There is mentions and descriptions of alcohol abuse in this chapter, as well as non-consensual groping. Please do not read any further if you are sensitive to these topics.

⸻·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ♡ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙⸻

"Here we go," Yunho sets down six pizza boxes on the marble kitchen counter, opening the top box as his vulture-like friends steal pieces before even grabbing paper plates. Wooyoung shoves the greasy cheese pizza into his mouth, taking a thankful bite as he nods happily.

"Is it good, Woo?" San watches him with a growing smile, watching his friend devour the hot food.

"Oh yeah." Wooyoung gives him a thumbs up, which in turn causes San to steal a piece also.

"Aye!" Yunho tries to smack San's hand away, finally able to set down the open pizza box as Mingi grabs two slices and sneaks away. "Scavengers!"

"In our defense," Wooyoung starts after swallowing his rather large bite. "We're growing boys."

"Wooyoung?" Yunho stares at him, the black-haired boy looking at him with a confused, doe-eyed gaze. "You're fucking twenty-four."

"I'm still growing!" Wooyoung's brows furrow, taking another bite of pizza as Yunho turns around.

"Mentally, maybe." Yunho breathes under his breath, opening the second box and setting it down on the counter.

"How long do you think Yeosang and Jongho are gonna talk?" San mumbles through chewing. Wooyoung glares at him with a disgusted look, holding his hand over San's mouth to cover his 'talking and chewing at the same time' habit that he couldn't stand.

"They've been talking for an hour already," Yunho joins in the conversation, checking through pizza boxes to make sure his order was completely correct.

"Let them talk it out," Wooyoung gently nudges San, eyes diving towards the pizza boxes as he contemplates taking another piece. "Or fuck it out. Who knows what Jongho is into anymore."

"Woo!" Yunho turns around abruptly, smacking his wrist with the batch of napkins he had grabbed just a second prior.

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding–" Wooyoung re-reaches for another slice, a shit-eating grin coating his expression. "Maybe."

"Not everyone solves their problems by having sex," Yunho disagrees, but Mingi's expression seems to tell a different story.

"I definitely do." Mingi's hand awkwardly raises while his other hand shoves another bite of his pizza in his mouth.

"God, guys. Alright." San winces. "Enough."

"San, I'm surprised you don't take more girls home." Mingi's gaze is questionable. He was about to say something so wrong, but no one was going to stop him. "Is it because Wooyoung is always in your bed?"

"Jesus Christ." Yunho was done, that was it. He grabs his slice of pizza finally and leaves, walking into the living room to avoid the conversation.

"It's true!" Mingi tried to plead to Yunho, but Yunho was ignoring him, raising his middle finger into the air so that only Mingi would see.

"I don't sleep around because I just don't want to." San can feel Wooyoung's eyes on him, but he remains calm and takes another bite of his slice.

"Plus," Wooyoung shrugs. "I get more than he does anyway." Wooyoung turns on his heel and walks into the living space after Yunho, leaving San speechless and Mingi laughing.

"Not cool," San mutters under his breath, looking over at Mingi who was trying to stifle his laugh. San rolls his eyes immediately after. "I'm just worried about everyone, alright? I don't want people leaving because they're pissed off or anything. We've been friends for years, and I'm afraid that's going to change."

"Love does something to people, San'ah." Mingi sighs as he reaches for one final slice of pizza. "Sometimes that breaks people apart."

San's heart is ripped out of his chest. He didn't want to admit how right Mingi actually was for once, but he knew that his own hidden feelings made his statement that much more hurtful.

"Love is bullshit!" Wooyoung responds from the couch. San winces. Shit.

"Word." Mingi nods his head, closing the pizza box lid just an inch in front of him. San grabs his phone and is about to head back outside for a moment of peace when Seonghwa rounds the corner with bloodshot eyes.

"Hyung?" San stops in his tracks immediately, searching Seonghwa's face for any sign of emotion, but Seonghwa says nothing. Yunho and Wooyoung turn to look behind them, stunned at the look on Seonghwa's face.

"Can we talk?" Seonghwa mutters quietly and San doesn't hesitate to grab his hand and lead him outside, Wooyoung following shortly after. Yunho and Mingi exchange a glance before Hongjoong enters the room with a look of guilt plastered over his eyes.

Seonghwa pulls San outside and leaves the door open for Wooyoung before slamming it shut. He stands still, head falling into his hands as he turns around to face his friends who simply stared at him, worry bleeding out of their skin.

"I told him that I loved him." Seonghwa's head finally tilts up, teeth dragging on his bottom lip as he decides if he wants to continue talking or not.

"Hwa–" Wooyoung wants to interject, but San places a hand on Wooyoung's chest, nearly demanding silence as their friend finds the confidence to speak again.

"He told me he can't love anyone. He told me that I came pretty close, but he just isn't interested in a relationship with me or with anyone in general." Seonghwa shifts weight between his two feet, anxiety sinking in as he rocks back and forth very gently. "I feel like my heart got ripped out of my chest."

"Hwa," San approaches timidly, hand reaching out and waiting there if Seonghwa wanted to take it. But, Seonghwa does take it, pulling San into him for a hug as he holds his other arm out, hand waving Wooyoung in as well. Warmth overwhelms Seonghwa as he does his best to not cry, but with San's hand rubbing his back and Wooyoung's tight hold on his shirt causes tears to drop from closed eyes anyway.

"I'm sorry." Seonghwa apologizes, but Wooyoung kisses the side of his head, somewhere near his temple.

"There's nothing to say sorry for." San mumbles into his hair, feeling Seonghwa lean a little further into San's shoulder.

"I need a fucking drink." Seonghwa slightly laughs at himself, feeling San and Wooyoung both pull away slightly to look at him.

"You? Drink?" Wooyoung's puzzled face makes Seonghwa chuckle a bit more.

"I like to drink, Woo, but I don't like to get shitfaced. I kinda feel like I need to get shitfaced."

"Are you sure?" Wooyoung double checks that Seonghwa is in fact sure of his statement, but all his friend can do is nod in assurance.

"Well," San taps his shoulder with a determined smile. "Let's get shitfaced, then."

Wooyoung's head is fuzzy. Music thumps away loudly in the back of his brain as he sits outside on a bench, watching half-naked girls walk past him while giggling and batting their eyelashes. He was kind of interested, but not interested enough to take one of them to the bed he would be sharing with San. He lazily drags his line of sight towards Mingi, dancing around with a bottle of soju in his hands, girls dancing either on him or near him. Mingi loves this shit, drinking until he's so wasted that he can't remember what girl he slept with.

Wooyoung soon finds Yunho as well, talking with a pair of girls in tiny pink bikinis, a tinge of pink stuck to his cheeks as he seemingly flirts with both of them. Wooyoung isn't sure if it's the alcohol or his cloudy state of mind, but he watches Mingi look at Yunho with smeared jealousy lingering on his face.

What the fuck is going on?

Wooyoung suddenly leans forwards, lips seeking out his nearly-empty bottle of soju, tilting the bottle back until droplets sink into his tongue. He didn't even know much he had drunk at this point. Three hours had passed since Seonghwa and Hongjoong 'broke up', even though they weren't technically together. Yeosang and Jongho came out unscathed from their conversation and have been dancing together since. Though, Wooyoung had no idea where San went. That was truthfully the only thing on his mind.

San. San. San.

Why is he only thinking about San? There's at least twenty different girls around him, asses out and drunk out of their minds practically begging Wooyoung to take them into a quiet room, but Wooyoung couldn't care less.

Seonghwa had disappeared at some point too, completely flustered and drunk out of his mind after a round of shots and downing four bottles of soju. He was off gallivanting, probably, leaving Wooyoung by himself as he searched for company that he was familiar with.

"Young'ah." Hongjoong suddenly approaches him, sitting down on the bench and slinging his arm over Wooyoung's shoulders. Wooyoung doesn't budge. "Have you seen Seonghwa?"

"Why do you care?" Wooyoung dangles his empty bottle between three fingers, swinging it around as he lets his hand twirl it near the ground.

"Ugh," Hongjoong grumbles. "I do fucking care."

"Clearly not."

"You don't even know what is going on between us."

"He clearly loves you." Wooyoung refuses to look at Hongjoong, leaning forwards with his elbows resting on his thighs.

"I don't want to fuck him up with my bullshit." Hongjoong takes a swig of the beer he was holding by its neck, a guilty breath leaving his lungs. "I really like him, Woo. I just don't want to fuck him up."

"You already did. Do you not see that?"

"I pushed him away, I know it's my fault things ended up this way." Hongjoong raises his hands defensively, but settles back down into his seat. "But–"

Wooyoung wants to punch him, kind of. He just can't tell if he's actually angry or 'drunk angry'.

"I really regret what I said to him. I was just scared that Hwa's love for me is something I didn't deserve."

"Everyone is deserving of something," Wooyoung winces at his own advice. He had always felt like a burden to San. An emotional, physical, financial burden that leeched off of San and sucked the life out of him. San was too good for the world, especially for him.

"I don't know if I am now." Hongjoong twirls the remainder of his drink around in his bottle. "I just wanna tell him I'm sorry."

"I'm sure he's around," Wooyoung suddenly has a change of drunken heart, leveling with his friend as he realizes that his past scars made him fear actually healing. Wooyoung knew that all too well, letting his wounds stay fresh and un-scabbed, allowing himself to feel the pain of each broken heart he had to endure due to cheating and lies. San was always there for him during those cries he bellowed as his heart took each and every beating, barely reviving himself as he chose to soak his wounds in beer. "I haven't seen him."

"I'll find him. But if you see him, please tell him I want to talk to him again." Hongjoong looks at Wooyoung with a different demeanor than before, something softer. "Please."

"Yeah, yeah." Wooyoung nods his head, leaning backwards into the press of the bench. "If you see San, please tell him I'm drunk and in fear of getting lost."

"Lost?" Hongjoong stands from the bench, looking down at Wooyoung's smile.

"He'll know what I mean. Just tell 'em." Wooyoung sets the empty bottle down as Hongjoong begins to walk away with a cheesy grin. San actually might not understand what Hongjoong meant when he says 'Wooyoung is lost', but he figured it would get San to run to him.

He knew he was completely blasted, far from sober as he sits and thinks about San's pretty eyes and dark hair. He wants to run a hand through his hair and down his jaw. Lips touching his neck as he moves further and further–

Okay, Woo. What the fuck are you thinking?

He stands from his bench, wobbling slightly as he carefully walks on the concrete towards Yunho, his face still flushed and eyes focused on two pretty flirting girls. But, when Wooyoung approaches, Yunho's face falls.

"You alright?" He interrupts one of the girls talking to check in on Wooyoung, who seemed to be barely stumbling around, eyes hazy and narrow, almost on the verge of passing out.

"Have you seen San?" Wooyoung places a hand on Yunho's shoulder, steadying himself as he looks at the confused girls, rolling his eyes at them. Yunho places a protective hand on Wooyoung's back, keeping him steady as he looks around in the sea of people.

"I think he's inside." Yunho looks back over to Wooyoung, now seeing his flushed cheeks and drunken haze. "How much did you drink?"

"Not important. You're so nice, though. Thank you–" Wooyoung begins to walk away, winking at Yunho as he walks away, then looking at the girls very awkwardly. "He's a keeper, ladies!"

Yunho watches him stumble away for a minute, making sure he didn't tumble into the open pool that Mingi had lingered into with his crowd of women. But, Wooyoung makes it to the back door that was wide open, eyes blinking rapidly as they adjust to a low-lit environment, scanning around for a familiar, handsome face.

He passes warm body after warm body, half apologizing to people he accidentally stumbles into as he makes his way towards the couch through the crowd of people. His hands land on the back of the beige sofa, holding him steady as he looks around again, still seeing no sign of San whatsoever.

"Well you're cute," A feminine voice rounds the corner out of Wooyoung's sightline, stirring his attention away as the voice's origin comes into view. "What's your name?"

She's wearing a skinny, black dress. Her hair is down, the lace of her bra exposed just above the cut of her dress as she stands in front of Wooyoung, a red solo cup in her hand. Her tongue finds the corner of her mouth as she stands waiting, thinking Wooyoung is admiring her body shape and waist.

Unfortunately for her, Wooyoung is too damn drunk to care, eyes sleepily trying to study her face before looking over her shoulder in hopes of spotting his friends. But to no avail. "Wooyoung."

"Hu Tae," She smiles at Wooyoung, taking a sip of her drink that rested in her palm. She continues to look Wooyoung over, his buttoned black shirt un-done at the top as his ripped jeans clung closely to his thighs. A silver chain is hidden against his collarbones, the peak of a tattoo showing just beyond the open collar of his shirt. "Do you have a girlfriend, Wooyoung?"

"No." Wooyoung bluntly answers, eyes still searching through the crowd as the female approaches closer, but he doesn't budge. She's tilting her head at him, brow raised as her hands find Wooyoung's thighs.

"Good." She mumbles. Her breath reeks of alcohol, but her perfume is subtly sweet. She knew what she was doing, batting her eyelashes with plump glossy lips as she waited for Wooyoung to accept her invitation, but Wooyoung really couldn't be bothered.

"Why is that good?" His drunken state half-irritates the mistress as her hands slowly glide upwards towards Wooyoung's waist.

"That means we can go somewhere secret without being disturbed."

"What?" Wooyoung's drunken haze melts as he realizes that the woman in front of him was basically groping him. His hands find her shoulders as he gently pushes her an arms' length away, watching her face singe with disgust.

"What the fuck?" Her tone changes suddenly, striking a nerve in Wooyoung as he stands from his leaned position, eyes narrowing as the woman opens her mouth to speak.

"Nah, nah, nah. Absolutely not." A voice familiar to Wooyoung finally enters into his ears. He turns, thankful that San had just appeared from nowhere. He came running, just like I hoped. "Get off of him."

"Aw," She pouts her lip at Wooyoung then turns to San. "Do you fight his battles for him?"

"No. But when I see someone groping the fuck out of my best friend, who's drunk by the way. That's when I intervene. Step off." San's demeanor is suddenly different. His eyes are colder than usual, his tone drops deeper as he looks down at this woman who was clearly intoxicated, but San was having none of it. Wooyoung watches closely, taking note of the tight black t-shirt clinging to San's abs for dear life. His pulse quickens, eyes trailing upwards as they find San's adam apple and jaw, taut and tense, anger boiling out of him as he presses closer to Wooyoung's assailant.

Why is he so hot when he's mad?

"He asked me to touch him, thank you very much." She lies through her teeth and San dares to almost believe her.

"I'm very fucking drunk, but not drunk enough to let you lie about you touching me." Wooyoung snaps from his inebriated coma, mind clear enough to process a smirk when her cocky attitude falls almost immediately.

"It's a shame, really." She folds her arms and backs away three more steps. "You're both really attractive, but such dicks."

San watches her leave without another word, feeling multiple pairs of eyes on him as party-goers become onlookers to the situation unfolding near the couch. Wooyoung leans back into his spot, hand reaching up to rub at his eyes and he feels the pull of exhaustion take over.

"Woo," San approaches him, hands finding Wooyoung's shoulders while searching to meet his gaze. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, San'ah." Wooyoung wants to brush him off, go back into the party and drink more. But he's so tired all of the sudden, body aching for rest as he feels San's hand grip him a bit tighter. "How did you find me?"

"Hongjoong told me that you were lost? Or something?" San sounds confused, and Wooyoung laughs.

"I can't believe he actually said it."

"Do you want me to take you somewhere quiet?" San asks and Wooyoung doesn't answer. San's hand finds Wooyoung's jaw as he lifts his head up, finally looking at Wooyoung's sleepy brown eyes. "Did you hear me?"

"Yeah, yeah. Please." Wooyoung suddenly feels San's hands trail down to his waist as he pulls him from the couch, slinging his right arm over Wooyoung's shoulders to lead him through the house. People thankfully move out of their way as San mutters a few 'excuse us' through the home, maneuvering through the crowd and into the hallway. Wooyoung stumbles further into the quiet hall with the help of San as they find the second door on the left and enter inside. San lets go of Wooyoung's shoulders, closing the door behind them as he listens to Wooyoung stumble towards the bed.

"Hey, hey. Hold on." San moves around him quickly, grabbing their bags that they had left earlier in the day resting on top of the comforter. He throws their clothes and bags onto the floor nearby, then lets Wooyoung sling himself onto the bed back first. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"San'ah, I'm fine. Don't worry." Wooyoung coos with a small hum.

"I am worried, Woo. You're really drunk."

"No shit."

"How much did you drink?"

"A couple bottles."

San raises a brow. "How much is a couple?"

"Six or seven–" Wooyoung laughs. "I didn't count."

"Alright, well, I'm cutting you off." San looks down at Wooyoung, watching him giggle drunkenly on the bed. San kneels down and takes Wooyoung's black shoes off, throwing them off to the side near their bags. Wooyoung stays still and complies, mumbling incoherent words to himself.

"Do you want me to get you different clothes?"

"You're not undressing me, weirdo."

"Who said I would?" San's eyes catch Wooyoung's as his face turns red. San can't tell if it's from the liquor or something else though, leaving him to lean over the bed and start taking Wooyoung's accessories off.

"What if I wanted you to?" Wooyoung smiles, hand reaching to touch the back of San's neck when he hovers over him. San smiles and bites his tongue. "San'ah? Hm?"

"The answer is no, Wooyoung." San remains stern, but Wooyoung can't help the feeling in his chest when San's tone is firm.

"But look at you taking care of me," Wooyoung smiles, raking his hand through San's perfect hair. "I don't deserve you."

"Yes you do, Wooyoung. You deserve anything you want." San finishes taking off Wooyoung's bracelets and his necklace, now holding his hands still to take off the silver rings he had on as well. Wooyoung is oddly compliant, staring up at San as he looks at him with a completely tipsy ogle.

"Why?" Wooyoung's voice is a whisper. He bites the inside of his cheek, watching San's jaw tense up when a breath rolls through his chest.

"You're my best friend." San replies calmly, holding back words as he bites his tongue. Wooyoung knows he's hiding something.

"Why do you honestly put up with me?" Wooyoung is very brazen for being so drunk. He's shocked at himself that he can manage to continue to stay coherent and talk like this, but when San's around, he can't help but stare at him.

"I care about you. A lot." San lets go of Wooyoung's right hand as he collects the final remnants of silver from his friend, leaving the bed to place the accessories on the wooden dresser. Wooyoung sits up, propping himself on his elbows as he tilts his head slightly.

"San'ah?" Wooyoung is biting his lip now, watching San's back flex as he bends down to take his own shoes off.

"Yes, Woo?" San would do anything for Wooyoung. But the four words that were about to leave Wooyoung's lips were something San could've never prepared himself for.

"Can you kiss me?"

San's throat closes. He nearly chokes on his inhaled breath as he leans back upright, looking at his friend stare at him with a drunk smile. His cheeks were rosy and warm, head in the clouds as he haphazardly asked his best friend to kiss him on the lips.

Wooyoung kisses all of his friends on the cheek. It was just something he did. San liked to reciprocate the love when he felt the need to, kissing Wooyoung's forehead from time to time, but never has he ever dared kiss his friend on the lips. It was too intimate, something he vowed to never do in fear of ruining their friendship. The fear only got worse when Seonghwa came to him in tears hours ago, broken by the words Hongjoong expressed to him behind a closed door.

"W-What?"

"Kiss me."

"Woo, I don't know–"

"I want you to kiss me." Wooyoung's voice is different. "Please."

"You're drunk."

"I still want you to kiss me, San'ah."

"No, you don't. You're going to regret it when you wake up tomorrow. Please, Woo. Lay down."

Wooyoung frowns, pushing himself up slowly from the bed. He tries to stand completely upright, but he stumbles and San isn't too far away to reach and catch him. San's hands keep Wooyoung steady as he lowers him back down to the bed, breath hitching when he realizes that Wooyoung's head is tilted upwards at his, lips only inches away.

"C'mon, Sannie." Wooyoung flirts lightly, a smile curling on the edge of his soju-soaked lips. "You know you want to kiss me."

"I–" San swallows hard. "I do. But I can't."

Wooyoung's hands raise to the back of his neck, thumbs gently rubbing against San's reddening skin. "You can. I'm right here."

"You're right here," San obediently whispers, lashes flicking down to look at Wooyoung's lips drifting closer. San's hands struggle to remain complacent near Wooyoung's waist, settled on the bed with his fingers curling in the fabric.

San isn't drunk by any means. He had a celebratory shot with Mingi along with a bottle or two of soju hours ago. But something about Wooyoung's eyes and voice are intoxicating, and he can't help but inch closer.

"Then do it." Wooyoung whispers against his lips, feeling San collide into him. The kiss tastes like hard liquor, but God, San feels his heart burn for more. It's slow moving and drunk, Wooyoung lazily moving his lips back to kiss San, and San only kisses him deeper.

Wooyoung pulls him closer, if at all possible, the smile his lips curl to only driving San crazier.

"Woo," San breathes for a moment, kissing Wooyoung back as he surges back towards him. "We should stop."

"Stop talking."

"I'm serious–" San breaks apart, forehead resting against Wooyoung's as he breathes a long, humbling breath.

"Talk about what?"

"Is this really what you want? Or are you just drunk?" San feels Wooyoung leaning backwards, slouching back to his original position as his head tilts down. San's hands reach for him, but Wooyoung turns his head away.

"Why are you ignoring me?" San kneels down, watching Wooyoung's reddened gaze suddenly turn sad.

"I'm drunk. But not drunk enough to forget what it feels like kissing my best friend."

"Then why did you–"

"Because I wanted to. Okay? Is that good enough?" Wooyoung finally turns to him, voice raising with drunken irritation.

"Shh, shh. Okay." San attempts to quiet Wooyoung down, wincing when Wooyoung yelled at him. "It is good enough. I just wanted to be sure."

"Okay." Wooyoung unlocks his jaw, taking a deep breath as San's hand moves without thinking, fingers trapping Wooyoung's chin in his grasp. Wooyoung looks at him, puzzled and sleepy, but San simply smiles at him.

"Now, where were we?"