where did it go wrong?

sunghoon feels numb. jake's still standing far from him, as if he doesn't want to get close to him.

"was it all a lie then? when you said that you like me?" sunghoon asked, taking a step towards jake.

jake shook his head, struggling to find an answer. he stepped back, but sunghoon was quick to take another step closer to him.

"it's not like that-"

"then what is it? is there a problem?" he tries to grab jake's hand but the other just avoids his touch.

this is too much pain for me. "jake, please- just tell me what's wrong-"

"nothing's wrong." sunghoon almost scoffed. nothing's wrong, but why is he acting like he doesn't want to be near me?

"then why are you suddenly drifting away from me? why are you putting distance between us?"

it started raining, and for the first time- jake's thankful that the rain started pouring. because he doesn't know how long he can hide the tears that's been rolling down his cheeks. finally, i can cry without him noticing.

"i don't know what you're talking about." he denied, even though it's really obvious how he acts in front of the guy.

sunghoon feels frustrated. he doesn't even feel the coldness of the rain. "yunie, stop playing dumb. you can be honest with me."

jake shook his head. "i told you, i can't." he breathe heavily. this whole situation is too much for him. it's painful- too painful, that it feels suffocating.

i need to go. "i have to go now, i'm sorry." sunghoon didn't respond, he's just looking at him.

jake sighed. he was about to turn around and walk away but sunghoon grabbed his arm.

"you won't even let me drive you home?" his voice was now hoarse.

jake closed his eyes. no, i won't let you. because if you did that, i won't probably be able to stop myself. i might give in and just change my mind.

sunghoon gives up. at this point, he knows that the guy has made up his mind. although he doesn't know why jake's acting like this, he still respects his decision. i'll just wait for him to tell me his reason.

he lets go of jake's arm and takes off his jacket- putting it on jake's shoulders.

"atleast wear this. you'll get a cold at this rate."

jake almost sobbed again, but he bit his lip to stop himself from doing so. "t-thank you. i'll go now, i hope i'll see you soon."

++++++++++

[ dongkyu 🐻 ]

jake:
daniel?
are you busy?

dongkyu 🐻:
not really
why?

jake:
can you pick me up rn? i'll send you my location

dongkyu 🐻:
sure
but aren't you with sunghoon?
everything ok?

jake:
yeah
thanks

+++++++++

"jake? why are you standing in the middle of the rain?" daniel quickly went out of his car when he saw jake waiting on the side of the road.

"don't you have an umbrella? and where is sunghoon?" daniel ushered him towards the front seat of his car. when he got back inside, he gave jake a towel to dry himself.

jake is usually calm and collected, but daniel couldn't help but notice how quiet he is right now. not to mention that his eyes look like he cried a lot.

something must've happened. "so... did your date not go well?"

jake smiled. "it went well."

look at him lying in my face. daniel stared at him. "doesn't look like it to me. did sunghoon reject you or something?"

"no, he didn't reject me."

"oh, okay. then why does it look like he broke your heart?"

jake shook his head. "no, i'm fine."

"you're lying. he definitely hurt you-"

jake looked at him. "he didn't, okay? because i was the one who hurt him. i was the one who broke his heart. it was me, not him."

daniel was shocked and confused at the same time. he watched as his friend cried silently. if he broke sunghoon's heart, then why does it feel like he also got his heart broken?

i know that he likes sunghoon, but what's holding him back?

+++++++++++

[ sunghoon ]

sunghoon:
where are you?
i'm at my apartment
let's drink

heeseung:
????
i'm busy idiot
and why would you suddenly want to drink? aren't you with jake?

sunghoon:
what do you think
he doesn't like me

heeseung:
huh? really?

sunghoon:
yeah
i'm probably destined to be alone for my whole life
i got rejected two times now
life hates me

heeseung:
but you two seemed fine earlier
you guys were even tweeting each other
what happened?

sunghoon:
idk
maybe he realized that he doesn't really like me
fuck
maybe i scared him away
maybe i shouldn't have confessed
why did i even do that?
we were better off as friends

heeseung:
ok stop that
you did the right thing
atleast you said what you wanted to say

sunghoon:
and i regret doing that
anyways can you just hurry tf up and come over here

++++++++

heeseung stopped writing when he read sunghoon's reply. he glanced at geonu's direction- the guy is busy reading the reviewer that he made for him.

the two are studying at his apartment even though it's a weekend, because geonu insisted on wanting to get a high score on his upcoming moving test.

when geonu noticed heeseung's stare, he turned his head to him. "hmm? something wrong?"

"i need to go to sunghoon's apartment now. i'll drive you to your dorm first."

geonu tilted his head in confusion. "like, right now?" heeseung nods. he puts geonu's papers and reviewers on his backpack, arranging it.

he groaned when he saw geonu pouting. "but i haven't even finished answering these questionnaires!"

"you can continue answering that on your dorm." he ruffles geonu's hair. "and stop pouting, it won't work on me."

geonu rolled his eyes, grabbing his sweater. "what does sunghoon even want? is his date with jake over?"

heeseung paused and stared at him. jake probably hasn't told him yet.

"what? why are you looking at me like i'm suppose to know something?"

"jake dumped him."

"oh, i mean that's okay- wait, jake dumped sunghoon?!" geonu gasped. right, i shouldn't have told this noisy dwarf.

geonu rummaged through his backpack and grabbed his phone. "what is this bitch thinking? why did he reject the person that he likes?! i thought i was the stupid one here!"

"dwarf, calm down and wear your sweater properly." heeseung pulled him closer to fix his clothes, while geonu was busy calling jake on his phone.

"why isn't he picking up his phone?" geonu grunted. he's starting to get annoyed by the fact that jake hasn't told him anything yet.

"he probably needs some time alone right now, so just let him be. i'm sure he'll contact you once he feels okay." heeseung assured him while rubbing circles on his back to calm geonu down.

"in the mean time, let's get you back to your dorm. i still need to check on sunghoon to see if he's still on his right mind."

geonu just nodded, following heeseung outside of his apartment.

+++++++++

[ jake the 🐶 ]

geonu:
jakeyy
what happened?
are you okay?

jake the 🐶:
oh
so you probably knew
yeah i'm alright

geonu:
is there smth you're not telling me?
bc i can listen
you know i'm here right?

jake the 🐶:
i know
i'll tell you everything
just let me rest first
please

geonu:
i'll wait
rest well okay?

+++++++++

so... that happened 😬

anyways, i think there's only 5-6 (?) chapters remaining before the end of this book ;-;

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