10⋆Desire
When Yeosang finally shows outside Seonghwa's door, Seonghwa suddenly feels nervous and unsure of what to say. Somehow he fears that a single wrong word will scare the younger away. Yeosang quietly walks around the room while looking at Seonghwa now and then, waiting for him to speak up.
"So... What did you mean when you said that?"
"I'm just afraid you won't be able to handle it," Yeosang says with a quick shrug, casually flipping through the pages of one of Seonghwa's books - like their conversation is completely normal.
"You don't think I can handle sex?"
"Sex? Probably. Sex with a guy? Most likely not. Sex with me? Not at all."
Seonghwa sits down on his bed, glaring at the younger while finding the right words to say. Yeosang sure doesn't seem to think too highly of him when it comes to the bedroom stuff, and it infuriates Seonghwa who restlessly taps his fingers against his thighs.
He might not have slept with a bunch of people, only one to be exact, but they were in fact in a relationship together for almost three years so some stuff had been happening under the sheets. Were they the craziest, kinkiest things in the world? Probably not. But the way Yeosang almost insinuates that Seonghwa is a prude doesn't sit well with him.
"H-how would you know that? You don't know me at all."
"You're right, I don't. It's just the vibe you give out."
"What vibe?"
Come to think about it, Seonghwa realizes that he's never asked another person that many questions about himself, as he has with Yeosang. The younger sure has opened a whole new side of him, one he has never known and just now is getting to know. But Seonghwa feels very intrigued by this side of himself, eager to learn more.
"Well... You just kind of seem more like a missionary-style-with-cuddles-afterwards kind of type."
"I don't see how that is a problem?"
"It's not. If that's what you like. But that's not what you are going to get with me. Have you ever even tried anal?"
Although Seonghwa should be used to the way Yeosang says such things so easily, he still feels flustered every time. Yeosang tilts his head to the left while looking at Seonghwa, waiting for an answer. But Seonghwa feels too lost in the brown eyes that are staring at him, and stunned by the words that left those perfect, rosy lips, to be able to say anything at all.
"Didn't think so," Yeosang smirks, as Seonghwa doesn't reply. "Seonghwa, listen... I don't usually go after straight guys, nor do I usually spend this much time on the same person before moving on. But I do think you are sexy as hell. I'm just starting to think that maybe it's for the best if we just stop whatever this was."
"I-I can't believe that we are practically sitting here, negotiating about sex," Seonghwa scoffs, turning his face away from Yeosang's piercing stare, trying to keep calm. "This is stupid. Honestly, I don't even want to do it with you that much, so please stop trying to make me look desperate."
"Really? The way you moaned my name when I sucked your dick said something else."
"Yeosang! You need to stop talking. You need to stop assuming things about me. And make up your mind for God's sake. You keep contradicting your own words to make me look bad, and I hate that!" Seonghwa suddenly snaps, cheeks heating up and heart pounding in his chest.
Yeosang looks surprised at him for a brief moment, before he half-way rolls his eyes while walking towards the bed where Seonghwa is sitting.
"Fine," he then says, "I'll stop assuming things. Right after this. Let us imagine this one thing; we fuck. Then what will happen afterwards? How will you go back to your normal life after that? You already got too much in your own head about us just making out, I won't even try to imagine how much you'll freak out if we actually have sex."
Seonghwa just stares at him in loss for words. The conflict inside of him has never felt any worse than it does right now. His body is longing to feel Yeosang's, but his brain is screaming at him, telling him it's wrong.
"Well... Whenever you're done with figuring that one out, you can ask yourself this," Yeosang smirks and leans in closer, "do you really think you can handle it when I beg you to do it harder, faster, when I want you to hit me, choke me while you fuck me mindlessly rough?"
The tickle from Yeosang's breath against the skin of Seonghwa's neck is soft and gentle compared to the words he is whispering in Seonghwa's ear. Words so vulgar and wrong that Seonghwa feels dirty just be hearing them.
Having to swallow a lump in his throat, Seonghwa wants nothing more than to be able to break free from Yeosang's stare. But he can't. He feels hypnotizes by the deep, hazel brown eyes and the words that dance through his ears, making his body tremble.
When Yeosang pulls away the air around Seonghwa feels cold, just like his body. Cold, frozen, completely unable to move or react at all. A moment of silence passes by before Seonghwa is finally able to speak again.
"I-I... Don't know..." a low whisper is the only thing Seonghwa can press out between his lips.
"Well then, why don't you go back to your lovely, straight life and I'll go back to enjoying mine? It was nice meeting you."
Yeosang rises from the bed and walks out the room, leaving Seonghwa sitting all confused and shocked on his bed.
~
Days have passed by, and Seonghwa has done everything in the world to get out of his own head. Even let himself get talked into joining his friends at the annual summer party held by the university, Saturday night. He figured this might help him get his mind off the conversation he had had with Yeosang days before.
The things Yeosang had said has shaken Seonghwa more than he'd like them to, almost making him question his entire existence. He had done everything he could to avoid the younger since that night, changing directions and everything when he saw him coming towards him. Seonghwa felt stupid, but he just couldn't handle having to face Yeosang right now.
The words he had said are constantly storming through Seonghwa's mind, leaving him no rest. Maybe he was right though, maybe Seonghwa couldn't handle it - he is clearly overthinking everything way too much already. Maybe he had been so messed up, because of his break-up that he couldn't see clearly. The desire to feel another male's body under his own had never occurred before he had met Yeosang, not even in the slightest. So why is all of this happening now?
"Park! Where were you? We've been waiting for you!" Mingi shouts excitedly when Seonghwa finally joins them at the party. To be honest he doesn't have a proper excuse, as he's just been sitting in his bed staring at the wall.
"Doesn't matter! You're here now," Yunho laughs. "Let's get you drunk!"
Just when Seonghwa is starting to relax, laughing like a moron at his friends' horrible jokes, his eyes catch the sight of none other than Yeosang who is sitting with his friends a couple of tables away. Seonghwa curses at himself and how his eyes always manage to find their way to the younger. Even more curses he at how amazingly hot Yeosang is looking tonight. It's like he gets more and more gorgeous each time Seonghwa looks at him.
~
Seonghwa has soon had a couple of drinks, enough to make him feel more courageous at least. But not enough for him to not think clearly. Or so he tells himself. Looking at Yeosang, Seonghwa feels a strange feeling of provocation rush through him. Yeosang had seemed so sure about what kind of person Seonghwa is, and it isn't something Seonghwa will let go of unnoticed. The younger needs to know his place and stop with all those stupid assumptions he has.
And as soon as Seonghwa's friends are occupied with something else, he tugs the ends of his sleeves in determination, and walks towards the table Yeosang is sitting at.
"Yeosang. I need to have a word with you. Now."
The tone in Seonghwa's voice seems to scare both Wooyoung and San who both stare at him with big eyes.
Yeosang on the other hand doesn't seem intimidated or impressed at all as he slowly rises from his seat with a long sigh. A guy with a brown bowl-cut instantly rises as well. Seonghwa recognizes him as the forth guy from the restaurant a while back.
"Is this guy bothering you?" the bowl-cut guy asks, glaring at Seonghwa almost looking like he's about to fight him.
"It's fine, Jongho," Yeosang says, looking over his shoulder at his friend. When he turns to look at Seonghwa he raises a brow while flipping his long hair back. "Make it quick though."
~
The sound of their steps is the only thing that is heard throughout the empty hall-way, as Seonghwa is dragging a clearly unsatisfied Yeosang with him. When they reach Yeosang's room, Seonghwa looks at him with a stone-cold face, ordering him to unlock the door which Yeosang does with a long sigh.
As soon as they have stepped inside, Seonghwa slams the door and pushes Yeosang against it, back turned towards Seonghwa.
"Don't you ever dare to underestimate me again, Kang Yeosang," Seonghwa breathes against Yeosang's neck, pressing the younger harder against the door. Yeosang lets out a small gasp in surprise but doesn't move away, and by the way his breathing changes it's clear that he likes it.
Seonghwa wraps his fingers around Yeosang's neck, just underneath his chin, pushing his head backwards. With his other hand he slowly untucks the shirt that so neatly had been tucked into Yeosang's skinny jeans. The skin underneath is warm and soft, and Seonghwa lets his fingers feel all of the wonderland of Yeosang's body.
"You think you've got me all figured out, don't you?" Seonghwa practically growls into Yeosang's ear. "But let's see how much you know when I've fucked you completely senseless."
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