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8,500 words

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Mention of a toxic past relationship, phase of depression

In the course of Jimin's life, he has already experienced a lot since he met Jeongguk. Both exciting and thrilling. Every time, he thought, this is it! This is the most exciting experience; it's replaced and topped by another. At least that's true in many cases, and if Jimin had never been to a film studio, he would have said so today. But can one really count this?

He had panicked because a make-up artist had tripped over Jeongguk's bag at the time, and he hadn't really seen anything of the big studio until Jeongguk had taken him to the car. He wasn't at all used to all the attention Jeongguk was drawing to him, and it made him nervous, just like now.

The circumstance makes his heart beat faster. As he enters the studio, his hands become increasingly sweaty, so Jimin focuses mainly on the heavily built back in front of him. His ears move restlessly under the beige bucket hat, which is too tight for him and only unnecessarily constricts his ears.

A small 'oof' escapes his lips. After a few seconds of not paying attention, he runs into the muscular back. On reflex, his hand darts to his forehead and rubs the spot where they touched with his finger. Nothing hurts.

Nevertheless, he pouts when Jeongguk promptly turns to him. His attentive and concerned look makes Jimin slightly blush and lower himself to the floor. So much for. He didn't want to make his crush so obvious.

“Are you okay?” Jeongguk asks, reaching out to touch his arm.

Jimin nods quickly, unable to look at him, his gaze drifting to the set.

He looks around and promptly notices how modern the studio is furnished. Compared to the other film studio, it may not be half its size, but it's bigger than Jeongguk's living room. The room looks more like a flat, though this could also be because they are not in a film studio, but actually in a kind of flat that is part of the music broadcasting building.

Across from them is a white screen with a brown sofa and a coffee table in the middle, which must be where they will have the interview, Jimin concludes. Despite the white walls, the brown parquet floor and the few plants and furniture standing to the side make the room look livelier, like a studio in New York.

“I'm fine,” Jimin eventually says, his voice barely above a whisper. “Just a little clumsy.”

Jeongguk chuckles, lifts Jimin's hand, and touches it so tenderly as he looks at him gently that Jimin thinks he's fallen even deeper for him.

“It sometimes happens to the best of us. I know it's a beautiful room, just be careful next time, we don't want you injured.”

It's unfair when it comes to his heart. Jimin can't shield his heart and stop himself from seeing these kinds of gestures as something normal between two friends. Jeongguk makes it difficult for him.

As long as Jeongguk is close, engulfing him with his masculine scent and sending him mixed signals repeatedly, Jimin's hormones will go berserk, and his heart will pound faster. He would like nothing more than to reach out and place his hand on Jeongguk's neck or run his fingers over his cheek. However, reality is just as far away.

Not willing to let the moment linger any longer, he calmly dismisses it and points his head towards the manager, who is already conversing with the other boys and an employee of the music TV YouTube channel. Jeongguk said they are shooting a cover song and some kind of interview for today's music TV channel called ‘Under the Spotlight’, which will eventually be uploaded on YouTube.

From the corner of his eye, Jimin notices the others following a staff member from the hosting company, leading Jimin slightly into panic because Jeongguk hasn't moved one bit. Her black hair, tied up in a ponytail and swinging with every step, exudes professionalism as she wears a stylish casual look. Gently, Jimin pulls him behind the others by the sleeve of Jeongguk's thin, branded training jacket. He doesn't miss the glances of the others. Who is the stranger? He is not part of the band.

Duh and dressed in his black jeans, white oversized t-shirt, and bucket hat, Jimin doesn't precisely resemble a make-up artist either.

Jimin tries to ignore the rising unease in his chest. He is here to support Jeongguk and so that he doesn't have to be bored otherwise. Watching Jeongguk work is more exciting and definitely worth getting all those puzzled looks. He also had to endure a stern look and a few words from Jeongguk's manager. It would be funny if he didn't. After all, Jeongguk has to be given security. Jimin fully understands this. It had to come sooner or later.

“-First, there will be a kind of interview, with various questions and tasks. In other words, you will play a round of Jenga Truth or Dare before it comes to singing the cover,” Hwan explains, the manager, as Jimin enters the dressing room with Jeongguk in tow. “The game is very popular and will be well received. Still, we went through the Truths and Dares beforehand. Just to make sure.”

“Sounds like fun!” Youngjin calls in. A broad smile draws on his lips, like a Cheshire cat's. “I'm curious to see what truths and dares they've prepared.”

An annoyed groan escapes Minsu. “I hope they're not too embarrassing.”

“Oh, come on,” Youngjin counters, putting an arm around his bandmate and tipping his head sidewards. “Hwan won't let us down, right?”

Hwan barely noticeable, raises an eyebrow, studying each of the band members, his mouth twitching. He wouldn't have noticed if Jimin hadn't had a private conversation with him about Jeongguk's safety, allowing him to look at him more closely.

Hwan can't be older than around forty, so he has certainly gained enough experience in the business to train his facial expressions. So far, he has seemed quite severe and stern to Jimin. I wonder if he acts like this all the time. Based on how Youngjin talks to him, he has slight doubts.

“What good does it do me if you get questions that can expose you in public? You don't follow the ideal idol life, but that doesn't mean I want you to have any scandals or anything that could damage your career.”

“Hmm… I understand. Yet, that still hasn’t answered my question," Youngjin quips, pulling a corner of his mouth upwards. "How long have you been our manager now, Hwan?”

Jimin is not sure precisely what Youngjin is getting at. There is still a hint of amusement in his voice, and the two seem engaged in a staring contest until Hwan lets out a sigh. His lips quirk into a grin, and the manager seems like a different person to Jimin. The solemn atmosphere fades, and a light-hearted, playful mood weaves through the room.

“It may be that one or two somewhat embarrassing questions can be embarrassing. However, knowing you guys, they won't really matter. Otherwise, I wouldn't have passed them on with an 'okay'. You know I'm very cautious about that,” Hwan admits defeat and receives grateful smiles from the band members.

“Still, I wonder why we didn't get to see the questions in advance,” Minsu asks aloud in wonder, looking questioningly at Hwan. ‘Isn't that normal, not getting to see the questions beforehand?’ Jimin wonders now that Youngjin has mentioned it.

“Quite simply: so that it remains authentic. You have already seen a few questions and have given your okay beforehand. I want to see how you behave spontaneously; that goes down well. Keep in mind that it's not live, okay?”

Minsu hums, nodding as if he already knows it's not live. "That means we have a little leeway as far as bloopers go. That's a relief, provided it's edited properly."

“True, from what has been posted on social media…” Youngjin says approvingly. “...Makes sense though, not all of us can act. Thinking about it, it would have been a good decision not to send us all the questions beforehand, like usual. We can see this as an experiment.”

Everyone nods in agreement, and the boys set off to take their outfits from the clothes rack and disappear behind the set-up room divider.

Hwan leaves then the room.

Meanwhile, Jimin makes himself comfortable on one chair and tries to resist the temptation to let his gaze wander to the attractive men. Despite everything, the big mirror in front of him makes it difficult to follow this resistance.

Particularly when, in the left corner of the mirror, Jeongguk stretches his arms up above the room divider and forces himself into a t-shirt that hugs his body tightly. The bright light makes his golden-brown skin colour appear paler and more muscular. He can see Jeongguk's muscles moving and bulging; simultaneously, his skin looks soft and fine.

Jimin's heart skips a beat, and he can feel the flush rising to his cheeks. He looks away quickly, but he can't stop thinking about Jeongguk. Taking a deep breath, he absentmindedly plays with the makeup brushes on the table before him. Jimin hasn't felt like this in what feels like forever. Butterflies in his stomach and warm feelings that buzz in him make him feel like a teenager with a crush.

Another deep breath, and he places his left hand on his heart. Jimin looks at his appearance in the mirror to distract him. He has parted his peach-coloured hair in the middle, exposing his forehead. From how the roots look, the hair colour is slowly washing out, and he needs to re-dye it or dye it back to the original colour. Yet, brown looks on him so… boring. It looks good on the band members, but he wants that little extra when it comes to him. Besides, the peach colour suits his fluffy ears best, in his opinion.

Suddenly, he's jolted out of his thoughts by a discontented and annoyed groan, followed by a blurted curse word and his name in the dressing room within seconds. Confused, he flattens his lips into a line and turns his body around with a frown on the chair. Jimin's gaze wanders around until he notices Youngjin's help-seeking look. A finger points to his back.

“Jimin, can you help me with the microphone and cable for a minute?” he asks, frustration seeping through his voice. Why him? Why not one of the other members?

Glimpsing at the others and seeing as they are still busy, Jimin thinks it's best not to argue and jumps up from the chair without further ado to help him. He can't stop himself from blushing as he steps around the room divider, and Youngjin stands in front of him, his back exposed, Calvin Klein pants peeking out from his dark blue jeans. Jimin is left speechless. Youngjin has both arms stuck in the jumper he has pulled up. This wasn't the deal, nor was it planned. They have other staff members for that—or so, he thought.

“Uh—” he only manages to stammer out. Blinking, Jimin looks at his exposed skin and raises his hands awkwardly to the level of his stomach. In fact, he seems to feel as helpless as Youngjin, for he has no idea what to do or how to place the cable that stretches across his broad back.

“The cord of the microphone somehow got tangled with my clothes. Can you give me a hand?” Youngjin remains standing awkwardly with his arms raised to shoulder height and his grey jumper twisted around his arms and neck.

“Uh, sure,” Jimin hesitantly answers, taking the black, thin cable between his fingers to untangle it. A crease forms between his eyebrows. It's not easy to muster concentration when he's standing so close to Youngjin. His fingers could be touching his skin at any moment. Youngjin isn't Jeongguk, yet attractive men make Jimin nervous, which could be guessed from the jittery fumbling of his fingers.

He has almost made it and is about to open his mouth to ask Youngjin where and how to place the little microphone when Minsu's reproachful voice rings out and makes Jimin freeze. “You don't have to step so close to him to do that. Youngjin, you could have asked me,” Minsu utters and huffs in annoyance. Jimin isn't sure who the statement is directed at, but he's confused as to why he's suddenly talking like that. “I'm sure I could have fixed it.”

Outright, an uncomfortable tension erupts in the dressing room, and Jimin has no idea how to act. Youngjin, on the other hand, picks up on his words and forces a snort, tensing his stomach muscles and throwing Minsu an evocative grin. Jimin glances to the side and sees that Minsu's tense posture resembles an argument, which Jimin would rather not be a part of.

“I asked Jimin because he was the closest,” Youngjin defends himself, crossing his arms over his chest now that the microphone is no longer in the way.

“Oh, yeah, sure, how convenient since I'm standing so far away too.” Minsu rolls his eyes, and gradually, Jimin gets the feeling that the other is miffed. Only, why, remains a mystery to him.

“...And because he had nothing to do,” Youngjin adds hesitantly with a severe expression.

“Uh, yeah, that's right. I was just helping him out.” Jimin awkwardly laughs, meeting Jeongguk's gaze and swallowing hard when he detects something dark lurking behind it. “L-Let's not make this a big deal, yeah?”

“Why does it trigger you so much?” It's like Jimin doesn't even exist.

“Triggered?” Minsu raises an eyebrow and continues, “I'm not triggered. I'm just saying that you could have asked me too, or was it on purpose that you wanted to flex your muscles?”

“Minsu, half the staff members and probably lots of fans have seen me without a top on. It's not a big deal, so why are you making it one?”

He's right. From his perspective, Jimin doesn't understand why Minsu is acting so possessively and comments on something that isn't a big deal. Can it be that it's important to Minsu?

“I'm not,” Minsu lies. “I'm just saying you don't need to flaunt your body around all the time.”

“Flaunt? I'm just standing here.”

Minsu snorts. “Yes, with your arms raised in the air and your jumper twisted around your neck. You're practically begging Jimin to stare at you.”

Youngjin laughs. “You're being ridiculous. Just admit you want to have a look at it too, and I'll gladly grant it to you,” before Youngjin finishes his sentence, he lifts the jumper again and takes a step forward, granting Minsu a glance at his torso.

Jimin gapes, unable to believe whatever is going on is really happening. Youngjin is shameless, and he has a good body shape. Yet not as good-looking as Jeongguk. If Jeongguk were the one doing it, he’d probably panic innerly. “Oh, please- Why are you so shameless?”

Minsu speaks nonchalantly, attempting to hide the effect Youngjin has by keeping up a severe expression. He fails just seconds later. Minsu’s face flushes, and he avoids eye contact, busying himself by folding the clothes he wore earlier, mumbling, “Whatever.”

“Whatever lovers' quarrel just went on here, I don't want to know. Jimin doesn't know a lot about the equipment, how it works, or how to use it,” Jeongguk notes sternly, arms likewise crossed over his chest and eyebrows drawn into a line like a teacher. “Jimin, please come and help me with my jacket.”

It may be the serious tone in his voice or even the charisma that tempts Jimin to press the small microphone into Youngjin’s hand without hesitation and go to Jeongguk. The charged tension in the room is uncomfortable and unbearable. Jimin worries about whether the whole thing affects the interview or what just happened. He is sorry he couldn’t find the right words to improve the situation.

“What can I help you with?” Jimin quietly asks. He is glad not to have to stand between the two fronts any more, but being so close to Jeongguk makes him restless. The intense and unwavering gaze that suddenly fixes on him sets him on edge and makes his heart beat faster. If he thought it was less nerve-wracking with Jeongguk, he was mighty wrong.

He doesn't have time to realise what's happening when two strong hands are placed on his hips and pull him forward.

This causes Jimin to lose his balance, extend his hands forward and bounce them against something solid. Instinctively, Jimin has his eyes closed as he loses his balance and gasps, startled since his mouth doesn't kiss the ground as he thought it would. Redness instantly rises to Jimin's face instead after he opens his eyelids.

Jeongguk is standing directly in front of him, a few centimetres away, and Jimin allows the tingling feeling in his stomach to rise. His fingers dig into his T-shirt, barely noticeable. Warm breaths brush along his cheeks and Jimin cannot tear himself away and let go of Jeongguk's eyes. It is as if he loses himself in them, giving the illusion that they are alone in the room.

Jeongguk is the first to break out of the trance, blinking and pulling his hands back as quickly as if he had burnt himself cooking lunch. At the same time, Jeongguk clears his throat and lets his gaze dart around, giving Jimin a stab in the heart. The lack of warmth gives him goose bumps.

"Sorry," Jeongguk mutters, taking a step back. "I don't know what came over me. I just didn't want you to fall."

Automatically, Jimin's arms fall back beside his body. His fingers clench unsteadily into fists and loosen. Jeongguk is acting shy and strange and that is not his usual manner. There is hardly anything of his self-confident personality to be seen. He seems almost vulnerable.

Jimin's cheeks flush with guilt and he bites his lip guiltily. He wondered how Jeongguk's warm fingertips would feel if they wandered higher or if he touched him on his bare skin. Did that mean Jeongguk didn't like touching him there? Was it uncomfortable for him? Jimin craves such touches. Gentle and yet confident.

With his ex, some touches felt forced. Jimin kept telling himself that the next day it would be back to normal, that he would find the touches pleasant, but that day never came. Often Yunseo was busy slamming comments and suggestions for change at Jimin's head and he kept falling into the hole because of it. He wanted Yunseo to like him and often complied with his suggestions for change. Be it the food he ate, the clothes he wore or whatever occurred, how he spent his time. He thought this would keep Yunseo liking him.

Today he is smarter and has learnt from this that no one has to tell him how to spend his time or what clothes to wear to please others. Someone who really likes and appreciates him will respect him and his opinion, accept it and discuss things respectfully if there is anything. The person will not try to talk him into things and make him feel guilty all the time. That time is over. He feels free and can do things he was afraid to do a few months ago.

"Thank you, I appreciate it," Jimin brings out awkwardly, instead of a self-conscious saying running through his head, and smiles softly. If Jeongguk is indeed uncomfortable with the touch, then surely he would be uncomfortable with Jimin taking one step at a time. 

Or would he? Jimin looks at the dark jacket on the stool and slowly picks it up, waiting for Jungkook's next question, but it doesn't come, instead Jungkook watches Jimin's every move.

"You really should put that jacket on, although, I don't think you need one, you look pretty great without it. That's the one you wanted to wear, isn't it?" Jimin feels his gaze on him as he holds the jacket open, ready for Jeongguk to slip into it.

He wasn't lying. Jeongguk looks great in his black, loose-fitting, belted trousers, a light blue, thin knitted jumper and a silver chain around his neck. He finds a suit jacket almost unnecessary for this outfit. 

Jeongguk says nothing and just nods. He slips into the jacket and Jimin helps him by arranging the collar so that the fold is down. A sudden burst of confidence is realsed, as he is smoothing the collar, his fingertips skim over the back of Jungkooks neck. Within seconds, Jimin can see small goosebumps forming at the nape of his neck. He swallows hard and stares at the spot, his fingers lingering on Jeongguk's skin.

"How does it look, guys? Are you finally ready for makeup?" Hwan rushes impatiently into the dressing room, looking at them expectantly. "They're already waiting outside the door and didn't want to come in without permission."

The manager's deep voice snaps Jimin out of his reverie and he sheepishly withdraws his fingers from Jeongguk's skin. "As I said, in my opinion you don't need a jacket, you look great without one. I'll, um- wait outside then," Jimin rambles, eyes directed to the floor, not giving Jeongguk a chance to say anything back as he flees the room.

As soon as he steps out of the dressing room, he feels like the centre of attention, which may be because at least four make-up artists are staring at him as if they are guessing what has just happened between Jeongguk and him or because heat has risen to his face. Embarrassed, he looks to the side and moves to a bench by the window. From there he can look out over the city and lose himself in thought.

Jimin has no idea how much time passes as he stands there with his elbows propped on the window sill he leans against, watching the people and the traffic from the eighth floor. Where he stands and looks down through the large window, which is not covered like the others, the world seems carefree and peaceful. The opposite of how Jeongguk's life is and therefore his. It will only be a matter of time before the fans come across him.

"Jeongguk."

"-said, I'm not putting on the jacket," Jeongguk's voice resounds somewhat loudly through the interview room, attracting not only Jimin's attention. "Can I just not put this on? The outfit looks good like this too."

Jimin hears an annoyed groan escape Hwan, and a little later Jeongguk strides through the open dressing room door, closely followed by Hwan. "On my account. I guess it's no big deal if you don't put on the jacket."

Jimin gently pushes himself off the window sill and raises both eyebrows. Jeongguk strides into the room in the same outfit he was wearing in the dressing room. He has taken off the jacket, however. Didn't he want Jimin to help him get dressed earlier? Could it be? Has he suddenly changed his mind because of him?

Jimin takes his lower lip between his front teeth and nibbles on it. Did he actually take it off because Jimin thought he looked better without a jacket and didn't need it? Surprised, he throws Jeongguk a smile as their eyes meet.

However, it quickly disappears again and Jimin shakes his head. It may well be that he listened to Jimin's advice, but it may just as well be that Jeongguk just doesn't wear it because he gets hot playing the drums. He pouts innerly. Whatever the case, it was probably a good decision.

Shortly afterwards the interview starts, the band members have all been given a makeover and a good layer of make-up. The relationship between Minsu and Youngjin seems to have improved a little, even if not much. Minsu glares angrily at Youngjin but says nothing. Youngjin, in turn, rolls his eyes before smoothing out the microphone and the folds of his dark blue tank top once more.

With a sign from a staff member wearing a headset around her neck, they make their way to the brown sofa in front of the camera. The construction-block-like game is already set up on the table. As soon as they are seated, their facial features soften and the corners of their mouths tug upwards, seeming to have lost their tension. Or they are just very good actors.

From Jimin's point of view, the wardrobe spectacle looked like jealousy anyway. Why else would it annoy Minsu so much? 

Tensely, Jimin stands on the edge so as not to get in the way of any of the staff scurrying around him. Minsu jokingly moves a finger towards the book-coloured wooden block, which is pulled away by Youngjin moments later to avoid the risk of it toppling over. Jimin has to suppress a giggle at an evil look.

One last time, the stylists put the band members' hair down and the camera starts rolling. Everyone is super focused as Youngjin, sitting at the right end of the sofa, begins 'Tower of Truth'. 

They just start. For a round, they draw questions like 'Who would you like to work with one day?' or 'What do you love about being in a rock band?' Jimin watches spellbound from a distance as the questions become less basic. Minsu is the first to get a dare.

"Imitate a celebrity."

Thoughtfully, Minsu puts a finger to his chin and looks around. He beams, mouth forming into a sharp grin. 

Minsu purses his lips and leans forward to drum his fingers on the wooden table. He draws his eyebrows together as if concentrating.

"No, it can't be! Something's wrong." He licks his lips, slowly, very slowly, probably on purpose. "The song is missing something." 

Minsu clenches his jaw and then slaps the table with one hand before getting up from the sofa. Jimin winces from the swift movement and widens his eyes in surprise as his features relax out of the blue.

Grinning, he snaps his fingers, turns to the camera behind which two staff members are standing and winks into it confidently. "I'm sure you all know who I was imitating."

Jimin playfully rolls his eyes in response and can only imagine the fans screeching behind their screens as soon as the video is out. It doesn't take a genius for him to realise who Minsu just imitated. Jimin saw a similar video on the internet the other day, showing clips from behind the scenes, and Youngjin had a similar reaction. He wonders if this was a planned move as a result of the incident earlier. I wouldn't put it past Minsu.

"Which one of you loses first at laser tag?", Youngjin reads out loud and thinks for a moment. Minsu, meanwhile, sits down again. "Of the three of us, it will be Minsu. He always has a bad sense of direction."

Minsu laughs, not taking Youngjin's statement in his stride. He snorts contemptuously and gets into a defensive posture, arms crossed over his chest. "Just because I don't have a sense of direction when we're touring or going to locations doesn't mean I can't find you in that dark room and shoot you down. Unlike you, I'm nimble."

"If you say so," Youngjin mutters, shrugging his shoulders. "We both know who would win in the hundred-metre race."

"Whatever," Jeongguk claps his hands, breaking the argument by drawing attention to himself. "Probably both would lose first at the same time if we were playing with others and they were just bickering. You are clowns and they will remain clowns. I don't think I would ever want to play laser tag with them."

"Oh please, mister good-at-everything. You have no sense of style when it comes to clothes!", Youngjin grins and turns to Jeongguk. Jimin notices the interview taking another turn and watches it from a distance with a queasy feeling.

"Please? I have style! You can even-" Jeongguk pauses and clears his throat.

Youngjin snorts. "Sure you do, Mr. I-need-a-bigger-bed. For one person, I guess, by the way."

"Good one!" beams Minsu, holding a hand in the air, which Youngjin is only too happy to slam into, as if they hadn't been bickering just before.

"Let's move on, I'll pull the next block," Jeongguk deflects from the subject and moves towards the wooden tower. Carefully, he pulls out one of the many wooden blocks and reads the question aloud, "What was the last song you fell in love with? Can you sing a line?"

"A song called Falling Apart," he answers the question truthfully and closes his eyes as a humming sounds from his throat. "I thought I had it all, but now I'm falling apart. My heart is shattered and I'm left in the dark."

Almost simultaneously, Jimin closes his eyes to listen to the glorious sound of his voice. The delicate melody enters his ears and anchors itself in his head. Just as he begins to sway along slightly, the last word sounds out of his mouth and Jimin sulks in disappointment.

Hearing Jeongguk sing so passionately live gave him goosebumps and he longs to hear more of it. At home, he hums to himself or drums his fingers on the kitchen island as he is about to cook food. So far, he hasn't sung in full voice in Jimin's presence and if he hadn't seen Jeongguk singing in a video, I'm sure Jimin would have been wide-eyed by now.

He would love to ask Jeongguk to continue singing, but knows it would be inappropriate to ask now. For this reason, he makes a mental note to ask him later if he would sing something for him. Because Jeongguk has a pleasant singing voice that he won't easily forget.

"He's talented, isn't he?", Jimin flinches at Hwan's sudden voice and looks at him with wide eyes. Apparently he didn't catch how Jimin was startled, because his attention continues to rest on the set. "His voice, I mean."

Hwan, leaning against the wall in a composed posture, is obviously talking about Jeongguk. His smile is gentle and his hands are buried in his trouser pockets. He seems relaxed and easy-going, quite different, thereby not like the manager he met. 

"He's often too modest and says he's not good enough to record his own solo song. Jeongguk thinks he needs to gain more experience and knowledge, but in my eyes that's bullshit."

Jimin does his best not to show how surprised he is at how openly the manager talks to him. After all, he is an outsider. The other day he had asked him stupidly serious questions. At first he didn't quite understand why Hwan wanted to talk to him, since it's Jeongguk's private life and it's his business who he spends his time with.

Later, however, it dawned on him that Jeongguk is well-known in South Korea. Jeongguk is not someone who has bodyguards for nothing. There can always be incidents involving fans, media or other things. Hwan has the right to worry as a manager, to look out for his safety and also to warn Jimin about what might come his way. He can see how attached Hwan is to the boys and how much they mean to him. 

"He's really talented," Jimin finally mutters, not knowing what else to say. "I think if he were to record a song, it could go down really well."

Hwan hums. "I agree with you on that. He has a lot of potential as do the others, maybe he just needs someone to encourage him to record a song. Someone special who is close to him."

Jimin's heart leaps. He feels Hwan's sideways glance at him and feels he means him with his words. How he wants Hwan to be right, but he'd rather keep his feelings locked behind doors than get his hopes up unnecessarily and have their relationship ruined as a result. Jeongguk is all he has. 

He is the person who gave him strength again when he was at the end of his tether. Jeongguk may not be aware of how Jimin got over Yunseo and his relationship through him , yet his previous relationship has left traces that he keeps trying to hide, as well as the insecurity. If he were to take it to heart to tell Jeongguk what he feels, it would possibly break if Jeongguk doesn't feel the same and his intuition tells him not to.

"I don't think I will be, but I might try encouraging him," Jimin expresses himself gently, fixing his attention on his fingers. 

Hwan smiles and says in a confident voice, "I know you will."

Jimin can't help but blush. Can Hwan read him that well or what is the secret that he can see through him so well?

"I hope you didn't take offence at us scrutinising you. Things are stricter at other agencies. I am also aware that the friends in Jeongguk's life have nothing to do with me as a manager. What I want to say is, I wanted to get to know you better, he likes you. I could have done it under different circumstances, but it-"

"No, it's fine," Jimin shakes his head and gives him a grateful smile. "You're worried about him, and I know you asked Jeongguk first. I appreciate how much you care about the boys. I'm sure they know you only mean well."

Silence follows. Around them, it is also silent. Everyone watches the boys spellbound as if at a football match. The questions are answered in turn. Sometimes they are funny questions and when they are not, someone makes sure they have something to laugh about.

"Youngjin, they say that you are the one most likely to make Jeongguk smile. The fans say he's very closed off. Is that true?"

"Honestly, I don't think I have that title anymore," Youngjin chuckles, "we have a friend, someone dear to us, a cute little ball of fluff, I don't want to say much about it, but it's someone who could make not only Jeongguk smile more often, but us too."

At first Jimin doesn't realise he's meant, as he's not quite with it. But that changes at Youngjin's faintly suggestive look and Hwan's gaze on him. Embarrassed and happy at the same time, he squirms. Jimin's heart warms. He feels flattered and shy at Youngjin's openness. Probably everyone will now think he is talking about a pet. But is the truth so far from that?

The boys pull out more wooden blocks and read out the questions and dares on them and get to the end of the game sooner than expected. Youngjin is not careful enough when pulling out the wooden block and brings the tower tumbling down with it. Judging by how the tower looked before it toppled, they did a good job preventing it from doing so until then.

Somehow all three seem relieved and visibly more relaxed once the camera is off. Only then does Jimin realise how much pressure a camera can have on them. Also for them as a rock band that has been in the limelight for some time.

Relatively quickly, the TV crew moves things around the room and briefly goes through the footage, giving the boys a short breather to grab something to drink. No one needs to know that Jimin has been one step ahead of them, bringing them each a bottle of water from the table set up at the side. And if Jimin Jeongguk also brings biscuits that's his business too.

"Ohoo, Jimin, you make the make-up artists look jobless when you supply us like this~", Minsu teases him and takes a sip of water. He plops down on a folding chair and eyes him shrewdly. "And don't think I didn't see you sneaking biscuits and then slipping them to Jeongguk."

"You must have been looking wrong," Jimin says cheekily, shaking his head. "Maybe you need to put on some glasses."

"I know what I saw. I watched you put biscuits in Jeongguk's hand."

Jimin pouts and relents. "I was just giving him something to eat. He was hungry."

"He's always hungry." Minsu grins. "But I'm sure what I saw. You even gave him some more cookies."

"That's a lie. I did nothing of the sort. You really should have your eyesight checked."

Minsu laughs in amusement. "Just like you just admitted that you didn't give him one biscuit? Who's next? I'm always hungry too. Can you spare some biscuits for me too? I'm sure Youngjin wouldn't mind either."

"See that table back there? You can get some there."

Minsu opens his mouth and closes it again. Speechlessness flashes in his eyes. He studies Jimin and giving Jeongguk an incredulous look. "Did you hear that? Jeongguk say something."

Jeongguk is silent and purses his lips. Dominantly, he steps behind Jimin and pulls him towards him by his t-shirt, causing him to stumble backwards and Jimin to bounce against Jeongguk's broad torso. The palpable heat against his back seeps through his clothes and into his bones. Jimin exhales shakily and tries to ignore the way his blood suddenly pumps in his ears as he is embraced byJeongguk who places his hands on his hips. His heart stutters and his face grows warm.

At the same time, to Jimin's astonishment, Jeongguk just shrugs as if what he is doing has no effect. Jimin is sure his cheeks must be glowing as Jeongguk now begins to massage the skin under his t-shirt with his fingertips. The movements of his fingers are barely bigger than the ring Jeongguk wears on his pinky and yet they are effecting him more than Jimin would like. "He's right, isn't he?"

Jimin dares to glance behind and he's afraid he'll melt into a puddle on the spot when their eyes meet. "Do you have another biscuit?"

Minsu groans unhappily in the background. He murmurs something, but Jimin does not hear him. Instead, he finds himself ensnared, unable to tear his gaze away from Jeongguk's captivating eyes that meet his with unwavering intensity. A faint grin tugs at the corners of his mouth and Jeongguk's fingers press into his skin more thickly, massaging it. Jimin has to suppress an embarrassed whimper.

Jimin can't escape the fresh laundry and soap smell that wafts from Jeongguk's clothes and skin. He wants to close his eyes and inhale the scent. Soothing and gentle like the first snow in winter. 

Jimin takes a deep breath and tries to calm his pulse. Jeongguk's touch feels so good, but he is not sure if he should go for it. How Jimin would love to push himself up and press a kiss to his mouth and lose himself in his eyes for hours. Would he let him? Would Jeongguk return his kiss?

"Hm? You got another one?" Jeongguk's voice brings him out of his thoughts and leans closer expectantly. Thus Jeongguks breath graces his face and his knees begin to feel jelly. He cannot stop himself from letting his gaze wander south. Is that the moment where he can throw out all his precautions and smash their lips together?

"Min?" Jeongguk raises an eyebrow and chuckles with a flicking finger in front of Jimin's face. "Do you hear me?"

"Damn, Jeongguk, lower your alpha pheromones. There are other people around you. Please have the decency not to kiss here," Minsu shouts reproachfully and Jimin blushes like a tomato. Minsu has not only spoken his mind, he has also called Jeongguk an alpha. Jimin would like to deny that he doesn't entertain the idea since he's an omega but that would be a lie.

"You're one to talk. Besides, I only asked him for a biscuit. Why should I kiss him in front of everyone here?"

Ouch. Jimin hates the way his heart tightens. His gaze wanders from Jeongguk and stares into the distance. Right, why should he kiss him in front of everyone here? It wouldn't be the right time. But what bothers Jimin the most is the tone in which Jeongguk said it. As if it were completely out of the question and moronic.

"Here," Jimin grumbles and holds out the last biscuit to Jeongguk, which he has saved in his pocket for later. Looking sadly to the side, he doesn't want to see Jeongguk take a bite of the biscuit as if nothing had happened.

Jeongguk accepts the biscuit gratefully and bites into it. He seems so absorbed in thought that he doesn't even appear to have noticed Jimin's radical change of mood.

"Thank you," he says, smiling at Jimin. "That was delicious."

Jimin smiles back in a pained way and says, "No problem." He turns and walks briskly to the dressing room. He just wants to get away from here. Away from Jeongguk. Away from his feelings. At least until the performance starts.

He looks for a quiet spot in the dressing room and takes a deep breath. He would love to change back into his red panda form and hole up. Earlier he was in such a good mood and now the situation weighs on his shoulders. He is disappointed and hurt that Jeongguk has reacted so dismissively and the feelings are burning to come out from under his skin. Jimin had thought they were getting a little closer, but now he's not so sure Jeongguk wants that.

He stares ahead of him and tugs at the pink of his waistband, lost in thought, when suddenly there is a knock on the door frame. Abruptly, he wipes his cheeks and wheels around to the other person. Youngjin faces him with a meek smile in his expensive jumper and leans his head against the white doorframe.

"Hey," he says, folding his arms across his chest in an open stance."I wanted to come see if you wanted to watch the performance."

Jimin corrects his slumped posture and slides back and forth on the chair. He blinks away the tears so he doesn't have to see Youngjin in a blur and stands up.

Walking past him, Youngjin gently grabs him briefly by the arm and whispers, "If you need someone to talk to, I'm here, okay? Jeongguk may not have noticed, but I didn't miss your reaction," he sighs and continues, "I guess I can relate. Let my offer cross your mind, all right?"

Jimin swallows hard and fights with himself to throw Youngjin a gentle smile. Probably everyone has noticed, except Jeongguk. Embarrassed, he thanks him and only realises what Youngjin meant by his words when he wants to leave the room. Does he know about his feelings?

"Just so you know, Jeongguk wanted to go after you and see if everything was okay, but I stopped him. I thought you needed some time to yourself."

"Thank you." If Jeongguk had followed him and asked him, he would most likely have lied to him and he would be fine. So he used the time to come down a bit and let things sink in.

Jimin is excited when he sees the performance later. Ants crawl in his pants and he feels slightly shaky with excitement watching the band take their place with the musical instruments. The overhead lights in the room are off to show off the bright spotlights that are mounted on the side and above the band.

Jimin is sitting in the dark when Youngjin's voice sounds in the room. He closes his eyes and tries to concentrate on the song, but it is hard. Jeongguk's eyes are like a laser piercing him. Jimin can feel them on his skin, even though he can't see them. He knows Jeongguk is watching him and it makes him nervous.

Fortunately, Youngjin's agile and charismatic voice, backed by Minsu, helps him relax and lose himself in the song. They sing as soulfully as rain pelting the window on a quiet evening. Jimin is moved by how well they embody the emotions in the song.

Even the pronunciation of the English verses seems to be no obstacle. The gentle melody and Youngjin's tender voice make Jimin think of love. He imagines two people falling in love in the rain. A man who sees a woman crying. He feels sorry for her and wants to help her, but he doesn't know what to do. The man wants to tell her that she is beautiful and that he wants to take away her pain. He also wants to stay with her and tell her that the sun will soon shine again.

He opens his eyes and sees that Jeongguk is now focused on playing the drums. Jimin breathes a sigh of relief.

When the song ends, the film director gives a sign to stop filming and the staff clap enthusiastically. Jimin wipes the tear from his cheek that escaped unnoticed. Touched and amazed, he also gives a contribution to the applause. The boys bow and with the switching on of the room lights, the mood changes. They are no longer the centre of attention as no one is absorbed in the music.

Jimin stands awkwardly next to Hwan while he gives the boys a half-hug one by one and praises them. "Very well done!"

"Hey," he finally says as Jeongguk turns to him. "That was a great performance."

Jeongguk grins. "I'm glad you saw it."

They both stand there looking at each other. Jimin feels his heart beating faster. He wants to hug Jeongguk, but he's not sure if he should. Jimin thinks about what he can say next when Jeongguk preempts him.

"Jimin, listen-"

"Jeongguk," interrupts one of the make-up artists who was in charge of Minsu. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but your phone has been ringing incessantly for the last minute."

Jeongguk's expression darkens and he frowns. "Did you see who it is?"

"The display name said 'mom'," she shares honestly, looking back and forth between them apologetically. Jeongguk freezes and his face turns pale. His shoulders tense and Jimin can only guess what is going through his mind.

Barely a second later he disappears into the dressing room.

Jimin looks anxiously at the door behind which he has disappeared. He tilts his head from side to side and weighs his options. What can Jeongguk say except to ask him to go back out? Jeongguk looked worried and Jimin wants to be there for him.

Determined, he goes to the dressing room and opens the door, only to be confronted with a worrying sight.

Jeongguk's clenched fist and tense jawline betray his unease and distress. His gaze is fixed on nothing, his other hand tucked into his armpit. Jimin creeps uncertainly up on him and almost flinches at Jeongguk's deep voice. "So he's alright?"

He exhales in relief and continues. "I'm still going there. No arguments."

"Okay, see you later."

Jeongguk hangs up and Jimin is about to put a hand on Jeongguk's back, but stops himself at the last second. Instead he speaks in a gentle voice: "Jeongguk? What's wrong?"

Jeongguk whirls around to him, eyes wide, studying his features. His breathing is slightly shaky, as are his hands. Jeongguk's eyes are sombre and "Jimin... I need to see my parents. My father... He's in the hospital and was bitten by a snake."

"Fuck," Jeongguk exhales deeply and looks up at the ceiling. Jimin sees that he is close to tears. "Actually, Busan doesn't have life-threatening snakes, but what if it does? I have to go there. My mother could barely talk on her phone."

He runs his hand through his hair and Jimin swallows hard. Fear crosses his face and Jimin wants to take it away, but feels helpless. Can he hold his trembling hand and tell him everything will be alright? Can he take him in his arms and say he is there for him?

Jimin doesn't think as courage suddenly shoots through him. He takes a step towards Jeongguk and the next moment he finds himself nestled close to Jeongguk's body. Even if the reason is less than pleasing, it feels right in Jeongguk's arms. Safe and secure and he wants to convey and return those feelings to the other.

"I want to go with you."

Jeongguk lifts his head from Jimin's neck and looks at him in confusion. A soft smile pulls at Jimin's lips and he brushes aside a strand of Jeongguk's hair. His heart pounds wildly against his ribs. "I don't want you to go through this alone. I want to be there for you."

Jeongguk stares at him for a moment, then smiles too. "Okay," he says. "Thank you, Jimin."

Jeongguk pulls him back into a tight hug, and that makes Jimin close his eyes and enjoy the moment. He's glad he can be there for Jeongguk. "Not for this. I care about you and if my presence helps you, I'll be happy to go with you. We'll get through this together, hm? Let's go there and then we'll see what comes next."