𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆: 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐟 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐲 𝐏𝐞𝐭𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐫𝐧

...🌺...

𝑷𝑹𝑬𝑺𝑬𝑵𝑻, 𝑀𝑌𝑆𝑇𝐼𝐶 𝐹𝐴𝐿𝐿𝑆

𝐍𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝟐𝟎𝟎𝟗

"𝐀𝐧𝐲 𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐚𝐠𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐫 𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞?"

I crossed my legs, steadying my voice as I met Liz's gaze from behind her wooden desk. "No." 

She nodded, pen scratching against the edge of her paper as the silence took its toll. I kept my hands clasped in my lap, forcing them still. They wanted to fidget with the uncomfortable lies that sat heavy on my tongue. But if I told her the truth—that Vicki hadn't run away, that Damon turned her and killed her, it would put everyone in danger, especially Damon. And no matter how much I try to push Damon from my mind or these feelings I have for him away...I couldn't. 

For reasons out of my control that I couldn't begin to understand, I cared about Damon. 

"So, you believe Vicki really left town?" Liz asked skeptically. 

"Yes." The lie left my lips without hesitation. 

She stood. "Well, if you remember anything else..." 

I stood too, holding her gaze. "I'll let you know." 

Without another word, I turned, leaving her study office. The overhead bulbs flickered the further I walked by, passing desks and deputies moving around. I didn't stop even when Elena, Jenna, and Jeremy joined me outside walking down the steps as the cold air from outside brushed against my cheeks. 

Elena grabbed my arm, and I stopped, following her gaze. Stefan stood a few feet away with his hands shoved into the pockets of his jeans. 

"We'll meet you guys at the car." Elena said, glancing behind me at her aunt and brother. 

Jenna nodded, draping an arm across Jeremy's shoulders. "Okay." 

They moved across the parking lot, and I turned just as Stefan stepped forward, his gaze on Elena. "Are you okay?" 

I watched Elena stiffen before answering. "I don't think the sheriff suspected anything. Jeremy had no memory at all. All he knew was what Damon made him know." 

He searched her eyes and said, "Thank you." 

I pulled away from Elena, giving them a moment, not wanting to get caught up in whatever post break up talk they were going to have. 

It wasn't hard to see that Stefan cared about Elena, and vice versa. But what Elena's been through is a lot for anyone normal person to take. I grew up in this world, but Elena didn't. Her entire world flipped upside down in a couple of days. A month ago, she was just a girl falling in love with a boy and trying not let the loss of her parents overtake her. 

Now she knew that vampires and witches were real and that her boyfriend, well, ex-boyfriend and best friend, were one, respectively. 

"Why don't we go somewhere and talk about it?" Stefan's voice carried across the parking lot. 

"No, Stefan," Elena snapped. "You have to stay away from me." 

I paused, glancing over my shoulder. Elena walked away from him, chin held high but shoulders drawn tight like she was barely keeping herself together. She moved, opening Jenna's door and sliding into the passenger seat, closing the door behind her. 

My gaze found Stefan's, who had his brows drawn together. "I was trying to help her." 

All I could do was nod. "I know, Stefan." He exhaled like he'd needed someone to know that he hadn't meant for any of it to happen. "But people still got hurt." 

He nodded, looking past me with his jaw tight because there was nothing else to say. Vicki died. And unlike with Jeremy, Stefan and Damon couldn't pretend that she didn't. 

I slipped into the car. The softness of Jenna's seats grounding me as she pulled off. 

...🌺...

I flipped through the brittle pages of one the Hastings grimoires that I snuck out of the Hastings Manor when I left. The smell of old paper and lavender oil clung to the air. I'd been searching for anything that might explain the voices I'd heard the night Vicki almost killed Jeremy. It was like they were warning me. 

But so far there was nothing. 

My thumb grazed the uneven edge of the parchment when a knock rapped against my door. I shut the book, sliding it under my pillow just as Elena poked her head inside. 

"Come with me to see Stefan?" 

I frowned. "Why?" I twisted on the bed to face her fully. "Didn't you just tell him to stay away from you?" 

Her mouth pressed into a thin line. "Please." 

That one word and the plead in her eyes made me give in. 

I groaned, dragging my hands over my face. "Fine." 

We didn't talk much on the drive. I didn't press her about Stefan, because she would tell me when she was ready. She was still figuring out what it meant to love someone who was a vampire and could kill her. 

And so I kept my mouth shut. 

The boarding house came into view at the end of the long dirt road. My muscles tensed and pleaded with whoever could hear me that a certain blue-eyed vampire would not be here as I stepped out, pulling my jacket tighter as Elena glanced at the house. 

"He's probably not even here," she murmured. 

"A girl can hope." 

She cut me a look. "You know he's got a weird obsession with you." 

"Oh, I'm aware." My gaze lingered on the heavy wooden door. "Can we not talk about Damon?" 

"Fine," she sighed. 

She pressed the doorbell, and it only run for half a second as a woman's voice called, "It's open! Come on in!" 

I raised a brow but stepped in with her. 

We didn't get far before a blonde woman, wrapped in nothing but a towel, froze mid-step. Her eyes went wide as they bounced between me and Elena. 

"Oh, my God!" she gasped. "How—uh—wh...who?" 

"I'm Elena," my best friend said, recovering first. 

The woman's gaze slid back to me and stayed there. Her gaze was piercing like she'd just seen a ghost. 

I shifted under it. "Selene." 

Elena crossed her arms. "Who are you?" 

"Lexi. A friend of Stefan's," she said after a pause. 

"Is he here?" Elena asked, peering past her toward the shadowed hallway. 

Lexi hooked a thumb behind her. "He's in the shower. Do you want to wait?" 

"No," Elena shook her head quickly. 

"I'll tell him you stopped by," Lexi offered, and her eyes flicked to me again. "Both of you." 

Elena made a dismissive sound, already turning away. "That's okay." 

I hesitated, caught in her stare again. It was the kind of look that said she knew something I didn't, and I hated it. 

I followed Elena out, the door shutting behind us with a thud. 

"I guess he moved on," Elena said as she started the car. 

I didn't answer. 

The road stretched ahead, and my head leaned back against the seat, eyes half on the blur of branches passing by. But all I could think about was Lexi. The way she looked at me like she recognized me. 

Like she'd seen me before. 

But that's impossible. 

Right? 

...🌺...

"Go talk to him," I said, leaning close so she could hear me over the hum of voices and clack of pool balls. 

"He's busy," she muttered, eyes locked on where Stefan leaned over a table, lining up a shot. Lexi hovered near him, laughing. 

I raised an brow. "Elena, you came here for him." I turned her to face me. "So go talk to him." 

Her eyes darted away. "I'm going to the bar." 

She slipped from my grip, and I sighed, watching her disappear into the crowd. 

"Your Selene, huh?" 

The voice pulled my attention to a blonde in a fitted black dress and heels. 

"And you're Lexi," I said, studying her. 

She grinned like she knew something I didn't. "Here." She held out a shot glass. "Tequila." 

I hesitated but took it. "Thanks...I think." 

"Come on." 

She hooked my arm and steered me to the bar, and I sat the wood sticky under my palms. 

Lexi leaned in. "Want some advice?" I blinked at her, waiting. "Don't trust Damon." 

I traced the rim of the glass. "I don't. Not after what he did to my friends." 

"According to Stefan," she said. "Damon used to be good. But after he was turned and after he lost the love of his life, he changed." 

My gaze sharpened. "Why are you telling me this?" 

"Because," she said with a sigh. "As much as I hate Stefan's brother, I think a lot of what he does comes from a place of loss. No matter how messed up it looks from the outside." 

I leaned closer. "Tell me about her." 

"I only know what Stefan told me," Lexi warned. "Damon couldn't save her. He blames himself." She downed my shot without asking. "She meant everything to him. And he'd do anything to bring her back." 

My stomach tightened. "Anything?" 

"I know when Damon's planning something," Lexi said. "I don't know the details, but I know he's not the man Stefan remembers. He's dangerous. You and Elena should stay away before you get hurt." 

Her words clung to me, and I couldn't stop myself as I asked, "Ever felt a pull to someone?" 

Lexi blinked. 

"Like no matter how hard you try to stay away, no matter what kind of person they are...you still want to be near them." 

"Yeah." She smiled faintly. "The love of my life was human. He went through what I imagine you're going through: denial, anger, et cetera. But at the end of the day, love really did conquer all." She patted my hand. "You might feel a pull to him, Selene. But until he proves it, you deserve better." 

I couldn't help it as the small smile graced my lips. "I think I like you." 

"Of course you do." She smirked. "What's not to like?" 

The smirk vanished as her body jerked. My head whipped around in time to see Liz pulling a syringe from Lexi's arm as her deputies flanked her. 

"What are you doing?!" Damon called out as Liz dragged Lexi toward the door. 

"Thank you for the vervain," Liz replied, cool and brisk, pushing past him with Lexi in tow. "Now, if you'll excuse me."

My stomach tightened. I slid off my stool and caught Damon's arm before he could follow. "You told Liz about Lexi?"

His expression was unreadable. "Sunshine—"

But the truth was right there in his eyes, no matter how he tried to bury it. My fingers loosened. I stepped back like the floor had shifted under me. "I can't believe you."

I didn't wait for his excuse. I shoved through the door into the alley, the cool air biting at my skin. My boots pounded the pavement as I scanned the shadows for them.

Lexi didn't deserve this. She hadn't hurt anyone, and she sure as hell hadn't threatened me. The Council's black-and-white thinking—kill all vampires—wasn't justice. It was fear.

Gunshots cracked the air. 

I broke into a run, rounding the corner just in time to see Liz firing again and again, the muzzle flashes stark against the dark. Lexi stumbled but didn't fall, each bullet forcing a gasp, but her body shook off the damage almost instantly.

Then another gasp, sharper. My eyes widened as Damon appeared behind her with a stake in his hand. In a breath, he plunged the wood into her chest, her body arching. Liz crumpled to the pavement behind him, dazed. 

But it was Lexi's face twisted in pain that stole my breath. Her face twisted in pain as her eyes found Damon's. 

"Why?" she choked out. 

His answer was barely a murmur as he twisted the stake. 

My throat burned as I fought back the sting in my eyes. Gray began to bloom under her skin, black veins spidering out from the wound until she collapsed, lifeless, onto the pavement. 

"You okay?" Damon asked, glancing at me and Liz. 

"Thank you," Liz muttered, still catching her breath. "Get her in the car. Quickly." 

I turned away before they could see my face. 

Her screams still echoed in my head, though she was dead. The sound clung to me, seeping into my bones, colder than the night air. My legs carried me without thought towards my car. 

"Sunshine!" 

I stopped beside the driver's side door. My hands curled into fists. I spun on him and let my emotions rain over me. The slap came before I could think better of it, my palm stinging. 

"You killed her." My voice cracked. 

"I had to." He rubbed his cheek, jaw tight. "To get them off Stefan and my trail." 

"No, Damon." I shook my head, the anger pushing past the ache in my chest. "You did it because you felt threatened." His jaw clenched harder. "You only ever think about yourself, and the consequences be damned. Do you even care that you just killed your brother's best friend?" 

"I did what I had to," he bit out. "I won't apologize for it. I did what needed to be done." 

I held his gaze, letting him see exactly how much it hurt. "Then I hope it was worth it." 

"It was," he said without hesitation. 

"Good." My voice dropped to a whisper. "Because I never want to see you again." 

I reached for the door, but his hand shot out, gripping mine, pulling me forward until my chest collided with his. 

"Damon—let go." 

"No." His grip tightened. "Because you need to understand, sunshine—" 

I yanked against his hold. "Understand what, Damon?" I searched his face, looking for the truth that he was hiding. "I know you came here with a plan. But whatever you're doing is getting people killed." 

"Then that's the price to pay," His voice was flat, unyielding. "If you hate me for it, fine. But I'm doing this—"

"Why?!" The word tore out of me. 

"To protect you!" 

I froze. "Me?" 

"Yes." His voice dropped, raw. "Ever since I met you, I've been trying to protect you." Rain began to fall, the first drops cold against my cheeks. "This is the only way I know how." 

"Why?" The word barely made it out, drowned by the patter of rain. "Why is it so important to you to protect me, Damon?" 

"I can't." His eyes locked on mine, something unspoken burning there. "I can't tell you." 

The rain came harder, plastering my hair to my face, dripping into my eyes. I could see his truth in that stare, but I couldn't accept it. Protecting me didn't mean killing anyone who might someday pose a threat. 

"I don't need you protecting me." My voice was low, steady despite the tears. "I can protect myself." He reached for me again, but I smacked his hand away. "Don't touch me." 

His hand dropped to his side, but the determination in his eyes didn't falter. 

I turned, slipping into my car without another word. My fingers gripped the steering wheel so tightly I thought it might crack. I didn't look back, even when I felt his eyes on me as I pulled out of the lot. 

The wipers swept away the rain, but not the image burned into my mind—Lexi's face in those final seconds. 

I wanted to hate him. I needed to. 

But the truth sank like a stone in my gut. 

I hate that I can't hate him.

...🌺...

𝐀/𝐍: I'M BACK!!!

I know it's been a minute, but my life has been so hectic with my new job and life in general.

So, not a lot of moments between Selene and Damon, but more angst. 

Anyway, I hope you enjoy the update!!!

𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒: How are we feeling about the rewrite? Did you hate Lexi's death? What are you looking forward to in the rest of this book?

-𝑀𝑎𝑘𝑒𝑛𝑎 𝐵𝑙𝑎𝑐𝑘