "It'd mean a lot more to me than I'd care to admit."

"What do you mean?"

Angel softly sighed as she began to rinse her hair, taking care not to get her face wet. "I don't know..." she mumbled. "Do you remember a night ago, when we were joking about you being in love with me? And I said that I'd only want you to be if you meant it?"

"I do," Erebus said. His voice was soft, as if he was lost in thought.

"Well..." Angel could feel an invisible hand gently tugging at her stomach as she prayed to God that this wouldn't end poorly for her. "Well, I- I'd want this to be the same way. Like I said, kissing someone isn't just something people do... if you were to kiss me, I'd want it to mean something to you."

"Who said that it wouldn't have meant something to me?" Erebus asked, clearly confused. "Angel, of course it would mean something to me. I've never kissed anyone before, just like I've never felt the way that I do when I'm with you for someone else. I..." He trailed off, not knowing how to put his feelings into words.

"Erebus... people typically kiss because they're in love with each other," Angel told him. "That's what I mean by wanting you to mean it if you decide to kiss me - as in, meaning that you'd be in love with me, which is- which is something I highly doubt."

"Would you mean it if we kissed?"

The question caused Angel to freeze in place. This wasn't at all how she had assumed coming to terms with her feelings would be - there was no sudden rush of realization that made her feel as if she was floating, but rather a firm weight settling into her anxiety-ridden stomach as she was forced to face the truth. This wasn't a heartfelt confession like those in movies - rather, she was standing naked in the shower, soapy water streaming from her hair as she stood there, her face hot and her heart pounding.

It felt so wrong, the truth, after everything that had happened, and yet, it couldn't have made more sense. Had Angel ever hated Erebus, even in the beginning? There was no point in time when she could have, despite the opinions of Gameknight and his villager friends. Hell, she had risked the world for him, back when they hadn't even been friends. She risked the well-being of everyone in Minecraft and in the physical world just to save him from death at the hands of Malacoda, and had risked her own life by saving him again from Gameknight - this wasn't even mentioning the plan she had made with Herobrine, solely to bring him back. Had she only done these things out of the kindness of her heart, or was there something else in her heart that had longed for him, that had cried out in earnest for his presence for so long after he had died in her arms?

His warmth was unlike any other Angel had experienced, and it wasn't just a physical feeling for her - no, this warmth brought comfort to her very soul, gentle hands of care embracing the light within her that gave her life itself. Crimson eyes shone with nothing but mesmerized want and enamoration and a true desire to change, in order to become a better person for her. It was because of her that he was learning to appreciate himself, causing her to do the same in turn as if their very souls were entwined, like trees with a common root, each becoming stronger due to being with the other.

She wanted this, she wanted him. She wanted to experience this growth with Erebus, no matter how scary it seemed. He was the only thing giving her life meaning and direction, and she couldn't bear to lose him. Desire to hold and protect, to teach and learn from, to live life and grow old with, to receive unconditional love from and make unbridled love to, filled every crevice of her body, to the point where she could feel herself trembling.

"Yes," she said, never more sure of anything else besides this, these words to Erebus. "I would mean it... I do mean it."

A soft, stuttered exhale followed Angel's words, setting off a spark of panic in her mind and causing her to blurt out the first thing that came to her mind.

"Are you masturbating?"

Erebus yelped at the sudden question. "No- what?!"

"I don't know- it was the first thing I thought of!" Angel exclaimed, wringing her hands. "I didn't want to just leave it like that, and you were breathing weird, so-"

"You thought I was masturbating because you heard me breathing?!"

Angel huffed, reaching over and turning off the shower water. "It- It's whatever, I'm getting out of the shower anyway, so if you wouldn't mind stepping out for a bit while I get dressed..."

"Alright, I'll- I'll see you in a second," Erebus mumbled, and Angel could hear his footsteps receding out of the bathroom before the door shut behind him. A frustrated groan escaped her as she stepped out of the shower, and she put her face in her hands.

"Jesus fucking Christ..."

She was still trying to process what had just happened, but already she could feel the embarrassment settling in. It was shit for her to come to terms with her true feelings, especially strong feelings like those she harbored for Erebus, and she had needed to get out of that conversation before it turned bad, like she assumed it would have if she let the weight of her words sink in any further.

Grabbing her towel, she quickly dried herself off, shivering slightly at the cold air hitting her body. She started to pull on her clothes, humming once again as she tried to compose herself, forcing the catchy melodies of Led Zeppelin into her head instead of her overwhelming feelings. Her pants had barely been pulled on before the door was pushed open once more.

"Angel, Clara and Tom are- shit!"

"What the fuck?!" Angel yelped, grabbing her shirt and pressing it up against her chest as she spun to face Erebus with wide eyes. "I'm not dressed yet!"

"How long does it take for you to get dressed?!" Erebus screeched, turning away and pressing a hand over his eyes as he slammed the door shut.

"How long do you think it would take me? A fucking millisecond?!" Angel shouted through the door as she put down her shirt and snatched up her bra. "I swear to God, if you saw my tits, I'm going to cry- what did you even want?"

"I didn't see anything!" Erebus called back. "And Clara and Tom just got here!"

The Feynmans.

"Fuck!"