There is mentions of Alcohol/Alcoholism in this chapter, please do not continue further if these topics are sensitive to you.

⸻·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ♡ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙⸻

The smell of burnt toast culminates into San's bedroom, edging beneath his closed door and over his bed, hanging like a cloud before the sleeping boys. San's hand just barely rested on Wooyoung's waist, but neither of them mind the warm contact from one another.

Wooyoung had the blanket pulled over his head, his brows furrowed as a pounding migraine forced him awake, eyes struggling to open to greet unwelcomed light. His mind feels numb, unaware of his actions from last night, talking up girls and slurring his words, ingesting more toxic waste than he probably should've.

His phone incessantly vibrates on the table next to him, over and over and over again. He can't convince himself to uncover his eyes from the shielding blanket, but then again, if his phone vibrated one more time, he might just have to break it in half. He begrudgingly reaches for his phone within the safe comfort of his dark fort, pulling his phone beneath the covers and watching as his screen illuminates his quiet space.

Yeosang

Are you awake?

Wooyoungie~

Hellooooooo?

Wooyoung sighs, setting his phone down next to him as he slowly pulls the blanket away from his eyes. Thankfully, San's curtains were completely closed, so any light that had broken through was pretty minimal. He glances over to San, who was completely passed out, watching him with a tired, hungover gaze. Wooyoung held so much affection for him in his heart, always wondering what he did to deserve a person like San in his life.

Buzz. Buzz.

Wooyoung's eyes roll into the back of his head, turning his gaze back towards his phone, watching Yeosang continue to text him without a care in the world. Wooyoung swipes open his phone as an angry reply leaves his fingers, but just before he can send it, he erases it. His mind blanks on the thought of lashing out without reason, so he swallows his pride and responds with a simple 'I'm up.'

He turns back over to San, using his free hand to tap his friend on the chest, listening to him grumble sadly at the disturbance to his rest.

"No," San frowns, pulling his blanket closer to his chest, playing avoidance to the best of his sleepy abilities, but Wooyoung persisted.

"San'ah," Wooyoung's groggy voice reaches San's ears and his eyes perk open slightly. He smiles, and just for a moment Wooyoung can feel his heart skip a beat.

"Feeling okay?" San always cared more about Wooyoung more than himself, sometimes a little bit too much, but that was just how he was hard-wired. Selfless and adoring, too kind for this world towards his Wooyoung.

"My head fucking hurts," Wooyoung leans into his pillow slightly, watching his friend stifle a yawn, rubbing his tired eyes with a subtle grumble.

"I can imagine."

"Yeosang won't stop texting me." Wooyoung breathes disappointingly, listening to San chuckle. Wooyoung flashes a quick glance towards his friend, almost feeling a slight tinge of anger as San laughs a little harder.

"He wants his best friend. He had a rough night." San assures it was a meaningless text-bomb, but Wooyoung can't get rid of the anger stuck in his chest. A rude awakening, especially hungover, is not his idea of a good Sunday morning.

"I love Yeosang, but I'd like to kill him for waking me up."

"Oh, stop it." San pushes Wooyoung's arm slightly as he reaches over and Wooyoung retaliates by smacking his wrist away.

"Get out of bed," Wooyoung directs and San furrows his brow.

"Why?"

"You're warm. You leaving will make me get out of bed." Wooyoung shoves him lightly, trying to coerce his friend into rolling off of the cozy mattress.

"You're such a lazy shit, Woo."

"You love me," Wooyoung smiles, pulling the blanket towards him and hiding his cheesy smile behind it. San rolls his eyes with a lazy smile, throwing the blanket off of him and over his friend, sitting upright and yawning.

"Yeah, I do." San reaches over and smacks Wooyoung's ass, laughing as Wooyoung lets out a muffled 'San'ah!'

San leaves the room with messy hair and wrinkled clothes, his door wide open, allowing the burnt smell to further engulf the room in a bitter scent that Wooyoung eventually determines he can't stand.

Yeosang attempted to make a group breakfast with Yunho's help, but eventually decided on ordering breakfast for everyone since burning toast was the catalyst of their decision to order in. Everyone eats silently, waiting for each hungover member of the cramped apartment to awake from the dead to come and eat a greasy breakfast. Seonghwa approaches last, tired eyes avoiding eye contact as he takes his meal into his bedroom, closing the door behind him almost immediately. Wooyoung wants to ask Hongjoong what happened, but Hongjoong's gaze was deeply uninterested in discussing anything with anyone.

Yunho eventually leaves their apartment after making fun of Wooyoung's flirting skills at the bar, leaving Wooyoung to laugh on the couch alone with San staring at him as if he were crazy. Yeosang helps Hongjoong clean up their dishes as San takes a shower, leaving Wooyoung alone again to watch boring television, listening to the news broadcast fill the void in the tense quiet, allowing himself to sink into the couch cushions as his thoughts consume him.

Yeosang joins him eventually, sitting next to him on the couch and staring into the television with the same uninterested gaze. Neither of them exchanged any words, but Wooyoung knew Yeosang was still upset. He leans his head over and gently rests it on Yeosang's shoulder, feeling Yeosang eventually give in and rest his head lightly back on Wooyoung's. Yeosang always claimed to hate skinship, but something about being let down by Jongho time after time made him a bit more wanting of affection than normal.

San leaves the steaming bathroom, hair wet and skin freshly clean, using his towel to dry the last bits of dripping hair. He scans the kitchen for life, but only sees Yeosang and Wooyoung resting on the couch. Hongjoong crawled back into Seonghwa's room, but San didn't know why they seemed so cut off from everyone else.

"Woo, don't you have to go to work?" San approaches the backside of the couch, resting his hand on the cushion behind Wooyoung's back.

"I'm not going." Wooyoung very casually comments back, earning a sigh of slight annoyance from San and Yeosang. "What?"

"You gotta stop missing so much work. They're going to fire you eventually, Wooyoung." Yeosang warns as he watches the television still, feeling Wooyoung gently move his head.

"Psh," Wooyoung knows he needs to stop missing work. He knows he needs the money and he knows he cannot afford to lose the job, but something inside of him cannot convince himself to go. Maybe it was because he was hungover or because Yeosang needed company, but Wooyoung just didn't want to go, and that should've been reason enough.

"You can't be upset if they fire you," San grabs onto Wooyoung's shoulder and gently shakes him, feeling Wooyoung slap his hand away. "You've done it to yourself."

"Yeah, yeah." Wooyoung is quick to dismiss the worry of his friends, but their points were completely valid. He knew that. He just really didn't want to admit it.

"By the way," San lowers his head towards his friends, voice a lot more subtle than before. "Is Hwa okay?"

"No idea," Yeosang sighs. "I heard them arguing earlier."

"Arguing?" Wooyoung's eyes widen slightly as his head raises, looking at Yeosang then to San.

"Not like screaming at eachother." Yeosang looks at San. "More like a disagreement of some kind."

"I hope Hongjoong didn't reject him." San's voice is low, protective almost.

"Why would he if he went to bed in the same room as him?" Wooyoung had a valid point for once. Yeosang and San exchange a glance before looking back at Wooyoung who simply shrugs.

"Hongjoong is kinda oblivious to Seonghwa's feelings anyway." Yeosang looks down to his hands. His voice seemed a bit more sympathetic than earlier, tone a cent deeper, a bit softer too. Wooyoung could understand the similarities between Seonghwa's relationship with Hongjoong versus Yeosang's own catastrophic relationship with Jongho. It was a mess.

"I don't know," San sighs. "I caught them sucking face at the bar last night."

"Ew," Wooyoung grimaces. "Don't say that again."

"So something must've happened while we were all asleep." Yeosang points out the obvious, causing Wooyoung and San to share the same, worried glance.

"He better not have done something stupid while drunk." Wooyoung says quietly and San agrees with him. Seonghwa was a very sensitive human, one who was almost too pure for this world. He took a lot of pride in his fashion sense and his looks, craving that one day Hongjoong would return the attention Seonghwa had always given him. They had always been good friends, but one day Seonghwa's feelings took hold of his heart and has held him hostage since.

Seonghwa had a crush on Hongjoong for almost two years, only letting his friends in about the secret crush months later, but somehow, Hongjoong remained completely oblivious. Seonghwa had always downplayed his emotions, not really wanting the attention of comfort in times of need, but when it came to his heart and his unrequited feelings, Seonghwa sat with San in his room most nights, playing on his hand-held game with quiet tears. San would just sit with him, either at his desk or next to him on his bed, offering whatever support the elder needed at the time.

"It's not our place to decide when Seonghwa can make a move on someone, guys." Yeosang looks at both of them, tone a bit louder at first, but calming down as he breathes. The topic was a bit sensitive, knowing fully well that his own relationship was in shambles.

"I'm not saying that." San turns his head to look at Seonghwa's door, making sure it was completely shut. "I just wish he would've been sober before hooking up with his crush."

"There's nothing wrong with drunk sex, San." Wooyoung looks at San, almost puzzled, but San shakes his head.

"That's not what I mean. Being drunk makes things a bit more complicated and hard to understand, especially if you can't remember what happened in the first place. I just don't want Hwa to regret doing something when he's drunk." San grabs onto his towel and leans away, walking into the kitchen without another word. They all felt wrong for discussing their friend's private affairs, but they couldn't just sit idly by while their friend-circle crumbled at the surface.

Yeosang looks at Wooyoung, a tired gaze covering his eyes as he looks back at the television, then back at Wooyoung.

"I'm gonna go, I think."

"You don't have to."

"I wanna be alone for a bit. I need some time to think things through."

"I understand," Wooyoung looks at Yeosang with a mischievous smile, reaching forward quickly as Yeosang's face drops into a sudden frown when Wooyoung engulfs him in a bear hug. Yeosang doesn't hug him back and Wooyoung doesn't seem to care, but the longer the hug goes, the more Yeosang can't help but smile slightly.

Yeosang and Hongjoong eventually leave the apartment quietly, leaving the three boys alone again in an apartment that remained wordless. San had isolated himself to continue writing his unfinished paper, leaving Wooyoung on the couch staring at his phone. It was still early, leaving the entire day up to Wooyoung to enjoy, but instead he would spend hours here on the couch, messily climbing through different scenarios of his friends that surely would never exist.

Seonghwa escaped the privacy of his closed door to steal some food from the fridge, but then he leaves again without looking at Wooyoung, who had been watching him with a concerned gaze. Wooyoung wants to chase after him and give him a hug, but he knew well enough to leave his friend alone when he needed space.

San eventually finishes his paper, or at least gets tired of writing it, and leaves the threshold of his room. San heads to the fridge and grabs two beers, heading to the couch and settling next to his friend, handing him one of the cold beers in his hands. Wooyoung looks at him, a smile curled on his face as he grabs the beer bottle and pops the cap off.

"He hasn't said anything to you?" San pops his cap off too, taking a large swig of his new drink. Wooyoung shakes his head, following San's lead as he takes a long drink.

"No."

"Should we bother him?"

"No."

"We can't just let him sit by himself-"

"We can and we will. He obviously doesn't want to be bothered." Wooyoung takes another drink, exhaling a breath from his lungs as the liquid soothes his soul.

"But we're his friends," San says almost quietly and Wooyoung taps his thigh with his free hand.

"And he will come to us when he's ready."

"You guys don't have to act like I'm too sensitive to talk about it." Seonghwa breaks through the quiet conversation intimately kept secret by his two roommates. San and Wooyoung turn around on the couch, hands finding the back cushions as their other hands clutched onto their beers, shock stimulating their minds as they find the words to apologize.

"Hwa–" Wooyoung can hardly form a sentence. It was unlike him to talk about his friends behind their backs regardless of what the context was, especially about one of his closest friends. Wooyoung couldn't keep his mind straight when he saw Seonghwa's broken expression, clearly devoid of hope as his eyes told a tale of many shed tears.

"I'm sorry for being so distant." Seonghwa looks down, hands finding the hem of his shirt as he messes with it in his nervous grip, waiting for judgment from his friends.

"It's okay. You needed space, and that's perfectly fine." Wooyoung reassures gently, watching Seonghwa's gaze lift towards them again.

"If you want to talk, we can talk right now." San can see the fear lingering in Seonghwa's body language, watching his blonde hair fall in front of his eyes as his gaze falls back down to his hands.

"Okay." Seonghwa says after a few tense seconds, approaching the couch and sitting in between his two friends as they make space for him. Wooyoung places his hand on Seonghwa's thigh, offering some support for their incoming conversation, being a statue of comfort in his time of need. San watches Wooyoung do this and it melts his heart. Wooyoung was always so caring towards his friends, always so loving and affectionate, but San wishes Wooyoung would hold the same care for himself.

"After we came home from the bar, Hongjoong and I planned on going to bed. We were both really drunk and tired, so after we laid down, something . . . changed." Seonghwa's brows furrow and his lips purse, confusion and hurt twisting inside his gut. "He kept saying he was imposing and didn't want to be in my way and I told him that I really didn't mind him being in the same bed with me, but he expressed to me that he was uncomfortable."

Wooyoung and San remain silent, nearly still as Seonghwa talks. "I asked him why and he told me that he didn't want us to make a mistake that we'll forsure regret."

"Yeosang mentioned that he heard you guys kinda arguing." Wooyoung truthfully replies, setting his beer down on the nearby side table.

"I was telling him that I wouldn't regret anything and he kept telling me I was drunk and had no idea what I was saying. He was pushing me away and just being so rude to me."

"Do you want me to kick his ass?" San asks partially serious, almost joking, but Seonghwa laughs half-heartedly.

"No, Sannie. It's okay."

"Thank you for telling us everything. We just worry about you, hyung." San reassures, hand reaching over to touch Seonghwa's wrist.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you this morning." Seonghwa feels Wooyoung gently smack his leg, which causes him to turn towards him.

"Stop apologizing. You did nothing wrong." Wooyoung affirms with a serious tone, watching Seonghwa smile at him.

"Wanna watch a movie?" San interjects, taking another sip of his beer as his friends look at him in surprise, then share a glance and nod happily. San smiles back, reaching for the remote and handing it off to Seonghwa, leaning back into the couch with his arm resting on the cushion behind Seonghwa. "Pick whatever you want."

"You give me too much power," Seonghwa deviously laughs and Wooyoung rolls his eyes.

"You're lucky we love you, Hwa." Wooyoung reaches for his beer, leaning back into the corner of the couch, arm outstretched as his hand accidentally touches San's resting behind their friend. San looks towards Wooyoung, raising his brow at him but Wooyoung smiles and takes a sip of his beer, letting the touch linger wordlessly.

The trio spends the rest of the day sitting on the couch staring at the television, watching movies depicting stories one after the other. Seonghwa insisted on watching Star Wars to which Wooyoung didn't reject and in fact offered to watch the entire series to San's dismay. They had gotten through four films, eating through almost their entire snack cabinet and half of a case of beer. Seonghwa turned into bed early in fear of waking up late for work, leaving San and Wooyoung to the couch in the late evening. San sat with Wooyoung for at least an hour, scrolling through videos on Tik Tok, laughing and sharing videos to one another even though they were inches apart. Once San goes to bed, he gives Wooyoung a long hug and heads towards his room, closing his door and leaving Wooyoung to grab another beer and settle into the couch once more.

The rest of the week goes by without a thought. Wooyoung finally shows up to work, lazily performing his duties as he repeats the cycle of waking up, going to work, coming home and drinking himself to sleep in San's bed.

Seonghwa and San continue their normal routines, watching as Wooyoung begins to drink more than normal, barely staying coherent enough to hold a conversation. San knew he was stressed, but could never pinpoint what about.

Friday rolls around and Wooyoung wakes up late, ignoring his first two alarms as they immediately get silenced for the sake of more sleep. Wooyoung decided to sleep in his bed last night, struggling to sleep as he tossed and turned for the majority of the evening until exhaustion took over and he physically could no longer stay awake. It was nearly five in the morning by the time his eyes shut for the sake of sleep, and when his alarm went off at seven for work, he didn't think twice about hitting snooze more than twenty times.

He doesn't wake until almost noon, rubbing his bloodshot eyes as he strolls out of his room like a fresh zombie. Neither Seonghwa or San were home at this point, giving him the opportunity to take a shower and drown himself in his thoughts.

Water runs down his skin as he sits in the hot water, letting the liquid run through his hair and down his jaw, dripping to his chest and down his abdomen, dropping all the way until it reaches the drain to recycle itself again. He knew he needed to stop drinking. He knew his routine had to stop. But the only way he could sleep anymore was to drink until he was wasted, sloppily making his way to San's bed and sleeping in his arms.

The water seeps into the drain seamlessly, washing away his anxiety and his fears as he lets himself sit there idly, letting his breaths swallow his tears that bridged over his long eyelashes. His black hair sticks to his skin as he stands there, skin crying for moisture as the alcohol evaporates from his body.

He finds himself on the same old couch minutes later, hair wet and mind hazy, pulling out his phone to send a text about the urge to leave town.

We should go to your parent's beach house soon.

Mingi

We can totally go for the weekend. Then we can come back home Monday morning?

I really want to. Do you think everyone would want to?

Mingi

Who the fuck is going to say no to a weekend of partying?

You're right, lol.

Let me ask Hwa and San when they get home. Can you ask Yunho and Yeosang?

Mingi

You got it.

Wooyoung waits and waits, eyelids drooping over his eyes as he sits there idly, watching the television as shows start and finish, his mind shutting off until the front door opens and his eyes snap awake.

"Hey," San greets as he closes the door behind him, taking off his shoes immediately. His eyes fix onto Wooyoung as he sleepily rises from the couch, phone still in his hand. "Were you sleeping?"

"Kinda. No. I don't know." Wooyoung struggles to blink back to life, biting back a yawn.

"Did you not sleep again?" San's face is coated in worry and Wooyoung can't help but feel guilty.

"No, I did, I just slept pretty shitty." San seemed to be unsure of Wooyoung's answer, but as he looked Wooyoung up and down, he could tell he wasn't lying.

"You don't have to keep sleeping in your room, Woo."

"I can't keep sleeping in your room, San. That's your space. You'll get sick of me."

"I'll never get sick of you, Woo." San sets down his small bag, walking over to Wooyoung as he slightly rocks backwards, eyes barely open. San places a hand on his back preventatively, keeping him steady as they talk.

"I can't rely on you to always sleep next to me. What happens when you leave or meet some chick?"

"I'm not gonna leave you. Stop saying that." San's voice was slightly stern, causing Wooyoung's eyes to open again and look his dear friend in the eyes.

"I feel like a toddler."

"You're not a toddler. You can't help having insomnia."

"But I can help being clingy." Wooyoung watches San's frown linger. He didn't want to make San upset or feel guilty, but Wooyoung was too tired to lie and couldn't help the honestly rolling from his tongue.

"I like your clinginess." San puts his finger under Wooyoung's chin, tilting it up slightly as he coos reassurance into Wooyoung's ears. "Don't ever change Woo."

Wooyoung's heart burns as his chest sets on fire. His face floods with redness as embarrassment singes his cheeks. What the hell am I feeling right now?

"Come on," San grabs Wooyoung's hand, leaning towards his door to coerce Wooyoung to follow him. "Let's take a nap."

"You don't have to stop what you're doing for me."

"I'm tired too. I don't mind taking a nap with you. Now come on, please." San pleads smoothly and Wooyoung follows like a devoted puppy. San doesn't bother to close his door as they settle onto his bed, Wooyoung taking comfortably to what he proclaimed was 'his spot', settling into San's soft mattress and pillows, pulling his comforter over his chest and hugging it tightly. San settles behind him, arm laying over Wooyoung's waist as his head gently rests against the back of Wooyoung's neck, breaths deepening the longer the seconds draw on.

At first, Wooyoung couldn't sleep. He lays there, eyes closed, heart beating out of his chest; unaware of the feelings evolving from the closeness of their nap session. But as San holds him tighter and the warmth spreads between them, Wooyoung's eyes lull sleepily, allowing himself to enter a dreamscape of peace as his body finally calms down enough to rest.

Only two hours pass by the time San wakes up, listening to Wooyoung's deep breaths as he sleeps quietly in front of him. San attempts to be quiet as he shuffles awake, leaning upright as he fixes his hair and yawns silently. Wooyoung stirs, turning over to his back as his eyes blink open slowly, looking at San who was looking down at him.

"I didn't mean to wake you," San's groggy voice sends a chill down Wooyoung's back. Wooyoung smiles at him.

"It's okay. I feel a bit better." Wooyoung's eyes fixate on San as they look at one another until San breaks their eye contact, looking out of his doorway as Seonghwa begins his daily cleaning spree of the apartment. Wooyoung reaches over to the table to grab his phone, tapping the screen awake to see notifications from Mingi appear.

Mingi

They all said yes. Did you ask Hwa and San?

Joong said yes too, by the way.

Wooyoung grimaces as he remembers he forgot to ask about Hongjoong, but in his defense, he did just hurt his best friend. So in his mind, it was completely justified.

"Sannie?" Wooyoung turns to face San as he looks over at him, ears red from being asleep.

"Yes Woo?"

"Do you want to go to Mingi's beach house tomorrow?"

"That's such late notice," San sighs.

"I know, I'm sorry, you don't have to–"

"But, of course I want to. Let's leave this shitty apartment for the weekend."

"Do you think Hwa is up to it?"

"Probably. There's nothing like drinking to forget a crappy ex."

"But they aren't ex's?"

San laughs. "Close enough."

San said yes. Asking Hwa now.

Wooyoung leaves the safety of the warm bed, perusing through the doorway to see Seonghwa dusting shelves in the living room, completely unaware that his once sleeping friends were now awake.

"Hyung?" Wooyoung quietly asks so he doesn't startle him, but he startles him anyway.

"God, Wooyoung." Seonghwa smiles playfully as he catches his breath for a second. "You scared me, you shithead."

"Sorry," Wooyoung chuckles. "Mingi wants us to go out to the beach house tomorrow. Do you want to go?"

Wooyoung watches Seonghwa's expression fall.

"I'm sorry, you don't have to go if–"

"Screw it. Let's go."

"You sure? Joong is gonna be there."

"Yeah. I wanna talk to him." Seonghwa seems fairly certain in his decision, but Wooyoung isn't so sure of his intent.

"San and I will be there for you if you need us, Hwa."

"I know," Seonghwa smiles and turns his gaze towards San as he appears from the doorway.

"Fuck yeah. Let's party!"