you built a giant castle with walls so high i couldn't see the way it all unraveled
and all the things you did to me

Odilia Hill knew she wasn't normal when she was the reason her friend had to be declared legally blind in one eye. She was seven years old when she challenged her then-best friend whose name she can remember no longer, to a game of Stare At The Sun. Yes, the game we all played as kids before we heard of how dangerous it was and stopped doing it-usually. Odilia challenged WhatsHerName to the game because she wanted her to see the man in the sun too, but...it didn't go to plan. WhatsHerName burst into tears after three minutes, much to Odilia's shock. She ran to her parents, the playdate was done, and the next time Odilia saw her, she was wearing an eyepatch and glasses. Something about the sun giving her permanent retinal damage, which Odilia didn't understand, because during the entirety of Stare at The Sun, she had been having a staring contest with that guy in the sun who had the bluest eyes she had ever seen, and how could WhatsHerName have gotten 'permanent retinal damage' from a staring contest?

They only looked at each other from opposite sides of the playground after that, Odilia figured NoReallyWhatsHerName was too weak to stay friends with for much longer than second grade. That was the only secret she had ever kept from her mother, Cassandra Hill, the secret about the man waving high from the sun in the sky. Only once had Odilia ever brought up this Sunny Waving Man, and boy oh boy, had she never seen her mother so angry before or since that day, the day of her fifth birthday. Without the filter of an adolescent, Odilia had asked her mom what shade of Crayola crayons she was trying to be, and lets just say the nonverbal answer that weird Red Orange Crayola. You know that one, the one that is always more orangey when you want it to be red and red-y when you want it to be orangey.

Crayola was never mentioned again in the Hill household, neither was any man in the sky, the sun, the moon, or the stars (well, Odilia saw a woman in the moon, but she figured it'd be best to avoid that topic from any angle). Life was something that Odilia always enjoyed, or at least it was something she always put her best foot forwards with. She couldn't read for shit, and math beyond long division wasn't comprehensible, but boy oh boy did her elementary and middle school music teachers love her. The young girl was naturally gifted with perfect pitch and an incredible ability to compose and perform music. If she had gotten to make it to high school, Odilia would probably have considered going to college to pursue music further, but a trip to Broadway with her 'Uncle' Tony changed all of that forever. Phantom of the Opera still sends shivers up her spine, all because of one snake. She was only three months into the seventh grade until she was introduced to some horse in a wheelchair and an alcoholic god.

Flash forward seven years later, and what has Odilia got? A mother who she hasn't seen in seven years, a father who only takes on that title when it's convenient for him? Or perhaps siblings who don't feel comfortable talking about being upset with their dad-oh, or how about the other campers who only go to Odilia when they want something from her, be it getting healed or a sparring session or a cool story? No, no, she has a life at nineteen years old! That has to be something she's grateful for, since many before her never get into those young adult years. Actually, scratch that, she shouldn't compare herself to those in the past, she should be happy and proud of who she is and how far she's come, but she should never, ever forget where she came from. 

As a daughter of Apollo, Odilia should always be friendly and supportive and accepting and sociable and outgoing, but she should be wise like her aunt. But she can't be wise beyond her age, since she's 'too mature' for her age and should start to act and live like the age that she actually is, but how can she act her age when the world wants her to be this great big adult? How can she act her age when the Chiron wants her to be a leader of Camp Half Blood some day? How can she act her age when Apollo treats her like one of his friends? How can she be who everybody else wants her to be while still discovering herself in the last few years of being 'young'?

The only person who treats her like she's normal is the son of a thief. The only person who validates her feelings is the same person you're never able to figure out where you stand with him. The only person who makes her smile is the same person whose smile has a tendency to be deceiving. The only person who would die and kill for her could be the same one to break her heart if it meant he would be successful. But they owe each other their lives, and even Orpheus was blinded by love when Eurydice's life was at stake. Even Icarus did not realize he was too close to the sun until his eyes became twisted in the darkness of death.

SLOANE SPEAKS: i am over the MOON to be writing for 'sloane speaks' again, i'm also over the moon to reassure you guys that i will actually be writing in this book. i have been a fan of the percy jackson universe since i was in fifth grade, and i have loved luke since i read about him in book one. always a luke apologist-always have been, always will be. and at this point i can't remember who the villain is, i'm way past the point of getting others to help me. don't try, i'll be the sun to your icarus (i say that with love). but all of that aside! gwen rosales, andrew ward, and phaedra do not belong to me, they belong to the loml birdie! go read birdie's fic for gwen titled 'tolerate it'.

okay i'm almost done! dedications are getting rolled out now: to the aforementioned birdie (hothskies) for always being delulu with me, to nyx (oscarsisaac) for being by my side for a whole of 2 years now and watching me fly through so many fandoms and always supporting me, to cass (casslovesmads/siredtoanz) for being the best twin in the world i could ever ask for even if she gets annoyed by my percy jackson phase kicking in again, to val (stars-across-scars) for being just as in love with luke as i am & crafting the best aphrodite daughter to ever walk the wattpad realm, and last but not least: that one account who i followed on my first (not known to you guys) account who roleplayed as apollo and we were besties but they left wp and their account is gone and i probably will never ever talk to them again but if that person is ghost-reading somehow, you know who you are and i owe my love to apollo to said person!!

started: december 29th, 2023
published: january 23rd, 2024
(the actual idea of odilia has been in my head for 7 years)
finished: ????