❝SELF-HELP LOVE BOOKS❞
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⋆𐙚₊˚⊹ chapter seventeen,
Gilmore Girls — Season Four

𝐀𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐥 𝟐𝟎𝐭𝐡, 𝟐𝟎𝟎𝟒
―୨୧⋆ ˚ LUCY'S POV

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𝐈𝐅 𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐓𝐎𝐋𝐃 𝐌𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐌𝐘 𝐃𝐀𝐃── 𝐌𝐑. 𝐇𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐒 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐈𝐓𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓── 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅-𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐏 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐁𝐎𝐎𝐊𝐒, 𝐈 𝐖𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃'𝐕𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐄𝐃 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐑 𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐄. I found this out when I stopped by the bookstore to ask Andrew about a few books I needed for studying. He then proceeded to tell me how strange my dad was acting when he came in yesterday morning. He bought some books, refused to show him the titles, and rushed out after leaving one-hundred dollars which, according to Andrew, was eighty bucks too much.

Upon finding that out, I took it upon myself to find these books my dad is obviously embarrassed about. I needed to get back to Yale to keep studying for my exams, but I could lose a few hours and stick around Stars Hollow for a few hours. Bothering my father never hurt anyone anyway── well, expect him.

Anyway, when I arrived at the diner, I didn't find him. I proceeded to look around the apartment in search of these books which did not take long because they were on the table. He probably didn't anticipate my arrival, so he didn't feel the need to hide them.

Now I'm sitting at the table, staring at self-help love books. Why does my dad have these? There's also a tape sleeve on the table, and I look to the tape recorder, eyes wide. I move forward, flicking the on switch and two seconds later, the word "Love!" is yelled at me.

"Oh, my God."

"You want it? You can have it. And not compromised, stifling, soul-killing love, but open, honest, life-affirming love. But how do you get it? How do you get this love? It's going to take──" I turn off the tape, and I fall back in my chair, jaw slack.

My father── a man who has always struggled with relationships── is now looking to self-help books and cheesy recorded tapes to find love. This woman must be special. This woman must be──

The door swings open, and I shoot up in my chair like I've been caught doing something guilty which, in a way, I have been. Standing at the door, breathing heavily, is my dad── the man in love with... somebody. He stares at me, I stare back at him, and neither of us speak for a few minutes.

He knows I know. He knows that I know that Andrew told me about his odd behaviour. He knows that I know about these books because they're sitting on the table. He knows I know.

I said "I know" a lot, didn't I? I feel like Phoebe when she found out about Monica and Chandler. I feel wrong for knowing, but now I know my dad is obviously in love, and obviously in need of dire help, I can't help but find it hilarious.

Dad clears his throat, shutting the door behind him. "Lucy."

"Luke," I reply with the same, monotoned voice.

"I didn't know you were coming back until the weekend."

That's right, he didn't know I was coming back. I wasn't even going to see him, I just needed to see if Andrew had some books in stock, but when he told me about my dad's behaviour, I needed to investigate. So naturally, I'm here, all up in my dad's business like I have been for the past nineteen years.

"I went to see Andrew. I needed books."

"Good." Dad nods, hands in pockets. "T-That's what he's there for. He sells... books."

"Yes." I nod, looking down at my shoes. "Yes, he does sell books. All kinds of books." I peer to the table, my eyes landing on two books about love. One is called "You Deserve Love" and the other is called "You're Not Alone." I didn't have time to flick through them, not that I need to anyway. I am in a happy, committed relationship. I never thought my dad would need them either, but I guess I don't know what's been going on with him.

When I visited a couple weeks ago, he told me that he and Nicole had officially gotten a divorce which I was a little too happy about. He then told me that Nicole was cheating on him which made me extremely mad and I threatened to have her killed several times, but Dad assured me that he didn't care.

Basically, I know these books aren't to build back his relationship with Nicole.

No, these books are for somebody he really, really cares about. These books are for somebody he wants more than anybody else in the world, and for the past eight years, this woman has been very, very important to him. Dare I say, it's the woman whose handwriting sits in his wallet next to two photos of me.

"They're for Lorelai, aren't they?"

He doesn't need to answer me, I already know, and I have just got to say... Finally, am I right? Eight years I have spent watching my dad stare at her, clinging onto the idea of being with her, and now he might actually be going after her.

With all this preparation, he better be going after her. It's only taken him forever.

Dad sits down at the table, and I choose to sit back down in my seat. He stares straight ahead, fingers tapping against the wood, and I look from him to the books in front of me. I wonder if these things actually──

They're snatched away, turned over, and placed on the other seat. Dad's obviously still embarrassed by them, but he really doesn't need to be. It's totally fine if he wants to have a little more knowledge before he makes his move. I think this is amazing, but I don't say anything, I just wait for him to say something.

However, five minutes pass by, and I can't just sit and stare at him for much longer so I finally crack, "Oh, my God. You are better at the silent thing than I am." I place my hands on the table. "Dad, I think this is great. I mean, I know you've been in love with her for years, and now you're finally going to make your move, and──"

"Lucy." I clamp my mouth shut, sinking back into my chair. "I'm not doing anything, alright? I'm just──"

"Listening to some sappy, happy guy on how to love and reading books on how to love and──"

"Lucy." This time I actually stay silent as I do believe I'm only angering my dad, and that's the last thing I want to do. "Stop."

"You can talk to me, you know? I am a little bit of an expert on this subject." I grin smugly, and Dad rolls his eyes, but a smile touches his face. "You don't need a book or some random tape guy. You just need to be yourself, Dad. You're a catch."

"You have to say that."

"No, I don't. I mean it, you're a catch, and if Lorelai can't see that already, she ain't worth it." I slap my hand on the table, kick my leg over the other, and I smile proudly. "God, I am just so..." I sigh, nodding my head. "This is really good. I think it's great."

"Yeah?"

"Oh, yeah. I think it's always been Lorelai."

I met Lorelai when I was eleven-years-old, and from the moment I met her, I had an inkling that she and my dad would figure it all out one day, and now I think that day is finally here. Dad is going to make his move, and he's going to be happy.

"I'm just so happy you won't die alone." He pins me with stern, unamused eyes, and I grin, very, very amused. "Oh, come on, laugh a little. This is very funny if you look at it how I am."

"Yeah, yeah. Just laugh at your helpless, lovesick father... That's nice."

I sigh, feeling as if he's taking what I said the wrong way. "Dad, I'm──"

"No, you know, it's bad enough that I can't seem to hold a relationship when my nineteen-year-old daughter, who is half my age, has only had one partner, and has only been with that one partner for nearly four years. That's bad enough, but now I've gotta resort to books and crappy tapes because I feel like I can't talk to my kid about this because she won't understand."

I look away, surprised by his words because Dad has never told me about this. I never knew he felt this way towards my relationship. I never knew he struggled to talk to me about this, and I'm sat here, laughing about something so minor when I should be helping him as his kid who loves him and supports him.

Dad exhales loudly, and his chair scrapes across the floor. "Luce, I-I'm sorry, I shouldn't──"

"No, Dad, it's fine." I shake my head, lifting my head to look at him. "You're right. I wouldn't understand how you're feeling, or what you're going through, but I want to understand. Please let me understand."

"You know, there's some things you don't tell your kid."

"Yeah, but your kid happens to be your best friend, and she loves you, and she's sorry she's in a relationship, but she wants to help. She wants to be here for her best friend and her father."

Dad slaps a hand against my knee, and I smile. "She is you in this scenario, right?" A laugh bubbles out of me, and I nod. "Okay. I was just making sure."

"Talk, please. I'm here to listen."

"Shouldn't you get back to Yale?"

"I've got some time." I shrug, knowing full well that I'll pass these exams anyway. I've studied a ridiculous amount over the past few weeks, so I'm fully prepared. Besides, I've barely been able to spend time with my dad since starting to study for my exams, so it'll be nice to sit and talk. "Now, talk to me, Father."

He leans back in his chair, and I lean back in mine because I imagine we're in for a long, hearty discussion about love. I can just hear that freaking tape guy yapping about love in my ear. How does my dad listen to that stuff?

"Just more recently I've been considering the possibility of asking Lorelai out on a date..." He begins talking, and I can immediately see that he's relaxing like a weight has been lifted. "We've been spending time with each other a little more, and I don't know, today she invited me over to the inn and..." I nod, filling in the blank of something must've happened. "I don't even know what I was thinking, I just went to the bookstore and picked up the first things I found."

"But you hate reading."

"Yeah, but I figured I needed some kind of help. I mean, I've screwed up nearly every relationship I've ever been in, kid. I have no idea what I'm doing."

"I think every relationship has been screwed up because you weren't with the right woman, but Lorelai is the right woman, Dad."

"How do you know that?"

I shrug casually. "I just do."

"But how?"

"I'm psychic. I just know."

He sighs, head falling forward. "I don't know."

"Dad, whenever I was a kid, you always chose me over any woman."

"That's because you're my kid."

"I know, but now I'm older, and I'm not living here anymore── even though you can't seem to get rid of me." He huffs out a laugh, knowing that to be true. "You deserve a really great love story, Dad. It doesn't matter how old you are. It doesn't matter when it happens. It just matters about who this love story is with, okay?"

He nods, understanding me. "Okay."

"Some find it young." Like myself, but I don't say that, because in some twisted way, my heart could still be broken. "Some find it when they're older, some find it when they're on their deathbeds, and some don't find it at all, but that won't be you."

"It could be me."

I shake my head. "No, I know it won't be you. You're destined to have that person, Dad. You're destined to be with that woman."

"Destiny? Seriously?"

I laugh, knowing my dad doesn't believe in that kind of stuff, but I keep talking, "In this case, destiny is your friend, Dad. Destiny is the reason you and Lorelai are going to be together."

"We might not be together, Luce."

"No, I think it's your time now. It's only been, like, eight years of pining, right?" He looks away, obviously not amused by me. "I think you've put it off for long enough, Dad. If you want something real and something with her, you need to go out and get it. No more waiting around, alright?"

"Right." He nods, and I feel satisfied. "I'm sorry I snapped at you, kid."

"It's fine. You're right, I really don't understand all this, but I still wanna help however I can."

"I know, I just don't know how to talk about this with you." He did a good job, even if he doesn't know how to. "You're happy, and I am really happy for you, Luce, but sometimes I'm just a bit... annoyed that I can't seem to have that when you've managed to figure it out so young."

"Everyone is different, Dad. Even me and you."

"I am happy for you, and I hope I can find that. I hope I can find what you and Tristan have."

"You will find it, but not if you just sit here and read these silly books and listen to that annoying guy's voice. You need to go out and get it!" I raise my fist in the air, and Dad scrunches his face up, obviously disgusted, and then I realise how I just sounded. "I did not just tell my dad to go and "get it", did I?"

His lips form a tight smile. "Yeah, you did."

"Well, you need to, but pretend I didn't say that."

"I am done discussing this now. Talk about anything else, I beg."

"Like what?"

"Have you decided what you're doing next year? Will you be moving in with Tristan?"

That question has bugged me for the past month. I haven't given him a straight answer, and I want to give him an answer soon, but I haven't got a damn clue what to say. It's annoying, let's just say that. I told my dad about it, but he hasn't offered me any advice either.

"I don't know what to do. Tell me what to do."

"This is entirely your decision, Lucy."

"Well, tell me what to do as my best friend."

"Lucy──"

"Please," I plead. "I don't know what to do."

"Okay." He clears his throat, and he leans forward with his elbows on his knees. "As your father, I think you're too young, and moving in with somebody is very serious, and it can either make or break a relationship, but I'd rather you move in together than get married or pregnant, so..." I laugh, and Dad smiles. "However, as your friend and father, I think it's your decision. You've been together for three years, you're committed to each other, and it might be good to take that next step, so do whatever you think is best, Lucy. I will support you one hundred percent."

"It could be great," I say quietly. "But I am young, and even though we've been together for three years, moving in together is... big. And he's going to Oxford next year for his placement year, and then I'll be alone in an apartment and..." I sigh, my head falling into my hands. "I don't know."

"You can take all the time you want, Luce."

"Yeah..." I don't have that much time, not when we need to look at apartments if we decide to move in together.

"You'll figure it out."

"And you will too, Dad."

"We're just a bunch of losers, aren't we?"

I scoff. "Speak for yourself, I'm brilliant."

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❝𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐕𝐄 𝐆𝐎𝐓 𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐋❞

I'm sitting in my suite, head dropped in the books when June walks in, holding an envelope in her hands addressed to me. I just had lunch with my dad before deciding to come back to Yale to study for my exam tomorrow afternoon. I could've studied in Stars Hollow, but I'm afraid there's far too many distractions like my dad's startling decision to declare his love to Lorelai Gilmore.

I take the envelope. "That's a great movie."

June sits down next to me, kicking her feet up onto the coffee table. "Is that the one with Tom Hanks?"

"And Meg Ryan," I add, tugging at the envelope. "Why did mail get sent here? I only ever get it delivered to Stars Hollow."

"Beats me. Can I have one of these?" I nod, and June leans forward to snatch a Twizzler from the packet. I pull the letter out of the envelope and unfold it. "What's it say?"

Saturday, Law Library, 9pm

I stare at the message, brows furrowed, confused. "Creepy." I look to June who's peering over my shoulder. She takes it from my hands, and I sit there, a little freaked. "Are you gonna go?"

"No." I snatch the note back from her. "This is basically a death sentence. Whoever this person is── they're totally going to kill me."

"You don't know that."

"June, it's not signed. This person knows where my suite is, they know I study at the law library a lot, and they must know I'm available at weekends."

"You're reading too much into this." June stands up, taking my Twizzlers with her. "You should go. It sounds totally mysterious── that's the fun."

"Yeah, and when I end up dead, that'll be even more fun."

"Get your boyfriend to go with you."

"To go where with you?" Joanna appears, Amara following behind her.

"Luce got this creepy, unsigned note." I hold it out to Joanna who takes it, reads it, and shows it to Amara. "She should go, shouldn't she?"

Joanna scoffs. "Are you kidding? No."

"Exactly," I utter. "This is like the beginning of some freaky horror movie. I'm not going."

"If they know where you live, why don't they just stop by the suite instead of giving you a note?" Amara asks, placing the note down on the coffee table. "Seems stupid to me. Maybe it's just a prank."

"Yeah, it could be that guy Glen── he's always spying on me." Joanna shivers, physically disturbed by Glen who I'm quite familiar with. He always walks up and down the halls, complaining about his classes. He did convince me not to take Russian though. "Want us to ask him?"

I shake my head, not wishing for anyone else to know about this strange note. "No, it's fine. I'm sure it's nothing."

"So you're not gonna go?"

I shrug, lifting the note off the table. "I don't know. I'd rather not."

"We could come with you?" Amara suggests, moving to sit down next to me. "Keep you safe in case whenever sent this turns out to be a murderer. Although, why they'd choose to kill you, I have no idea."

"Well, she's gorgeous── that's a killers type, no?"

"Usually it's blond's though."

Joanna scoffs. "Hey!"

"Okay!" I clap my hands together. "Let's stop talking about the possibility of me being killed. I won't go, alright? I'm sure it's just a prank, so let's just drop it."

"Fine by me." Joanna moves to sit down on the other side of me. "Do you guys wanna watch something?"

"You've Got Mail," June says, sitting back down on the chair across from me.

I slide the note into my textbook, closing it abruptly. "Actually, I need to study for my exam tomorrow, but I'll catch up with you guys tonight, okay?"

I leave the girls, and I take my books upstairs. I knock on Tristan's suite door, and I'm in instant relief when he answers. He was obviously just sleeping based on his clothing choice, his hair, and his very tired face, but he welcomes me in with open, warm arms.

He tugs me away, and we move back to his bedroom. He crashes back to bed, and I sit next to him, and I open my textbook. However, as I try to focus on studying, my mind wanders back to the note tucked away in my other textbook I left back at the suite.

Who could want to meet me? Why would someone want to meet me at night, next to the Law Library on Saturday? I don't know if I should tell Tristan, maybe ask him if he'll go with me because while I think this is suspicious, I still have a sinking feeling that I need to see who this person is, and what they want. It'll bug me forever if I don't go see this mystery person on Saturday, so while I always go home at the weekends, I think I should take a detour and find out what this person wants.

They always couldn't discuss something with me during the day or in front of others, so I should go and figure out why, right? But what if this is all a prank, and I look like a giant idiot? What if somebody is waiting to prank me or laugh at me?

I could tell my dad, but I don't want him to get all freaked out and protective. He'd storm Yale looking for this person, and he would insist on coming with me, so he's out of the question.

I look to Tristan who has shockingly fallen back to a deep sleep. His arm is resting around my leg, his face is pressed against my thigh, and his mouth is open ever so slightly. He looks relaxed. He looks freaking adorable. I don't want to wake him, not when he was up all last night studying. His exam went well today though, and he has another one in two days, so I understand his need to catch up on sleep. I stare at him, wondering if I should tell him about the note. He'd probably freak out too, so maybe I shouldn't mention it, not when I don't even know if I'm definitely going.

No, I think I'm definitely going to go.

I just don't know how wise it would be for me to go, that's all.

It would definitely help if somebody came with me, but I'm limited on my options. All my suite mates know but they could have plans or literally anything better to do than sit around, waiting for me to meet some mysterious person.

I'm supposed to be studying, but my mind is occupied by that freaking note.

I didn't recognise the handwriting, but why would I if I don't even know the person?

My phone starts buzzing, and Tristan groans, his face present further into my leg. "Sorry." I place one hand in his hair, and my other hand reaches for my cellphone.

Dad is calling me, so I obviously answer. "Dad."

"Liz is getting married." Well, he cut right to the chase with that one, didn't he?

"I'm sorry, what?"

"She's getting married to TJ, on Saturday, in the middle of town." My eyes widen, a little surprised, but I should've seen it coming with how Liz and TJ were acting while they were town last time. "Obviously, she wants you to come, and she was hoping you'd be the maid of honour?"

My jaw drops. "Me?"

"Yeah, she said, and I quote, "She's my favourite niece, why wouldn't I want her to be"?"

"I'm her only niece," I deadpan.

"Yeah, I know."

"Well, uh..." I sigh, digging my fingers into Tristan's hair. "Yeah, of course I'll do it."

"Can you come home Friday night? She's having a bachelorette party and she wants you there." I open my mouth to argue. "I tried to get you out of it, kid, but I couldn't. Please."

I swallow my fear of having to spend my Friday night with my Aunt Liz and her drunk friends from high school, and I nod. "Yeah, sure. I'll be home Friday night."

"Thank you. I'm going to New York now so──"

"You're what?"

"I'm going to New York to get your cousin."

I roll my eyes. "He's your nephew."

"Yeah, whatever." Dad sighs loudly, and I laugh softly. "He said he wasn't coming to Liz's wedding, so I'm going to New York to convince him otherwise."

"Well, let me know how that goes."

"Well, if it doesn't work, I'll send you up there to talk to him. He always listens to you."

"He doesn't always listen to me, Dad."

"More so than me." Well, I can't argue with that. "Anyway, just wanted to give you an update. Are you sure you're okay with being the maid of honour?"

"Yeah, of course, it'll be an honour," I joke.

"Thank you, kid. I'll call you later on, okay?"

"Yeah. Bye, Dad." I hang up, and Tristan makes a small grunt of acknowledgment.

"What was that about?"

"Liz is getting married," I tell him, moving my fingers through his hair which he seems to be enjoying. "I'm going to be the maid of honour. Do you want to come with me?"

"Yeah. Sure." He yawns, and I move my fingers across his cheek.

"Go back to sleep, sweets."

"Lay down with me." He pushes one of my books off my lap, and I can't help but laugh. "I know you don't need to study." His arm tightens around my leg, and I take it upon myself to place my other books down before I slide down the bed, resting next to him.

His arm circles my waist, and his head lays on my chest. I continue to run soothing circles in his hair which he definitely enjoys. "Hey, Blue?"

I hum, resting my chin on his head.

"I love you."

"I love you too." I press my lips against his head. "Now go to sleep."

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soph speaks:

should lucy & tristan get an apartment together or wait a lil longer . . . thoughts???

should lucy go meet the mystery human?????

oh, and jess is back next chapter (for a few chapters following) so you'll see him and lucy interact once again (yay??????)

thankyou for reading this chapter!!!!!

p.s. not been spell checked or edited bcos i'm lazy and i have school and i just wanted to give y'all a chapter so