𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐈𝐗𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍 || 𝘛𝘏𝘌 𝘐𝘕𝘍𝘌𝘙𝘕𝘖
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[ ʜᴏʟᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ʟɪɴᴇ, ᴀʏᴇ
ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ꜰɪɢʜᴛ ꜰᴏʀ ᴘʀɪᴅᴇ ᴏʀ ɢʟᴏʀʏ?
ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴏʟᴅ ʏᴏᴜʀ ꜱᴄᴀʀꜱ ᴄʟᴏꜱᴇ ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ? ]

   THERE WAS NO explaining this feeling Roland was experiencing as he was sat inside his tent. His grip tightly wrapped around Dale's rifle and his fingers glossing over the wooden body of the weapon. Roland remembered bugging the older man about never letting go of the rifle like it was the last woman on the entire earth. And he would always get a sly smile back in return that would result in the pair laughing.

What if he was there? Could he have saved Dale? Where are they supposed to go from here? Would anyone be able to fill the spot Dale had secured himself as a human being? As a man who was just looking out for the ones around him? These questions littered the entirety of Roland's mind and he didn't know how long they would continue to sound off. But all he could do was come with the terms of the loss and move on. That's all they could do after all, just move on and do better.

"Baby?" The whisp of Beth's voice alerted Roland of his girlfriend's presence, looking up and smiling at the blonde. "Hey." He greeted gently as he placed the rifle beside him. Resting his eyes on it for a moment before looking away with a sigh. Beth watched him sadly before stepping inside. Seeing the large bruise on Roland's right shoulder as she took a seat beside him.

The cold weather had settled in a lot quicker than anyone had expected. It felt like it came in full swing the day after Dale had passed. Roland saw it as some sort of sign that Dale was punishing them or some shit that he probably didn't understand. He would never understand what went through that man's head half the time, and that was perhaps why Roland preferred hanging around with him.

Goosebumps littered Roland's bareback as Beth rubbed his warm skin softly. It may have been a small gesture, but it helped quite a bit for him. His hands cupped around his nose and mouth as he turned his head slightly to look at the girl. Those baby blue eyes piercing his and her tiny smile appearing. Knocking the little wall he built up- to hold back the words wanting to escape- down.

"He told me once that I would get the rifle after he died. Told me, 'out of everyone, you deserve it.'" Roland laughed as he rubbed his hands together. "I ain't done anythin' to deserve it." He muttered as Beth sighed lightly. He didn't question it when he felt her move behind him and wrap her arms around him. The warmth of her clothes giving his bare torso the warmth it'd been demanding for quite a few minutes.

"You may not think it, but you do." Beth began, her left rest resting against Roland's right shoulder blade. "He saw somethin' in you that no one else did." A soft kiss was placed on his skin before they pulled away, brushing just barely over with a gentle feel. "We may never know what that thing was, but I guarantee he's looking down at you and smiling." She whispered to him as he grabbed her right hand and gave it a tiny squeeze. Chewing the inside of his cheek as he lowered his head.

Even if she didn't know it, Beth was Roland's rock. There was no doubt in his mind that if he had never found Beth or fallen in love with her, he would've lost himself entirely. Probably halfway across the country and far away from his family. She was the reason he was still here and still pushing on. He would go on for as long as the world allowed him, and with each step, he would be there with Beth and protect her.

Bringing his bottom lip between his teeth, he turned his head to look at the girl. Allowing her to lean in and capture his lips. Warmth fulfilled them both as their lips moved in tandems. This kiss was full of passion and love that left Roland feeling a lot better than he ever did before. And when it came to an end, he let his eyes slowly flicker open and find those baby blue eyes. Smiling gently before turning away and sighing.

"I need to get dressed." He muttered as the blonde nodded. Unwrapping her arms from his body and moving to her original spot. She watched him lean forward, hissing in pain as he reached under the cot and pulled out a grey long sleeve shirt. There was a brief moment Roland took that he just sighed, closing his eyes before standing up.

Each movement was watched by Beth as she saw the slight shiver roll down Roland's body. Not even interested in the sculpted chest and abdomen that was out in the open for her. Her main focus was on the bruise that had appeared overnight when she spent the night with him. Doing her best to comfort him in any way she could.

Slipping his arms into the shirt, Roland couldn't help but hiss in pain. Gaining Beth's assistance as she stood up in front of him. "Lower your head." The timbre in her voice was soothing and comforting for Roland. Doing as he was told, he winced in pain as Beth put his head through the top of the shirt sharply. Grabbing the hem of the shirt and helping him pull it down until it covered his torso.

"Did it get bad overnight?" Beth asked as she turned to grab Roland's beige jacket that in the corner of his tent. Glancing up at him as she lifted the piece of clothing from its spot as Roland adjusted his shirt. "Yeah, but it ain't anything I haven't dealt with." He replied with a scrunch of his face as he moved his right arm just barely an inch and felt the pain pulse. "Did I sleep on it?" She asked worriedly and Roland smiled. "Nah, you were fine." He assured as Beth turned to the boy before walking behind him.

"We could talk to my dad and see if we can get it to healing now if you'd like." She suggested as Roland slowly lifted his right arm to slip inside the sleeve. "That'd be- goddammit!" He cursed as he heard a pop come from his shoulder with his arm slipping into the sleeve. "Are you okay?" Beth asked as she moved around to the front of him to try and see what the problem could've been. Roland hissed in pain as he rolled his shoulder back and let out a chuckle. "It was just dislocated." He said as he looked down at the blonde in front of him.

He laughed seeing the frustrated look on her features as he slipped his arm into the left sleeve before adjusting the jacket. "Feels a lot better now. Still hurts a bit though." He told Beth as she wrapped her arms around him. "You probably deserved it, babe." She quipped and Roland mocked a hurt look as he looked down at the girl. "Beth Greene! I am wounded!" He quipped as the girl giggled and rested her forehead against his chest.

Roland let his arms wrap around the girl as he let his face rest in her hair. Inhaling the vanilla rushing his senses like a tsunami on Adderall. A hum reverberated from his chest making Beth giggle in amusement as she pressed her lips to his chest. They stayed like that for a while, sitting in each other's warm embrace that was better than any other feeling in the world.

This was exactly what Roland needed to feel any form of recovery. He knew that with Dale's passing, people were going to push the overwhelming emotions away and let them slip away over time. But Roland often couldn't let go of those feelings and often released them on people that didn't deserve that pain. Now, Roland had Beth to help him through these tough times and to bring him some form of joy into his life.

"Please don't leave me," Beth whispered and Roland felt his arms tighten around the girl. "You have to promise me this Roland." She added and the boy let out a long and heavy breath. Holding her waist comfortably against his body so they were flush. Moving his head slightly with his eyes closed as he sighed lightly.

"I promise, Beth." He muttered and the girl's arms tightened around him. Roland pressed his lips to the top of her head and rested his chin on her head. "Don't ever think otherwise, alright?" He told the girl who nodded into his chest. "I'm gonna be there until I can't anymore." Roland finished before pressing a gentle kiss to the top of her head again before patting her back.

They pulled away and Roland sighed he turned to his cot and reached under his pillow. Beth had moved over to the little pile of supplies that Glenn and Roland shared. A few cans of beans with Roland's M9 and his box of ammo. She leant down and held it in her grasp and let herself adjust to the weight of the weapon. Roland glanced over his shoulder to see the blonde running her fingers over the cool metal.

His eyes averted to Hershel's watch that he was buckling around his wrist. "You can keep it if you want." He spoke up as he tightened the cool leather and slipped the pin into the hole. "I'll speak with my dad and see if I can get a new gun." Roland finished as he turned to the girl who was watching him with the gun in the palm of both her hands.

"I can't do that, Roland. It's yours." She protested and Roland sighed as he stepped in front of the girl. Placing one hand on her wrist and using the other to force her fingers to wrap around the weapon. "You need it a lot more than I do." He told her before pressing a kiss to her forehead. Cupping her cheek as he brushed his thumb over her soft pale complexion. "Keep it." Beth was reluctant, but she soon caved in and placed the weapon in the back of her pants.

Roland sighed as he reached down to the side of her cot, grabbing the rifle and putting the strap around his shoulder. "Let's go." He muttered softly as he nodded his head for them to go. They stepped outside and Roland shivered at the slight breeze that nipped at his neck. Looking to his side as Beth tried to make her denim jacket tighter around her body for warmth.

Soon enough Rick had given out orders that they would all be moving inside the house. As well as he and Daryl would be cutting Randall loose to honour Dale. Roland respected it and had nothing else to say on the matter. But of course, Shane had some sort of problem with it, but Rick was there to shut him up which Roland was more than thankful for.

But he was seated near a little campfire he started as he sorted through some of the ammo he had on him. Dale's rifle leant against a tree beside him as he counted quietly to himself. "5, 6, 7. Fuck." He cursed as he clenched his hand around the bullets. They were low on ammo for pistols, and down to seven rounds for the rifle. So, he made a note to suggest going for a possible run in a few days to just stock up on ammo for the winter. It was the last thing they would need before the worse came.

"How are we looking?" Andrea asked as she walked over, standing over the boy. "We got around 100 shells for the shotguns, 50 for the pistols, and a total of seven for the rifle." He sighed as he shook his head. "At this rate, we'll be out of everything. We need to use our knives more." Roland told the blonde who nodded as she seated herself beside him.

Holding her hands out towards the fire as she welcomed the warmth. Her eyes snapping to Roland for a brief moment before she sighed. "I never apologized for what happened. With Beth." Roland hummed with a nod as he grabbed the PX4 Storm 9mm from the bag. Eyes widening at how light the pistol was as he inspected it before grabbing a box of 9mm's and beginning to load them into the clip that Roland ejected from the weapon.

"You had a reason to do what you did." He began. "Sure, I don't agree with how you did it, but it's in the past. All we can do is move forward." He shrugged as he slipped one bullet at a time into the magazine. "Do you really believe that though?" She asked quietly and Roland looked up at her with slight confusion.

Stopping for a moment when he could see the sombre look on her face. Her eyes were full of questions and her eyebrows knitted together in confusion and wonder. Roland looked now and hummed in response as he grabbed another bullet and slid it into the magazine before stopping a moment.

"I believe that this is all we can do in our new world. We can't sit and mourn. We only can move forward and think about them later." He explained before doing a wave of his hand. "We're lucky we can honour the people we are close to with funerals." Roland chuckled as he shook his head.

"But do you really think that we can just move on and forget about all the people we've lost?" Andrea asked and Roland sighed.

It was a good question and Roland knew he could only answer it truthfully. "No." He shook his head. "No, I think the only way for us to move on is if we accept that they're gone and continue to survive for them." He explained as he slapped the magazine into the pistol before flipping the safety on. "It's like people stuck in between heaven and hell. They can't seem to let go of the world they once were in. But as soon as they let go and accept their fate, they can move on." Roland explained as Andrea nodded.

"I hope we all can move on from this." She said as she stood up from her spot. "I hope we can just keep moving forward like you say we should." She told him and Roland nodded as he stood up as well. "It's the only way we'll survive." He replied as he lifted the back of his jacket before stuffing his pistol into the back of his pants. "We both were able to do it for Amy. So, the others should be able to too."

Andrea nodded in agreement before pursing her lips. "You know, she was way too good for you." Roland laughed lightly as he nodded in agreement. "Yeah. You're right there." He sighed as he placed Dale's rifle in the bag before zipping it up. "She deserved better than all of this." He added before grabbing the straps of the bag and holding them in his tight grasp. The blonde pursed her lips before nodding stiffly in agreement.

Roland placed a hand on her forearm and gave it a gentle squeeze. Smiling sadly at the woman as he said, "She's somewhere better now." He assured as Andrea nodded with a sniffle before hugging him. The Grimes boy didn't protest and wrapped his free arm around her and rubbed her back.

This was the first time they had even talked about Amy without fighting. Or even had a civilized conversation without wanting to pull each other's throats out. It just hurt Roland that it had to take Dale's passing to bring the pair to a point where they could understand each other and respect each other's past decisions. There was so much wasted time between them that could've been fixed long ago if they actually took the time to talk.

Pulling away, Roland patted the blonde's shoulder before holding the bag out for her. "I still have to gather a few things. Can you take that to the house?" He asked and Andrea nodded with a sniffle before taking it and walking away without another word. Roland watched her walk away until he let his eyes trail over to the barn.

Having to double-check and see Shane rushing into the woods surrounding the sides and back of the house. Roland frowned and didn't waste a second with quickly jogging in the direction of where he saw Shane. Glancing around to try and spot anyone that could've seen what he did, but there was no one. And that was enough for Roland to pull out his knife and twist it into a reverse grip.

Entering into the woods, Roland felt the crunching of leaves beneath his boots as he squinted from the sun breaking through the trees and fall leaves. The cold wind didn't help with keeping Roland's mind on the fact of finding out why Shane was out here. But with each step he took, he could hear sounds from all around him appear. Cutting off any distinct sound and forcing him to just look around frantically.

A scream ripped through the air before being abruptly cut off. Roland quickened his pace as he grounded his teeth from the pain in his shoulder. But as he came to a stop, he got sight of Randall's body. Neck snapped and no sign of Shane anywhere. A crack of a branch got Roland's attention as he turned his head a bit to the left before taking slow steps.

As he rounded a tree, he wasn't prepared for the punch that was delivered to his face. Stumbling back as he could feel the blood beginning to drip down his nose. "Motherfucker." He cursed as he kicked Shane in the stomach, pushing him back a few feet. "You just couldn't mind your own business, couldn't you?" Shane questioned as he raised his hands into a fighting stance. Wiping his nose with the back of his hand, Roland clenched his jaw as he held his knife tightly in his grasp.

"You don't have to do this, Shane." He began with a hopeful look directed towards the man he had and always would trust despite their differences. "We can go back and forget about this. It isn't too late to forget about all of this." Roland tried desperately to convince his uncle figure, but he got a shake of the head. "There's only one way, Roland. And if I've gotta kill you, then I will." Shane replied and Roland clenched his jaw tighter, holding back the emotions building in his stomach.

Slowly shaking his head, Roland pursed his lips. A pleading look forming on his face as he stared at his surrogate uncle standing in front of him. "Don't make me do this." He muttered quietly as Shane felt his bottom lip quiver. "I have to do this, Roland." He said. "I'm sorry." He added quietly.

Roland was the first to try and attack, attempting to slash at the man. His wrist was grasped and twisted, causing a yell of pain releasing from Roland as the grip from the knife fell from his hand. Retaliating, Roland brought his left hand up and punched Shane in the face and knocked the grip from around his wrist free and making the older man stumble back. Holding his nose as blood trickled from his nose.

Charging at the man, Roland trampled Shane and landed on the ground roughly. Quickly straddling Shane and punching him two times. But when he tried to do it again, Shane caught his wrist and pulled him down and head-butted him. Roland blinked a few times as he was rolled onto his back with a groan. Soon Shane was on top of him with the advantage.

Trying to push Shane off of him and to get back up to his feet. His defence was only knocked down and stripped away when Shane pushed his arms away and punched him. And as soon as Roland couldn't defend himself, the punches kept coming again and again. Grunts leaving Roland's lips as he tried to protect himself in any way possible. He couldn't grab his gun since it was sitting underneath him uncomfortably and his knife was nowhere to be seen and lost within the fallen leaves.

In the brief moment of times between punches, Roland let his mind run free. It was only for a few milliseconds, but in those tiny and short moments, Roland thought more than he had ever. But what stood out the most from this entire situation and his thoughts was the fact that he felt betrayed by Shane. Like whatever they had created as a friendship had ended up being nothing and Roland would die here by the Walsh's hands.

It wasn't the way Roland saw himself going, but he felt content with the idea of it. He was just happy that if he was going to die, it was at least at the hands of someone he knew and could call a friend. But he was glad he wouldn't be dying to a walker and would instead be killed by a fellow human.

But Roland snapped out of his thoughts as he tasted metal in his mouth. So, spitting on Shane's face, Roland punched the man in the side of the head before rolling him off. Quickly, the boy grabbed the gun from his back pocket and straddled the man. Pressing the gun to Shane's forehead as his left eye was already bruised shut. The sting from the corner of his left eyebrow, right cheekbone and busted bottom lip pulsating in pain.

His right eye welled up with tears of frustration as he stared at the man below him. Seeing the shock and anger written all across Shane's features. "I could kill you! I could kill you here and now! No one would care and we would be done with you!" He shouted at the man as his hands trembled with his fist having a handful of Shane's shirt and his other holding the gun pressed to Shane's forehead.

"You're making me do this. You were my friend! My uncle!" He yelled before Shane shook his head. "You won't be doing shit." There was no response Roland could get out before a sharp pain shot up the side of his head. Darkness swallowing him whole where he welcomed it with open arms as he for once felt at peace.

When Roland awoke from the darkness that had taken over him entirely, he was welcomed with the pain of a skull-splitting migraine. A groan passing his lips as his right eye shut tightly while his left one stays the same puffy state as it had been in for hours. The sound of distant gunshots and growls could be heard in the distance and all around him. He couldn't figure out what was happening and as his right eye opened, he was welcomed back into the darkness of the night.

His head became heavy as he looked around tiredly and found his pistol still there by his side. It caused him to frown, but he didn't protest since if there were walkers nearby then he'd need his gun. So, grabbing his gun, he leaned back against the little ridge he was placed against as he reached up and touched the side of his head. Finding strands of his hair dry from blood and a sharp stinging pain licking around the spot continuously upon touch.

The moonlight shined down on him brightly as he got to shaking feet. Gun in his grasp as he panted while looking around and hearing the growls of walkers within the darkness. As more gunshots rang out, Roland tried to squint his eyes and spot whether he was looking at a tree or a walker. And as a growl sounded from his left, he back-stepped quickly and saw the rotting corpse fall from the ground, missing its lunge at him.

Slowly turning its head and growling at him before he kicked it square in the teeth. Quickly stomping its head in and continuing with a limp as one hand was now placed on his side while the other continued to hold his gun. The gunshots had stopped, but the sound of vehicles were the new things Roland could hear.

And as he came from the treeline, he understood why and felt his heart skip a beat. A herd of walkers surrounded the farm and now had taken over fully. The barn was set ablaze and burned brighter than anything he'd ever seen before. The field and land around the house swarming with the undead stumbling around. It was something out of his worst nightmare that had come to life as its own.

But Roland was more worried by the fact that no one else was here and he was all alone. No vehicles or anyone were to be spotted. He was on his own. The lack of his family and Beth worried him immensely. His heart thundered against his ribcage as he tried to think of a possible location of where they all could be or could meet up. And as he stood there, staring at the flames of the barn, nothing came to mind. He was at a loss of words and thoughts.

He couldn't pout and mope since walkers were everywhere and if he didn't leave then he would be their next meal. So, with a clenched jaw, Roland left the farm behind as the inferno inside him grew as he only had one mission.

Find Beth