16
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"I'm gay," I confessed.

Ciro's face grew neutral; eyes unmoving from mine.

"We been knowing this, Jude," Fegan snickered with a shrug.

I swallowed hard. I needed to know what he thought, what Ciro thought. I wanted to fold myself into a nearby box and get shipped to... Trinidad and Tobago, or leap to my feet and sprint however far my legs could take me, or simply disintegrate into nothingness before them. Anything that could take me from that setting and drain my body from the immeasurable embarrassment would have been suitable.

But Ciro got up. He got up and approached me, kneeling before me to say, "I am so proud of you, my prince. I know this wasn't an easy... realization for you to come to, so I respect and admire you for that. For doing it alone, too."

The tears surfaced in my eyes again. I wanted to scratch them out. I was so sick of crying. All I did was let go of a shaky breath—a shaky breath that I sucked right back in as he pulled me into a hug.

I was still sitting, so I struggled as he leaned all his body weight onto me, but it felt so comforting that I couldn't bring myself to get him off.

On his own accord, he lifted himself and held my face.

"You're all grown now."

"I want to do it, Ciro."

He tilted his head ever so slightly. "What?"

I couldn't take it back now, so I recommenced the word vomit. "I want to see how deep in I'm in." I licked my lips in a quick motion. "I want to go all the way to see. I need to know for sure so I can fully accept it."

He slowly took his hand from my face, taking with it the warmth. He sat on his feet and placed his hands on his knees.

"I'm not sure I get what you mean, Jude."

Fegan sighed, "He wants to fuck, Ciro. Obviously."

I snapped my head toward the guy with wide eyes, and Ciro chuckled.

"I—" He shook his head. "I'm sorry, Jude. I can't help you with that. Though, I would love to be the—"

"Then, I'll do it," Fegan chimed in.

"What?" Ciro and I asked in sync.

Fegan stood up and fished in his pocket. "If Ciro wants to be a pussy—as per usual—he can, Jude. That has nothing to do with you and what you want." He pulled out a bundled piece of foil from his pocket and sat closer to me. "If you really want to test the waters. If you really want good dick with someone who knows what a man needs, then you're looking right at him."

He folded his legs into the iconic meditative position and continued as he slowly unfolded the foil, "You have three choices tonight, Jude. One: you can choose not to do anything with me and we can talk about how much of a pussy Ciro is—I have a ton of stories. Two: we can have sex, sober. Or three: we can have sex, high," with that he revealed some pills in the foil.

"What..." I squinted at him. "What is it?"

He smacked his lips in thought. "I believe it's ecstasy. It'll heighten the experience to such immense—"

"You believe?"

"Hm?"

"You said that you believe it's ecstasy."

"Oh, yeah. I'm not one hundred per cent sure."

"What?"

"Okay, we have a seventy-five per cent chance this is ecstasy."

"I wasn't even going to take it to begin with, but—"

Fegan took one up and swallowed it. I stared at him with wide eyes—eyes that widened further upon seeing Ciro bite one in half and swallow it. He silently offered the other half to me, but when I shook my head, Fegan took it.

I watched Fegan place it on his tongue and lean into my face. "I'm making this easier, but I'm not going all the way if you don't say you want me to."

"I—" I looked at Ciro, who nodded, then back at Fegan.

I closed my eyes to prepare for it, but Fegan said, "No, you have to say you want this."

I opened my eyes. "I feel really pressured right now."

Fegan immediately retreated, "Then, never mind. I'll never—" He didn't get to finish that thought, however, as I grabbed him by the shirt and crashed my lips against his.

This kiss wasn't like the ones I was used to. It was far from gentle and slow. He found a hot rhythm, and I got lost in it. He held my waist and led me to lay on the carpet, his body between my legs. And then I tasted it, the bitter and unpleasant taste of whatever pill he pushed in my mouth with his tongue.

I groaned, and he broke our sloppy kiss to say, "It's worth it, I promise."

I nodded, eager for him to continue, and he did. I held his face, and he had his hands all over me. His hands were cold, making me flinch, but I loved it. He touched me in all my sensitive areas, exploring my body in ways I couldn't have ever fathomed.

He broke our kiss again to suck on my neck, causing me to bite my bottom lip to keep myself from voicing the pleasure. He moved up to my ear, his hot and tantalizing breath stimulating me more than it should have, as he whispered, "This is all okay, babe. When that shit kicks in, you won't care about anything else but enjoying yourself, alright?"

I nodded.

"You ready?"

I nodded.

"Words, Jude. Words."

"Yeah, I'm ready."

He kissed me before moving toward my pants, fingers trailing along my chest in the process. I turned to Ciro. I couldn't tell if he was watching or if he was zoned out, but he was there. I then looked at that scruffy, bleached hair from the angle it looked best at, and let go of a deep breath. I literally felt my dick getting harder.

He pulled down my pants and kissed the inner part of my thighs. It was getting harder to bite back the pleasure as he held me and touched me and sucked me.

Those gentle brown eyes made contact with mine as he whipped out my erect cock. He held my left leg with one hand and grabbed my dick with the other, before trailing his tongue from the bottom to the top of it.

Looking down, I could already see and feel that this was going to be the best blowjob I ever had.