FIFTEEN| CARRYING HELL AROUND

━━━━━━━★☾★☾★☾━━━━━━━

TEN YEARS AGO;
STAR CITY

CONSTANTINE STALKED UP THE SNOW COVERED STEPS of Caroline Edwards front porch. A cigarette between his lips and his hands buried deep within the pockets of his slacks. He pulled his cigarette out of his mouth with his left hand, distinguishing it in the dirt of Caroline's house plant that lied beside the welcome mat. That earned a glare from Chas who agreed to accompany him for support.

"You ready?" Chas asked him softly.

John flashed him a sad smile from over his shoulder. "To say goodbye to my little girl? Of course not, but I'm use to the people that I care about leaving. It's always for the best anyway."

Chas sighed heavily. He shook his head as if to physically rid of John's harsh comment. "This doesn't have to be goodbye, John. There could be another way to keep her safe without having you not be in her life."

John shook his head. "This is what needs to be done, mate. I'm not gonna allow any more dark entities to try and latch themselves onto my daughter because she has a bastard like me for a father."

"John-"

"Just drop it, will yeah?" He spat angrily, but him lashing out suddenly didn't upset Chas. He knew his friend was hurting, and he couldn't begin to manage how he felt. He couldn't bear to leave his little Geraldine behind.

Caroline Edwards opened the door after the third knock. Her smile was just as bright and welcoming as the day he met her. He was grateful that she didn't hate him for knocking her up at a young age, and instead she was able to cut him some slack. Unlike her parents who despised everything that he was.

In truth, Caroline wasn't too thrilled about being pregnant as a teenager, but she couldn't put all the blame on John. It was just as much her fault as it was his. However, even though Olivia Hayley Edwards was very much unplanned, she was still the best thing that has happened to both John and Caroline. They didn't regret her for one second. With that in mind, the two became friends and coparents for their little girl.

"Hey, John." She grinned, and he flashed her a forced smile that didn't fool her. She knew something was wrong with him, but she decided not to push him. At least not right now. She decided to wait till later before she would question him. "You're early. It's only 9. You usually don't show up until later in the afternoon."

"Yeah, well, I thought why not mix it up." John retorted with his usual cocky smirk that she was used to as he waltzed inside. Chas followed after the warlock, greeting Caroline with a soft 'hello', which she acknowledged. "You know me, not really a fan of being predictable."

"Right. I forgot that's not your style." She teased with a smile. "Olive, your dad's here!" She then cheerfully called out to the unusually quiet house. Unusual to John that is. Every time he would enter the door, Olivia would either be singing Disney songs or screaming at the top of her lungs whatever that was running through her not-so little-imagination.

"That's odd." John muttered.

"What it is?" She questioned.

He shrugged as he tried to find the right words. "Usually she's a very rambunctious kid. It's too quiet-" Right on queue, the sound of footsteps descending down the stairs caught their immediate attention.

"Daddy!" Olivia squealed as she ran down the stairs right into her father's loving arms. John with ease lifted her off the ground spinning her around. The sound of their laughter fell in sync with one another earning a smile from Caroline and a sad one from Chas.

"Daddy, do you know what today is? Guess!" Six year old Olivia said excitedly the moment he placed her back on her feet. She wore a white summer dress. Her long blonde hair was braided down her back, and she wore a smile that radiated innocence.

John pretended to think hard about it. Olivia giggled to herself as she waited patiently for his answer. She swayed side to side on the heels of her bare feet. "It's Tuesday." He then said laughing soon after he saw the slight glare she had gave him for answering incorrectly.

"No!" She shook her head. "It's my birthday, daddy!" She beamed.

"No, your birthday was last year." He teased.

She laughed throwing her arms around John's neck hugging him again. "It is my birthday! Honest. I'm six!"

"You're six?! Wow you're a big girl now." John said and Olivia pulled back from their hug.

"Daddy, do the thing! Do your magic trick!" Olivia begged him as she tapped his arm repeatedly. Her big blue eyes shined brightly at the thought of him doing his famous trick that he does just for her. John's head dipped down as he chucked to himself at the magic trick she loved so much. It was absolutely hilarious to him what she found amusing.

"Anything for you, princess." He said with a grin, and she giggled at her nickname. John always did made her feel like a real princess. He would always spoil her with gifts that her mother wasn't always okay with. He did anything and everything he could to make her happy.

John showed Olivia his empty hands then waved them around dramatically before pulling a piece of chocolate wrapped in golden foil from her ear. He raised it for her to see and she absolutely loved it. She gasped loudly and quite dramatically. "Yes! Chocolate! Thank you, daddy!" She screamed as she snatched the chocolate right from his palm making the adults in the room laugh.

"All right, princess give your mother the chocolate." John said and Olivia frowned. "Unless you don't want your present." John sighed as he rose back up to his feet, and her eyes widened with excitement. "I guess I could always give it to your uncle Chas."

Olivia shook her head vigorously. "No! No I want it. Here, mommy." She quickly rose to her tippy toes handing off the piece of milk chocolate to Caroline.

"All right, your uncle Chas is bringing it in." John told the impatient birthday girl. Caroline hadn't even seen Chas leave, but the more she thought about what the gift could be the more anxious she was. John usually went overboard with the gifts. They were often so expensive and rather large for a little girl. We're not even gonna go into the kinds of gift he have given Olivia, but just know they have her wondering where the hell John gets this kind of money from.

Chas entered the front door caring a wrapped box bigger than Olivia. Caroline sighed as she rubbed her temple. "John." She warned.

"Aye, relax, all right luv. It's not that bad I promise." John defended himself, but his words didn't bring her any kind of reassurance.

"I don't know if your version of 'not that bad' is supposed to bring me peace." She half-joked.

"What is it?" Olivia asked curiously as she studied the box that's taller than her. Chas lied the flat box on its back so she could have a better chance at opening it on her own.

John shrugged as if he didn't have a clue. "I don't know, princess. You're just gonna have to open it and see, yeah?"

Olivia practically leaped toward the box. She tore the wrapping paper with quick hands. Her eyes grew wide as saucers as she stared down at the large art set staring right back at her. She loved to draw, paint, and basically anything that revolved around art. Art class was her favorite thing about school. She would always show John her little arts and crafts she would make at school when he visited her. She would always claim how she was gonna be an artist when she grew up.

"You can't be an artist without all this, right?" John said with a grin, and Olivia ran to her father with open arms. John laughed as he lifted his little girl into arms once again. She buried her head into his shoulder. John's eyes begun to stung as he remembered that after today he would never see her again. He moved his left hand to the back of her head as he held her tighter. Caroline frowned when she noticed his eyes turning red.

"I love you, daddy." Olivia whispered softly, and John began to silently cry.

"I love you too, princess. Always." He sniffled, and Olivia pulled back to see the tears falling. She wiped his cheeks the best she could, but new tears would soon fall replacing the ones she wiped away.

"Why are you crying?" She asked him innocently, and of course he could never tell her the truth. He couldn't tell her he could never see her again in order to keep her safe. She wouldn't understand. He didn't want her to be sad. He just hoped eventually she'd forget about him. The thought hurt like hell, but it was better than her ending up dead.

John forced a smile. "Nothing, princess."

━━━━━━━★☾★☾★☾━━━━━━━

"John!" Chas shouted in slight relief as he and Olivia spotted him limping a tad down the street. He never appeared with Anne Marie, and she refused to answer them about his whereabouts. Olivia was afraid that he was dead. She couldn't bear to lose him again.

"Oh. Ah, Chas and Liv." He said with a small smile. Olivia took in his appearance and he looked awful. Sweat coated his forehead. His eyes had bags and he was paler than usual. But what caught her attention was the big red blood stain on his white button up shirt.

"What the hell happened to you?!" Olivia panicked. She took a step forward to help, and he instinctively stepped back. Hurt flashed across her face and John noticed. He didn't mean to hurt her feelings. It's not that he didn't want her comfort or for her to be near him, he was afraid he'd hurt her. He wasn't fully in control, and he couldn't live with himself if he harmed her in anyway.

"It's bad. It's really bloody bad." John replied and even though he tried to fight it, she could tell he was scared.

"Let's get out of here." Chas said and as he went to touch John's arm, the warlock groaned making him retract his hand.

"Anne Marie, she made it out all right, then?" John asked them.

Olivia huffed at his question. "She's fine, now what happened with you?" She demanded him for answers again with crossed arms. He wasn't going to get away without answering them. Not this time.

Chas nodded. "Liv's right, John. What happened to you down there?"

"She's quick on her feet, our girl." He said. He tried to laugh but it came out as a strained cough. "She used the copper's gun. She left me behind to stall the hungry invunche..."

Chas's eyes practically popped out of his head, but Olivia couldn't say she was surprised. With the way she had been acting, this wasn't in the slightest bit surprising. However, she was still pissed. "Annie shot you?"

"Bitch." Olivia muttered under her breath.

"A bloody nun. It's a new low." John replied trying to find the humor in it, but Olivia didn't find it funny one bit. "Couldn't say I didn't deserve it, though."

"How did you survive the invunche?"

Olivia placed a hand on Chas's chest as if to silence him momentarily. "Also, how did you survive being shot? By the amount of blood on your shirt, and the fact that she actually shot you, you shouldn't even be standing on your own. What did you do?"

"The only way I-I could." He hesitantly raised the necklace he gave Annie earlier. "I cast off my spiritual protections, invited a demon to take my body for a spin. Unholy bastard first order of business was to heal its host."

"You're possessed?!" Olivia gaped. She couldn't believe what he had done. Why would he even think to do something that stupid?

"I feel surprisingly good." John tried to reassure her to make her feel less scared, but it wasn't working at all. "It's like the flu. There's an incubation period between the first infection and....full on possession."

John shrugged his shoulder nonchalantly then began to walk off down the road in the direction of their hotel. "I figure I got a couple of days before it takes up permanent residence." Olivia couldn't believe what she was hearing. She didn't understand how he could be so cool about all of this. She was terrified, and him acting so indifferent to the situation didn't calm her down. If anything, it made her even more afraid than she originally was.

"John, stop. What if you can't get it out?" Chas asked the question they both were thinking.

John's eyes sadden. He looked to Olivia-his sight lingered on her as if he was taking her in for the last time-before he glanced back at Chas. "Well, then you'll just have to finish what Anne Marie started. Kill me."

"No." Olivia said sternly as she shook her head. She refused to hear it. She wasn't gonna allow him to die. She would do anything it took to save his life. John dying wasn't an option. "There's no way in hell that's happening."

"Liv-"

"You can't ask me to do that." Chas cut him off.

Constantine chuckled sadly. "It's all right, mate. I've been carrying hell around with me my whole life. How much worse can the actual place be?"

Chas shook his head. "Weren't not there yet. What's your plan?" Olivia felt an ounce of relief at Chas's words. She was glad he wanted to save John as much as she did.

"More like a....gamble. Self-exorcism."

"You're joking, right? Is that even possible?" Olivia asked with raised brows.

"I wish I was. I need my bag. We need to move fast." John told them as he stepped forward. He suddenly bent over holding his stomach. Groans of pain soon transformed into animalistic growls.

"John?" Chas called to him cautiously. "You can beat this. John, fight it!"

John shook his head. The veins in his forehead popped out, and Olivia's hands were shaking at her sides. "Chas!" He said. His voice sounded distorted. "I can't."

"Dad, please." Olivia begged with tearful eyes, and John's heart broke and mended back together all at once. But the pain was overbearing, and he didn't know how long he could fight it off.

"John, fight it!" Chas shouted.

The thing inside John broke free faster than either of them expected. "I will not be cast out!" The thing yelled distortedly as it shoved both Chas and Olivia back with immense force.

The next moment happened too fast for her to comprehend. Olivia flew right into the lamp post nearby taking the breath of out her lungs and swallowing her in darkness. The muffled cries of her name being called in the night were the last thing she heard before her eyes shut.