❝A BROKEN BOY AND HIS GIRL❞
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⋆𐙚₊˚⊹ chapter twenty-seven,
Gilmore Girls — Season Five

𝐒𝐞𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝟐𝟖𝐭𝐡, 𝟐𝟎𝟎𝟒
―୨୧⋆ ˚ LUCY'S POV

( lil heartbreak of a chapter to welcome
all you lovely readers back )

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𝐈'𝐌 𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐏𝐓 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐎 𝐀 𝐁𝐎𝐍𝐄-𝐂𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐇𝐔𝐆 𝐁𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐄 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐁𝐔𝐃𝐃𝐘. I've missed a few Saturday night dinners with the family due to school starting back up and everything being so chaotic at the apartment, but I'm home now so I just couldn't pass up the opportunity for dinner with three of my favourite people.

Maisie pulls away first, hands on my face. I look to her, a smile on my lips because she looks good. She looks exceptionally happy today, I don't know why, but I swear she's glowing tonight. She appears to be calmer, like a weight is off her shoulders, and it's refreshing to see after the hectic week I've had.

I'll recap the hectic week very quickly.

Lisa has been sick with the BTS flu── Back To School flu, as she and Tristan call it, don't ask me why. So she's been holed up in her bedroom while Tristan and I take it in turns delivering her food and water.

Tristan finally heard back from his mother who seems to be in Costa Rica, shacking up with some guy she just met who is fifteen years younger than her. His mother first contacted him a week ago, but since then, Tristan hasn't heard another word. Tristan's furious, let's just say that, and he's not doing too well. He's half tempted to fly to Costa Rica just to drag her ass back to the states, but I told him he couldn't just take off, not when he doesn't know exactly where she is.

Mary Dugray is not liked very much in the apartment at the moment.

Anyway, on a happier note, Lindsay got that job. Can everybody please applaud my girl, thank you. She's been working like crazy these past two weeks, saving all her money in the hopes of moving out because the apartment is very full of chaos, and she definitely deserves her own space. Until she figures out what to do, she's going to continue to stay with us, but I really do like having her around. Having her around gives me that home feeling, I don't know how to explain it.

I've been working as much as possible too because Logan can't just host one party and have that one stick. No, he seems to host a lot of parties when school is starting back up, and I have no idea why because they're all the same. It's weird, but I can't exactly pass up the opportunity as I've never received so much money in my life from tips and passing beers to already-drunk college kids, it's great.

And on a final note, I've had a few more run-ins with Violet, but they've been nothing short of a run away from me. I don't stop to chat even if she hovers around me in the hopes that I'll just turn around and give her a chance to speak and make up for the nineteen years of abandonment. I don't want to hear her out, not now, not ever.

Dad still doesn't know.

Yes, I know, it's terrible that he doesn't know, but I physically struggle to get the words out, you don't understand. I mean, I stare at him and my throat just closes up as I overthink about how he'll react to the news that the woman who abandoned me nineteen years ago has come forward.

I feel physically sick anytime I think about telling Dad, so I just do my best to push it away, just like I'm doing right now.

Basically, all is good apart from the Dugray debacle and Violet hovering around me like a bad smell, but I chose to take a break away from the chaos so I could see my family── my favourite people on the planet.

Not only is Maisie looking healthy and happy, Buddy is looking just as joyful, and Dad always appears to be a ray of sunshine lately, and I think it's because of a certain brunette with blue eyes. Yes, since he and Lorelai got together, Dad has absolutely been happier.

He got the girl. Finally, we all say in unison.

I sit down across from Dad who pushes a drink of cherry coke towards me. "Hello, father."

"Hello, daughter," he mocks, sipping on his beer as Buddy comes rushing over to our table with plates of food. I only arrived a few minutes ago and I'm already being greeted by food.

Ah, I do love my life here.

My lips turn up in a smile as I look to the man I consider a grandfather. "Buddy, you're the most beautiful man alive," I say, my stomach literally gurgling at the beautiful scent of Italian food.

Maisie and Buddy are trying this new thing out. Every Saturday, they make foods from a different country. Last week, Dad told me it was Ethiopian, and let's just say, he definitely wasn't a fan. I'm kind of glad I missed last week. Thankfully, this week is something everybody likes── Italian. Pizzas and pastas and sauces are pushed onto our table, and even though we didn't place in an order, I am so not complaining.

It's not like we ever receive anything we order anyway.

"You really think we can eat all of this?"

"I can."

I'm already stabbing my fork into the pasta, fully prepared to stuff my face. While I've eaten pretty well this past week thanks to Lindsay's manic cooking, I still crave these over-the-top dinners at Sniffy's. These dinners taste and feel like home, as ridiculous as that sounds.

"Come on, Dad, get eating." Dad usually eats healthy, as you all know, but every once in a while, he'll go a little wild and eat as bad as I do. And by every once in a while, I mean most days of the week now that he's dating Lorelai.

"I don't know how you do it, Luce." He shakes his head, stabbing his own fork into the same bowl of pasta I'm eating from.

"Well, I must've got my bad eating habits from someone." The minute I say that, I instantly want to take it back, as if I didn't receive my bad eating habits from my dad, I must've received them from──

Woah, overthinking much. Jeez.

"Like, someone in the family must've, uh, been really into their food," I comment, clearing my throat as I finish my cherry coke in record time.

I'm overthinking. I gotta calm down.

Dad hums, head tilting to one side. "Well, my cousin Franny used to make two turkeys on Thanksgiving just so she could feed one to her parrot." That's not where I thought that comment was going, but I've had to stop eating to process that comment.

"Are you saying I'm like the parrot?" I've met this parrot. It's a massive, ugly, spoilt bastard── pardon my language. I hate the damn thing.

Dad continues to stare at his food, not looking me in the eye as he replies with a quiet, "No."

"You're not funny."

Buddy steps over with another glass of cherry coke, reading my mind before I have the chance to order. "You're a parrot?"

I snap my head over to him. "You heard that?"

"His hearing is fantastic," Maisie comments, hand sliding against his shoulder as she moves past him, smiling gracefully. She is really happy tonight, and I'm not saying she's never happy, it's just that she seems exceptionally happier today, and now I really wanna know why. Although, it may not be for any particular reason as to why she's a ray of sunshine today.

"I am not as bad as that damn parrot."

"Language, Lucy."

I slump back in my seat. "Sorry, Buddy."

"Your daughter knows the word damn." He looks to my dad, his eyes wide like he's never heard me say it before. Surely he has, right? "Hey, Maisie, Lucy knows the word damn, can you believe that?"

"Damn, I can't believe that," she shouts back, amusement in her tone which makes me and my dad laugh, and I think I catch a twitch of a smile on Buddy's lips. He can't not find his wife funny.

He steps away, his head shaking.

"So I actually wanted to ask you something." I avert my gaze from Buddy to Dad, leaning forward to jab my fork into the pasta again.

"Shoot."

"Now, before you say no, just remember that you love me, and I'd do anything for you."

"I bet you say that to all your daughters," I quip.

"Nope, just you, kiddo." He leans forward, placing his fork down. Ah, so it's serious enough talk to stop eating. Do I stop eating? No. No, I don't. "Okay. Also, I don't like this either, but I like Lorelai so what she says goes."

I grin. "Well, aren't you whipped."

"I want you and Tristan to come on a date with me and Lorelai," he says, and I don't understand how that would make me say no. I'd love to. It would be a lot of fun.

"Yeah, that sounds──"

"And Rory and Dean," he interrupts, silencing me instantly as I retract my last comment.

"No," I force out, no hint of hesitation in my voice.

"Luce──"

"I am not going on a triple date with two people who wrecked my best friend's marriage," I say, trying to keep my voice calm as I don't want Buddy and his super-sonic hearing to hear me discussing this with my dad.

"Kid, I need you there."

"You have Lorelai."

"But she likes Dean... For some reason." Dad sighs. "She's trying to give him a chance again."

"Dean is not a good guy, Dad, he doesn't deserve any kind of chance."

"Lucy, I am on your side, alright? I don't like him either, but he's with Rory, and I'm with Lorelai, so I could really use your support." I stare at him, seeing that he's being completely genuine which is annoying to see. "I know you hate him, and I know you're not a fan of Rory, but you're my kid and I need you there. You don't even need to talk to them, just come to meet Lorelai."

"I've met Lorelai."

"Not in this capacity," he argues, his smile tight-lipped. "Please, kid. Just this one thing."

"Just this one thing?"

"If you don't come, people are gonna think I've made you up." I roll my eyes, slinking back in my seat. "Will you do it?"

"I'll need to ask Tristan. He's been..." I let Dad fill in the blank as he knows the extent of the Dugray debacle in our apartment. "I also need to talk to Lindsay about it because, you know, this won't exactly make her happy." She just got her first real job, and now she has to hear that her best friend is going to hang out with her ex-husband and his girlfriend who he had an affair with. It's not exactly ideal, is it?

God, Addy would kill me.

"But if all is fine, you'll come?"

I sigh loudly, letting him know that I absolutely hate to do this, but he is my dad, and I would do anything for him as he'd do anything for me regardless of how uncomfortable something is. "Yes, I will come."

He smiles, and I guess it was worth agreeing to see him smile at me. "Thank you. Have I told you that I love you?"

"Yeah, well, I'm gonna go hang out with my other dads now," I grumble, earning a laugh from him.

Dad pushes the bowl of pasta over to me as a peace offering, and because I can't say no to food, I dive right in and finish the bowl of pasta while Dad snacks of whatever pizza Maisie and Buddy have concocted. They always put a pile of toppings on pizza that don't exactly fit together, but the pizza always strangely ends up tasting amazing.

"I really don't have to talk to them?" I ask while eating my second bowl.

"Nope."

"Can I talk about Dean behind his back?"

"Be my guest," he replies, pushing another cherry coke over to me that Buddy just delivered. "I encourage it, kid."

I guess I can give Rory a chance as my dad is dating her mother, and if they really are serious about one another, it might turn into more than dating, and Rory and I could end up being, you know, stepsisters or something, so I can give her a chance, but Dean ain't even getting a hello.

I nod. "Fine."

It won't be so bad, right?

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𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐏𝐋𝐄 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐈𝐒 𝐎𝐅𝐅 𝐓𝐎 𝐀 𝐅𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐂 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓.

That was sarcastic, if you didn't catch that.

First, Tristan and I were late on account of him being in a foul mood. We sat in painful silence the entire car ride because if we had said a word to one another, all we would've done is argue. Second, I had to see Kirk and his girlfriend, Lulu making out at the back of the theatre── something I never, ever want to see again. And thirdly, to top it all off, Tristan and Dad look just about ready to knock Dean out on his ass.

Now, that I wouldn't object to seeing, but I am so not in the mood to deal with that. Hell, I'm not even in the mood to be on this stupid date, but I'm here because my dad asked me to be here.

Tristan and I are in a fight, if you want to call it one. Personally, I would call it a spat── an argument about something that so isn't worth fighting about. Tristan is on the "we're fighting" train, and Dad can absolutely tell that we're not in the best of moods as we aren't sitting close to each other at all. Tristan keeps looking from the movie we're watching to Dean to Kirk in the back. His eyes go anywhere but at me.

We're watching Pippi Longstocking which is a film I've seen several times in the past as it's one of Addy's favourite movies, but Dad has never heard of the film. I swear he fails to listen when Addy and I talk about films. Lorelai and Rory know it, of course, as they've watched every film under the sun, and they have a little sing along every now and then, it's great.

Well, it would be great if I wasn't so distracted by my boyfriend and the fig── spat we're having.

Dad, Lorelai, Rory and Dean are sitting on the Big Red── the sofa── while Tristan and I sit alongside the sofa. We're the only ones in the theatre which is definitely a first, but I actually like that it's just us... and Kirk. I'd like it more if things weren't unbelievably tense between the six of us, but I'm not so lucky in that department.

Tristan's phone buzzes in his pocket, snatching my attention. "I thought you'd turned it off," I whisper, not wanting to distract the others from the film currently playing.

He sighs, reaching into his pocket to check his phone. I don't see who's calling as he turns the phone away from me which he never does. "I gotta take this."

"Tristan──"

"I'll be back in a minute." His voice is firmer, speaking in a way that tells me to just shut up and let him walk off which I do even if I want to pull him back down to his seat. He stands up from his chair, moving away and leaving the theatre to take the phone call.

Everyone watches him walk off, me included. I sigh, turning my head back to the screen as I try to focus, but I really, really can't, not with Tristan not beside me anymore.

He's not doing good, and I want to help him, but he's shutting me out. After nearly four years together, I can't believe he's pushing me away when I am more there for him than anybody else. I've been there for him through every up and down in his life, and I think I always will be.

Tristan doesn't come back in a minute.

In fact, he doesn't come back at all, and I'm left staring at a dark screen, waiting for him to just magically appear before me and tell me all is going to be absolutely fine even though I know it won't be.

Dad shakes my shoulder. "Hey, kid. We're going back to Lorelai's."

I hum, nodding. "Okay."

He sits down next to me in the vacant seat, his hand squeezing my shoulder. He nods to Lorelai and Rory, urging them to give us a minute alone. I don't know if Tristan is right outside or if he's walked off elsewhere. Hell, maybe he's driven back to the apartment and left me here.

Right now, I wouldn't put it past him.

"What's going on with him?"

Tears burn behind my eyes, threatening to fall. "He's not doing well, Dad. His mom, she's..." I shake my head, feeling sick to my stomach as I think about her lack of help in his life. "Lisa is living with us, in the apartment that's just supposed to be ours. He's stressed, and even though his book just got published, he can't seem to just... take a break and enjoy that."

Dad sighs, placing his arm around my shoulders, pulling me into him. "Do you wanna stay home tonight?"

"I don't know yet. I should talk to him."

"Do you want me to talk to him?"

I scoff, hating that idea. "Absolutely not."

"Oh, come on."

I lift my head off his shoulder, wiping my hand under my eyes as tears slip. "I'm sorry about tonight. I just... I'm just not in the mood with everything that's going on."

"It's okay." He rubs my arm reassuringly. "If you wanna stay home, you let me know, alright?" He presses a kiss to the side of my head. "It's gonna work itself out, kid, I promise."

After I apologise to Lorelai for needing to rush off, I say goodbye to her and Rory── not Dean because I'm salty── and then I say my goodbyes to Dad, promising to him that I will let him know how the conversation goes with Tristan once I find where he is because, as suspected, he's not standing outside the theatre.

The only reason I know he hasn't driven off is that his car is sitting outside.

I know where he is. I think I've known all this time. He's standing under the gazebo── a spot he loves in this town. A lot of our dates in town when we first began dating showed us sitting under that gazebo, so when I find him there, I'm not surprised at all.

I walk up the steps, finding him to be leaning against the wooden post. I step over to be slowly, keeping my distance as I wait for him to turn his head and look at me.

He doesn't.

"Tristan, what's going on?" The more I stare at him, the more I start to feel my heart breaking. He isn't looking at me, and he always, regardless of a fight, looks at me when he speaks.

He doesn't look at me.

"I can't do this." My throat constricts, afraid of what those words mean as he continues. "I can't sit in there and pretend that I'm okay. I can't sit there and pretend I want to be there. I can't do it. I can't believe you wanted to."

"My dad asked me to be there. This is important to him." He knows it's important to my dad as I've told him that already. He knows I needed to be there to meet Lorelai in this capacity as she has the possibility at being my future stepmother, so I wanted to be here to get to know her better, but I spent the entire night panicked about the boy in front of me.

The boy who still won't look at me.

I move, coming to stand in front of him but he won't look at me. He has his eyes on his shoes, suddenly interested in the knots.

"Tristan, please talk to me."

He finally lifts his head, eyes meeting mine, but there's nothing but emptiness behind those eyes I first fell in love with.

I don't even know what I'm staring at right now.

"I've got a lawyer."

I rear my head back. "What?"

"I'm going to get custody of my sister."

Until just now, this is the first I'm hearing of him talk about this. He's never once mentioned to me that he's considered getting custody of his sister. I mean, this is big── life-changing if you really think about it. It's serious, and it's absolutely something I should know. Right?

"You're going to..." I lean back against the wooden post opposite him, suddenly finding it difficult to stand. "What?"

"My mother is unfit, Lucy."

"I know that." God, there isn't a more unfit parent than his mother, believe me.

"There's no way in hell I'm having my sister spend the last few years of her teenage life stuck in a house, waiting for somebody to come home while my mother gets to go from country to country, ignoring her family. I won't let Lisa live the same life I did."

"I get that, I do, but──"

"No, you don't get that," he snaps, stealing my words. "You will never, ever get it, Lucy. You grew up here." He waves his arms, emphasising that I grew up living in a charming small town. "You grew up with a dad that would literally sell his soul to have you as his daughter in every lifetime. You have grandparents that would bend over backwards to give you anything. You have a whole damn town supporting you. You had more the second you were born than I've had in my entire twenty years of life."

I swallow the overwhelming feeling crawling up my throat as he stares at me, unaware that each word he utters is hurting me as he continues on. "I would've done anything to had what you had growing up. Anything, Luce. But I wasn't so lucky. I instead got a dad who chose to die rather than take a break. I got a mother who is afraid of her own shadow, and who can't even be bothered to take care of her kids."

He pushes off the post, stepping to me. "So, tell me, Luce. How do you get it?"

I meet his gaze, shameful tears clinging to my eyelids as I look at the guy I love. "You're right. I've had a life that kids would kill themselves for, but I didn't have more the second I was born. I wasn't loved my entire life, Tristan."

A tear slides down my cheek as I continue to look at him, hoping to catch a glimpse of the guy that I love in his eyes, but he remains emotionless. "I spent the first moment I was born in the arms of a woman who didn't even want me."

"Lucy, that is not the same thing. You didn't have to live it, did you?"

"I lived with it everyday!" My voice raises, and I just pray somebody isn't overhearing. "I lived everyday wondering who she was. I lived everyday wondering why she did it. I never asked about her because I didn't want my dad to ever think that I was taking him for granted. Yeah, you're right, I have a dad that would do anything for me, but I could've had a very different life if he hadn't of found me, Tristan, and I think about that everyday."

I wipe my eyes with the back of my hands, agitated. "So, yeah, fine. I don't understand what it's like for you right now, but I get that you love your sister and you don't want her to live the same life as you, but is your life truly so terrible, Tristan?"

He's looking at me but his eyes aren't following me as I speak, I know that much. "Are you loved by so many people? Are you not appreciated and cared for?" He opens his mouth to respond, but I don't let him. "I love you! I have loved you for nearly four years. I will support you in whatever you decide to do. You want custody of Lisa? Great, I will be there to help in any way I can, but I am so sick of you pushing me away and yelling at me for a life I had no control over."

His mouth closes, and his head drops as I continue to find my words, the tears falling more freely now. "You can hate that I grew up with a parent that loved me. You can resent that part of me, but it is not fair that you can throw it back in my face when we fight because I didn't choose this life, Tristan. I could've had a very different life if I didn't have my dad, but I got lucky, and so did you."

I jab my finger at him, a sob catching in my throat. "You've got a sister who worships you, Tristan. You've got friends who love you── a cousin who would kill for you. You've got me. You've got my entire family on your side, Tristan. Hell, you've even got this entire town on your side, Tristan, and you know that."

I step forward, finding some guts to reach out for him, and I'm very surprised when he doesn't pull back from me as I take his hand. "I love you, but if you keep pushing me away whenever things get tough, you are gonna lose me."

He scoffs, taking his hand back. "Are you serious?"

"Yes, I'm serious. We are about to be together for four years, Tristan, and you're seriously still pushing me away after all this time."

"I'm going through something right now."

"I know! I'm trying to be there for you, but you won't let me."

He steps back, taking every part of him away from me and out of reach. "Have you ever considered the fact that I don't need your help? I don't need your pity, Lucy, I just need to deal with this myself."

"Tristan──"

"No. Until you learn to understand how to deal with something alone that is so hard and so painful that you can't confide in anyone, I don't need you to help me."

I step back like I've been slapped around the face, and in some sense, I have. He's taken every harsh word and slapped me with them, pushing me so far back to the point where I don't know if I can brave climbing back towards him.

What he doesn't know is that I have a secret that is so painful and so hard that I'm lying to my father── a man I've never, ever lied to. He has no idea what I'm dealing with, and apparently I also don't know what he's been dealing with either.

We don't know what's going on with each other.

And we're supposed to, aren't we?

I take one step down, stomach constricting in a way that has me wanting to throw up. "I'm gonna stay home tonight," I say, voice cracking with each word.

He sighs. "Your home is in New Haven."

"No," I utter. "My home is here." I look to him, finding that he's staring right at me, and this time I see a crack in his eyes like he's pained, and while I would comfort him, he's left me feeling this great ache in my heart.

"Luce... I'm──"

"You're not," I interrupt, head shaking. "And that's okay, Tristan. You are going through a lot right now, so it's best we just... stay away from each other." The words taste bitter, much like the time I told him we needed to take a break.

His head snaps forward. "Lucy, no. I──"

"This isn't a breakup, Tristan." I pick myself back up, choosing to stand back on his level. "I just think you need to figure out how to handle this issue with your mother and sister separately, and then when you're ready, I am right here for you. I will help you when you are ready to stop pushing me away."

He doesn't disagree this time. In fact, he just remains silent, so I know he agrees with my words. He needs to figure this out on his own as this is a situation that I cannot begin to understand, and when he's ready, I will be fighting alongside him.

I step to him, and my hand reaches up to rest against his face. "I love you so much, and I am so sorry that you are going through all this, but I need you to let me in, Tristan. We're about to be together for four years, and if you can't let me in after all that time..." Tears fall as I stare at him. "How are we supposed to be together for the rest of our lives if you're pushing me away now?"

I lean up, pushing my lips against his softly so he knows that I, of course, feel very strongly for him and that I will be right there for him when he's ready to talk── when he's ready to open up.

His forehead presses against mine, and I feel a tear against my thumb. I pull my hand back slowly, finding that he is crying. "Tristan?"

"I-I don't know what I'm doing." His voice cracks, cracking my heart right along with it, and then he falls into me, but I catch him because, like I've always said, I'm there for him always. When he falls, I've got him in the same way I know he's got me.

We're no longer standing, instead sitting on the steps of the gazebo, and I hold onto him for the life of me as the boy who's done so much for so many people breaks down in my arms, not ashamed to be crying in my arms in a public space where anybody could walk by.

He just cries, and I just hold him with one hand on his back and the other in his hair.

Never, in the nearly four years we've been together, have I heard him cry in such a way. Truthfully, I've rarely seen him cry, but this breakdown has accumulated over many months, building up, and now it's overflowing, becoming all too much for him to handle on his own.

I need him to let me in, but even as he cries into my arms, I'm unsure if he'll ever truly let me in.

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soph speaks:

hi!! happy new year!!

it's been a long while, i know, and updates will probably still be slow but i think i've found some love again for this story even though i just came back with a crier of a chapter

this chapter was NOT planned like others have been so, uh, yeah, i apologise :)

thankyou for reading!!

lucy & tristan are back (kind of)