10
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All I had was my phone beneath my bed.

When I didn't watch the explicit videos of the gays being torn to shreds, I watched Ciro's Instagram stories. That new dude was posted more than he posted himself. Videos and pictures of the two gauged at my insides. They were constantly clubbing and hiking and swimming and camping and biking and baking and crafting and gardening together.

The pain it caused was intolerable, but I couldn't stop. I couldn't find the willpower to switch my phone off. Every waking second, I studied them, monitoring my pain as it transitioned into rage.

I would have done nothing about it if I didn't see it happen. It wasn't quick and meaningless; it was long and passionate. They kissed—no, sorry—made out on a livestream.

I simply couldn't stand it anymore. Someone had to do something. Something had to be done.

They were at The Code, a lavish club on the outskirts of town. I got up, prepared my equipment, ate something, and left.

★・・・・・・★

It wasn't hard to find them from there. They were now in the lounge. This was perfect.

I made haste in their direction.

"Jude?" Ciro called, but not even he could quell the rage that bubbled within.

"What's up, dude? We were just talking about yo—" Fortunately, Fegan was cut short by the bullet that blew a hole in his throat. The only thing that contorted on my face were my eyes as I listened to the righteous sound of five consecutive bullets ringing off.

Bright red was all I saw; Ciro was covered in it. His eyes were wide and his mouth was set agape. A rancid metallic scent wafted through the air. It was then I noticed I was still trying at the trigger.

Click, click, click.

I looked at my hand, the screaming bystanders, and Ciro again. Why was he looking at me like that? Why was he so mad? I did our relationship a favour. Why was he being so ungrateful?

I pointed the gun at him and fired.

★・・・・・・★

I saw them at the mall. They were laughing. Fegan held onto Ciro's arm to regain his composure.

My eyes stung, and it felt like explosives were going off in my head. I struggled to get a sound out; struggled to get a breath.

"C..." I tried, but they couldn't hear me; they couldn't help me.

I couldn't stand any longer. I clutched onto a railing for support and then I was out.

I woke up to someone shaking me. It was Fegan. Ciro merely stood there. Was he so mad that he would leave me for dead? He had no idea what I went through to be with him. He had not a single notion of the physical and mental agony it took for me to just let him kiss me.

He took it all from me: my dignity, my sense of self, my values, and I asked for nothing in return, but not anymore. Now, I was going to take the thing that mattered the most to him.

I looked Fegan in the eyes with my weary ones. He smiled, turning to Ciro. "He's conscious, go call the—" He never got to finish that thought as I took my pocket knife and swiped it across his throat.

I felt his warm blood on my face and smirked at Ciro's broken eyes. Fegan fell to my side, writhing and choking, but I couldn't take my eyes off of Ciro and he couldn't take his eyes off of me.

I was happy that it was so, but it still wasn't enough.

★・・・・・・★

They were hiking now. Ciro was shirtless. I could see the sweat glistening off his toned and tanned back.

I saw Fegan gazing at the view from the edge of the cliff. Ciro was occupied with collecting bark, so I advanced. I crept up and before Fegan could make a sound; I shoved him off the cliff.

I squirmed, trotting toward Ciro. "He's gone, Ciro! Ciro, he's gone!"

"Who's gone, J—Who are you talking abou—"

"I'm so sorry, I tried to tell him not to do it but—"

"Jude!" He held my face, steadying me. "Who's gone?"

"Fega-Fegan. He's gone. He's... dead."

"Fegan..." he whispered. "Who is that?"

"I don't know why—what?"

"Who's Fegan?"

"Your... what do you mean?"

He approached me. "I know no one else but you, my prince." He let go of my face, only to run his fingers through my hair. "No one and nothing will ever matter to me. I will never see another thing but you."

"But he's dead..."

"He doesn't matter. You're the only thing that matters to me now."

My eyes swelled up with tears. This wasn't real. Goddammit, it wasn't real. I knew it wasn't, but it felt so good. He held me by the elbow and pulled me to his chest. I gazed up at him, my mind barely processing a single thought. The only sound that rang true was static.

I ran my fingers along his chest before he moved to my ears and whispered, "I love you."

I turned to face him and he smiled before pulling me closer and allowing his lips to brush mine before we completely melted into each other's touch. He made sure I felt the meaning behind those words.

Ciro placed his hand on the small of my back and pressed my body against himself even further. He deepened the kiss, granting his warmth to satiate me even more. I didn't know how much I needed this until it was mine. He was mine, and no one could ever take him away from me, not after now.