"𝐈𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐠𝐧𝐢𝐳𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐡, 𝐬𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐤 𝐯𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬."

❦❦❦

－ 𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐈 𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐒－

𝖶𝖨𝖳𝖧 𝖠 𝖲𝖶𝖨𝖥𝖳 movement, I grabbed a black and blue plaid uniform flannel and a skirt that matched the flannel. I quickly slipped into the clothes, feeling the familiar embrace of the fabric as it hugged my body. I paired the outfit with some black shoes, the sight of my white socks contrasting against the dark hues of my clothes. It was a simple outfit, but it gave me a small sense of comfort, like a security blanket to shield me from the world.

I hastily tied my box braids into a high bun, securing them with a hair tie. Then, I slipped on a pair of simple stud earrings, the small pieces of jewelry adding a touch of femininity to my simple outfit.

I stood in front of the mirror, silently scrutinizing every inch of my reflection. I adjusted the hem of my shirt, smoothed down the fabric of my skirt, and fiddled with the placement of my earrings. I couldn't help but notice the way the clothes hugged my body, revealing every imperfection and flaw. I couldn't shake the feeling that something was off, that there was something I needed to change or fix to feel comfortable in my own skin.

Maybe it's too short?

Or maybe too tight?

I continued to fidget with my skirt, pulling it lower and lower, trying to conceal my flat ass and nonexistent boobs. Every look in the mirror I felt even more uncomfortable.

one moment I felt overweight and unattractive, the next I felt skinny and acceptable.

It was confusing me, I didn't know which one was the real me.

I can't go.

I just can't.

"Dani, hurry up!!! Unless you want to walk to school." My mother shouted from downstairs.

"I just can't-
I said to myself.

"I'm not going!" I yelled.

"Fuck Dani!" My mother said angrily.

Just then, my mother's footsteps echoed through the hallway as she approached the bathroom. She pushed open the door and entered, her eyes immediately falling on my outfit. "What's the matter?" she asked, a concerned expression on her face.

"I don't like it."

"What do you not like Dani?"

"This outfit makes me look flat and weird."

"How!?"

"Just look at me!- I don't like it- I don't the way it's hugging against my body- I feel weird and uncomfortable."

"Dani we don't got time, come on." She grabbed my arm.

"Please No!" I cried

My mother's grip on my wrist was tight and unyielding, her fingers digging into the fresh cuts and sending stabs of pain up my arm. I could feel her pulling me down the stairs, her determination to get me into the car overpowering my reluctance and discomfort. The pain was a constant reminder of the physical scars that mirrored the pain I felt inside, and I couldn't help but feel a sense of helplessness as she yanked me closer to the car.

"The day will be over in no time, it's time for you face your fears Dani!" My mother buckled in her seatbelt and drives off.

❦❦❦

My mother dropped me off in front of the school, and I stood there, clutching the strap of my bookbag, staring at the tall staircase and the imposing building before me. The sight of the school was enough to make my anxiety spike, and I found myself paralyzed with fear and uncertainty. The thought of walking up those stairs and facing the day ahead felt like an impossible task, and all I wanted to do was turn around and go home.

"No." I said turning around just to see my mother's car gone.

I was hoping that it was still there.

As I stood there, I could feel the weight of their gazes on me, their judgmental stares cutting through me like knives. I knew that they were probably wondering why I looked so different, why I was alone and so out of place. The thought of having to interact with them made my stomach clench with anxiety, and I wished more than anything that I could disappear into the shadows.

I got to go home.

It felt like an eternity had passed as I stood there, frozen in place, unable to take a single step forward. My mind was racing with anxious thoughts and dark memories, each one threatening to consume me if I dared to move.

Looking back on my life, I couldn't help but feel a sense of melancholy and nostalgia. It seemed like just yesterday that I was carefree and living life to the fullest, surrounded by friends and laughter. But now, the reality of my situation was a stark contrast to those happier days, and I struggled to reconcile the person I used to be with the person I had become. It was a painful reminder of how much I had lost and how far I had fallen.

I jolted out of my thoughts as an unfamiliar female voice spoke up behind me. Turning around, I saw a white girl with brunette hair and glasses standing there.

"Are you speaking to me?" I asked

Her eyes goggles around. "Uh, yeah?"

Her sarcastic response immediately put me on edge, and I bristled slightly at her tone.

"Are you going in the school or- are you waiting for someon-

"Oh- yeah nah this is my school, I'm new here." I said 

"First time in Manhattan?"

"No, been here since a baby." I said

"Oh cool, me too." She replied

I watched as she turned around and started walking towards the school entrance. "You coming?" She asked.

❦❦❦

"So what's your name?" She placed her books into her locker.

"Dani bells."

"Hm, nice- I'm Simona Williams."

"How old are you and what grade are you in?"

"I'm seventeen in the 11th grade."

"Well We must got the same classes, come to the office with me so we can go get your schedules."

As I followed after her to the main office, I couldn't help but feel a mixture of apprehension and curiosity. When we arrived, she went up to the lady standing at the desk and asked for my schedule. To my surprise, the lady handed me a piece of paper with my classes and locker number, and I thanked her softly. We left the main office and walked down the hall to my locker.

"Are you okay?" Simona randomly asked.

"Why wouldn't I not be okay?"

"I don't know, You just seem so tense up." She chuckled softly.

"I'm honestly fine, trust me."

❦❦❦

As we walked into the chemistry  together, I felt a wave of anxiety wash over me. The room was filled with students, some chatting among themselves, others silently minding their own business. I found myself clinging to my bookbag as if it were a shield, a way to protect myself from the stares and judgement of the other students. Even though the brunette girl was walking with me, I couldn't help but feel a sense of isolation and insecurity.

"Mr. Truce we have a new student." Simona said outloud and the whole class suddenly got quiet.

Fuck.

"Hm, and who would you might be?" Mr. Truce asked

"I'm Dani Bells, I'm from and raised here."

"Welcome to my class, I'll be your chemistry teacher for first period everyday."

"Quiet down class, we have a new student here with us today, please come up here in front of the class and introduce yourself."

"No, it's okay!"

"Please, I insist." He replied

fuck my life. 

As I stood in front of the classroom, I froze for what felt like an eternity. The stares of my new classmates bore down on me, my skirt and my legs, I could just feel their judgement and skepticism. The silence in the room was deafening, and I was terrified to break it. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my racing heart, and after what felt like an agonizingly long 30 seconds, I uttered my name. The word came out in a trembling, barely audible whisper, but at least it was a start.

"Anytime now." A random boy shouted in the room. 

"Well I'm-

"What are you scared for? We're not going to eat you." A boy laughed.

"Quiet it down Jax." The teacher said.

"Give her a minute damn." Simona defended me

"I'm Dani Bell," I finally let out.

"I'm Seventeen and from Manhattan." I finished.

"Finally." Jax says clearly annoyed.

Mr. Truce surveyed the classroom, searching for a suitable seat for me. "Dani you can sit next to Lucifer." He pointed to an empty desk.

I glanced nervously around the classroom, noticing that the seat next to me was empty. Where was Lucifer, the boy that Mr. Truce had pointed out? I fidgeted with the hem of my skirt, feeling a sense of anxiety and uncertainty.

And being singled out as the "new girl" made it even more uncomfortable. I couldn't help but feel like a target for unwanted attention, and I wondered what the other students thought of me.

A sudden movement caught my eye as the classroom door swung open. I looked up from my paper to see a brunette-haired boy walk in, accompanied by a brunette-haired girl. He was tall, roughly 6'2, and his slender, athletic build stood out in the room. I watched as he walked in with confidence, his eyes scanning the classroom before settling on Mr. Truce. I couldn't help but feel a sense of unease as I noticed him looking my way, sizing me up with his gaze.

The other students' attention shifted towards them. Some whispered to each other, others exchanged curious glances, and I couldn't help but notice the way they suddenly became the center of attention.

I watched in shock and disgust as Jax laughed and made obscene gestures with his fingers towards the two students that came in. His mockery was obvious and blatant.

"Y'all were fucking, weren't y'all." Jax teased.

"oh stai zitto, cazzo." The male said
(Translation: oh shut the fuck up.)

As the boy began to speak to Jax, I was taken aback by his Italian accent and language. The words were foreign to me, but there was something about the way he spoke that was attractive and captivating.

"You've been in the bathroom for 30 minutes Lucifer! And since when did you leave my classroom Faye?" Mr. Truce questions.

"We have a new student that you two missed, I hope what ever you two guys were doing in the bathroom wasn't more important than your education." He said

"Dani, please stand up and introduce yourself again."

man leave me alone.

I stood up from my seat hesitantly and stared at the two, "I'm Dani Bells."

"It's Faye to you." She said before sitting down at her seat.

"Lucifer." The male replied in English, his accent thick and distinct. 

"Lucifer,"

"Dani is assigned to sit next to you, so please feel free to help her around the room, thank you."

I looked over at the boy named Lucifer, observing his appearance and demeanor for a moment before nodding.

I waved at the boy silently as he made his way over, his height hovered over me as i was sitting down.

"wrong seat." his accent thick.

𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐄
𝟎𝟎𝟐. ❦