-

You and Levi both know that this wasn't just about protection anymore of you or Levi's powers, and while those were certainly factors in yours and Levi's relationship, it was harder to involve more people who could end up hurt and involved in this for no reason.

It wasn't just about the deal you made with Levi either. Erwin didn't know about any of this. All he knew was what he could see from the outside.

A part of you thought that you didn't want Erwin getting too caught up in this and it would be better if he helped you in other ways, like he did with the documents he gave you that helped you move a step forward. That was more than enough and you'd failed to express that to him.

Erwin took a deep breath, as if he was trying to continue to piece together something that refused to make sense in his head. Nothing was really clicking. Levi said nothing.

Because what Erwin wanted him to say wasn't his place to tell, and what is his place to say, he wasn't about to reveal it just like that. Something about this also felt like it wasn't the agreement that Erwin was asking about, although it may seem like that since part of what he wants to know is why you and Levi have been so secretive and that's part of the agreement.

To keep each other secret and help one another, it also sounds like Erwin wants to know about everything else. The parts that he was deeply unsettled by that didn't explain what happened tonight.

And while Erwin has been lending a hand, putting in effort, and doesn't want to feel like he's being left in the dark, Levi could understand that to an extent. His frustrations made sense.

"Hey-" Levi started as his tone became more firm, but Erwin didn't allow him to. Once he opened the gates to this conversation and everything he'd been harboring inside, it was like he couldn't stop. "I'm asking for cooperation here, Levi," He said as his voice stayed calm but there was a decisiveness that came with a strain pushing so hard for this.

"I'm not trying to accuse you of anything here. At least not directly. I'm just laying out the facts and what I know. I have to know. What's going on here? How do the two of you know so much about the assassin? How did you get there in time to save her and end up on the stairwell? What the hell are you trying to do?" He stated sincerely and with sternness behind it that made Levi's jaw clench as his eyes flickered to the floor for a second.

Even if he doesn't trust Levi entirely, at the very least, he thought they'd be on the same page on this. It wasn't that he was thrown by this, because he was expecting it.

How could he lead this conversation into something that wouldn't accidentally reveal something that it wasn't his place to know? Say too much, or too little? Either way, Erwin would definitely see right through him anyway.

"Look-" He began, trying to remain composed and to keep the conversation from boiling over. But even then, Erwin didn't stop. He had too much to say and his frustrations have been bottled up for too long trying to figure out what was happening right under his nose.

"Levi. She was hanging on the railing, about to fall to her death, before you got here," Erwin said, and Levi exhaled, being forced to remember once again having to find you like that and the adrenaline that came with it to hope you were still alive.

He felt himself crumble completely hearing your hysterical cries in his ear. Hearing you fall apart the way he did. "But when I found you both, you were already on the stairwell. How's that even possible? How'd you get her there? Something isn't adding up," Erwin continued, as his voice became a bit more sincere and with true hints of confusion.

But Levi couldn't just say; 'Yeah, we both jumped off the building and I used my powers to transport us to the stairwell.' He just couldn't.

He couldn't give Erwin what he wanted to hear from this conversation. It wasn't possible. And especially without your permission. You and him were in this together, and that's how it had to be.

"Maybe if you stopped cutting me off," Levi muttered and Erwin narrowed his eyes as he went silent and his Adam's Apple bobbed as he swallowed. Your bodyguard looked back, took one glance between the gap in the door and saw you still sitting at the table.

Shaken. Silent. Immobile. Still trying to come down to Earth. Levi turned back to look at Erwin and then gestured towards the door. "You really want answers? Ask her yourself. I thought the two of you had some sort of unbreakable bond. You've known each other for ages. I'm sure she'll tell you if you ask," Levi pointed out, knowing that what he could do here was pretty limited and he shouldn't have to be the bridge or middle ground between you and Erwin to get conversations and points across.

Most of the things Erwin wants to know aren't things that Levi can reveal just like that behind your back. But Levi's answer only seems to frustrate the blond even more. He scoffed, looked away and put his hands securely on his hips.

"I wish it was that easy, but she won't say a thing. I keep walking around eggshells around her and I don't want to hurt her more. That's why I'm asking you. She seems to be telling you everything she's not telling me," Erwin said and Levi swallowed.

That was one thing that he and Erwin had in common; the fact that the two of them were trying their best to not say something to set you off or hurt you in the process. But even so, Levi couldn't help Erwin the way he was asking of him.

It took him a couple seconds to answer but when he did; he spoke directly from personal belief and what he's been acting off of. "Then if she hasn't told you, then she has her reasons. You should respect that," He said truthfully, and while Erwin really did want to do that, his need to always push forward intervened instead.

His loyalty for you went deep and it's been building up for years to the point it was hard to pull back. Erwin could feel he may be losing and pulling away from someone he's always protected and stood by, and that maybe you've found someone who could help you a lot more than he ever could and still doesn't understand how or why. Someone you needed all along.

"Levi. I'm asking because I want to help her," He clarified, as if he hasn't made it incessantly clear that all he wants is to be in the loop, to not watch as if he was on the outside looking in. That conversation outside where you and Levi seemed to be able to read each other's minds kept nagging at him.

"I get that. You made that very clear. But she hasn't asked for your help. When she wants it, she'll do it," Levi said flatly and Erwin frowned as he looked down at the floor and a couple strands of his neatly brushed back blond hair fell in front of his face.

"And pushing her to talk when she's not ready won't help either. It's going to do more harm than good. For God's sake, it's been an hour since she almost fell to her death. Let her breathe," Levi explained, but it seems like it wasn't getting through Erwin's stubborn brain and neither of them seemed to be truly comprehending each other's words, no matter how clearly they explained themselves to each other. It was as if their words went one ear and out the other.

Erwin heard Levi's words and shook his head. For the time that he's known you, that has nearly never been the case. And he didn't think that Levi would understand, but truth is, from the time Levi has known you, he didn't realize it before but he was already familiar with your habits, what kind of person you are, your strengths, weaknesses, and so much more because he only just recently realized how similar it all is to the way he handles his problems and tackles life problems.

You two were more similar than he ever thought and although he had a lot to learn, and he didn't know if this agreement and relationship would stop when he gets his powers back and the psycho is caught, he would take every moment he can to learn about you and embrace everything about you. Even if it wasn't a life long friendship like Erwin had with you, everything about you that Levi knows about, he already cherishes.

"You don't get it, Levi," Erwin starts, but Levi feels his body go stiff. 'I do get it, more than you think' he thought to himself. "She's always been like this. Since her parents passed and Grisha took her in. It's the way she's wired. We were around the same age when we met and she hung around me and Grisha the most because she knew she was stepping into an environment that she knew she wasn't welcome in. She's managed ever since, being independent and fighting her own battles. But even with the two of us around, and even after Eren, Armin and Mikasa became a big part of her life later on, I know a part of her thinks she has no one. She's been on her own, she isolates herself, because she has this belief that no one would bat an eye if she needed help. But it's not true, she needs to know it's not true" Erwin explained, exhaling profusely and dropping his hands from his hips.

Levi could see that Erwin truly wanted to help, but he was blinded by it at the same time and that he wasn't considering any other alternatives to go about this and to approach you.

The blond thought he was running out of options and he was resorting to an approach that would ultimately push you away. All of this simply reminds Levi of how flawed humans can really be when it comes to people they care about and they're blinded to the point it may be more harmful than good.

Levi stayed silent as he processed Erwin's words, and the blond continued. "That's why she refuses to tell me. She gives me short and vague answers I can't go off of, thinking that her problems shouldn't be anyone's burden. I don't know what she's thinking. I hate watching her crumble like this, and if she doesn't know how to ask for help, maybe I can offer it instead. Gradually. But I need to know what she's going through. And I know you know. You care about her too, I can tell," Erwin said and Levi huffed, not having any words to say to that because he knows it's true.

He does care about you, and maybe in a way that's a little too similar to Erwin. They also both have very different ways to want to go about this situation. Neither of them could see eye to eye.

What's frustrating is that while Erwin pushed for a solution and had a plan, Levi wanted to do things as he deemed fit as they happened with restraint or else it would all blow up if things don't go as planned. They wanted the best for you.

What's hardest for Erwin is knowing that he really does think that he knows you, but nowadays, he's not sure he knows that you've changed since Levi came into the picture.

He feels like you're slipping away from him, losing his place in your life that he thought was secure, and now he feels like he has to claw his way back in any way he can. But not out of his own ego, but out of love and care.

It was easy for Levi to tell that Erwin was holding back the hostility and animosity in his voice, because as he's expressed, he didn't trust Levi. Not yet. He didn't even fully believe both of them had the same intentions.

Levi began to think. If Erwin says that she has trouble reaching out, how hard was it for you to even bring up the idea of asking for Levi's help and for him to be your bodyguard? Or was it a no brainer that you thought you shouldn't think twice about?

If that was the case, despite every argument, what made it so easy for you to rely on Levi's help even when you barely knew each other? Was it because of his powers, or because of him? Did you see something in him he didn't know at the time?

Did both of you keep coming back to each other because you had faith in him? Because you truly believed you could be there for him despite things getting rocky? What were you seeing that he wasn't? He wasn't about to throw that in Erwin's face either.

That's not what this is about. Was it possible that this protection deal was far beyond the obligation of the agreement and it was what you saw in Levi?

Someone who could protect you through thick and thin and even from yourself and not just because he had to? Or is it still just out of convenience? Part of Levi didn't want that to be the case.

There was a long pause before Levi continued. "I do care. But the thing is, if she doesn't want to talk about it, so what? What if she's not ready? I get that you're panicked, but at least let her process this. And if she doesn't end up asking, you being there is enough. I'm sure she knows how much you care.

If you truly knew her as well as you say you do, you'd know how strong she is to know how much she can handle. She may seem fragile right now, but she's not made of glass. What gives you the right to force your need to help on her?," Levi explained calmly and Erwin's jaw tightened and fought back the need to scoff, with his feet starting to shift on the floor.

He could see what Levi was trying to say, but there is one thing Erwin was standing firmly on that he still wasn't entirely trusting of Levi. The kind of approach Erwin was going for is dangerous, in the sense that his desperation to be let in and not wanting to be on the outside of someone's suffering that he cares for so much. It hurts.

As for Erwin, his view on Levi wasn't improving and he views the raven's approach as cold and not good enough for you. It was Levi's restraint and silence versus Erwin's action and push. Their ideologies clash.

Without stuttering, and with full confidence, Erwin rebutted. "I'm the only one on her side. That's why" Erwin said, crossing his arms in front of his body and staring down at the raven in front of him. But Levi immediately made it known how wrong he was. "Not the only one," Levi responded without hesitation, with certainty matching Erwin's stance and sensing his energy right back at him.

The tension in the room grew exponentially after that, because Levi's words were thick with the means of proving Erwin wrong. The blond wasn't the only one on your side in this whole thing, and if Levi didn't make it clear enough before, he would do it now.

And he'd continue to do it, so it was never in doubt. The two men didn't say anything for a couple of seconds, but then Levi inhaled sharply and put his hands on his hips, looking at the ground briefly before speaking.

"By the way, what do you even mean by that? Being on her side. What does that mean to you?" Levi said and Erwin stiffened, but he was able to mask his surprise quickly enough.

Erwin cleared his throat and his eyes narrowed with resolve, because he knows why Levi is asking him this, because he hasn't exactly been subtle about the way he interacts with you and this conversation must be making clearer than ever to your bodyguard how Erwin feels about you.

But he wasn't afraid to say it. He knows exactly where he stands, on how he feels and he'd leave no room for misunderstandings from here on out.

Erwin's eyes hardened, his jaw clenched and he straightened up as his body became rigid with authority. He let out a soft huff before he spoke up; "When I've known her for this long, I mean that when she's hurting, I'm hurting. When she's happy, I can't help but be happy too. She means too much to me to let her continue suffering. Sometimes I can't tell where I end and she begins," Erwin said, meaning every word, while Levi stared at him.

As if he hadn't made it obvious before, Levi suddenly wasn't sure if Erwin was just flat out telling him once and for all how he felt about you as some sort of warning that he won't give up on you, whether he was trying to disguise his feelings as this just being him protecting you for no other reason other than him having known you for so long and because he cares for you platonically, or if Levi had been wrong from the beginning about Erwin having the kind of feelings he thought he did for you. It was one of the three, and Levi racked his brain to figure it out.

Levi tilted his head to the side slightly and he squinted his eyes with suspicion. As clear as Erwin tried to be, to Levi, it still sounded very vague and up to interpretation. Levi was determined to know what lies behind his words.

"That's not what being on her side means. It's not what I asked. I think you mean something else entirely," Your bodyguard said, casually asking for a bit more clarity, and knowing Erwin's talking about how he feels about you and its not about what the conversation started as anymore.

By now, Levi has had the suspicion that Erwin wanted to be more than friends with you, and even if this conversation and what Erwin just said was more than a dead giveaway, he realized that the more he saw how the blond acts around you and the more he spoke about you, as if you put the stars in the sky.

And if Levi was being completely honest, the more he had to listen to it, the more he didn't know how to feel about that. He didn't like the feeling one bit.

All he knew is that knowing that someone was pining after you like that, someone you've known for years and knows you inside and out in a way that Levi couldn't possibly relate to after only a couple weeks of knowing you, was setting off something inside him he couldn't describe. Was it jealousy? No.

It can't be that. Can it? But even so, he wouldn't, and couldn't let that blind him right now. He's pushing it aside and focusing on what mattered, as hard as it was to ignore.

Though, in this moment, just the thought of it made the tension in his shoulders rise as they become tense, and his fists clenched and unclenched uncomfortably, and coincidentally, Erwin started to subconsciously mimic his movements. As if he had been caught in the act, even if he thought he really couldn't have been clearer already.

"I think we're getting off track here, Levi. I need you to tell me what she's hiding from me," Erwin said, not giving up on getting Levi's help. If there's one thing that Levi was coming to learn about Erwin very quickly is how determined he is and he doesn't take no for an answer, but Levi wasn't easily swayed.

Especially when he had you in the back of his head during this whole conversation. Levi respects your autonomy and right to make your choice on how to proceed, while Erwin seems to have strategy after strategy building behind his eyes even if they stem from the need to protect you.

Your sleepy and delirious words came rushing back to him a few nights ago when he was driving you back home. Words you probably don't even remember saying but that he'd take to the grave, or to eternity so to speak. That's more fitting. He's going to protect everything you've said to him in confidence, because he owes you that much.

He's not going to divulge anything you're not ready to say to anyone else, especially when you don't even remember telling Levi at all. As terrified as Levi had been not knowing if you'd live or die, he'd respect your boundaries, protect your secrets, because he didn't owe Erwin an explanation, and neither did you.

As persistent Erwin is, Levi can tell it's all coming from loyalty so deep that has been building up for years. Loyalty that Levi has begun to feel built up inside him and it was a feeling he doesn't want to let go of. Still, if he truly knows and understands you, he'd wait for you. Until you were ready. It's as simple as that. It wasn't that hard to understand.

Levi didn't need control like Erwin was making it sound like he needed. Even if now was a time to speed things up and not let your guard down, right now, in this moment, answers weren't needed. You just needed support, he wanted to be near you.

And when you asked for it, he'd be there over and over like he promised he would. Just like tonight. For now, that was more than enough, and when the time comes to face that psycho again, you and him would get through it together.

Levi took a step forward, with his voice lower but firmer than ever before. "Like I said. You're not the only one on her side in this. She's starting to mean a lot to me too. I could tell you everything. But I'm not turning my back on her like that," Levi said, steady and simple., standing just a few feet away from Erwin. It wasn't a threat, a warning, some sort of declaration of war or anything like that.

It was just the truth and while Levi wasn't ready to say those words to you directly, when he couldn't even name what he was feeling, he'd make sure Erwin knew too from this moment forward.

There was something undeniable that he didn't know what to call yet. A pull. A need to protect you aside from just any contract or agreement. But for now, his only comfort to himself is that he's doing this to fulfill his side of the deal.

The silence that followed after that as Erwin's facade fell was deafening. He didn't know what to say to that. It was a silence that, ironically, boomed in the room and was filled with unsaid truths coming to light, restrained emotions and the clashing of approaches to help someone both men care about.

It doesn't feel like either of them could win in this and this conversation only heightened friction that shouldn't have escalated in the first place.

It was ironic, because Levi was hoping that what he said would finally put some sense into Erwin so that you're not ambushed more than you've already been for one night, but he was wrong. He should've known.

Levi saw the way Erwin subtly looked past him, towards the slightly opened door and then back at the raven. He inhaled sharply and then exhaled deeply, putting his hands in his pockets as he rolled back his shoulders.

His baby blue eyes relaxed from their previous hardened and serious state. Levi watched Erwin's entire demeanor and nothing could have prepared him for what he'd hear next as the blond opened his mouth again.

"Well, I'd like to thank you for your help anyway, Levi. But," He started, but Levi raised an eyebrow suspiciously at the 'but' in his sentence as Erwin paused.

He began to fix the cuffs on his dress shirt and then took a couple steps away from Levi, clearly preparing to leave. There's a shift that crosses Erwin's face all of a sudden, with something wary and quiet. It almost made Levi's skin crawl. Almost.

There was a sudden gentleness and serenity behind Erwin's eyes that deeply unsettled Levi for some reason, and in a matter of seconds, he could tell that your childhood friend had a look in his eyes that said that there was something brewing behind them.

An idea. There was a flicker of hope in his eyes. A glint of resolve and confidence. A way that he can help and fix you in the only way he knows how to. Seeing that, Levi's hairs on the back of his neck stood up.

It was a realization that threw away everything the two men just talked about, throwing it all out the window in a second. Erwin cleared his throat and gave Levi a cordial and polite smile.

"If you'll excuse me, I'm afraid I'll have to take it from here," He said, calm, composed, and measured, suddenly walking past Levi and leaving the raven frozen on the spot, not knowing what to make of that.

But after a couple seconds, after hearing Erwin open the door and walk out, Levi came back to his senses but he still had no idea what the blond meant by that. But he wasn't about to stay in this room and not do anything about it. He'll be damned if he lets Erwin fuck things up with you even more.

-

While Levi and Erwin were talking in the guest room, you were pretty sure they thought you couldn't hear them, but you were able to catch certain things they said and you just knew you had to get out of there. Go somewhere else.

But not too far so that if they came out and didn't see you, they could still find you in the apartment. You just couldn't stay there and be reminded of what happened for another second.

They were talking about you, and you knew it. You needed some fresh air urgently, and the only place you could get that, was the last place you thought you'd be going back to for a while.

You still felt like you weren't in control of your own mind, like it was in a place far away. You didn't quite register where you were going the moment you stood up from the table until you wrapped your hand around the door knob and turned it, opening the door and soon enough, feeling of gentle breeze brushing against your face.

Your breath hitched the moment the wind brushed against your skin and as your hair lightly moved away from your face and you felt yourself halting in the doorway and looked out into the horizon beyond your balcony.

The place you thought you were certain would be the last one you ever stepped foot in for a very long time. But something brought you here and you didn't know why. Not yet, anyway.

After a couple seconds, your eyes flickered nervously as they darted towards the ground and you watched your own feet move forward past the doorway and further onto the balcony, closing the door behind you. You remained in place, feet close together as you looked around the space of your small terrace.

Your chest began to heavy lightly, up and down, and your breathing became audible as you looked around a space that looked as if no life-threatening events happened in it. Your head turned and you saw the small seating area you had out here.

A medium wicker couch pushed up against the window, a glass coffee table in front of it and other matching patio furniture surrounding it. There were also some tall and lengthy plants to adorn the area as well that you try to remember to take care of as much as you can.

Grisha instilled that habit in you and it's just stuck with you ever since. Even more after he died. It all looked so...normal. But this place was completely different to you now after tonight, and you don't know how long it'll be until it would go back to normal.

And after that, you moved your head forward again and that's when you felt your face fall even more and your throat dry up in a second. You lived in the top floor so you could see the expanse of the city, so many buildings, blinding lights, and the horizon of mountains that remained far past the outskirts.

But not only that, you could hear that sounds of cars honking, sirens, and the bustling sounds of any metropolitan city like this one. Despite how late it was at night, it sounded and looked like any other night. To everyone else at least.

You've only known it as a night of horror. It just felt like the world was moving without you and you were still frozen and lost. Your body became incredibly tense and you swallowed the lump in your throat preventing you from breathing properly and somehow, your body started to move forward, closer to the railing.

The very place that psycho was looking down at you from. You pursed your lips together and felt yourself start to tremble the closer and closer you got to it. It became harder to breathe.

You don't know how much of this you'd be able to take. You didn't know if it was because you wanted to see if it still hurt, how much of it still penetrated deep inside you after just a couple hours of the incident happening.

And once you got to the railing, stopping right in front of it, and you managed to actually look down at the abyss you were supposed to fall from, your eyes widened and the breathing you'd been trying to control suddenly started to quicken and you felt your chest tighten painfully at the traumatizing memories of what happened here.

You put both of your hands on the railing and leaned forward, gripping the metal with an indescribable force as you leaned forward and closed your eyes shut. Everything rushed in involuntarily; the impending sensation of death, the dread of seeing and hearing the cloth that was holding you up rip bit by bit, your own screams of horror and pleading, that man's sinister laugh, and everything else that you wished your mind would just block out already. You wanted it all gone.

Just looking down reminds you of where you could've ended up if Levi hadn't arrived there in time. And that's when you remembered Levi. And Erwin. You didn't want them to find you like this.

You let your head hang lower until your hair was falling on the sides of your face like a curtain and you lowered your hands to your knees, and then sat down on the ledge in front of the railing.

You moved your hand to clutch onto the space over your heart, over your clothes, all the while your chest continued to rise and fall. You had a feeling that Levi and Erwin would finish their talk soon and you needed to compose yourself by then, but it was so hard. You didn't know what possessed you to come out here but you were regretting every minute of it.

You raised your free hand to grip onto the railing above you, but then you let go of it once you were settled on the ledge and also let go of your chest to move both of your hands to cover your face as you put your elbows on your knees.

The moment you put your hands on your face, with the tips of yours fingers pressing against your forehead and our temple, you could quickly start to feel the metal of both of the rings on your fingers press against your face.

You were so caught up in wanting to get your emotions in order that you didn't hear the door to the balcony open, much less the door closing and the footsteps that followed after. But what you did feel was the presence of someone get closer, but it wasn't foreign. It was the presence of someone you know.

You could feel it without having to look up. You didn't take your hands away from your face, that was until you heard the voice of the person who had come out here to see if you were okay. "...You shouldn't be out here by yourself." The voice said, and having expected that to be the person in front of you, you slowly took your hands off your face and let them fall to your lap as you looked up.

Erwin was standing there with a gentle and caring eyes, looking down at you as he stood in front of you just a couple feet away. But you could also see the pain behind his baby blue eyes from having to have found you in the state that you're in.

Tired eyes, anguished expression and posture. Everything that told him he spent too much time trying to prove a point to Levi when he should've been out here with you. But now that he is, that he's certain of what he has to do, he won't let this chance slip away to be the person you need. The one you can rely on for anything.

His voice was calming, and low. But not cold. Not in the slightest. That hostility he had gotten from talking to Levi had seeped away from his body the moment he saw you. He wasn't scolding you for being out here, because as nervous as he'd become for not finding you in your apartment for a second, when he saw you out here, he could understand why.

He'd been afraid he'd gotten carried away with that conversation with Levi to the point he disregarded you, which is exactly what he'd been advocating for to Levi.

Erwin saw the way you quickly straightened up, brushed and combed your hair with your fingers to look presentable, and tried your best to smile up at him. But he didn't fall for it.

You were still hurting in every way possible and that you probably thought being out here would help, but it only made it worse. Now that he's here, he's sure that what he came here to do, the reason he rushed out of that room he was in with Levi, would be exactly what you needed. At least that's what felt logical in his head. He'd find out soon enough and he hoped that it was the right call.

"I know. I just...needed some air. Didn't know where else to find it," You murmured, voice barely audible as you began to fiddle with the fabric of your clothes over your knees. Your body was curling in on itself as if you were shielding yourself and fearing that Erwin would get more glimpses of the state to were in.

You were lying through your teeth, because the truth of it, is that you had no idea why you were out here. You just were and you couldn't explain yourself. You didn't expect Erwin to scold you or anything, but you also didn't want to be questioned because you wouldn't know how to answer.

You waited a couple seconds to hear Erwin speak, but all you could see is him smiling softly at you as he nodded. He was silent and had a long pause, but then he took a couple steps closer to you, slow and hesitant to not make a wrong move.

"And you decided to come out here?" He asked gently, still not accusing, but also wanting to know what your thought process was. To get inside your head and see what you were thinking about. What got you to step out here.

His whole goal about wanting to help in any way he could was still racing through his head and its all he could think about. He saw you look up at him again, and then scoff lightly as a chuckle escaped your lips and you began to fiddle with the rings on your fingers.

There may be many things that are jumbled in your head beyond recognition, but there is one thing that you were certain of that outshined everything else in your head.

One thing that you couldn't deny even if you tried to. You've been too careless with your life, thinking that it wouldn't get as bad as it did tonight, and now you were rethinking everything.

"I honestly don't know why I came out here. I can't give you a straight answer. I'm sorry," you answered truthfully, looking up at him again and watching as his eyebrows furrowed together. Why where you apologizing? You had nothing to apologize for.

Erwin was about to say those exact words to you, but then he saw you open your mouth again, even if nothing came out as you were silent for a couple seconds. But then you finally found your voice and Erwin bit back his own words so he could hear what you had to say.

"I just know that...I'm ashamed to admit that I took the idea of death too lightly. i thought I had everything under control. That I had it all figured out. That I was being cautious enough. I just didn't think it would actually-" You rambled as you raised your voice a couple volumes but then you cut yourself off and you realized you were opening to a can of worms you weren't quite sure you wanted to let out just yet.

But even so, just from what you said, Erwin knew exactly what you were trying to say. He knows what you mean and he can't pretend it doesn't hurt him too.

"I didn't think it would get this bad. That I would end up where I did," You ended up saying, feeling like you weren't at a place where you could elaborate any more than that. But you wanted to.

You wanted to tell someone all of the realizations that have been going on in your head back to back and have you questioning what's real and what's not.

So you'd do it. And it didn't matter to you if you ended up balling your eyes out in front of Erwin to the point you couldn't speak, but you just couldn't live like this anymore.

You needed to accept reality, because the way you were living before got you to the situation you were in tonight and you wanted none of that. Not anymore.

The shame you felt inside wasn't just from the horror you'd felt, but somehow, deep down, you thought you had done so much to stay cautious and prepared that it felt like a slap in the face to realize you weren't immune to any of it. It struck you.

"I.. I wasn't brave, Erwin. But I wanted to be. I really wanted to. I wanted to have hope, hold on and have faith someone would come. But I was just... so caught up with realizing that I didn't know what it was really like to die," You explained, looking back towards the ground while Erwin stared at you bewildered, not knowing what to say to that.

And maybe he didn't have to say anything to that. For now, all you needed was someone to listen and validate your thoughts you thought would be rejected the moment you said them out loud.

So he stayed silent and watched as you racked your brain to think of what words could best describe what you've been wanting to say. He didn't speak, he didn't reach out, and he let the silence stretch out instead.

But when he saw that you did, he saw you purse your lips, swallow hard and inhale shakily as you looked away from him. "I-It felt like everything I thought I knew wasn't true, and all that was left was me, completely alone, waiting for the inevitable to happen," You said as you couldn't control your voice from breaking mid-sentence and Erwin felt his heart clench the moment he heard your voice give out the way it did.

He fought every bone in his body telling him to go over and embrace you, to tell you everything is going to be okay, but he knows that's not what you want right now. All you want is to be heard and know someone is there to listen to it all.

So as much as it pained him, he continued to stay silent and watch as your eyes turned soft and pained, as if every memory of what happened was flashing right before your eyes.

"That guy was hovering over me from the moment I opened my eyes and I was hanging from the railing until the moment I was sure I'd fall and thought I'd never open them again," You said, forcing yourself to relive it all over again for what felt like the 10th time.

How much he enjoyed to see what was about to happen to you. As if you were nothing, and as if you were an obstacle he was giddy to see out of the way or a goal to be as happy as he was to finally fulfill in the most obscene and heartless way possible.

You really thought that was going to be it for you, and you were glad it wasn't, but now you had to live with the memory of it and the fear that it could happen all over again because that psycho was still out there.

And that's when a barrage of new things came crashing down on you, knowing that every single one of those attacks had all been by the same person with the ability to morph into whoever he desired. No one would bat an eye. You were in for it now.

You dropped your hands on your lap as your eyes started to gather heat behind them as you felt them get glassy. You looked up at Erwin who you saw physically flinch the moment he saw your expression and the dread behind them. He couldn't take it.

Seeing you crumble all over again was something he was never going to get used to, and he didn't want to. "Do you realize what this means Erwin? He could be anywhere. He's constantly changing his appearance. He could be the security guard at the company, an employee I talked to yesterday, or even someone I greeted on the street. And tomorrow? He could be out to get me again with a different face and i'll have no idea," You said as your voice got quieter, smaller, and more vulnerable with every word you said. You were in disbelief of your own words.

Things are really changing. You can't live life the way you used to and no matter how hard you try to get through this, it somehow gets worse every day and it feels like you've made no progress. "I can't thank you and Levi enough for being here tonight. I don't think I could've been alone tonight after that," You admitted all of a sudden, smiling softly, trying to steer away from the conclusions drawing up in your head that had your mind in a spiral.

Erwin nodded slowly as he stared down at you and a frown formed on his lips. He still didn't know half of how this situation came to be, but it was more than easy to see how this was all escalating at an alarming rate. He couldn't imagine himself having being anywhere else tonight.

Tonight made Erwin realize that even if he didn't know the whole story, he didn't need to know all of it to be sure that he wanted to be there for you in any way he could. He wants to take away your suffering and make sure that those tears in your eyes cease for good.

That is what he was sure of, more than anything. He'd help you fight back against Grisha and the family, he'd help you get the inheritance, and he knows he can take all of your pain away.

He just needs a chance. For that to happen, he needed you to know that ever since Grisha died, you haven't been fighting this battle alone. You had him. And as skeptical as Erwin still was, you had Levi too.

You had more support than Karina or Zeke have tried to convince you otherwise of. You were more deserving of happiness than anyone he's ever known, and he hopes, he really hopes, that what's he's about to say helps you take that step.

Erwin inhaled sharply but then he overcame the nerves plaguing his brain from deciding he was finally going to put his words out in the open. "Y/n," He started, and at the sound of his voice, you turned your head again and looked up at your friend.

Your eyes softened, despite the unshed tears in the brim of them. "Yeah?" You asked, tucking a stray hair behind your ear as Erwin was determined to maintain eye contact with you.

The way your entire demeanor melted with a gentle demeanor the moment you looked at him, it gave Erwin the courage to continue. To know that he was making the right choice by at least giving this a shot. He put his hands on his pockets and smiled.

"You don't have to go through this alone anymore," He said softly and you exhaled, as a sad smile tugged at your lips while your eyes remained glassy and tearful.

"I know. But when I was hanging from the railing, it sure felt like I was," You said, huffing out a chuckle as you moved one hand to rub up and down your arm. There was a silence after that as it stretched for a couple seconds while the weight of your words hung between the two of you.

Erwin heard your words and he was determined to make that change, or he'd give his damn best shot. He looked at you, truly looked at you.

And as it felt like he'd been stalling, after all the back and forth he'd gone through to know if this was the right call, he knew this wasn't something he could overthink anymore. It was now or never, right? He wasn't going to get another chance.

"Y/n," He repeated, his breath catching in his throat. He watched as you turned to him, and your eyebrows furrowed together when you saw the slight crease on his features.

Something was on his mind, you thought. His tone alone and change of demeanor from one second to another confused you, but you simply hummed and gave him the go-ahead to continue.

Erwin's eyes hardened with resolve and in one swift movement, he slowly lowered himself down on one knee in front of you and extended his hand out to you. You watched his movements carefully and your eyebrows furrowed with confusion.

Your eyes widened a fraction as you tried to figure out where this was going, while Erwin looked into your eyes with nothing but determination.

"Marry me," He said, at last. But after that, the words hung in the air as if there was a sudden shift in gravity.

Your hands stilled on your lap, your mouth went agape, your eyes widened, your entire body froze and your breath got caught in your throat. What did he just say? You blinked, slowly, and wondered if you misheard him. After what happened tonight, it wouldn't surprise you if you were being delirious and your mind was frayed beyond repair.

Was your brain conjuring delusions as some cruel trick on you? Were you hearing things? Have you finally lost it? But the moment you made eye contact with Erwin, and looked into his blue eyes, you noticed he wasn't smiling anymore. This wasn't some ruse to distract or console you in any way.

There was no teasing glint in his eye that suggested that he was messing with you, which would be pretty messed up, and there was no softness in his gaze or warmth. Only seriousness, sincerity and the unwavering hue of his eyes that somehow made you think you must be dreaming.

You couldn't have heard him right. Was this real? Why was he doing this? Is he only asking because Levi rejected you at the memorial? Is it because you nearly died and he felt sorry for you? Is that it?

You opened your mouth but nothing came out at first. Your heart stuttered, skipped a beat. The words struck you like the echo of a gunshot; loud, impossible to ignore and reverberating through your chest.

All you could muster was; "W-What?" You said as your voice barely scraped past your throat, almost lost in the quiet hum of the city behind you that was still bustling, almost mirroring the shock your brain is going through.

Erwin sighed, realizing he must've sounded a little too forward, but he'd make it better. He hoped your shock will melt away, for the most part, once he starts explaining why he's doing this in the first place.

If the condition to get the inheritance was to get married, he'd do that for you. Your search could be over. If what you needed was protection, he'd do that for you too if needed. He'd do anything for you.

You were still a bit shell-shocked, and it didn't help like Erwin thought it was that he started to explain himself. It was too much to process. "I'm serious. I meant what I said. You don't have to go through this alone," Erwin said, taking a chance and reaching over with his hand to grab onto one of yours and cradling it with his securely.

You didn't have the capacity or strength to pull away, to protest, or anything, and another part wasn't sure if you wanted to. He wanted to show you how much he meant it without being overbearing, but he supposes he failed at that.

He sighed and dropped your hands from his hold and let his forearm hang over his knee instead. He was trying to have his presence be what grounded you, but your mind was anything but that.

Once you came back to your senses, there was only one thing that came to mind as to why he could've been doing this. It's the only logical explanation to you.

You stared at him as you quickly began to shake your head. "Erwin...if you're doing this out of pity, I don't-" You said, raising your hands up in defense. You don't want him to do this, tie himself to you, just because he knows of the situation you're in. it didn't feel fair to him.

This situation was getting out of hand and the last thing you wanted was for him to jump into something he'd regret. You couldn't say anything else as your thoughts collided and overlapped together.

But he could sense your doubt and he was quick to cut you off, raising one of his hands up in protest. "I'm not, I promise," He interrupted you, but it was gentle at firm. He can imagine how confused you are, he just dropped a bomb on you. He needed to walk and talk you through this.

"I promise this isn't about pity. This isn't about tonight either, at least not entirely. This about everything. Everything that I've seen happened to you, everything you'e going through, and how I refuse to watch you keep doing it on your own. I don't want you to carry this weight by yourself when you don't have to. You don't deserve to be treated like you're disposable either," He explained, and your throat closed up. Disposable. No one had ever put it like that before. The word echoed, hitting a raw nerve you didn't know was still exposed.

What did he mean by that? Was he referring to you nearly being killed tonight as if you were disposable, or did he mean something else? Like Levi rejecting you in a second at the memorial?

Or were you reaching? Did Erwin still hold some kind of grudge for that? You looked at Erwin, and all you could see was conviction. He was right. It wasn't pity, but conviction. And resolve.

You stared at Erwin with wide eyes, still tear-ridden and bloodshot. Seeing that you weren't saying anything, Erwin sighed and scooted closer to you, and continued to explain. Despite his feelings for you, this proposal didn't have to be about feelings if you didn't want to and didn't feel the same.

He's doing this for your sake, so you can feel like you truly have an ally and never forget that. "I know how sudden this might sound," He continued, as his voice dipped a little, but his eyes never strayed from you. "I also know how unfair it must be for me to ask you this right now. It's not the best timing. But I've been thinking about it for a while and I think it could work. I just never got a chance to say it and after tonight, I knew I had to ask you. Knowing what could've happened tonight made me realize that. You know you matter to me more than anyone else, Y/n. You always have. I want to do this for you," Erwin said, realizing this sounded more like a confession than anything else and he already knows this wasn't about that, but somehow along the way, his feelings mingled with his words. He hoped you don't look too much into that, because it didn't matter right now.

You wanted to speak. You wanted to say something. But nothing came out. You agree it was bad timing because of tonight but you also get that there was no time like the present to start thinking of a new plan to fight this.

You just didn't think it would be so soon. Of all people, you didn't think Erwin would be the one to ask you this, especially after the fiasco at the memorial. What would you possibly say to a man that was offering to anchor himself to your entire world when all there is to your world is chaos?

Did he really want that? You were still trying to come to terms with the fact that you survived this whole thing, but you knew you couldn't wait another second to start thinking about the future either.

Now more than ever. He says he wants to help you secure your inheritance and fight back, and because he cares, but you wished he knows what he's getting himself into. But by the looks of it? By the way he's looking at you? You wanted to believe that he truly knows what he's saying.

After Levi rejected you and you resigned yourself to be married to Oluo, you thought that you had no other options, but now Erwin, a man you've known since you can remember was giving you something familiar. Something comfortable.

Something you know. You barely survived tonight and what Erwin was offering you, you weren't sure if it gave you hope or if it terrified you to your very core. Maybe it was both. You don't know.

Erwin didn't want you to say yes just because of the vulnerable situation you're in, but because you think it through carefully and are able to make a sound choice. You didn't have to agree right away if you didn't want to. He hoped you knew that.

"I can help you win this thing, y/n. We can get through it together. This isn't just to make sure you get the inheritance. But we'll work to get your freedom back, your peace, your life back. But I need to know if you'll let me," Erwin said, and waited as you opened your mouth and no words were able to come out.

His words were very sweet, and you know why he's doing this, and you would prefer to do this alongside someone you knew instead of Oluo who you felt like you were forced to marry because you had no other choices. Now Erwin was giving you a choice.

And as many seconds passed by, you exhaled, closed your eyes, opened them back up. Ever since Levi rejected you, he's told you to find someone who wants to marry you, and when you do and ask Oluo, he tells you to find someone who isn't a sleazebag, and now you have.

Erwin fits all of that criteria. You were about to answer him, and not because you felt like you had to, but because you finally felt like you had an option. Someone who wanted to marry you and wanted to help you, not because they wanted to social climb or did it for personal gain. But because they cared. Erwin is someone who cared, right?

If he was ready, then so were you. Erwin was right. This could work, right? This was your lifelong friend. He'd offer security, strategy, compassion, understanding. He's seen the worst sides of you over the years, including today. This was the safer path, and if there was anyone who would help you navigate this path ahead, it was him. Right?

But the moment you were about to agree, the sound of the balcony door open and both you and Erwin turned your heads at the low squeak of the door hinges.

When you turned and saw who was walking onto the balcony, you felt your heart fall to your stomach. Levi was standing in the doorway, staring right at you.

The moment Levi's eyes briefly flickered to Erwin, they hardened, but then he turned to you and his gaze softened instantly. He didn't look away. He didn't blink. His gunmetal eyes were piercing through you as he walked further onto the balcony, and his stature was as if it was carved from a shadow and flame.

You felt air leave your lungs the closer he got, with this inevitable pull you felt towards him whenever he walked onto the room. The light glow from your apartment's lights behind him gave him an almost too unreal appearance.

You couldn't tell what was going on in his head, because as usual, his face didn't give too much away. But his eyes? God...his eyes. You never got tired of looking at them. You've felt closer to Levi than you've ever have since you met and with that came the realization that you never got tired of looking into his eyes either.

Behind them was something fierce. Something you could also see behind Erwin's eyes as he asked you to marry him. As he stopped just behind Erwin and looked down at you, you realized something: He heard all of it. Everything that Erwin said to you.

Your heart was hammering against your chest and it felt like your ribs were failing at doing their job to keep it in place. Erwin turned to look back at you and noticed your eyes were locked on Levi.

Just from that, the blond already knew he'd lost his case. The way your breath was shortening just from seeing Levi walk into the balcony a couple feet away, the way your eyes held an emotion you've never looked at Erwin with but were looking at Levi with so intently.

He knows that his chances have slimmed tremendously, but that didn't mean he'd give up. Erwin rose to his feet and took a couple steps back until he was side by side to your bodyguard.

The weight of your decision changed in a matter of seconds, and all it took was for Levi to extend his hand out to you as well, just like Erwin had done to you before.

You waited for either of the men to say something because you couldn't form any coherent thought about what was happening or what you were supposed to say. But then? It was Levi's turn to turn your whole world upside down with just three words. That's all it took.

"Marry me instead," He said, quiet, razor sharp, but his message was loud and clear. The world dropped from under you.

Erwin's eyes closed shut as he swallowed. He should've expected Levi would do something like this. What was he trying to do? Confuse you even more? Toy with you? If so, it wasn't funny.

You were already lost enough and you've been through too much. Unless...he really means it. Could that really be the case? If so, Erwin knows he's going to have to fight even harder to be back into your life.

The silence that followed after Levi asked that was staggering. It had weight to it, more than you could handle. Erwin's eyes were glued to Levi with a dangerous glare that Levi didn't pay any mind to.

On the other hand, Levi didn't move, because he didn't need to. His words were out there and all you needed to do was give the men your answer, whenever that might be. They were both willing to wait as long as it took.

You stared at Levi. This was the same man that rejected you in front of your entire family at Grisha's memorial, the one who told you to find someone else to marry, the one who didn't approve of the man you chose, and the one who was now in front of you; proposing.

He was staring at you as if you hung the moon and lit the sun. The man who earlier that night, had told you he'd been looking for opportunity to end the agreement and thought all of his problems rooted from you.

But even so, he's also the man who moved everyone and anything in his path to make you were still sitting here, breathing, and alive. What pushed him past his fear of marriage? What made him change his mind? Did he actually change is mind or is he doing this for your sake?

Levi Ackerman; the man who once walked away from you, was no standing in front of you asking you to choose him. To trust that he was the right choice. Not just for protection. Not just for the agreement. Not just for strategy.

But because he couldn't stand the fact that he isn't the one standing by your side to fight until the end. You were truly terrified. He was volatile, complicated, dangerous, unpredictable, unruly. But he was standing here. You didn't want to have to choose. You don't know how it came to this.

Did you involuntarily cause this? You didn't want to choose wrong either and causing more hurt on people you care about. This about who you'd walk into battle with. And not just that, but who you'd stand at the altar with, who you'd fall asleep next to at night while worrying for your survival. Who you'd hopefully get your life back with.

Both men had their hands extended out to you, their proposals had been said and you truly couldn't understand what had Levi come to the conclusion of doing this when all he's ever done is tell you that he refuses to get married.

Your heart was pounding and your skin was starting to burn as you looked at Levi intently, trying to see his motives for doing this just by trying to decipher what was going behind those intoxicating grey eyes. There were two men, two proposals, with two completely different intentions yet similar at the same time; and now you were caught in the middle.

You didn't know what to do. You were battered, bruised, bleeding, exhausted and this is the last situation you wanted to find yourself in right now. You couldn't speak.

You could only sit there, torn between what was comfortable and what was reckless. It feels like the weight of everything was crashing down on you and it wouldn't be lifted until you made a choice. A choice that would dictate how everything would play out.

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Hello! I have been MIA for the last couple of weeks and I'm so sorry- I had the longest writer's block I've had for a while, but I'm hoping that these two updates make up for my absence :,) I hope you guys enjoyed these two chapters and Im really excited for the upcoming ones! I know the last scene must've really felt like the ultimate 'y/n moment' lmao but I swear this will all come together and its happening for a reason!

Currently, I'm starting a new semester at uni and I'm still getting used to my new schedule, so that means all finding new times to write, so bare with me! I think I'm finally getting the hang of it, so weekly updates will be coming back! I hope you guys are enjoying the story so far and that you're looking forward to what's coming as much as I am! <3

Anyways, I don't have anything else to say besides that so, as always, I hope to see you guys next week with another update! And, as always, I love you all so much and thank you for reading! Have a good week! XO
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