[Published: 15.04.2021]

Thanks to randomstuff2021 for requesting this! They have a LOTR preferences book out, so make sure you check it out; it's really good! Also, I've recently got in BBCs Sherlock, so when I look at this gif, all I see is John Watson trying to get some alone time whilst Sherlock is doing what he does🤣. Anyway, I hope you enjoy my first Bilbo oneshot!

Bilbo sighed, tossing over in the bedroll. The blanket was cold; he may as well have been covered in snow. The thin fabric couldn't shield him from the chilly air. It was a fruitless to try and bundle himself up; there was no escape from the gelid touch. He certainly didn't want to go and lie by the side of any of the dwarves- he guessed they'd all be less than happy to wake up next to his nervous face. He figured lying down and continuing to contemplate wasn't going to do any good, so he hauled himself up and stretched his legs.

He had not strayed far, when he happened upon (Y/N), one of the dwarves from the company. He stopped in his tracks, a blush coming over his cheeks. He didn't want to bother her, and so turned on his heels.

"Bilbo?"

He cringed at her voice. So much for being alone. "(Y/N)!" he said. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to, erm...I'm going back to the company..."

"Wait! Bilbo, what's wrong?"

His nose twitched. "Nothing."

The woman crossed her arms, her lips pursing. "We've known each other long enough for me to tell when you're lying. I would hope you'd trust me enough now to talk to me if you ever never to."

"No, it's not that I don't trust you! I j-just--"

His hand crawled through his locks of hair, nails scathing his scalp. Flustered and frantic, he drifted closer to (Y/N). "I just... it's a little embarrassing. I...I don't feel comfortable talking about it."

Unravelling her arms, her fingers slipped against his shoulder. Her touch was soothing. "I won't judge you. I promise. You can say anything to me, and I will not make you feel bad about it. Just let it out, at least to get your mind of it."

Reluctantly, the halfling sat down on the floor, with (Y/N) by his side. Her hand left his sleeve, and he found himself missing her touch. "I couldn't sleep. It was cold."

"...and?"

"I was...scared," he jittered, nose twitching fiercely.

"Scared of what, exactly?"

"I don't know. The quest? This... journey. That I might...that I might die? That someone else might die because I can't defend them? That...that I'll never return to be Hobbiton! And even if I do...I will never be the same. That I will never be able to go back and pretend nothing happened."

His breaths were laboured, his little heart trembling. His fingers switched, fighting off the urge to shiver. Though abashed in front of the dwarrowdam, he did not regret his words. His heart was freed from the disconsolate burden, and he could breathe with more certainty. He forgot the woman was beside him, and for those few moments of silence enjoyed his freedom. A soft touch brought him back to face his insecurities and all.

(Y/N) grasped his hand, holding the hobbit with firmness in grip and in her heart. "I understand you are scared Bilbo. I cannot say that none of those things will happen, I'm no seer. Those things may befall you." He swallowed. He knew the answer, but he had hoped she could deny it. "But Bilbo...we will be there for you every step of the way. That is a promise."

He scoffed. "Thorin loathes me, and he does not even conceal it. I'm sure he's sooner let me die than save my life."

"Then let me rephrase that," she said sharply, tugging his arm forward. "I will be there. No matter what. That is my promise."

Bilbo looked down at their hands- interwoven, befitting one another perfectly. He focused back on her face. "You don't need to do that."

"Well I am. I don't care about the other dwarves, I care about you. And I will do all I can to make sure you return home to your little hole in the ground, hobbit."

He wanted to embrace her in that moment; but their hands had been repelled spontaneously. Though their eyes could not be removed from each other, there was a monumental distance put between them. Bilbo couldn't describe what it was, but it was there. He hoped that there could be a way to reach out to her again. But in that moment, he could only beam.

"Thank you, (Y/N). You are too kind."

"It's...it's my pleasure, Bilbo. You will always be able to rely on me."