chapter sixteen

jordanna meet stake

━✧━

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAREBEAR!" Jordanna exclaimed as she set off a confetti popper and jumped on the vampire's bed, waking the blonde from her ever-so-needed slumber. "Today is the day of your birth and you are lucky enough to be in the presence of . . . me!"

"Oh joy," Caroline grumbled, shoving her head further into her pillow, mindlessly trying to swat Jordanna off of the bed, but failing to do so.

"Yeah, no. What is up with you, blondie?" Jordanna asked as she poked Caroline in the cheek.

"I'm just not really feeling my birthday this year, JJ," Caroline told her best friend, smacking her hand away from her cheek.

"The Caroline Forbes is telling me that she's not feeling it? The same Caroline Forbes who came to my door last year when I ignored all your emails and text messages. Wow, okay then."

"I'm stuck!" Caroline exclaimed suddenly. "I'm stuck in a filler year, the only point of being seventeen is to get to eighteen."

"So think of it like this Care," Jordanna started. "You only look seventeen meaning you'll be hot and young for the rest of your life. No wrinkles or grey hairs. You'll be blonde and preppy forever. Plus technically today you are still turning eighteen. So it's a win win tesoro."

"I guess," Caroline grumbled as she pulled her face from her pillows. 

"Don't I guess me Forbes, you know I'm right," Jordanna grinned. "How about we skip school, go shopping and get high. Just like old times."

"Nope, we," Caroline gestured between the two, "have a test today."

"Seriously?" Jordanna said at a mumble. "Well that's too bad gorgeous because I, the best person in your sad little life, has already made you plans for the day. And you better be grateful, because I even invited that little bitch because you're still friendly with her."

The blonde groaned into her pillow. "Jordanna!" She shrieked when the witch pulled the bed sheets off the vampire's body.

"Cute PJ's Care," Jordanna winked before walking to the blonde's wardrobe. "You need to look hot! Like Jordanna  hot, it's your birthday, Care, own it."

✧

 "This is creepy, even for us," Bonnie commented as the group of teens entered the crypt.

"No, Caroline was right. She has a point—she's technically dead. This is exactly where she needs to be to say goodbye to her old life," Elena placed a birthday cake on a table, sticking candles in it.

"Okay, here lies Caroline Forbes . . ." Caroline started.

"Cheerleader, third grade hopscotch champion," Elena continued.

"Friend, daughter, overachiever," Bonnie smiled softly in the Forbes' direction.

"Mean girl- sometimes, no offense," Matt grinned.

"My childhood enemy but the only light in my ever so boring life. She was seventeen and had an adorable little life until Kitty-Kat killed her with a piece of cotton," Jordanna spoke, grinning at the looks she was receiving. "So rest in peace Carebear, so that you can move on and all that bullshit."

"Amen, cheers or whatever. Bonnie?" Elena laughed glancing at the witch as Bonnie lit the cake. "Nice! Okay, make a wish."

"Tequila if you would, Matty," Jordanna grinned, holding her hand out for the bottle.

✧

"Go shorty it's your birthday!" Jordanna and Bonnie screamed as they danced around, the Jones spinning the Bennet in circles—large smiles on their faces. "We gon' party like it's your birthday! We gon' sip Bacardi like it's your birthday! And you know we don't give a fuck it's not your birthday!"

"Jordanna, turn it down," Elena groaned as she rubbed her fingers against her temple.

"No."

"Jordanna."

"Kill joy," Jordanna pouted as she made her way to the speaker, turning it down. "Has anyone ever told you how boring you are?" She asked as Bonnie tiredly went to sit down, Matt moved to grab the bottle of tequila from her, but Elena snatched it away, throwing her head back before taking a huge gulp. 

"Trust me I need it more than you do."

"Course you do," Jordanna muttered under her breath.

"Caroline, what are you doing?" Elena questioned the blonde who was quietly texting in the corner.

"What? Nothing," the blonde insisted, looking up from her phone briefly to be put under the heated stare of the doppelganger. 

"So adorable when you're drunk blondie," Jordanna teased, pinching the vampire's cheeks.

"Okay, you're a bad sober liar. You're an even worse drunk liar," Elena accused she folded her arms across her chest.

Caroline smiled sheepishly as she swatted away Jordanna's hand, "I might've texted Tyler."

"Caroline . . ." Elena said with judgement in her eyes.

"What? I'm delicate," Caroline quickly defended herself.

Jordanna glared at the doppelganger, "what's it got to do with you anyway? News flash Elena, you don't get to tell her who she can and can't speak to."

"He's bad news, Jordanna, she shouldn't be talking to him and you shouldn't be encouraging it. I can't say I'm surprised though—you are with Klaus after all."

"Okay, first of all," Jordanna narrowed her eyes at the brunette, "I'm not with Klaus, not that it's any of your business. Second your poor judgement on Tyler gives you no right in telling her what to do, it isn't Tyler's fault he's sired."

"You're right," Elena nodded. "It's Klaus'."

"You sure do bring Klaus up a lot, are you sure it's not him you're pining over?" Jordanna teased the older girl.

Elena rolled her eyes, "I'm just saying- Klaus is the cause of all our problems. I wouldn't be surprised if he was just using you as entertainment. I think that you should just stop whatever it is that's going on between the two of you before things get messy."

"No one cares what you think Elena, especially not me. Think what you wanna'."

"Give them a break you can't control what everyone does all the time," Bonnie snapped causing an awkward silence to emerge.

"Amen," Jordanna spoke, raising the bottle of tequila in her hand before taking a large mouthful.

"Wow," Elena blinked in shock at the witch's sudden outburst.

"Ouch Bon," Matt said shaking his head.

"Sorry, I know it's Caroline's birthday . . . funeral or whatever but I just feel it's really wrong that you compelled Jeremy to leave town."

"I'm sorry you did what?" Jordanna questioned in exasperation.

"I'm doing it to protect him, Bonnie. I want to give him a chance to have a quiet, normal life," Elena explained, ignoring Jordanna's comment. 

Jordanna leaned over to whisper in Caroline's ear, "I bet she wants to send him away so she can bang Damon and Stefan without interruptions."

Caroline smacked her hand over her mouth to muffle her giggles as the girls sat and watched the pair. 

"He should be able to choose how he wants to live it, and you're taking his choices away," Bonnie gritted her teeth in annoyance.

Elena shook her head at the Bennett, "Bonnie, you can't tell him."

"Why? Are you gonna compel me not to?" Bonnie asked mockingly, raising her eyebrows in question.

"Witches can't be compelled Bon Bon," Jordanna spoke up. "So, I say tell him, what can she do?"

Matt sighed, "you know you guys are ruining a perfect funeral."

"I'm sorry. I'm just gonna' go sleep it off or something," Bonnie stood before looking down at Caroline with a faint smile. "Happy birthday." 

Jordanna and Caroline shared a look as they passed the bottle between one another leaving Matt and Elena in an awkward silence.

✧

"Sorry didn't mean to crash the party," Tyler announced as he walked into the crypt, all heads snapping his way.

"So don't," Matt spoke coldly, glaring up at the hybrid.

"No it-it's okay!" Caroline said quickly as she turned to face Tyler with a small smile. "Hi."

"Hey. Can I talk to you for a sec? It's kind of important," Tyler replied as he played with the hem of his jacket.

Caroline nodded, passing Jordanna the bottle of bourbon the two had snuck in as she stood. Jordanna huffed as she looked back towards the other two—Elena was glaring at the door while Matt looked glum. 

Jordanna sighed as she chugged some of the bourbon. 

"What?" She asked, having noticed the Donovan's eyes on her.

Matt shook his head in amusement while Elena turned to him, "you okay?"

"Yeah, I want her to be happy, you know? It's what I want for all of you guys, in the middle of this crazy life you got stuck living in."

"Is that how you see it? That we're stuck?" Elena questioned with a frown.

"I'd say it's attached itself to you all pretty tight, yeah." 

"Bonnie is right-"

"Okay, let me stop you right there before this conversation gets depressing and mushy," Jordanna groaned before it turned into a playful grin, as she pulled out another bottle from her bag, waving it around with a grin. "Guess who brought another bottle of tequila?"

And yes, while she hated Elena ( and Damon ) for the situation with Mikael, she didn't want to make the atmosphere awkward for when Caroline came back, so for tonight she sucked it up, pushing her dislikes aside for one night, for Caroline.

After all, she couldn't ruin things for Caroline, the perky blonde was the key to it all . . . 

✧

"Whoops!" Jordanna slurred as she fell into Matt, muttering a small 'sorry'. "We've been abandoned," she pouted playfully before a random chuckle passed her lips.

"Okay, we're going on a search party. I don't trust that she won't get back together with him," Elena spoke up as she followed behind.

"Oh my God," Jordanna groaned. "If she's happy Elena, leave her be. You have no right in telling her who she can and can't be with."

"Crap, not again," Matt grumbled in dismay before calling out. "Caroline!"

"Come on, Caroline! We don't have anymore drinks!" Elena shouted out.

"Yeah and Matty's being haunted by ghosts!" Jordanna teased as she wiggled her fingers at the Donovan in a taunting manner before she tripped on her heels, causing her to fall into Matt and Elena. The three erupt in drunk, hysteric laughter. 

It was nice. Jordanna didn't like it. It felt like it did before the Salvatore's came to town and changed the dynamic. 

Ruining the small moment the three shared (  thank God! ); Matt was suddenly hit over the head, falling unconscious and two hands fell over Jordanna and Elena's mouths before they were dragged away.

Stefan placed Elena in the front seat of his car before placing Jordanna in the back, locking them in as he sped away from the cemetery. Jordanna's head popped between the passenger and drivers seat as she glared at Stefan.

"Well hello to you too, Stef," she greeted sarcastically. "You don't write, you don't call. You left me on read on literally everything. A little hello would've been better than a kidnapping, Stefan. If you missed me that much why don't you pick up the goddamn phone?"

Stefan smiled at the girl falsely, "hello Jordanna, how are you?"

"Oh, I'm fine. My best friend is kidnapping me so I could be better, I guess. You?"

"Oh, I'm great! Thanks for asking," Stefan grinned but it turned into a scowl as Jordanna whacked him on the back of the head. "Idiot. What the fuck are you playing at?"

Before he could reply, the doppelganger's phone began ringing, Stefan pulled out Elena's cell from his pocket, answering the call. "Hello Damon, she's a little busy now."

"Why the hell do you have Elena's phone?" Damon questioned angrily, causing Stefan to chuckle. 

"I'm making my next move. Let me ask you something. What will Klaus do if he can't make anymore hybrids?"

"What!" Elena exclaimed at the same time Jordanna commented. 

"You've officially gone fucking psychotic," the witch shook her head in dismay, rubbing her temples as a headache slowly formed.

"You have Jordanna too? Do you want to die, Stefan?"

Stefan rolled his eyes and threw the phone out of the window.

"What are you doing? Stefan, let us out of the car! Do you hear me? Let us out!" Elena screamed as she tugged on the door handles.

"So, what's the plan, Stef? What's this big move you're making, huh?" Jordanna taunted.

"I took Klaus' family to make him suffer, I'm not gonna' let him make a new one."

"So, what are you gonna' do? Lock me in a cave and keep me hostage?" Elena asked sarcastically.

Stefan snickered with a careless shrug, "maybe. Maybe I'll just turn you into a vampire."

Seriously?

Elena's face twisted into one of fear, "stop the car, Stefan!" 

Jordanna grabbed the Salvatore by the ear, "stop the car now Stefan and I might just spare you the agonizing pain of me ripping your fucking balls off!"

Stefan rolled his eyes as he dialed Klaus' number, "always one for the dramatics Jords! Live a little, don't worry I'm not gonna kill you."

"Oh, lucky me," the witch quipped sarcastically.

Stefan grinned at her as Klaus answered the phone, "Stefan! How nice it is to hear your voice."

"Tell your hybrids to get out of town Klaus," Stefan demanded earning a chuckle from the Original. 

"Well that's not going to happen until I get my coffins back."

"Okay, well then I'm gonna drive your blood source off Wickery bridge and take your plaything to her house and bury her alive, it's quite symbolic if you ask me." Stefan spoke; he liked the symbolization off all Jones women dying in the comfort of their own homes.

"I don't believe you Stefan, you won't do it."

"Won't I?" Stefan asked as he grabbed a stake, turning as he impaled it into the witches abdomen.

"Oh! You stupid son of a bitch! Why am I always getting stabbed?" Jordanna groaned out as she let a small breath escape her lips. "This is putting a huge dent in our friendship." The Salvatore rolled his eyes as he turned to Elena and bit his wrist, holding it to Elena's mouth—forcing her to drink his blood.

"What's going on?"

"I just shoved a stake in your girl's stomach. She sure is losing a lot of blood, one small push and it goes through her heart. Quick and painless. As for Elena I just fed her my blood, no more hybrids if she's a vampire." 

"You won't do it!" Klaus growled out.

"Really? Try me, because your coffins are next to go. Say goodbye to your family Klaus," Stefan stepped his foot on the gas causing the car to drive faster and faster.

"I am sick of this bullshit," Jordanna mumbled as she lifted her hand giving Stefan an aneurysm. The vampire grunted in pain as he turned and pushed the stake further into the girl's stomach, ignoring her cries.

"Well fuck," Jordanna whimpered as her hands began pooling with blood. "Stefan Salvatore you better stop this car or I swear to god if I die in this ugly tin can I will haunt your ass from the other side, you hear me?"

"Stefan stop! She's dying Stefan! Stop the car!" Elena screamed out.

"Fine, I'll send them away. You win!" Klaus shouted, backing down in worry for Jordanna.

"Stefan! Stupido coniglietto che sgranocchia bastardo ferma la macchina!" you stupid bunny munching bastard stop the car Jordanna screamed.

"Get your hands off of her Stefan! Stop the bloody car!" Klaus yelled out, his heart hammering in his chest.

Jordanna grunted as she bent down towards her feet and slid off her stiletto, she gripped it tightly in her hand and shoved the heel into Stefan's neck causing him to slam down on the breaks. 

Jordanna huffed back with a large breath as Elena jumped out the car before pulling Jordanna out with her. 

"Get back in the car!"

"Stay away from us!" Elena screamed as she checked Jordanna's pulse.

"Look, he had to believe I would do it all right? Your fear sold it," he looked down at Jordanna, "Jords get in the car, I'll give you some blood."

"Don't touch me," Jordanna mumbled as she closed her eyes and leant further into Elena's arms. She felt betrayed by him, her best friend, her brother. 

But then again, she was a bit hypocritical—I mean she had literally taken the vampire hostage when he first arrived in Mystic Falls.

"And what if he hadn't believed it?" Elena questioned.

"He did."

"Well, what if he hadn't Stefan!" Jordanna shouted in anger from her place on the floor, she stumbled as she lifted herself—with the help of Elena, weirdly enough. She neared the young vampire with a glare. "You know, all you people do is go on about how Klaus is the bad guy but not once has he put my life in danger to make a point, not once!" She jabbed a finger in his direction, "but you! You have! After everything Stefan does my life mean so little to you?"

"Come on Jords, let me heal you," Stefan said ignoring her screaming.

"Go to hell," Jordanna spat as she twisted her fist, breaking his neck. She turned back to the shaking doppelganger who was trembling as she looked down at the bridge in fear.

"Come here," Jordanna muttered as the older girl fell in her arms sobbing. Jordanna grimaced slightly, but couldn't help but feel a bit of pity towards the doppelganger.

A little while later the witch strolled down the streets covered in blood, hand held over her healed stomach. Jordanna had called Damon to pick Elena up and he told her the least he could do was heal her—so instead of letting her stubbornness get in the way, she let him, before she kicked him in the balls... The Salvatore even offered to take her home but she was still furious with him so she told him she'd walk home. 

"Matty-Blue, what's wrong?" Jordanna greeted as she answered the phone.

"It's Caroline- Tyler bit her."

"Son of a bitch!"

✧

Jordanna made her way towards Caroline's house just as Klaus was exiting, having just healed the vampire. The sight of him had just fuelled the witch's anger. 

"Jordanna sweetheart, are you all right?" Klaus asked in concern as he took in her bloody clothes.

"Shut up!" Jordanna snapped, shocking the hybrid. "You promised me! You fucking promised me, Nik! That Caroline would be safe, from this. From you!"

"Stefan angered me, I needed leverage," Klaus looked down at the ground in guilt. 

"I ask one thing of you! One damn thing. To keep the people I love safe from your stupid little quarrel with Elena and the Salvatore's. It's not like I was asking you for their protection—because I wasn't."

"Jordanna, love, I assure you I was going to heal her," Klaus explained.

"That's not the point Nik!" Jordanna screamed as she pushed his chest. "That's not the fucking point! What if she died, huh? What if you hadn't made it in time? My best friend would've been dead because of you and Stefan constantly going at each other!"

"Jordanna," Klaus muttered softly, grabbing onto her wrists that went to push him back again. 

"Klaus . . . " Jordanna trailed off as she tried to tug her hands out of his grip. 

"That is who I am Jordanna, it's what I do. I lie, I kill, I ruin lives. You don't deserve this and I don't deserve you," Klaus spoke quietly as he looked into her eyes.

"Don't do that," she snapped, rolling her eyes as she hastily wiped away more fallen tears. She knew she looked a mess, eyeliner and mascara ran down her face, her clothes drenched in blood as her hair looked flat and dull, Jordanna didn't do 'flat' and 'dull' hair, it was unnatural. "Don't do the 'oh, I'm no good for you', 'I'm a shitty person', 'you'll be better off without me' thing! Don't. 'Cause guess what? So am I. I'm not a fucking saint either, Klaus. I've heard that shit too much, I don't need to hear it from you as well."

Klaus looked away with a clenched jaw. "What do you want me to say, Jordanna? Because it's true, is it not? I lie and I kill. I don't know anything else. Yes, I should've kept Caroline out of it, but I didn't and you don't deserve that," he met her eyes once again. 

The witch didn't know what to say so she said the first thing that came to mind; 

"I-I'm gonna check on Caroline," Jordanna nodded to herself as she pulled out of his grip and headed to the porch without looking at him. "Goodnight, Klaus."

As she pushed the door shut behind her, she rested her back on the wood, sighing deeply in both annoyance and dismay. The creek of the floorboards caused her to lift her head, finding a pale looking Caroline glance her way.

"Are you okay?" The blonde asked. "I heard the shouting."

Jordanna waved it off, a dry look painted across her features. "I got stabbed no more than half an hour ago and I've got to deal with other peoples shit, so I'd say no, I'm not fucking okay. You?"

"My boyfriend bit me so I'm not exactly feeling great now either," Caroline lifted a shoulder, making her way over to the witch before she grabbed her hand and dragged her up from the door. "Come on, my mom's making your favourite."

Jordanna's eyes lit up. "Vodka martini's?" She asked, earning a nod in response. "I fucking love your mom."

{AN} oh no the girls are fighting,,,,,, Jordanna's not good with communication clearly

tbh i forgot she was a witch im not gonna lie xoxo oh well

anyways sorry if my next updates slow i plan on spending my time drinking and getting high and fat xox

UNEDITED :\

(edited 10/12/21)