23
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"Do you do this type of stuff with all your hookups?"

"Of course."

I raised my head and furrowed my brows at him. "Of course?"

He shrugged. "Yeah." He smiled at my confused expression before squeezing me tighter. "I is just wi dem does call the ultimate people-person. Mi love off fellow humans bad, bad. So mi like showing da." He observed me. "Nah, you en picking up what I putting down at all."

I opened my mouth to reply, but only a sigh came out.

He smiled. "You understand what I was trying to say?"

"Yeah," I said, unsure. "I think." He chuckled, and I sighed, lying back at the crevice of his neck. He continued to stroke my jaw. "So you're like... pansexual?" I asked.

"Correct is right," he replied. "And poly too."

"Okay." A long string of silence followed suit, before I asked, "When did you really... like figure that out?"

"That I was poly or pan?"

"Both, I guess."

"Well ahm... Ah always thought ah felt the same way for boys the way I did with girls, but is when I was... about nine, I started tellin' people. If yuh really know me, yuh go know how mi cya shut up. Once is something 'bout me, ah going and tell everybody.

"I used to live in Trinidad and Tobago and everybody did know me as gay." He scoffed. "Even though, I did tell them I liked girls too. I ended up moving to Jamaica at thirteen 'cause I used to get tormented and shit; beat up rell bad."

"Shit..."

"Yeah, normal. Such is life, ent?"

I hummed, before asking, "Did it help though? Moving to Jamaica?"

He chuckled. "Is Jamaica, bai. Of course not. 'Cause eventually, people there find out bout mi too."

"How do they keep—"

"Well, as I said, mi can't shut mi mouth, and mi love off PDA bad. If I like a person, boy or girl, I gon show that no matter where I'm at. Mi parents recommended after that that Americans would accept me more, so here I am."

I shifted my head slightly so I could see him. "So are you? Are you really more accepted now?"

"No... yeah? To be real, there are a lot more people here, so more people like me, but I think I'll face the same issue anywhere so it doh really matter. I just won't shrink myself, no matter the cost. Yuh understand?"

I nodded gently. "Of course."

"Plus, now ah strong, black, tall, and Caribbean. Who the fuck could touch me?"

★・・・・・・★

My eyes fluttered open, peering directly out the open door to see the sun peeking over the horizon. The air was biting and frigid, but beneath the covers and snuggled beneath Dante's embrace, I felt warm. He had his chin resting at the top of my head, my body pulled to his with a leg over me in case I decided to flee.

I moved ever so slightly and he instantly gave way, turning to the other side to doze off again. I got up and walked onto the balcony, closing my eyes to experience it all.

I felt the air brush against the peach fuzz on my cheeks, the cold ground beneath my feet, and the fading warmth from Dante. I tasted the remnants of him from last night, remembered the moments, and relished in them. Then I heard the wind flap against my ears and a groan in the distance. I turned to see Dante rising up.

He got off the bed and approached me. So now we were both experiencing the morning air.

"How yuh feelin'?" he asked beside me.

"About last night?"

"Yeah... and no. More about how you feelin' about embracing this side ah you?"

"Oh, as in—oh. You know... you know I have had sex with a man before, right?"

He cocked his head to the side. "Fuh true?"

"Heh, yeah." I looked off into the distance. "But it was weird with him. He reacted weird the morning after."

He nodded slowly. "Orhor..."

I turned to him. He was listening intently, waiting for me to continue, so I did. "After realizing that I was gay myself—God, it's still so weird to say..."

He chuckled. "It be like that, y'know, but normal. Yuh go get used to it, man."

I nodded. "Right. So, uh... after realizing I was gay, I thought he was the reason. I believed that if I could ever be with a man, it had to be him. But after coming out... I think—God, this sounds terrible, but—I don't care whether he's even in my life or not. I just don't feel as bothered as I used to." I turned to him. "And trust me, I used to be really bothered."

I returned my gaze to the sky, continuing, "He was my best friend, and I loved him—I still do. I miss him, of course, I miss him. He was my everything, but he's changing and... that's fine, I guess, but I don't think I like the person he's becoming, and I don't think I should have to deal with—Sorry, I'm just rambling now."

"No, no, doh worry. Yuh good. Continue."

I thought for a moment and his patience never wavered. I took in a deep breath before continuing, "After expressing all those pent-up feelings, I genuinely just feel free. Free of my ideals, free of my fears, free of... him." I shook my head. "He's not a bad person, and I'll always love him, but..."

"...yuh doh need him no more. Nuh as much as yuh thought yuh did."

I nodded. "Yeah."

"Ah understand, trust. He was just yuh gay awakening."

I looked at him and chuckled. "No, yeah. I think you're right."

"Of course I am."

I chuckled in response, and he smiled. After that, we stood in silence for some time before he said, "I have morning class today, sadly. What you plannin' to do?"

"I don't know, honestly."

"Yuh don't have class today?"

"Oh, no. I don't go to college. Period."

"Serious?"

"Serious."

"How old you is?"

"Nineteen."

He hummed.

"What about you?" I asked.

"Twenty-one."

"Oh, cool."

"So..." He tapped his fingers on the railing. "Yuh want to stay here fuh the day and just rock back?"

"Like chill?"

"Yeah. We have some things you could busy yourself with in the basement. If yuh into art and shit, yuh could just find something to do from muh cupboard. Ah have ah iPad too, it doh have no password, so you could go crazy. We have Netflix, Apple TV, Prime... I have a PS5... books... Ah doh know what yuh like so..."

"Damn, okay. You trust me that much already?"

"Ah have extremely good intuition."

"Really?"

"Yip, so ah trust muh judgement at all times." I chuckled, and he continued, "Is true. Last night, when ah did see you inna da crowd, and you did come back home wi me, ah know I was getting the tightest hole."

"Oh, my God..."

He held my waist and smirked down at me. "And guess who was right, mi genna?"