I V Y'S   P.O.V

"The mobile number you've dialed, is currently switched off. Please try again later. Thank you".

My hands tremble, dialing Chace's number for the thousandth time in a row. I blink twice to prevent the tears from falling.

"The mobile number you've dialed, is currently switched off. Please try again later. Thank you,"

I haven't read his letter yet. It is still in my hand as I hear it slightly crunch, I'm not ready to read what's inside it. I was waiting to have this conversation with him.

I supposed he could trust me and can take all the time he needs to recollect his thoughts, go out for breakfast down at Lester's and vent to his heart's content, parallel to how he did to me.

I wanted to be there for him.

I wanted to give him a purpose, a purpose stating he can trust me but it doesn't have to be right away.

I dial his number again, knowing he isn't going to pick up. "The mobile number you've dialed is currently switched off. Please try again later. Thank you."  A part of me wants to tear the letter,  I don't have the guts to do it. Why did he leave without saying anything? Did I do something wrong that I didn't deserve a stupid goodbye?

I'm not sad.

Sad isn't the word to use to describe this sensation swimming in me. I just feel as if my eyeballs have been ripped open, my tongue pulled out I forgot how to sob, my heart racing with the image of him leaving this world and never coming back, I am horrified, confused in dire need for answers.

It is only now that I am realizing my prophecy of us netting for a short span is true. Biting my lower lip, my refusal to show how I am is growing weaker.

I am sitting in the kitchen with my phone in my hand and Chace's letter in the other, hoping like a naive girl standing in the rain waiting for her boyfriend to call her up, sweeping her off her feet. I open the letter.

Dear Hurricane,

I can't find the words to explain why I did this or why I'm sitting here at two in the morning, pretending to be fucking Shakespeare, I'm not good with words and there is a reason why boys like me don't do this.

But here I am, once again going against my will like I did when I first brought you home after what that Carson asshole did to you, the night he almost tried to get you into his bed at the party. Honestly, this is much better than saying these things to you in person.

You see, it took my long enough to realize I can never get lucky because there is no such thing as "Luck." Fine, maybe there is but for those who depend on it, they don't realize it is short lived.

As you read this, you probably might want me to get to the point. I'm not going to waste my time anymore by beating around the bush since that isn't who I am.

The point is I can't see you as friend, I can't treat you like one. You are not the type to be put in any zone.

This might sound crazy... I felt it when you first walked in. You came without a warning.

Why Cherry of all places ? I have no freaking idea. But if you hadn't chosen it, we wouldn't have gotten the opportunity to meet each other in the first place.

You drive me crazy. You are unpredictable. You are interesting and that's what I like about you. Although your snarky attitude would probably be the last thing I would want to deal with, it is frustrating when things don't go the way you want them to.

I want to fold it. I can't bring myself to read what he says next because I'm not prepared to bear the brunt and the impact it is going to have on me after I'm finished reading it.

I want to make a change, Hurricane. I don't want to be this guy anymore.

I don't want to carry this darkness or the remnants of my past that keep coming back to haunt me and fuck me up in ways that will never, give me the chance to succeed in something that I have the potential in.

When things like these happen , you kinda want to let go. You don't want to surround yourself with people, you think you have got this and can keep it under wraps.

It's what I always used to do. It's what you did too after what you've told me.

I might sound a bit of a dick right now, but your childhood wasn't worse in comparison to what I had to go through, what I had to endure.

When you were next to me, I couldn't stop thinking about my wanting to leave and rebrand myself. For so many years, I was afraid... ashamed even, to ask for help.

I thought there was no one who could hear my desperate calls and get me out of this huge pile of shit I had accumulated. However, you were there.

Your hand sort of healed the damage in my heart giving me the power to go and do what I should've done few years back. Which is why you hold a special, a very special place in my heart, promise me you will wait for me and hear me out when I am back.

I don't know for how long will I be gone or when will I be back, don't bother calling me up until time says it is ready.

You might not know this, I figured you too might have changed your mind about the two of us being friends was never going work. Sure, five percent lust and the rest is all genuine shit about me being insanely attracted to you, it's the fucking truth.

I will be back. A better guy. Not everything will be changed, but you are so worth it, I want to be the guy you deserve to see.

Not some washed up jerk who drinks himself stupid every night and cusses for no damn reason, ( that might be a flaw which will take its own sweet time to vanish and never return) you might say you will still accept me, regardless of the flaws I have.

And that is why you matter to me so much. Please, just wait. I promise I will be back soon. I don't want you worrying, I will be fine ( can't guarantee, but I will be fine since I know you have read this much, I want you to see me as if I'm worth the wait.)

Blistering, marshy tears deluge from my eyes, I press the letter to my chest and a dry mewl explodes from the depths of my gullet.

"How do the hell," I wheeze "how the hell can you even ask that?!" I scream, ready to tear the paper into half I want to throw something.

"I want you to see me as if I'm worth the fucking wait".

Who does he think he is?

"What do you want me to do now?!"

I shout again, more tears escaping. This is very selfish of me to say this but it is equivalent for him to manipulate and psychologically get into my head so I read the damn letter and feel sorry for him?

I wanted to help him. But he walked away and I don't know for how long will I be able to stand this helplessness, it is severe than betrayal.

My eyelids shut, digging my nails into my palms, I don't care if I puncture a vein.

My body jolts, hearing the door of Chace's apartment open, Reed and Jade walk in looking equally perplexed as I am their facial expressions changing into... empathy.

I am mentally exhausted to conjecture on how they knew I would be in here. Partially, I may savvy the riposte. Jade crouches beside me. I avoid meeting her gaze, stopping her from saying what she is about to say. Reed does the same , I don't want to look at any of them.

"I like it when I'm alone. If he sent you here, you can leave."

The words sound harsh, I breathe in. I lift a shoulder as Jaden reaches to touch me, her mouth chinking to speak. Reed steps forward, hands in his pocket. He looks at the ceiling, bangs hiding his blue eyes. They remind me so much of Chace, I cover my face and cry again.

"I am sorry," Jaden whispers, her breathy tone filled with purity.

"It is not enough. It is unforgivable but we really- I really want to be here for you. And I'm sorry for what Chace did, but he is doing it for you.." Reed sighs, giving my shoulder a gentle squeeze.

"I am sorry too. But he will return."

"Y-you guys k-knew about this?!" I stutter and squeak at the same time. "Tell me where is he?!"

Jaden and Reed look at each other, both hesitating to reveal Chace's whereabouts.

"It's best if you don't know,"

"We-uh promised him to keep it low key. Ivy, it's not our place to tell. It is better if you wait till he is back and he comes clean about everything that he hasn't said to you." Reed scrubs a hand through his face, looking guilty.

"Come on," Jaden slings an arm around my shoulder, rubbing my back up and down, she sniffles. "Let's get something to eat."

I bite the inner walls of my cheek, not saying a word. I don't know what am I going to do without him being around me. I don't know how am I going to survive this long without him next to me.

I don't know what it is to not have my fingers tugging at the ends of his hair and messing it up even more, how is this feeling described in the modern world?

Who will be there to greet me with an enchanting smirk which I have gotten attached to, a smirk that makes the butterflies in my stomach flutter with excitement, I want it to be a permanent fixture on his beautiful face.

Who will be there to listen to old metal songs from the eighties, acting to be on stage and make digs at cover bands with ridiculous names, attracting unwanted attention and make ourselves look completely stupid?

Will I be able to find someone who isn't Chace but share a lot of interests in common? Someone with eyes which resemble the oceans you see in Maldives, with dangerous specks of green, he looks at you in a way that only you exist to him and no one else does, arms that make you not want to leave, his other name is Zeus, a god of murderous thunder in a meaningful way.

Will I be able to find someone who can make me laugh with a single one liner? Most of all, will I be able to find someone who will be there to wake me when I'm unconsciously witnessing a horrible dream? Will he be there next to me?

"Ivy..." Reed calls, his voice low with caution pulling me out of my trance, I wipe the tears that were about to pour. My face is dry and wet.

"Chace wanted me to give this to you," he places something metallic in my palm, I hear a jingle. "He said to take it whenever you need an escape."

It is the keys to Chace's motorcycle, his house key attached.

"I do"-

"I insist that you do. Not that it is any of my business, he gave us an insight on what happens when you...Screw it. I won't be a bother. Jaden's there but I want to be of help. Do not hesitate to call me if you need anything." I nod, holding the keys right in my fists.

"Can you guys give me a minute?"

Jaden and Reed nod, walking out of the apartment narrowly shutting the door. "Will I be able to let you go?"