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Levi didn't know where he was going, but he just knew that he had to keep going. He walked by himself aimlessly along the streets of the city, and he quickly realized that as long as his feet carried him far from where he'd left you, it didn't matter where he ended up.

He didn't even take the car; he'd given you the car keys back when he transported the two of you to the bar. And a cab? That was out of the question. He couldn't do that to himself right now. This is burning through him.

Sitting still would mean thinking, and thinking was the last thing he could afford to do right now or he'd go completely insane.

But what he hadn't accounted for yet—what was slowly starting to dawn on him with every step—was the no matter how far he walked, no matter how fast he moved, no matter how intently he tried to get as far away from you as possible, the guilt, the regret, the mess inside of him still followed everywhere he went.

It was like a wildfire. Spreading, devouring, consuming. It was inescapable and he came to the conclusion that he was helpless.

And that's when it truly hit him. What the hell had he just done? The image of your face, the way your eyes shimmered with unshed tears just threatening to spill, the lifeless and dull edge in your voice, the way you look at him like he was a complete stranger—he couldn't get it out of his head.

It broke something inside of him he didn't know could break. Something that he'd been fighting to keep locked away. How could he say those things to you?

He hated every minute of it but he did it anyway because he's come to a point where he feels like everything he's done is no longer backed up with an explanation. He doesn't know what he's doing.

And all of it—every ounce of that hurt that he caused you because a rogue part of his conscience keeps trying to convince him that pushing you away was the solution— was all his fault.

It was because he didn't know how to feel with what you've been making him feel with no fault of your own, and he lashed out. You've been nothing but understanding, patient, and willing to compromise despite your own pain and it kills him that he can't do the same no matter how hard he tries to reciprocate.

Every glance, every word, every second that he spent in your presence chipped away at the walls he couldn't keep holding up anymore.

He didn't know how to stop it either, and it this point, he didn't know if he should continue to let himself suffer, embrace it, and figure out a way to stop his own demise while fighting his feelings for you, or simply try to continue pushing everything out until it got easier.

He didn't know what he wanted anymore and his own choices were coming back to bite him in the ass. He truly didn't know if there was a way to come back from this with you.

Out of everything that's happened between the two of you, when you btoh have been able to find your way back to each other despite the hardship, this in particular feels like it will have nothing but a dead end with no recovery.

You let him go, he wasn't your bodyguard anymore. And it felt real this time. He couldn't handle that. He didn't know that he enjoyed being your bodyguard as much as he did because he enjoyed being by your side every day.

And now he ruined it, possibly forever. He's never allowed himself to want things, because he always knew he had a job to do and his needs came after, but now that he lost the one thing he didn't know he needed so badly, it's already gone and it's far beyond repair in his eyes.

He's not sure when it stopped being just about protecting you and fulfilling his part of the agreement, but he knows that when it did, he didn't hate it. It became normal.

He didn't know how much he needed that job to be part of his life until you ended it like you did. And he didn't blame you did. A part of him wonders why you didn't do it sooner with the way he's treated you lately.

He didn't deserve your kindness and your understanding and now that he's the one that walked away, he doesn't even know if there's a chance for things to go back to how they were, if there was a chance he could see you again, and if he would have to start looking for an alternative to hold out until his powers came back.

But honestly, right now, that was the least of his worries. His tattoo was one of the last things on his mind in that moment and one of the first was how things were going to be from now on.

He should be panicking over not having close control over his tattoo anymore, right? Then why isn't he? That tattoo and his powers is what he bent over backwards to try and be closer to but now, the overwhelming feeling of finally, fully feeling something so human was terrifying him.

Short circuiting his brain. That was the whole point he was your bodyguard, right? But all that's occupying his thoughts is you, you, and more of you. He couldn't take it. Is he every going to see you again? Find an excuse to be closer to you?

Was all of that gone? Were those all things he didn't know he loved so much that there was no way to get it back? Is any of that something he truly wanted back and fight for? He had no idea and he also had no idea just how long he'll be able to go on like this. Does he even have the right to want any of this, let alone try to fix it?

But if Levi knew how you were handling this, it would make him feel 10 times worse. You were still back at the bar, and you didn't know how much time passed as you cried in that room before there were none left anymore. Once your tears dried and you could do nothing about the tear stains on your cheeks, you finally got your feet to move.

It felt like you had been moving in autopilot the entire way out the establishment. Your movements were sluggish, you stumbled a couple times, but once you finally made it out the door, you immediately put a hand on the rail next to the stairs outside.

You didn't know how much lack of balance you had until you gripped the metal with such dependency and instability. You felt like you were forcing and dragging yourself to take a simple step forward. The moment Levi walked out on you, your entire world tilted and crashed.

And you didn't even seem to have it in you to continue making your way down those stairs, because just as you had only a couple ones left, you sighed and involuntarily fell back to sit on the tread of the staircase step behind you as you shakily continued to grip on the metal rail.

You felt like you had no energy, no life, no will in your body anymore. Your shoulders rose and fell as your body forced you to take long and uneven breaths while your head hung low and you swallowed that annoying and sudden lump in your throat that didn't allow you to forget the situation you're in, when you're actively just trying to forget. To process this. It felt visceral. You were practically shutting down and it was exhausting.

Your fingers tightened around the cold metal railing, and that was when something crashed down on your attempts to clear your head. Your nose picked up a smell. Levi's smell. And it made chills suddenly run up and down your spine as you tried to trace where it was coming from. He was gone.

Where was that coming from? You sniffed the air for a couple seconds and then you realized. You looked down at your sleeve, where he'd left his mark earlier from holding with such tenacity.

You tentatively raised your wrist up, ignoring the sight of his tattoo that was still blinding you, and took a sniff. That's when his scent suddenly hit you in full force and your entire body went still and your eyes went wide.

It was faint, but it was there. The way that the smell of cedar, rain, tea, mixed with the feeling of the night air brushing against you. It was clinging to your clothes, your skin.

And you didn't even know much time has passed since he left, but suddenly just smelling those scents again that you took for granted made it feel like memories you weren't allowed to go back to were rushing all back to you.

Painfully so. You weren't ready for everything that came with it, reminding you of how you got here. It was the first time you felt something for him, and not necessarily romantic, but just something.

The first time that you met him in that restaurant and you thought you'd never see him again after that. But then it unraveled into that moment that the psycho that's after you first tried to kill you in that cab and Levi appeared in that highway as the light in one of the scariest of your life, not knowing he was a supernatural being that would flip your life around.

In that moment, you didn't know who was after you or why, from that moment on you knew you were in danger and he was the only one that by some miracle managed to get to you. You knew he'd be a constant in your life.

Then the memory of the two of you falling into the river once the psycho tried to run you both over, and then consequently what started this whole thing, when his tattoo transferred from his wrist to yours when you tried to save him and take him with you to the surface.

You didn't know it back then how dependent you'd be for his tattoo and powers to protect you. Then the memory of the two of you waking up in that beach and finding out that Levi had taken you both there.

At first you'd wondered how he managed that, saving both of you from drowning, but then it clicked when he revealed his identity to you. It was one of the most confusing moments in your life.

This whole agreement started because you suggested that him being your bodyguard was the only way for both of you to get what you want with no strings attached, but that's why you didn't mind how cold and disinterested Levi was at first.

The way he did anything to not have to spend too much time with you unless it was absolutely necessary since he didn't want to get used to your presence, and somehow along the way, according to him, you managed to delude yourself into thinking there was something changing.

But there wasn't. And you keep kicking yourself for that. Did you manage to lead both of you here because you tried to take a step he wasn't ready for? Even proposing to him at the memorial? You knew that was too much the moment you two left and that might have scared him off too. You hated yourself for thinking at some point that maybe it might've been...fate.

Even if you tried to make up for it immediately, doing exactly what he asked of you and tried to distance yourself to keep things professional, the guilt of somehow imagining that distance beginning to shrink, that maybe his eyes would linger on you for a little longer than usual when he thought you weren't looking, and even the night Grisha died and took you back to your apartment and tucked you in when you felt no will to move your body on your own anymore.

He was there to hold you up and it was just a simple gesture, and it might've been you that mistook it for something else. You truly thought that was what he wanted and you don't know anymore. You two were never on the same page after all and it hurt.

You thought that the moment he started to let you see emotions, parts of him that were foreign to him for the first time, was the moment that you thought your relationship was blossoming into something different. Something sweet.

All of those moments, every single one, that you wished you could forget now that he walked out, but you can't. You should have known that the moment that silence started to grown between the two of you that things would only go downhill from there and it wouldn't solve things like you both hoped.

You can't shake the look in his eyes when you told him you were letting him go, when he pulled away before things go too close. The things he said to you tonight. His final, hard, soulless, glance at you? It was too much and your brain could barely handle it.

You weren't the only one recalling everything that's transpired between the two of you. Levi was too. But in a slightly different spectrum. While you were seeing this whole thing having started with meeting in that restaurant, it was a little different for Levi.

He started to think about the fact that to him, he wasn't tracing it back that far, and the moment he started to see you differently was not that long ago and that it was the moment his entire being started to spiral with unfamiliarity with nothing to explain it and not knowing how to explain it. It was not that long and it's still managed to unravel him this way. How could he allow it?

That night that he danced with you, held you in a proximity he never had before but somehow felt so right at the same time, looked into your eyes so deeply, feel his heart race in a way that felt like it would beat out of his chest just by feeling you against him, and knowing that's the moment he realized you were changing him.

Was that the first time he allowed himself to finally...feel? Or rather you'd already changed him a way nobody had before in 200 years of his life. He'd even told you before he didn't understand why humans tend to romanticize unnecessary and inefficient emotions.

But back then he didn't realize you'd eventually he'd begin to feel the most human of all emotions. He still wasn't even sure he could say it out loud, but the word floated around in his head without his permission. It felt forbidden to even say it out loud or think of it, even.

And once the word rang in his head, once was enough for him to stop in his tracks on the sidewalks and let out a huff as he put his hands on hips and hang his low as the realization dawned on him. That's the first time he's ever truly acknowledged it.

Fuck, he was in trouble. More than he was already. He closed his eyes and raised a hand to run it back through his hair, gripping the ends with pent up frustration. At what point had he been too deep into this that he didn't even realize it?

Before fighting those thugs, had there been signs he missed? Was that point too late to reverse it? Did he want to reverse it? He kept thinking back at moments with you that have stuck with him in ways that he couldn't explain why but they have.

He witnessed your entire world falling apart when you and him found Grisha dead, and he hated that a part of his brain made him remember your gut-wrenching wailing that managed to strike a cord in him that he still managed to recall it and make his blood run cold. And one thing that has managed to stay with him more than the rest is just...you. Simply, you.

You are so fierce, compassionate, loyal to your morals, so set on what you want, what you like and don't like and don't let anyone tell you different, kind, genuine, and every positive aspect there is in the book. But at the same time you want to make others around you happy. And don't even get him started on your smiles. He thinks it could end wars.

He doesn't think there's anyone that he's met that's quite like you and he might've been more intimidated than he'd like to admit. Someone with your character is so hard to come by and he single-handedly let it go as it was nothing.

He remembers you standing so firm on not continuing the agreement once when you witnessed him making that deal with the mother and her daughter, refusing to be a part of anything that had to do with what came with his powers.

After that, from just one afternoon of not being with each other when you both needed each other, Levi for the first time had done something he's never done before and took the first step promising you that he'd do things on your terms.

He's lost count on how many times he's broken that but either way, you stayed with him despite that and gave him countless chances he didn't deserve. Chances he took for granted.

And now? What he regrets the most is what he said to you just now. Saying his life was perfect until he met you, that it's been nothing but a mess since you came into it. But that wasn't him talking. It was the old him. It was lies. All lies.

And then when he let all of that he expelled those old thoughts, it was having to hear that you think you make him unhappy that shattered something inside him and it knocked the breath out of his body.

Sure, his life was the same routine of making deals and reaping the rewards afterwards, but until he met you, he didn't realize how boring and repetitive that was.

Days with you have been exciting, thrilling, brighter, and now they felt like distant memories he wouldn't be able to go back to unless he did some serious damage control. He still wanted to go back to his old life, but with you in it. And as late as he was to realize that, he knew it was too late now.

You were right when you said you were human, with emotions, with valid thoughts and opinions, and just a tool and a charger for a benefit and he mistook the agreement both of you had for that.

He couldn't stop thinking about him saying he'd be just fine with you, but just walking out of that bar without you felt wrong in so many ways. He didn't mean any of it, he truly didn't and he had half a mind to run back and tell you that. But his feet were stuck in place on sidewalk. He couldn't bring himself to turn back.

Once those memories stopped replaying in your head by some memories, reality set in on you and put your elbows on your knees and put your head in your hands. You ran your hands back on your hair until your hands landed on your neck and you let out a breath, full of defeat.

You tilted your head down and closed your eyes. You eventually knew that you had to go home but you just needed a few minutes to gather yourself. You saw your car was still parked outside the bar and you remembered you still had your key in your pocket, but you knew you were too unstable to go home alone. You needed a moment until you knew you were 'okay' enough to do that. you couldn't stay on this staircase the entire night, could you?

But just when you thought that you'd have to go home all by yourself, your eyes opened when you heard a car door open and close on your right, followed by the sound of hurried footsteps. The sound of heels to be exact.

You slowly raised your head and when you did, your breath caught in your throat at what was in front of you. You smiled weakly at the sight of none other than Hange standing in front of you with concern and worry etched across their features as they witnessed the state they found you in.

They were standing just a couple feet away from you but it was enough for you to feel like tears were starting to prick at your eyes all over again.

Hange was here. You weren't alone anymore. You had somebody to fall on and that would gladly pick up the pieces that you couldn't possibly pick up on your own right now.

Just having someone familiar in front of you like this reminded you that, despite things ending with Levi so abruptly, and feeling like the presence you'd grown so used to was suddenly ripped away from you, that it didn't mean you didn't have people to rely on.

Before Levi ever came into the picture, Hange had been there, day in and day out, always by your side, and they have never let you down. And even if you'd been spending a lot more time with Levi recently, even if you didn't know how they found you here, you were glad that their loyalty to you never faded once.

Right now, they were your lifeline, your light in the dark. And that was enough to send strength rushing through your body, just enough to help you rise from the stairs while Hange watched your every move with caution.

"Y/n? What are you doing out here all by yourself? It's late," They said, their voice careful as they watched you sluggishly descend the last few steps. But then, they noticed something shift in you.

You started picking up speed, your heels faltering slightly with each step. Hange could see clear as day how unstable you were, but it wasn't just your body that was fighting to stay upright.

They saw it all: the crease in your brow, the way your lips pressed tightly together, the defeated look in your features. You were holding yourself together by nothing but a thread and it was about to come undone.

You got closer, closer, with your heels clacking unevenly against the pavement, a storm behind your eyes that was barely held back. Hange opened and extended their arms to you, bracing themselves as they sensed what was coming their way.

The closer you got, the more they noticed how troubled, broken, and distressed your facial features were. "I went to your apartment but you weren't there, so I checked your location and took a cab-" They started, but they never got to finish their sentence after all.

Before they could register it, you crashed into them like a wave. Even though they tried to prepare for it, Hange stumbled back under the force of your embrace. You wrapped your arms around them like an anchor, your face buried deep in your shoulder, keeping your eyes shut.

Your grip was desperate, tight, as you clung to them. Hange immediately wrapped their arms around you, not wasting a second to reciprocate and alarms went off in their head when they felt your body start to tremble. You clung to them like your life depended on it.

And they could feel it, even if they don't know what caused it or how you ended up like this; all the pain, the tension, the quiet and a shaking plea that no words were needed to convey. Don't let me fall apart, I need you here with me; is so clearly what you were trying to tell them. You were crying out for help to Hange, silently and devastatingly.

Hange moved one hand from around your back and put it on the back of your head, stroking your head comfortingly. They were trying to remain as stable as they could, for your sake, but the more they physically felt you fall apart, the harder it became to mask the way their heart was clenching painfully for you.

"Oh, honey. What's wrong? Did something happen?" They asked, in a loving, sweet, and understanding voice that they hoped would help soothe you, but it did the opposite. Just hearing how immediately supportive Hange was being, the gates of your turmoil were becoming harder to keep closed.

You fought to keep your breathing from becoming less erratic than it already was, and your arms tightened around Hange. You could see tears starting to blur your vision and you tried to blink them away, but no matter what you tried to do, there were a few that escaped and trailed down your cheeks.

"I want to go home. Please..." You whispered, not trusting your voice to go any higher than that. But from those five words alone, Hange heard clearly how weak, exhausted, and defeated you sounded. They don't know what happened that left you in this state, but whenever you were ready to talk, they'd be there.

Hange swallowed hard and nodded silently, leaning their head against yours as they continued to stroke your hair. They wanted nothing more than to get you somewhere safe, somewhere you'd be more comfortable, where you could finally leave this day behind.

And what better place to do all of that than your own home? Your safe space. "Of course. Come on," They said gently, coaxing you with a soft pat on your back, but still reminding you to take your time.

It took you a couple seconds to pull away from the hug. You didn't want Hange to see your tear-stained face—but deep down, you knew they would never, ever judge you for it.

Hange only wanted to be there for you, in every way they possibly could. Whatever you needed, they would do it—no questions, no judgement. Only the quiet compassion and unwavering support you needed to make it through, even if they still didn't know what caused it in the first place.

Hange had to use every fiber of their being to pretend like their heart didn't break to pieces at the sight of the tear streaks on your cheeks, your red-tinted eyes, and the resignation in your features. how you looked like you'd completely given up.

You tried to hide your face from them at first, but when they finally got a glimpse of your face, their shoulders deflated and their face fell along with the rest of their limbs in unison.

All they could do was smile gently and raise a hand to slip it on your cheek, using their thumb to wipe away the tear streaks on your face. You didn't say anything, but the way you leaned ever so slightly into their hand said enough.

"Do you have the keys? I saw your car over there," Hange asked, gesturing with their head over to where the car was parked, moving their hand from your cheek, down to your shoulder, squeezing comfortingly.

You nodded and reached your back pocket of your pants where you'd hurriedly slipped in your keys after Levi gave them to you. "Yeah, here," You muttered, your voice breaking a bit in the process as you fought to keep your voice neutral, in a voice that was barely above a whisper and was loud enough for Hange to hear. No energy behind it at all. For your assistant, it was getting harder and harder to witness you like this.

You extended your hand out to your assistant with your keys in the palm of your hand. They quickly took them from you and the tenderness and comfort in their expression didn't fade.

They moved their hand from your shoulder over to the small of your back and started to guide you over to the car with them, keeping up with your pace and making sure not to rush you.

Even if it was late at night, there was no rush to get you home and Hange wanted you to know that you had all the time in the world to gather yourself. Pushing you and rushing you for something you weren't ready for is the last thing you needed. It would only break you further.

The drive home was quiet. It wasn't necessary uncomfortable, but it wasn't comfortable either. It was the kind of silence that filled the air of the car because you preferred and refused not to talk, and Hange respected that. In a way, that was the only comforting part of it.

Hange didn't say anything as they opened the passenger seat for you, helped you slip inside, and then they went over to their side to open the door to driver's seat.

When they slipped inside and closed the door next to them, they noticed that you had already put your seatbelt on and you were just looking out the window, waiting for your assistant to pull out of the parking lot.

Hange didn't say anything as they turned on the car, pressing the button next to the wheel, put on their own seatbelt, switched gears, and then finally started to pull out of the parking lot with their hands steady on the wheel.

As Hange drove you back home, their eyes kept flickering over to you occasionally to check on how you were doing. When they did, they saw you closed your eyes and crossed your arms over your body, but they could tell that by your breathing, you were still awake so you were just resting your eyes.

It gave Hange a bit of peace of mind just seeing that. You weren't showing any signs you were going to cry again, so that was a good sign. They didn't need to ask anything, they didn't need to say anything, so they wouldn't.

At least not yet. You seem to finally been able to get your body to let you rest the way you deserved and not let your thoughts trouble any more than they already have. It made Hange happy.

You may not be completely over what may happened to you, but just being able to get to the state you are now was a really good sign. They had no idea what was going on in your head, but at the very least, visibly you looked at peace.

As you sat in the passenger seat, curled in on yourself with your arms folded over your chest, you were nearly lulled to sleep by the hum of the engine, the whizzing sounds of cars passing by and the occasional sensation you could feel behind your closed eyelids of passing headlights.

Hange was right on the money of not being able to have gotten rid of everything that was coursing through your head, but at least the sudden sensation of your mind doing you a favor and letting your mind go blank, even if it was just for a few minutes, was a blessing. You took advantage of it.

A part of you thinks that you were able to clear your head the way you did because of the fact that you've truly started to accept that this is the way things are, and there's nothing you can do about it.

You can't beg Levi to stay if he didn't want to and if he realized this wasn't working for him anymore, then...that's that. You'll continue to move forward. You've been trying to do that this entire time, so you can continue to do it, can't you? Even if it still hurt, deep in your heart. It will lessen over time until you can barely feel it. You've learned that the hard way.

Every time you remember that all of this was just out of your hands now, each realization felt like they pulsed like a heartbeat, it rang in your ears as a reminder and you could feel it against your chest.

With each one, it became easier to let your mind settle for the first time in what felt like hours. A part of you wondered if maybe you'd accepted all of this too fast, but then you pointed out to yourself that maybe you had resigned yourself to reality a long time ago, and once it actually came true and your fears were no longer just a fantasy in your head, it didn't take long for you to eventually come to terms with it too. That might be it. Or it might not. It didn't mean you weren't still trying to wrap your head around it.

But all you knew is that you refused to stay stuck in place, refusing to make progress when there was still so much on the line and so much to do still. Your duties haven't magically disappeared because Levi isn't part of this anymore.

Despite it all, you knew tomorrow was a new day and that you would have to do this with or without Levi. You had to. You're all cried out it seems, and once the tears cleared, a new sense of reality came with it. A new sense of truth.

Hange gave you space to breathe, and while you did feel like you fell apart before, that was the best thing your assistant could've ever done for you. You didn't know what you could've done if you fought to keep it inside for the sake of your pride.

But Hange's presence and acceptance was more comforting than anything they could have said in that moment and you felt like you could really get through the night.

Eventually, while nothing was needed to be said between you and Hange the rest of the way, you opened your eyes when you felt the car take that familiar dip downwards and you realized that Hange was driving into the parking lot of your building.

You straightened up in your seat just as Hange stopped the car right next to the doors that led to the elevators. It took you a couple seconds, since you couldn't quite express how grateful you were for Hange being there for you and driving you here in the first place.

Even if it was their job to that, you know that when they do things like this for you, it was far beyond a employee/boss relationship. They were one of your closest friends and they meant the world to you. It always has.

You swallowed and turned to look at them, seeing that they were already looking at you with a soft gaze in their eyes. Even if you haven't told them what happened, they're so quick to be by your side no matter what.

"Thank you, Hange. Not just for driving me back...I really don't know what I would've done if you hadn't shown up," You admitted as you inhaled sharply and started to fiddle with your fingers.

But Hange's smile only got bigger and warmer. "Anytime. I'm glad I got there when I did," They said and you nodded, letting out a breath you didn't know you were holding onto. You were glad it wasn't an inconvenience for them.

Hange never lies to you, and they never tell you things just because its what you want to hear. She's so transparent and resilient and you're glad they're the person you've had by your side all these years. If they had something to say, if something's bothering them, they'd tell you and that's one of the things you loved most about them.

"Do you want me to come up with you or are you okay on your own?" Hange asked suddenly, knocking you out of your train of thought. You smiled and shook your head.

Everything they've done until now has managed to bring you back down to Earth, to center yourself, and you wouldn't have asked for anything different. You were okay. At least you think you are, at least.

That was progress and more than you can ask for right now. You got a chance to breathe, think, and process. You were okay enough. It was baby steps. You calmed down and everything was good.

Well, maybe not 'good' per se since you had to begin to think of how you'd adjust your situation without having Levi around, but that was a problem for future you. You had your moment before but you picked yourself back up.

Tonight, you just wanted to focus on going to bed and finding new solutions some other time. You weren't ready to face them now. You began to unbuckle your seatbelt as you gathered your things.

"That's okay. I can head up alone," You said, already having everything ready to get out of the car. You turned to look at Hange and they were looking at you with this skeptical look in their eye from hearing your words.

Your lips twitched as you chuckled softly. "All I want to do right now is crawl into bed, so I wouldn't be much fun anyway," You assured them and Hange laughed, nodding. You turned your body towards the door, opened it and proceeded to quietly step out but not before you heard your assistant speak up.

"Alright. If you say so," They said, and you heard them open the door on their side and step out of the car briefly. They closed the door behind them and then saw you from across the car start to put in the code to open the door to the elevators.

Hange heard faint beeps as you pressed your fingers onto the touchpad to put in the final few numbers that were left. Their eyes lingered on you for a bit from afar, trying their best to figure out.

When you put in the final number and you were met with a beep of approval, the doors next to you that lead to the elevators opened and you smiled in relief. You were one step closer. You could be at peace in your apartment and that's pretty much all you needed right now.

You turned around to look at Hange one last time and raise your hand to bid her goodbye with a smile, proceeding to walk through the doors and into your building at last. But as you pressed the button to the elevator and to go up, the doors hadn't closed yet and all Hange could do as your back faced them, was let their face fall. Their eyes squinted in suspicion.

They wished they didn't have to stay quiet as they watched you go in and day out go through so much and tough your way through it. Sometimes they wished they could do more without feeling like they were pushing a boundary, intruding or going too far despite how long the two of you have known each other.

What was happening in your life wasn't like anything they've seen before or something that they think could be pushed under the rug. Hange wanted to do more but they just didn't know what. It's not like they're a therapist or anything, so was it right to intervene?

They had a feeling that what what led to them finding you on that staircase had something to do with Levi and every day, they worried more and more for you and your well-being.

Hange understands your need for space and to think more than anyone else after working for you for so long, or at least, they like to think so.

They can't stand watching you crumble before their very eyes as you have, even more now that Grisha was gone and your biggest support system was out of the question.

Right now, all Hange could do was continue to secretly make progress on their own end to take some of the load off of you in any way they could, but the moment that they found you in the state that they did just now, they decided that they needed to be there for you now more than ever, stop worrying if it broke a boundary that went beyond their role as your assistant.

They didn't want to be on the sidelines anymore. it came to a point where it didn't matter if it crossed a line, because you needed it. You needed people by your side, and you needed to be reminded that you did have people that wanted to fight this alongside you. They wouldn't let you go through this all by yourself every single day. Not a chance.

Seeing you eventually get in the elevator and start to head up, Hange took that as their cue to leave. They'd done this before—taking your car and picking you up the next day.

It was one of those little routines or habits the two of you had, where you handed over your keys and didn't have to think twice about it. This time, you didn't ask for your keys back or even so much as glance at them, and knowing how things had gone earlier, Hange figured you wouldn't need them.

With a simple and quiet nod to themselves, your assistant decided they'd take your car for the night and then pick you up in the morning for work. It had worked before, so why not again?

After everything that must have happened with Levi—that is if their hunch was right after all and he had anything to do with your current state—Hange figured you'd probably not be expecting him to show up to take you to work tomorrow, either.

So, without hesitation, Hange turned on their heel and made their way back to the driver's seat, already starting to plan their quiet mission to help you through all of this.

Once Hange got back into the car, put their seatbelt on, and drove out of the parking lot, the only thing they left with was with the comfort that you were finally safe in your apartment.

That you were in your element. Where no one else but you was and you could feel at ease because only the people you trusted knew where you lived.

But what Hange didn't know, is that wasn't entirely true. The one person you were hoping never found where you lived, already did. A long time ago.

And after deciding that he had to speed up his plans to get to you because of his boss, he had been waiting for the perfect opportunity to get to you, and both you and Hange had been completely oblivious of who was just a few feet away in that very parking lot. Waiting. Ready. Watching as Hange drove away, and that meant one thing. You were alone.

-

Levi truly didn't know how he did it. Somehow, he managed to make it back to the Scouts Foundation. Eventually, after not being able to stew in his own misery any longer, he gave in and called a cab. He couldn't take a single moment more of trying to walk it off. It didn't work. Not in the slightest.

His mind drove him just as crazy on the way back, but at least now he was here. This was the one place where he felt like he could actually find some sort of distraction until he needed to figure out what to do next, or at the very least the illusion of one. He relied on this place for solace after all.

And just as Levi stepped out of the cab and started to walk into the building, he realized then and there that one thing he couldn't do was attempting to go to bed. It was out of the question. He knew he'd just end up staring at the ceiling for hours, spiraling with regret while his thoughts ran wild, gnawing at him, refusing to let up.

But how could he possibly stop it? He couldn't stop thinking about you. About what happened. The things he said. What you said. His head was spinning out of the control, and now that he was back, the walls that once felt safe only felt like they were enclosing in on him.

It was ironic than even when you're not around, you're virtually affecting every part of him. Especially tonight—he couldn't even step foot in his office. It was tainted now. A constant reminder of that night when he'd been so cruel to you. How deeply he'd hurt you. And he still wishes he could take it back and do it over.

Every step further that he took felt like a fresh punishment for everything he's brought on himself, when this used to be his sanctuary. Now, all that echoed in the walls were the memories of you walking away from him because you thought that's what he wanted and you were trying to make him happy. He didn't know what to do.

He's been repeating that to himself over and over again like a desperate mantra all night, because its the only thing in his mind that had truth to it. He didn't know what to do. There was only one other place that he felt like he could still go to in this building, and he immediately started to head over to it. If this didn't help, then nothing would.

And that's how he found himself where he is now. Sitting in the middle of the auditorium, watching as Petras rehearsed. The moment she saw him walk in, she urged him to stay for a bit and see the new additions she added to the choreography, and he numbly agreed.

His mind and his head were just not in it so he had no idea and couldn't tell whether Petra noticed or not, but either way, the moment he sat down and started to watch her rehearse, he truly did try his best to focus.

Before he met you, before he got into this mess, this performance was one of the many things he was supposed to monitor because they're annual performances that Petra worked very hard for, poured her heart into, but that was until he had to hand over the reigns to Onyankopon.

And he still cares about these performances because they bring a good name to this organization and recruiters get to see Petra's talent. But now, just watching these rehearsals reminded Levi of one thing.

Since he had told you that he wanted to go back to his 'perfect', 'old life', Levi supposes this is one of the things he has to get used to getting more involved in again since he hasn't for a while.

But he can't. He just can't. Just sitting in that auditorium, he felt like the music was muffling and drowning out on its own because his crowded and annoying thoughts were taking over again, along with flashes of you and what happened earlier that day coming back to haunt him. Everything around him started to become distant and out of place.

Levi stared dead ahead at the stage, eyes narrowed, eyebrows drawn together, onyx hair falling over his face. Arms crossed, jaw set. From Petra's perspective, he looked focused—like he was analyzing the performance as usual, trying to take it all in. But it wasn't like that.

She had no idea what kind of thoughts were swirling behind his eyes, what was lurking behind them—and especially, how loud it all was in there. God, he was such a coward.

He forced himself to look away out of guilt that he wasn't giving Petra his full attention, leaning his elbow on the armrest and pressing his hand to his forehead. He closed his eyes and swallowed hard, trying to collect and compose himself.

He can't even seem to pretend, can he? That was the simplest thing he could do and he couldn't even do that for five minutes?

What sort of weird effect were you having on him that the consistency of you flashing over his mind was becoming more common? Why does his brain feel the need to remind him of how colossally he messed this up?

But suddenly, just as he felt himself start to get consumed by everything he was trying to avoid, a chill ran up his spine that sent alarms up and down his body and made him go still. All of a sudden, something felt very off.

He dropped his hand from his forehead as his body tensed at the hunch that was creeping up on him. He didn't know what it was but it creeped up on him out of nowhere and he wasn't sure if he should shake it off or not.

Maybe it was just his brain finally snapping in half and he'd officially gone crazy. But even as he tried to focus on Petra's performance, the feeling followed him.

But that feeling hadn't quite reached you yet. After Hange dropped you off, you did everything that you promised yourself you'd do the moment you got back to your apartment.

You showered, did your usual night routine, put on your pajamas, and then once you did, you didn't quite do the step of going to bed right away.

As you were showering, you'd remembered something very important that you'd forgotten during everything that happened. You never ended up meeting up with Oluo to get the marriage forms drafted after all, and it didn't cross your mind until just then.

That's why, now that you were all ready for bed, you had slipped under the covers but you were sitting back against the headboard with your phone in hand, searching for your blind date's contact. You needed to take care of that tiny little detail and hopefully reschedule with him to take care of that errand.

The wedding was so soon after all and you couldn't get married without that marriage registry all drafted up. You also wanted to apologize to him for leaving him in the dark.

You've barely checked your phone as you finally went into your messaging app, you found that he had left you a couple messages, asking where you were, why you didn't respond to his texts or his calls. He sounded genuinely concerned so you wasted no time in sending a text right back to him and quickly began to type, explaining yourself and telling him the wedding was still on.

You: I'm really sorry. A lot happened after the date, I couldn't make it to register our marriage. I'll be in touch with you tomorrow so we can go get that issued.

You sent the message to him with a sigh, feeling the weight of that being lifted off. You really hoped he understood. Even if you and Levi still had your fallout, it didn't mean that this had to be put off.

You still had to get married, and you weren't going to let what happened today put it off either. But at the very least, you hoped that text would be enough and that Oluo understands.

All you had to do now was wait for his response. You stared at your screen for a moment, watching the message finally deliver with a 'whoosh' sound. There was no uncertainty, and no seconds guessing. It feels like you gained control over all of this again and it felt good. It really did.

This was the right thing to do and you were going through with it no matter what. It was necessary and you knew that to be certain from the moment you asked Oluo in that restaurant.

No more second guessing, no more getting stuck in place, you're gaining back control and you're pushing through with the clarity you have left. You made your peace with it. Even if what you had with Levi fell apart, you still have a plan to follow through with. And you're going to stick with no matter what happens. No derailing.

Whatever feelings were still lingering that got you into this mess didn't matter now. She had a future to head towards, goals to accomplish, even if it's not what you once hoped for.

There's nothing you can do to change anything that happened, and that's what keeps digging at your heart like a knife. But one thing that you're allowing yourself to do, is to finally relax.

You were just about to let yourself finally start to relax into your pillows, turn off the lights, and bury yourself under your covers. For the first time today, the silence in your apartment didn't make those rampant thoughts in your head feel louder. You felt at peace. Safe. Tranquil. You weren't going to question it. You didn't know how long it'd last.

But apparently not for very long. That quiet and tranquility was interrupted. Just as you were reaching over to turn off your bedside lamp, the only light source to your room at the moment, you froze when you heard something.

It was muffled and it was echoing from afar so you quickly put together that it was coming from the other room. Outside in the living room. You didn't move a muscle and stayed completely immobile in place as you tried not to get worked up or concern. That sound could be anything, right?

You took a couple seconds to see if you could make sense of the sounds and to you, it just sounded...like soft jazz? You swallowed hard and slowly turned your head to look over to your closed bedroom door.

The more you tried to listen to it, the more you felt like your heart started to involuntarily race as a defense mechanism. Did you leave the stereo on? No, that can't be. You haven't used it recently.

Where's that music coming from then? It sounded very faint but it sounded slow, distant, but also not familiar at all to you either. It almost sounded like one of those old tunes you hear from time to time, with that nostalgic crackling, fuzzy sound to it? You couldn't explain it. Something old. It was as if-

That's when it hit you. Your blood ran cold. The record player. The record player was on. You know, you know for a fact that you hadn't turned it on, touched it or gone near it today. Not yesterday.

Not even in the last week. Your lips parted slightly as you felt every breath in your lungs leave your body. You couldn't breathe. You just stared at your bedroom door, frozen, like something might move if you blinked for even a second.

Okay, okay. You needed to think logically. Rationally. You can't lose control right now or jump to conclusions. In the worst scenario, you needed to take this slowly because if that music going on outside is for the reason you think. You're in trouble. Big trouble. And you wouldn't get out of it that easily. Maybe it's not even what you're thinking of.

Maybe the record player short circuited, you left it plugged in? Maybe you're imagining this and you're just tired and delirious. Maybe it turned on by itself, you thought. Maybe the knob got nudged. Maybe it's a glitch. You wouldn't be surprised if that was the case.

Every time you tried to convince yourself that you shouldn't be more alarmed, the feeling of impending doom only got worse, not better. Because running back through your actions did not make any of this make sense whatsoever. None of it added up.

With all the commotion you've had in your life, you haven't taken a moment to use your record player. And it also had to be played manually, and you knew by memory all the records you've ever bought. The one playing felt completely unfamiliar. The needle had to be set down. The dial had to be turned.

And now...it was spinning. All by itself. You live alone. Nobody else could've done that. And it didn't help that you didn't know if you were imagining it or not, but the song that was playing seemed to be playing louder so you could hear it louder through your door.

The same crackling old tune, resounding through the door like it belonged there. As if it its always been there. But it hasn't. Not once. You did not own that record. And that was what made your heart start thudding louder.

Your hand continued to shake slightly as it hovered over the bedside lamp switch. You wanted to so badly turn it off, let your room plunge into darkness, hide and disappear under your covers and pretend like none of this was happening. As if it was some cruel joke your imagination was putting on you.

That none of this was real and it would go away on its own. But another part of you, something primal, something out of your own survival skills—knew better. Telling you not to move. At least not yet.

Because if your suspicions were correct, while your fingers tightened around your comforter, and if the record player was truly playing outside, that only meant one thing.

The cold chill you'd been spared from until now crashed over you when you realized that...you weren't alone. Someone turned it on, and they were still here. And you knew it in every part of your body.

The dread was eating you alive. Your survival instincts were flashing in every part of your brain telling you to stay where you are maybe nothing will happen. But you didn't listen to them.

It's already felt like you've stayed still for what's felt like minutes, and the music, that already felt like it would haunt you in your dreams for eternity, like it was engraved in your memory, was still playing.

This so clearly felt like a trap to get you out there to the living room, but the feeling that was clawing at you to get it to stop was even stronger. It didn't just feel like it was reaching your ears, it felt like it was creeping under skin, into your veins, and it wouldn't be that easy to forget if you made it out of this alive.

Even if this so clearly felt like a trap, and you were the mouse that the cat was going to pounce on once you fell for it, you needed to go out there. You just had to. Common sense had managed to reach your thought process and you realized that you couldn't pretend that this wasn't happening, because if you didn't go out there, the very person you were suspecting was out there would get to you.

Hiding under covers wouldn't save you and it wasn't going to stop whoever was out there anyway. And as much as you wanted to stay here and let the problem solve itself, you knew that wouldn't be the case. You needed to muster up your courage, be brave, and do what anybody else would do in this situation.

You inhaled shakily and quietly move your comforter and blankets away from your body. You slowly moved your legs, one by one until your feet touched the ground. And the moment your skin made contact with the floor, you immediately taking off your socks before bed and also not having a rug.

The ground felt cold. Too cold. It was as if whoever was out there sucked the warmth out of the room and your entire apartment, reminding you of their company even further.

Thankfully, you had your slippers on the side of the bed so you swiftly slipped your feet into them. You kept repeating in your head to take deep breaths and keep them steady. You can't freak out now. But those commands weren't exactly translating to your actions because your chest started to heave lightly.

You started to take slow and gradual steps over to your door way and the closer you got, the more your mind reminded you that the moment you did, you may or may not come face to face with someone awaiting you on the other end.

And after what felt like an eternity of walking towards the door, you eventually walked past a small table that was right next to it where you'd left your taser, pepper spray gun, and so on. They were all sprawled out across the table, and you opted for the one closest to you. The taser.

You leaned to the side slightly so you could grab it, wanting all the help you could get to deal with whoever was outside, and you wrapped your fingers around it slowly while being careful to not make any unnecessary noise. The person outside couldn't know you were coming and you would rather keep it that way. You had an advantage right now.

After that, you kept making your way towards the way, being more hyperaware of your own footsteps than ever. The closer you got, the more it felt like your heartbeats were hammering out of your chest and that your breathing was getting heavier, defeating the purpose of staying as quiet as you could because your body language was betraying you.

You could feel thumps echoing in your ears and the moment that you wrapped your hand around the doorknob, and twisted it, you paused. There was no turning back now. Whoever was out there surely heard that and knew you were heading out. You had to keep going, even if every part of you told you to turn back, lock your door and hope for the best.

You stayed in place, continuing to listen to the music that was still playing. It was creating an even bigger, unsettling pit in your chest that begged you to not go through with this, but you continued anyway. You could hear it a little bit clearer now, but it didn't make it any less creepy.

You opened the door a little further, and bit by bit you could see more glimpses of your...empty living room? You didn't want to get too confident right away.

Just because this person wasn't right outside your door, didn't mean that he wasn't still around. You opened it a little more, letting it creak and with a surge of bravery, you continued to step out of the 'safety' of your own bedroom, walking further outside.

Your steps were becoming a little more staggered as your fear was starting to catch up to you. Each of your footsteps resounded across your entire body and they were starting to feel louder than the music, booming in your ears along with your heartbeat.

Your breathing was getting more shallow as your throat started to feel more dry and you held your taser tight at your side, gripping it hard. You started to look around, for any sign of this person or maybe anything that got moved around.

You don't think you've ever felt so vulnerable and closed in like you do now. The person was probably watching you, too. That was chilling enough on its own, knowing that you had eyes on you right now. Watching your every move, every step, every breath. Just waiting to come out.

You eventually rounded a corner and in the distance, you saw exactly what you suspected. Your record player on a table on the far wall, playing on its own, with the moonlight casting shadows on it where the living room light didn't quite reach.

You inhaled shakily and with your free hand, you gripped the fabric of your pants on your side, and reaching your skin lightly pinching it, with a small part of you still wishing that would bring you back to reality which you hoped this wasn't.

But as you got closer and closer to the record player, you felt your face to get warmer, drained of color. Your lips parted and your eyes progressively got wider as a daunting realization quickly started to dawn on you.

Once you stood in front of the record plater, watching the vinyl spin on its own, you blinked—and suddenly, you became very aware of your surroundings. Of the position you were in.

Your face went white. This was real. This was happening. You were so exposed. You were out in the open. Oh, no. What did you do? The realization hit like a domino effect—adrenaline flooding your entire system too fast to process. Once you came to that horrifying conclusion, your body immediately started to react.

Your free hand flew to your chest as tears pricked your eyes. Your heartbeat intensified and pounded so loud in your ears that you couldn't hear your own thoughts anymore. Your breathing came in short, shallow, high- pitched and suffocated bursts.

You couldn't think, you couldn't breathe, you couldn't do anything but feel your world start to enclose around you. You stumbled back, losing balance, that was your biggest mistake. The worst thing you could've done. But it was already too late. You were fucked.

And before you could do anything about it, midway through those unsteady steps, completely unaware of what was behind you, you gasped—your taser and phone slipping from your hands and to the ground—when you suddenly felt a strong arm wrap around your midsection and your scream was immediately muffled when an arm came around your other side and a cloth was placed over your mouth and nose.

But somehow, in your panic, your fingers had managed to hit the 'SOS emergency signal' on your phone. You needed help. Anybody. You could really die tonight, couldn't you?

Whatever was left of your instincts kicked in right then and there because the moment you smelled what was in that cloth, you started to resist and try to fight back against whoever was holding you against them and preventing you from going anywhere.

Their force was so bruising and they kept your head forced upright, refusing to let you see their face. But you knew it was the psycho that was after you. He finally found you. He got into your apartment, the last place you had to yourself to feel safe, and he found you. You never thought it'd come to that and you were too naive to think that at all.

You couldn't do anything but thrash, jab, kick—anything to get free. Your muffled screams pushed through the cloth, but your body was fading faster than your will. Despite the will to fight still burning inside you, the chloroform was far stronger.

Your movements quickly started to slow, weaken. Your eyes fluttered. You stopped resisting. You lost all control and sensation in your own body. Then, one last breath, then came darkness, and that was it. You went limp, and fell back against the hold of the person waiting for the perfect opportunity to finally dispose of you like they'd been ordered to do for so long.

You wished you had been awake enough longer or fought harder to know that someone had seen your distress call, and not having been put to sleep thinking there was only a slim chance you were going to make it out of that situation alive.

Because there was someone out there who as soon as they saw that distress signal, dropped everything they were doing to rush to your aid. And it was the very person you thought you'd never see again.

-

Levi was continuing to sit in that stuffy, dark auditorium as he watched Petra go through another run of her choreography. He feels like he's seen it 10 times over already and none of it was helping him forget. It came to a point where the sound of that rehearsal didn't even reach his ears anymore and he eventually just stopped caring.

All the guilt, web of confusion, and regret were all still clawing at him very much, but it felt distant now. Not as painful. He felt the pounding of his own heart reverberating in his skull. And that weird feeling he got before? He dismissed it too. He assumed it was his mind playing mind games on him, yet again. So he deemed it unimportant. Now he felt like a shell of a person.

And all of that was eventually interrupted when he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. It had been silent this entire time and he didn't feel in the mood to talk to anyone either, so at first, he didn't react. Not one bit. He groaned quietly and raised his hand to rub against his eyes and ridge of his nose.

He figured it was another pointless notification he didn't need to look at and that he could ignore. But then the vibration got stronger and louder, more insistently, repeating a couple more times as if the device was yelling at him; 'Check your damn phone!', so without thinking, his hand darted into his pants pocket and pulled it out.

When he turned it on, he expected it to be something trivial, meaningless, but when his eyes landed on the message, his heart nearly stopped. An SOS message? His fingers tightened around his phone, so much so that his hand trembled against the device.

It was only a notification, an automatic message so he couldn't see what it was about. Not until he unlocked it. When he did, the urgency hit him like a freight train. His face fell and so did his heart, straight to his stomach. Every part of his body went rigid at what he was seeing.

[I need help! SOS!]

Levi couldn't think. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't act. A cold swept over him that felt like a wave of needling ice. For a split second, as he stared down at the screen, he felt like all blood was draining from his face as the gravity of the message created a visceral reaction inside of him as his mind whirled, trying to process, trying to make sense of the panic that was creeping up on him. His senses peaked and went into full alert. You'd never call for that out of the blue for no reason. Unless- No. No, no no. It can't be.

Your name burned into your mind, after trying so hard to push it away. But this time, he welcomed it. All he could think about was you, pulling him into a numbing fog as he thought of every single possibility of what might have happened to you that called for that message. You were in danger.

All clarity evaporated from his common sense and was ripped away from him as every ounce of his focus was suddenly honed on you and only you. He could imagine the situation you found yourself in right now and he could imagine your distress that came through your fingers as you evoked that SOS message.

And in a second, Levi's blood turned to ice, and then into fire. He didn't care if he wasn't your bodyguard anymore, because all he could do was let his body act for him. He had an undenying duty to you. He had to get to you. Without thinking about it twice, he stood up. Practically shooting up from his seat and his footsteps started to echo throughout the auditorium.

He couldn't waste another second and that's how much you truly meant to him. He already wasted enough time trying to make sense of what he was looking at his body knew what to do before his mind caught up to him. But his urgent exit caught the attention of other people around. Including Petra. Especially Petra.

She stopped dancing altogether and watched as Levi left as abruptly as he did, seeing him rush out his seat and run up the ramp, faster than she's ever seen him run. She hurried to the edge of the stage as her face twisted with confusion. The musicians and the backup dancers all stopped what they were doing once they witnessed this.

"Hey! Levi! Where are you going?" She called out, but it was too late. He was already out the door. And a part of her was suddenly filled with an ugly and unwanted feeling once she realized who Levi was most likely heading out in such a rush for. Her face twisted with annoyance and bitterness. And she couldn't push it off.

-