𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐕𝐄 || 𝘋𝘖𝘕'𝘛 𝘞𝘈𝘚𝘛𝘌 𝘐𝘛
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[ ʜᴏʟᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ʟɪɴᴇ, ᴀʏᴇ
ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ꜰɪɢʜᴛ ꜰᴏʀ ᴘʀɪᴅᴇ ᴏʀ ɢʟᴏʀʏ?
ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴏʟᴅ ʏᴏᴜʀ ꜱᴄᴀʀꜱ ᴄʟᴏꜱᴇ ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ? ]

AS THE TIME passed, Roland had relaxed in his seat with Glenn having closed his eyes. Both still a bit full of adrenaline after what happened a few hours ago. They hadn't spoken a word, and Roland was completely fine with that since he could just have some peace and quiet after the long night he just had. And at the moment, he could do some sleep after seeing Beth for a bit. Even if it wouldn't come easy for him after the past few nights of nightmares.

But the other thing plaguing his mind was the boy most likely passed out in the back of the truck that had Hershel and Rick inside. Roland didn't like the idea of bringing the kid to their farm even if he was just his age. It didn't matter in a time like this, it was either kill or be killed and Roland was sure as hell going to do the killing if it meant keeping his family alive.

And perhaps he felt like he was going insane with thinking the whole thing over and over again. So, glancing over at his friend, Roland nudged Glenn who sighed slightly. "What is it?" Glenn mumbled tiredly, squinting his eyes at the sun that had risen over the hour of them driving. "Let me pick your mind?" Roland asked, glancing between the road and Glenn. Sighing lightly, Glenn ran his hands across his jean legs and sat up. Motioning with his hand for Roland to speak.

"What do you think about bringing this kid to the farm? Think it's a bad idea?" He asked and Glenn huffed, throwing his hands up with a look of conflict. "I don't know, man. We should just leave it to Rick and Hershel to decide." Glenn explained and Roland sighed as he adjusted himself further into the seat. "Well, I can just hope they do the right thing. I don't want this fucker being near Beth."

The words slipped out with so much ease that Roland couldn't have stopped them. Glancing at Glenn, he huffed when seeing the sly smirk on his friend's lips. He already knew he was in for a long and annoying task of dealing with Glenn's teasing. And if it carried on for too long, Roland might have to punch the boy or maybe even send them flying off the road. 'Maybe both were good,' Roland thought to himself with a smile appearing.

Roland wasn't even sure of how he felt about the blonde. It just felt natural about how he acted about Beth and what he wanted from the girl. And what he wanted was her. So, he had been trying to build himself up to the idea of when she got better, he would confess his feelings to her. But with Glenn teasing him, it could cause all the confidence he built up to crumble. Roland knew this just by the fact that Glenn did it when he told Glenn about his crush on Amy.

"You like Beth, huh?" Glenn questioned and Roland grumbled in annoyance. "Don't start, Glenn." He replied as Glenn raised his hands in surrender. "Oh, I'm just wondering man. Is it like platonic or what?" Roland once again grumbled in annoyance as he punched the boy in the arm repeatably and stopped after Glenn began yelling at him to stop.

"God, you punch hard," Glenn muttered as he rubbed his shoulder. "No, I just punched you harder than usual," Roland confessed as Glenn punched his shoulder back, the two boys laughing. When the laughter died down, Roland glanced over at his friend before looking back at the road. "Yes, I like, Beth." He confessed and Glenn looked over at him as he continued. "Liked her the moment she made me a sandwich after getting the supplies for Carl. Something about her draws me in and keeps me there." Roland explained with motioning of his free hand as Glenn smiled warmly at him.

It was the first time he was admitting the feelings he had towards Beth. After Amy died, Roland had isolated himself from everyone and actually found more company and comfort from Daryl than anyone else. Just being with someone where he didn't have to talk, but could just sit or walk in silence was enough for him to feel better. But that hadn't stopped from Daryl checking in on him and seeing how he was doing occasionally. You know, the casual 'How're ya?' or, 'Wanna talk?'. It was the casual and clearly awkwardness in Daryl's tone that showed Roland that the Dixon didn't know how to comfort someone since he'd never received that comfort as a child.

And perhaps that was why Roland poured pieces of his emotions out to Daryl, just to give him a bit to work with. He never wanted to annoy the man simply because they got along quite well and had this unspeakable communication that made them easy to work with each other. So, now talking to someone about this was weird for Roland. He wasn't used to it or liked it since the only experience he had with this sort of thing was with Daryl who was a loner.

But Roland knew that Glenn was just teasing and overall curious. He wasn't going to just freak out on his friend because he was confused or uncomfortable. If anything, he was willing to pour his heart and soul out for his friend to hear and understand where he was mentally. Because Roland never liked speaking on his emotions unless his tough facade was cracking under pressure. And as of recently, it had been happening quite a bit.

"Maggie told me she loves me," Glenn muttered and Roland glanced at his friend with wide eyes. "Told me right before me and Rick left the farm. I didn't say it back, just stood there like an asshole and left." Glenn sighed as he kept his eyes averted forward. "When I got shot at in the alley, I froze and hid. Like a coward where Hershel, Rick and you had to save me." The man ranted. "I just don't know if I can say it back after that." Glenn stated and Roland sighed as he pursed his lips, momentarily lowering his head in shame. He'd experienced what Glenn had and not a day went by where he didn't think about how things would be different if he said it back to the girl he did indeed loved.

"Amy had said the same thing to me," Roland confessed, keeping his eyes averted to the road ahead. Just the feeling of Glenn's eyes burning into his body was enough to tell him that his friend was surprised. "She, uh... She told me the same night she died. When all the walkers swarmed the camp." Pursing his lips, Roland clenched his jaw and blinked a few times as silence fell on them both. It took a moment for Roland to continue, but when he did he let out a shaky breath.

"She told me she loved me seconds before she got bit." Roland sniffled as he rubbed his nose. "Not a day went by after that that I thought about how things could've been different if I said it back. Maybe she would've stayed where she was with me and not near the R.V. where she was bit. Maybe we could've shared one last kiss that could make up for the fact of her loss. Like- like some sort of goodbye from her. When I could've let her in, I stopped. I killed her." He stumbled over his words as Glenn shook his head with a sorrowful look. "You can't blame yourself for that, Roland. You couldn't have known."

Roland knew Glenn was right and he knew he shouldn't blame it on himself, but he couldn't help it. Her final words to him were, 'I love you' before she died and he could have changed that outcome. Andrea wouldn't have lost her sister and Roland wouldn't be so closed off to anybody about his feelings. Things would be different now and Roland may have even shot Shane just for the fact that he wanted to keep Amy safe. But there was no way he could change the course of how fate was supposed to play out.

"I know, I know, Glenn. But..." Roland stopped to rub his eyes, catching the tears that escaped and hiding his true emotions wanting to seep out. He didn't like crying in front of people. It showed weakness, and in a world like this, that couldn't be a risk, he could take. "What I'm trying to get at is the fact that in seconds, something important to you can be taken-" Roland snapped his fingers, "just like that. And I don't want you to feel the pain I feel every single damn day of my life because I was too scared to admit my feelings. Don't let fear overtake you. Instead, push it, fight it, punch it, I don't fucking care. But you need to think about if you love her or not, and if you do, then don't let it go to waste."

Glenn couldn't help but hear the tiny plead in Roland's voice. His words came from a very personal place that Glenn had never heard from before and it saddened him knowing that his friend was hurting this much and no one could see it. There was clearly so much going on in Roland's head that he had gotten well at hiding it and focusing on the main thing at hand, and that was either worrying about the group or Beth. Who clearly had a huge effect on Roland in Glenn's eyes.

"Don't waste it. Don't waste the chance you had at love because you were scared. I made that mistake and it's done nothing but caused pain and sorrow." Roland finished, rubbing his eyes again as he glanced at Glenn who stared at him silently. "Promise me, Glenn. Promise me you won't let that go to waste." He murmured quietly as Glenn took a second to respond before nodding. "I promise." Roland let out a breath before he nodded and let the silence overtake the pair.

Both waiting patiently to return to the safe haven and prepare for the chaos to ensue the moment they returned.