Lydia did all the research she could on drug withdraw before heading over to visit Rue, once Leslie gave the okay.

"Hey, trouble." Lydia leaned on Rues doorway as she looked in at her.

Rue turned from her curled up position with her pillow, a weak smile on her face at the sight of her. "That you, Pluto?"

"Brought you a bunch of Poweraid for the dehydration." Lydia held up the plastic bag. "Every flavor because I don't know what you like."

"I'll drink them all." Rue lied, moving some for Lydia to sit next to her laying body.

"How's it going?" she gave her a sympathetic look. "You feeling like shit?"

"Mm." Rue hummed. "I look it?"

"Yes, but, not in a bad way." Lydia gave her a small smile. "Like, pretty shit."

Rue rose her eyebrows. "I'll take it."

She slowly sat up to stare back at her. "I think the worst part is over. The past few days, breaking the fever. Vomiting has stopped, for the most part."

"That's good." Lydia gave an encouraging smile. "You know, i'm proud of you."

"Oh, don't be like a rehab group." Rue cringed.

"I'm serious." Lydia laughed. "I really am. Just imagine after, your eye bags will go away. That's a plus."

Rue cracked a grin as she laid back again. "Will you stay the night?"

"I don't think you're in a good shape to deal with me in the middle of the night." Lydia admitted, already embarrassed Rue had to wake her twice for nightmares.

"No, I want you to." she pointed out with a shake of her head. "Ali is suppose to come and make dinner for us."

"Hi, sorry." Lydia walked into the dining room from the shower.

"I puked on her." Rue excused Lydias absence.

"And you're still here?" Ali asked as he shook Lydia's hand. "Sit down before you run for the hills."

Rue grinned at Lydia in her town tie-dye shirt and biker shorts. "I'm Lydia, Rues friend."

"Oh, yeah. I know about you." he agreed while getting her a plate. "So, Rue. So, you think you hit rock bottom?"

Lydia choked on her drink at the blunt question, Leslie reaching over and patting her back for her as Lydia apologized. That being said, the woman had to answer for her daughters silence. "Yes."

"Um.." Rue trialed off awkwardly, trying to laugh it off. "Okay, I know that I have a lot of apologizing to do. Uh, I get that. So, I just figured that's i'd, you know, go to rehab, get clean, you know, sort my shit out, and, um... then come back, and...apologize."

Lydia let it sink in as she popped a pea into her mouth.

"So, you want to get clean?" Ali asked her. He looked toward Gia. "How do you feel about that?"

Lydia watched the younger girl look slightly bitter. "If it's real, then great."

"It is." Rue said in return.

"You've said that before." Gia hadn't missed a beat with his comebacks, Lydias eyebrows rose.

"Gia." Leslie scolded her. "Come on."

"What's wrong with her not believing that?" Ali looked her way in questioning.

"I think she needs all of our support." Leslie said in return as she looked toward Rue. "Right?"

Lydia placed her hand on Rues knee when she saw the faint guilty and hurt look she had in her eye.

"I don't think there's a question of support. When you've let someone down again and again, I think it's fair to loose a little faith." Ali defended Gia honesty with the fork and knife in hand. "Lydia, what do you think?"

"She wasn't around last time I got out of rehab." Rue spoke up.

"Okay." Ali shrugged. "But, she is now."

"What do I think about her wanting to her clean or about Gias feelings?" Lydia blinked in questioning.

"Both." Ali shrugged.

Lydia inhaled. "Well, I guess I feel kinda guilty for not encouraging Rue to get clean before. I mean, I knew she'd been using."

"You didn't know." Rue shook her head. "She didn't know I was suppose to be sober."

"Still, she feels guilty. Those are her feelings." Ali pointed out. "Does Rue need to apologize to you too?"

"It's not her fault I feel guilty." Lydia had to defend Rue.

"But is there anything else she needs to apologize to you for?" he corrected himself.

Lydia thought of multiple things immediately.

She hadn't answered the question, glancing to Gia. "I think Gias reaction is valid. I mean, she's just a kid, she shouldn't have to know that addiction is a stressful and long term thing."

"What do you think?" Gia looked to Ali, realizing he'd gone around the table but was yet to say anything of his own. "Do you think she'll get clean?"

Ali looked to Rue. "I don't know."

"She said it's like a five percent chance, right?" Gia spoke up again, Lydia was bothered by her talking like Rue wasn't right there. Rues hand placed itself onto Lydia's hand on her knee.

"Something like that." Ali nodded.

Gia shrugged. "Where's the hope in that?"

Leslie and Lydia both looked as though it was taking everything to not say something. But, Ali was as calm as ever. "The hope is what Rue has to find."

The rain poured outside as Rue hummed. "Yeah, piece of cake."

Rue and Lydia laid face to face in bed, Rue had told her everything that happened. Lydia frowned. "I'm started to realize Elliot might be the worst tutor."

Rue cracked a grin. "I just didn't expect them to throw me under the bus. And our brief case, I mean-"

"Maybe Laurie will understand if we explain." Lydia blinked, staring over at her. "I don't know."

Rue listened to the heavy rain outside as her hand placed onto Lydias. "I need to say sorry to you."

"Don't worry about it." Lydia tried.

"I robbed your house and made you cry." Rue gave a guilty look. "I do need to worry about it."

Lydia frowned. "I know you weren't yourself."

"Still." she inhaled. "I'm really sorry, Lydia. I know how I made you feel, and I just want you to know that I do actually really like you and if I made you feel like- like I was using you, i'm sorry."

Lydia let it sink in, curled up by her side. "I got you something."

Rue watched her reach backwards to her small purse, coming back with a little chain, a saturn on the end. "I've got a pluto one."

Rue smiled, seeing it around her neck. "You got that for me?"

"Happy one day clean." Lydia cracked a small grin as Rue sat up, putting it on before laying back down. "Do you like it?"

Rue smiled with a nod. "Love it."

Lydias hand interlocked with hers as they laid side by side. She blinked, Rue blinking back. The Mars girl was hesitant, sitting up and leaning over Rue to kiss her. Rues hands found her waist immediately, holding her as she kissed her back. Lydia pulled back to look down at her. "Was that okay?"

"Yeah, it was okay." Rue nodded, Lydia laid back down next to her as they grinned at each other.

She looked hesitant. "It happened on September 9th, third period. It was a Thursday."

Rue adjusted to listen as Lydia inhaled. "I was going to bring my history book back to the library, because I checked it out. The hallways were empty, everyone was in class."

Rue placed a hand on her face as Lydia paused to catch her breath. "The first gun shot I heard, I thought it was the doors slamming. The ones near the cafeteria were always so loud, but then I heard people screaming, and two more gun shots."

Rues thumb placed itsself unfer Lydias eye, ready to catch a tear if it were to fall.

"So, I hid in the janitors closet. It was really cold, and I couldn't see anything so I used my phone flashlight." she recalled every little detail. "When I called the police, they said officers were already on their way. But, I didn't charge my phone the night before and it died on me. So, I was just alone, and in the dark."

"I heard people getting closer, I think they were trying to run for the doors everyone walks through." Rue caught the single tear. "But, they didn't make it. I know they went down, because I heard a drop after a shot. It scared me so bad that I jumped, and my back hit the shelf so cleaning supplies fell."

She paused, taking a minute to keep it together. Rue moved in closer to hold her. "The shooter tried to open the door, because he heard me. He shot the lock, letting the door open. So, he pushed the door open and held his gun out to me. Officer Hawkins shot him from the end of the hallway, his blood was all over me. All over my clothes, my face, my shoes."

She shifted when she said it, because apart of her could feel it. "I couldn't bring myself to wash my clothes or my shoes. They're just covered in blood, in the back of my closet."

"I understand." Rue whispered to her.

Lydia shut her eyes as Rue pulled her head into her chest. As she fell asleep, after telling someone exactly what happened, in Rues arms, she didn't wake up with a bad nightmare for the first time in nearly six months.

•

kylie speaks

BEEN WAITING FOR THIS
ONE!!