24

—

I sat on the counter as Dante and his roommates prepared breakfast. I sat comfortably knowing that I was on dishwashing duty. It wasn't easy getting that role. They thought it was unfair for me to wash the dishes at all times, but I convinced them that this was my small way of giving thanks. They had allowed me to stay with them, without paying, for about two weeks. Washing some dishes was the least I could do.

"Close yuh eyes," Dante requested, and I did. I felt him hold my chin. "Open yuh mouth." I did as I was told and tasted yoghurt from the spoon he fed me. "Yuh like it?" he asked.

I opened my eyes to squint. "Yeah? But what's the catch?" There was always one.

He smiled. "It's vegan." Of course, it was.

I scoffed. "My God."

Dante and Lissie chuckled at this before recommencing their cooking. I observed them. I observed the way Dante passed behind her, stopping to hold her waist and bombard her with cheek kisses until she caved in, giggling. I scraped my tongue along the inner walls of my cheek, trying to figure out how his actions made me feel.

This was Dante's biggest flaw. He was really close with all his roommates. They would kiss and please each other in any way they deemed necessary, only drawing the line at sex. Though, I'm certain they've had an orgy in the past.

My thoughts were interrupted by Nes, and Rave's approaching conversation.

"I don't just lie, Nes," Rave corrected. "I change the script."

Nes jokingly shoved him away, sharing a giggle with him as they approached us.

"That's supposed to make it better, right?" she asked him sarcastically.

"I mean... come on."

"No," she replied plainly, before turning to me. "Judie, answer me this."

Rave plopped down onto a stool and groaned, "Oh, good God here we go."

Nes folded her arms and shot him a look. "You can't call God's name if you speak ill of him, Rave."

"When do I ever 'speak ill of him'?"

"You say he doesn't exist."

"How is that speaking ill of him?"

"Wait..." Lissie approached the two with a bowl of yoghurt. "You don't believe in God?"

Rave folded his arms. "No, I don't. What are you gonna do about that? Send me to camp—"

"Then what do you believe in?" Lissie asked.

"Myself."

"Christ," the girls sighed in sync. Dante alone chuckled.

"What did you want me to answer?" I asked. "Nes?"

"Hm?"

"You said 'answer me this'."

"Oh, right. Your good friend Rave over here actually got to speak with patients at the hospital yesterday and—"

"What?" Lissy interrupted. "That's not fair. He isn't even in med school yet."

Nes replied, "Doctor Danny just fell prey to Rave's tricks." She turned to him. "What the hell did you do to him?"

"Nothing."

"Right."

"No, seriously, I did nothing. Doctor Daddy just wants to fuck me." He then looked down in thought, a slow smile forming, "Not that I won't let him."

"Christ," Nes sighed, shaking her head before returning to me. "Anyway, he got some one-on-one time with the patient, and when he got caught making out with them, he lied—"

"—convinced..." he corrected.

"...he lied to a nurse and said the patient pulled him in."

"No, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! It wasn't a complete lie, Jude—"

"So, you admit, it was a lie."

"—the patient told me they had a secret and would only tell me if I gave them a peck. I did, and they told me they were a drag queen before getting ran over—"

"What?" I interrupted, my heart sinking at the familiarity of the narrative.

I had just turned the corner and made out the store ahead when something fell into my line of sight.

It was a black drag queen.

I slowed down to get a better look. I had never seen one in real life before. He was insanely tall, bedazzled in jewels and decorated in a hot pink everything. It was indeed a sight to see. He was on the phone with someone, ready to cross the street, so I stopped to let him pass. I flashed him a smile, and he walked past, yelling, "Thank you, darling!"

I waited for him to reach the centre of my car before I stomped on the accelerator.

"Yeah, cool right?" Rave raved, "A fucking drag queen. Could you blame me for going back in for more?"

Dante did the justice of asking the right question. "They got ran over?"

Rave seemed disappointed by the question but answered nonetheless, "Yeah," he sighed. "A few months ago. They said they were dressed in their flashiest, pinkest fit, and when they tried to cross the street at night, some kid ran them over with their car."

My eyes widened ever so slightly, but before I could ask anything, this guy entered the kitchen with, "Dark." He then picked up the tub of peanut butter with a spoon and braced himself up to listen.

This must have been the Onyx I had heard so much about. This was the first time he had left his room.

Upon noticing all eyes were on him, he furrowed his brows before waving his hand. "Continue, I'm intrigued."

I took it upon myself to ask, "Did... he—they see the person?"

"Yeah, babe said they were blonde, and white, and had hate in their eyes."

"That's vague," Onyx mumbled.

I nodded. "It is. What else did he—they say?"

Rave furrowed his brows. "What do you know about it, Jude? You know who did it or something?"

Before I could say anything, Dante stepped up. "Wuh yuh really trying to imply, Rave?"

"No, nothing. It's just he seems—"

"I did it," I confessed, eyes staring forward at nothing, feeling their gazes on me. "I was the one who ran him over with my car."

★・・・・・・★

Things were weird after that. I explained my situation, and they understood me, but I felt like the whole thing hung darkly in the air. I wondered what they truly thought of me now. Did they trust me? Did they fear me? Did they even want me in their space? I had no idea.

What did Dante think of me now? What did he think now that he understood what I meant when I said I was a hateful person behind that mask?

Their influences were good for me. I loved staying there with them. They talked me into a plant-based diet—not pushing me to commit forever, but—as long as I stayed with them. They talked me into joining the gym, meditating, and journaling. They even helped me discover my passion for fashion and to apply to their university to continue my studies.

They were good for me. He, Dante, was great for me. Everything there was good and perfect and well, and whatever other redundant adjective could describe the situation. The point is, everything was... great, but it wasn't long before my brain decided to ruin that.

I had started having these thoughts that, just as their thoughts could influence me, mine could influence theirs. I wasn't well; my patterns could have affected and ruined the good lives they led.

I tried to talk myself out of it, but I couldn't be so selfish. I couldn't stand the thought of ruining them all, so I packed my things.

It was around noon when I had decided this. They were all at school still. It was my perfect chance to disappear, but I couldn't ghost them after all they had done for me, so I waited.

★・・・・・・★

"Jude?" Came the voice of a female. My eyes fluttered open to see Nes smiling at me. "How'd you manage to fall asleep here?"

I looked around to realize that I was sleeping on the staircase and was now surrounded by their inquisitive gazes.

I met Dante's eyes. His hadn't the slightest glint of a question in them. He saw the bags around me and knew what they meant.

"Mi wah talk to yuh before yuh go," with that, he walked up the stairs.

I glanced at the others before following him up.