TW: mention of a toxic past relationship

The lukewarm, soft sand beneath his feet hugged and comforted by the feeling of peace. The sun setting behind the horizon and blending with the clouds to create a magnificent play of colours, together with the cool evening breeze on the beach and the gentle, rhythmic sea motion, feels like a delightful and carefree experience where you can let your mind wander.

So far, Jimin hasn’t experienced this kind of sunset first-hand. That’s why he takes more time to study everything closely and inwardly wishes the evening would pass more slowly because, from one minute to the next, the bright hues in the sky change and the evening slowly fades into night.

Every now and then, small seagulls are soaring through the air, their sounds mingling with the crashing sea waves, creating the sound of pure relaxation and healing. Jimin had previously only seen this in films and he finds himself enchanted by the view.

The golden yellow sunbeams blend into a soft pinkish orange that fades into purple and blue now. They say you should live in the moment, yet Jimin can't suppress the urge to want to capture this moment.

Too bad, he just doesn't have a phone anymore. When he left his ex-boyfriend, Jimin left everything behind and didn't even think to take any personal belongings with him and repurchasing one would require him to get a new job. He is indecisive about where to apply. Maybe he could work in a flower shop again? Jeongguk would certainly not let him live with him forever. Sooner or later, he will have no choice but to look for a flat on his own, no matter how much it will hurt him or how much he will miss Jeongguk.

Jimin wraps his arms around his stomach and presses his jacket closer to his body, protecting him from a passing gust of wind and the drop in temperature. His skin still gets goosebumps, and he suppresses a body shake. Out of the corner of his eye, he notices Jeongguk walking a few steps behind him, lost in thoughts and the sunset reflecting in his eyes. Like from a distance and with his tattoos covered, Jeongguk appears, unlike someone whose income is being in a rock band.

With his gentle and youthful facial features, one would imagine Jeongguk has a modelling career or is a student. Jimin is certain; no one would guess that he's in a well-known rock band, looking like a rock star with a severe expression on stage and thousands of fans. He recalls seeing several fans making videos about their concert visits, dressed in dark—primarily black clothes and gushing about how handsome they are. He wonders if they've ever had fan meetings and how they went. Was Jeongguk just as closed off to them as to him initially, or did he give them the same bunny smile he's receiving?

Jimin craves to take a picture and keep this as a memory. Just Jeongguk peacefully lost in thought on the beach with his hair fluttering in the wind and looking like himself in the sunset right now. Jimin is, however, too shy to ask for Jeongguk's phone, and then it wouldn't be the same anymore. This specific moment and pose would be broken, so he keeps his mouth closed.

The silence continues to linger between them as they walk along the water, the sun setting in the background. Meanwhile, the sky has already become noticeably darker beyond the reach of the sun's rays. It won't be long, and soon it will have finally disappeared behind the horizon line, surrounding them both with darkness.

Jimin does not know how long they have been walking along the beach. Since they are alone there, it feels like half an eternity has passed, and his feet will soon need a rest.

Not only that, apparently, they've soon reached the end of the beach, which is cut off by lots of big rocks. As much as he would like to sit there, he thinks Jeongguk's idea of lying under the stars on the beach is much better. It allows them to have privacy and to talk to each other.

“What is your zodiac sign?” Jimin asks curiously, turning once with his feet in the sand so he faces Jeongguk as he approaches him, lost in thought. Moving his arms loosely back and forth, Jimin lets his gaze wander over the dark water before it lands on Jeongguk, and their eyes meet.

“Virgo. You already know my Chinese zodiac sign. My birthday is the first of September, yours?” Jungkook now comes to a halt, merely a metre away from him.

“Oh,” Jimin blinks at the new information and smiles. He hadn't thought their birthdays would be so close together. “Libra. My birthday is on the 13th of October. Do you think we can see zodiac signs in the sky today? I'd love to see one.”

Jimin watches Jeongguk put his hands in his jacket pocket and stand sideways to Jimin to look at the water. Calmly, he inhales with his eyes closed and turns his head back to Jimin. “I honestly think it's going to be difficult; we're here at the wrong time of year for that. We'll be lucky if we can see the stars clearly enough.”

“Oh, man,” Jimin lets out disappointedly, which elicits a grin from Jeongguk.

“I read somewhere that late summer is best for this, both to see the stars clearly and to see zodiac signs in the sky, but who knows? Maybe today, we will have the opportunity to see them. The clouds are also slowly disappearing. Otherwise, we'd have to come back here again.”

Come back here again? Is that what Jimin thinks it means?

He wouldn't mind going back here and spending time with Jeongguk. Nothing would make him happier. The days here have been exciting and beautiful. He has seen and learned so many new things. Jimin also can't stop thinking about Jeongguk's surf lesson. Despite his non-swimmer fear and Jeongguk's strict teaching, it was fun. Yeah, maybe, except for the constant falling into the water from the surfboard kind of situations, but Jimin would love to say, 'Yeah, let's do it all over again right away.'

Ultimately, he decides to give Jeongguk a simple answer to sound as neutral as possible, which he doesn't really succeed in and blushes as it comes out more eagerly than it should. “Gladly.”

Jimin realises an awkward silence creeping between them again, causing Jimin to feel flustered. Desperately, he looks for a topic to break the silence but nothing.

Before long, Jeongguk's steady voice cuts his train of thought, and he asks, “Shall we sit there?”

Pulling out the backpack he has carried on his back, Jeongguk retrieves a blanket he brought with him here and looks at Jimin with a tilted head. Jimin just nods and helps him spread the blanket on the sand where one of the many lamps has gone out, giving them more darkness. They both sit down on it and make themselves comfortable.

Over time, the sun disappears behind the horizon and dips the sky in black-blue. Neither of them says a word in the following minutes, enjoying the silence. While Jeongguk sits elegantly cross-legged, arms propped back on the blanket, peering upwards, Jimin sits with his legs bent and his arms around them. The sky becomes clearer, and individual stars begin to shine beautifully in the night sky.

Gently, he swings his body from side to side, humming one of Black Wonder's songs in his head, a song that has become one of his favourites. Granted, rock has never really been his taste in music, especially not heavy metal or punk rock, but Black Wonder is a band with a song spectrum of indie rock and pop rock. The songs are pleasant for him to listen to and make him want to hear more.

Jimin licks his lip and glances to the side, spotting a small stick just a few steps from his blanket, and grabs it without thinking twice. Sitting back down, he grips the stick between his fingers and begins to draw little patterns and, eventually, words in the sand. He does not know how neatly he writes them; it's too dark for him to see, despite the moonlight shining brightly in the sky.

Jimin sinks into daydreaming and blocks out his surroundings; memories of the first weeks with Jeongguk come up, and a smile creeps onto his lips. An unfamiliar feeling spreads through him as he returns to the day Jeongguk showed him that he had a parkour made up in his living room and only for him. Others would probably think he was crazy, but Jimin couldn't have been surprised in a good way that day!

It’s not every day that you come across a person who is so considerate and caring that they will even set up a climbing parkour in their home for a small animal that they have met not too long before. It's also the day that Jimin felt his heart beat a little faster. Even though the whole first-time shifting thing went unplanned and more awry than expected, Jimin had vowed that day to show Jeongguk the truth about him soon. Jimin struggled with guilt that was nagging at him. He's glad everything worked out well in the end.

Jimin stares at the little heart he has drawn in the sand and, grinning as if enchanted, draws another one next to it. Will he ever be able to show such gratitude to Jeongguk? He has fostered him and given him a home, and he wants to return the favour, but how? Last time it went completely wrong.

When he's just putting the stick to draw a star in the sand, the sound of Jeongguk's voice, loud and clear in the silence, startles Jimin, and he silently gasps. “Don't you miss your friends and family? You have been what... living with me for over a month?”

A question that came unexpectedly and stuns Jimin. Does he miss his family? Of course, he misses them. He hasn't seen them in a while and thought he would continue not to. But now that's not an issue anymore, and he realises how he hasn't really thought about this question and realised that it would be possible to see them again. Would they even welcome him with open arms?

Jimin is ashamed of how he broke off contact with them through his ex-boyfriend. Everything came to this because of him, and he was so blind and didn't realise what a bad influence he had on him. Only when it was too late did he learn and regret many things.

“I do- I miss them a lot, actually,” Jimin utters in a raspy voice, trying to swallow a wave of emotions. He longs to see his parents and his brother again. Oh god, his brother. Jimin holds back a whine that forms in the back of his throat. His brother is three years younger, but their bond is unlike other siblings, close. Or, well, they were close. Thinking they might not be like they used to be anymore makes his heart squeeze. Neither did he see it coming, nor did he want any of this.

“But?” Jungkook says, eyebrows furrowing in thought. “You have mentioned before that you were from a town. If you don't mind me asking, how did you get here?”

Jimin darts his gaze down to his knees. “I guess it's time to tell you how I ended up in the city. It's only fair to tell you—”

“No,” Jungkook interrupts and shakes his head, expression softening and voice laced with panic. He must have noticed the sudden shift in the atmosphere. “Not if it makes you uncomfortable or if you aren't ready. You don't owe me an explanation.”

“You're right,” Jimin whispers, giving Jungkook a warm smile. He's still not entirely used to his soft side. “It's normal for you to be curious, and I trust you enough to tell you about my past.”

He takes a deep breath and searches for the right words to explain what he has been through. Even if he has to bite the bullet, it's something he wants to do. For the first time since he left his ex-boyfriend, he feels like himself again and accepted for who he is.

Only after Jimin ran away did he realise how dependent he was on him. He was constantly trying to make his ex, Yunseo, happy, and in doing so, Jimin cut himself off from others and didn't see the signs himself that would have opened his eyes.

“Before I came here, I was in a relationship where I wasn't myself anymore. My ex-boyfriend was toxic and had such an impact that I slowly cut myself off from the outside world. He constantly made me feel bad when I made a mistake and constantly took his side. I was so strongly convinced that he was a good person and meant me no harm.” He chuckles sadly and swallows hard when a memory flashes through his mind.

“I thought I was happy with him, and then one day, he left on a business trip, and I was alone. It was only for three days…” Jimin’s voice becomes softer, almost unsteady, like someone walking on wobbling legs. He bends his knees further, making them merely touch his shoulders. “...but in those three days, my mind began to clear. I noticed things I never did when he was there. After that, I realised I am much better off without him.”

Sure, Jimin felt lonely at first in the flat they lived in. Part of him had missed Yunseo the first few days he wasn't there. This was quickly drowned out by other feelings when he accidentally threw something down, and no one was there, making him feel bad. Also, when he had a conversation with an elderly neighbour a few days later, and the neighbour first looked worriedly over his shoulder and then asked him where his boyfriend was, he realised what his neighbour meant when talking to him.

Jimin was rarely alone when he went out, often, Yunseo would stand behind him if he was talking to others. He was dependent on his ex in a way that he himself had not realised. Puzzle pieces were coming together, and one thing led to another. Jimin began to realise that this was not what he wanted out of life. He soon realised he wanted and longed for nothing less than that freedom.

The very day Yunseo returned, he wrote a letter to him saying 'not to look for him. He would not come back.' He also did not leave out his feelings that came up. All this manipulation and bad treatment… Jimin doesn't want to know if it was because he was a hybrid or if it was simply his toxic character that led him to these actions.

Jimin anxiously bites his inner cheek while Jeongguk remains silent. He hasn't demanded Jeongguk to say anything, but the lack of reaction and the growing tension between them frightens him, prompting tears to well up in his eyes. His fingernails press into the flesh of his legs, his heart sinking. Was it a mistake to tell Jeongguk?

Jimin involuntarily pinches the fabric with the hand he had placed on the blanket while talking, his knuckles going white. His mouth becomes dry, and just as he's about to take his hand off, something brushes along his pinky before his entire hand is suddenly engulfed by warmth. Jimin gasps and realises with a fast-beating heart, that Jeongguk's hand has reached out to him and squeezes his own, which, strangely enough, makes him relax.

Jimin is afraid if he moves it, Jeongguk will pull back, something he doesn't want. He appreciates the comforting gesture, longing for it to remain longer. The sheepish smile on his face, however, vanishes as he peers at Jeongguk, face becoming solemn. Jeongguk stares out towards the sea, his jaw clenched. He appears to be angry, teeth clamping together, and it looks like he's barely suppressing his anger.

“I'm sorry you had to go through that. No one deserves to be treated like that,” Jeongguk replies in a deep, forced voice. Jimin's eyes widen at his enraged tone. Without saying anything, Jimin squeezes Jeongguk's hand worriedly and swallows nervously. Is he that upset about what he just said?

“It's fine, and it's in the pa—”

“Jimin, it's not fine!” Jeongguk almost yells, abruptly whirling around, causing Jimin to yelp. “Don't play your feelings down like this, alright? Your ex was an asshole, obviously. You're precious; how could anyone treat you like this? I'd love to teach him a lesson, but this is impossible as of now. Neither did he deserve you, nor did he know what he'd lose. I'm just glad that you're better now and that you're safe. I don't want to imagine what would have happened if you hadn't run away.”

Jimin blinks at Jeongguk's outrage, heart soaring in his chest about what he said. His words lead him to feel more than one emotion. Feeling comforted and cared for is such an incredible feeling, and Jeongguk isn't even aware of it. It just feels so good that it makes Jimin emotional and open to his words, falling deeper into the rabbit hole of love. Neither is Jeongguk aware of how much the words affect and mean to him.

Jimin can feel his throat closing up just seconds later. Shooting him a sincere smile, Jimin tries to focus on something else, but it's too late. He blinks rapidly, cursing innerly when he can't hold back the tears that threaten to fall—

Fuck.

The first tear falls, and he's overwhelmed with disbelief and happiness. His hands tremble when he moves to wipe the tear from his cheek, only to have more fall, and for him to stare in shame at Jeongguk's jacket. He focuses on keeping his breathing steady and slow, but his sobbing makes concentrating nearly impossible. He's drowning in a pool of snot, tears and hiccups, and he's lost track of why he's crying in the first place.

Jimin's nose keeps running, and he pauses to wipe it on his sleeve, his face scrunched when another hiccup occurs. He fails to calm down. One moment, he's thinking about how sweet Jeongguk is and that he doesn't deserve someone like him, and the next moment, he's crying.

Jimin only catches a glimpse of how a hand wraps around his back, immediately pressed against Jeongguk's broad upper body. Like earlier at the surf rental, Jeongguk buries his nose in his hair and murmurs soothing words to him. It feels right, but most of all, it feels immensely like home.

“Let it out. Everything's going to be fine. It's normal to cry sometimes. I won't judge you for that. You aren't alone.” Jeongguk lightly strokes Jimin's forearm and back, offering the comfort Jimin needs to calm down. He couldn't be more thankful for having him in his life, but he's firmly convinced that he doesn't deserve Jeongguk. He's just too good for him, but is it alright for him to be a little selfish right now?

”T-thank you,” Jimin stutters, his voice choked with tears and chest hitching. His fingers curl into Jeongguk's jacket, grasping onto anything to hold himself steady and regain posture. Slowly, his breaths become regular. “Sorry for dragging down the mood.”

“You didn't. Tell me if I'm wrong, but I feel like this is something you needed. To let your emotions free, you know? Don't worry about it. Just be yourself when you're with me.”

Jimin really doesn't deserve him.

Thank you, Jimin thinks and pulls back from the embrace, breathing clearly slower now. He wipes away his tears and gives Jeongguk a smile that expresses gratitude, hands landing back in his lap after he stretches out his legs, feet on the sand. Jimin doesn't care how puffy his face or how red his eyes are. He just feels happy and that overshadows all other feelings away.

Sighing, he slides forth on the blanket, moving his back back until it eventually makes contact with the blanket and he can look up at the wonderful bright stars. Jimin's lips form into an o, whereupon a soft awe leaves them, amazed by how clear some stars shine. Together with the moon they hold something magical.

“Jeonggukie, look at the stars, so romantic to be here. I mean-” Jimin blushes when their eyes meet. It didn't take Jeongguk long to lie down on the blanket as well, one arm clutched under his head as a pillow, facing him. Jeongguk grins a little stupidly and looks up at the sky that's filled with bright dots.

“You're right, it's really romantic. If I had a date in the future or someone I'm dating, I would certainly bring them here.” Jimin refrains from looking at Jeongguk, certain he wouldn't be able to take his eyes off him and Jeongguk might catch him red handed. Jimin admires how romantic Jeongguk seems to be deep inside, something he didn't know about him. His future partner will be lucky.

“Look, a shooting star!” Jeongguk eagerly says and points to the sky. Jimin barely catches it, looking after it with great astonishment. “Close your eyes and wish for something.”

Jimin immediately closes his eyes and utters a wish from deep within his heart in his mind. A glimmer of hope fills him as he then turns his head and looks at Jeongguk. Will his wish ever come true? Will he ever have this luck to find someone like him and be loved for who he is and passionately?

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A/N: I hope you like this chapter 🙈 I do kind of think it feels like an uncompleted chapter but I don't know.