𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐄𝐍 || 𝘏𝘐𝘚 𝘊𝘖𝘕𝘍𝘌𝘚𝘚𝘐𝘖𝘕
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[ ʜᴏʟᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ʟɪɴᴇ, ᴀʏᴇ
ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ꜰɪɢʜᴛ ꜰᴏʀ ᴘʀɪᴅᴇ ᴏʀ ɢʟᴏʀʏ?
ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴏʟᴅ ʏᴏᴜʀ ꜱᴄᴀʀꜱ ᴄʟᴏꜱᴇ ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ? ]

A PAINFUL SILENCE was over the group. Carol's whimpers and sobs could be heard from Roland's left as he had a protective arm around Beth. Holding her tightly as she cried into his shoulder. The Grimes boy's eyes never left their father as he wished he knew what his dad was thinking. They had broken many of Hershel's rules and now their fate hung in the balance and would be up for Hershel to decide. And telling by the man's heartbroken expression, Roland's fate was very slim.

"Don't look. Don't look." Daryl told the woman in his arms as he helped her to her feet. She pushed him away and took off towards the house. Beth cried harder on Roland and he held her tighter. "It's alright. Just breath." Roland had never been great with the whole soothing business side of things. But with Beth, he hated seeing the blonde like this. He loved seeing her smiling and making cute comments as the pair talked.

When Beth left his arms, Roland placed his shotgun on the ground and followed the girl. She went directly towards one. "Wait, wait, wait, wait." Beth didn't listen as she walked past him. Rick gave Roland a look and Roland nodded as he walked over to Beth. Watching her a few feet away roll over a body. "Ma..." Half of the walker's face had a bullet hole in its cheek from the gunfire moments ago.

It was when the walker began growling and grabbed Beth that he quickly moved forward to save her. "Beth!" He yelled grabbing the screaming girl's waist and beginning to try and pull her. "Come on!" Rick joined his son's side and the same as Shane. Everything was moving so quickly and Roland was just trying to get the girl he likes- dare he save "love"- away from her dead mother. "Pull her away, pull her away!" Roland yelled at the group, his heart thumping in his chest at an increased rate. When she was yanked free, the girl was in tears as Roland held her. Both her father and sister coming to check if she was okay.

T-Dog was kicking the walker's head while Glenn held its arms. Each attempt at killing the walker was pointless from how much it was thrashing around under Glenn's hold. It was Andrea who stepped up, grabbing a scythe and swinging it down, impaling the walker's skull. The blade penetrating through the back of the head and the face. Killing the rotting corpse permanently.

Handing the girl to Hershel, Roland had stared at the rest of the group. Running a hand through his hair as he tried to comprehend what had happened. This entire thing was fucked up and even Roland knew that. He was too blind to see that he had crossed the line with that man that welcomed them into his land. And the worst part, he had participated in killing the people Beth had cared about. That was what hurt him a lot more than anything.

He felt like he betrayed her, even if she gave him the okay. There was just this knawing pain in his stomach and he hated it. The last thing he'd wanted to ever do was break Beth, and now, he felt like he did just that. He should've put a stop to Shane's rampage just like his dad tried to. Maybe then this would've never happened.

His thoughts were shaken away when a hand was placed on his shoulder. Turing to see his dad staring at him worriedly. "You alright?" Rick asked and Roland took a moment to respond. Licking his bottom lip as he gave a stiff nod, not even sure if that was even true. Rick had his arm around his son's shoulder and gave him a tiny hug. Roland didn't hesitate with hugging back as he spoke into his dad's shoulder.

"What the hell are we doin', dad?" He questioned. "We both know that we'll be kicked out because of what just happened. So, what the hell are we doing?" Roland's stress was beginning to catch up to him and his dad could tell.

Clasping his one hand at the back of his son's neck and the other hand grabbing Roland's shoulder. "Hey. We're going to be okay, but it'll only be okay if you keep yourself together, alright? I need you to have a clear head, Roland." Rick's hidden plead to his son hadn't snuck by Roland as well as it should've.

They needed each other, a lot more than both men would like to admit. Roland's head was full of anxiety about the fact that they would most likely have to leave. At that point, Hershel might as well kill them because out on the road was a death sentence. Although the entire group had been on the road since Atlanta, they needed somewhere to hunker down and feel safe.

So, pulling himself together, Roland gave a nod before they took off towards the farm. Hearing the hollering from Shane directed towards Hershel who had a look of distress.

"We've been out. We've been combing these woods looking for her and she was in there all along? You knew." Shane exclaimed as he followed the group comforting Hershel. "Leave us alone," Maggie demanded harshly.

"Hey, Shane, just stop, man." Rick protested, grabbing his friend's arm. "Get your hands off me," Shane growled as he ripped his arm free from Rick's grasp. Hershel tried to find the words that could explain what had happened, but nothing came out.

"You knew and you kept it from us." Shane accused. "I didn't know." Hershel's voice wavered and Roland wasn't sure if the man was going to cry. "That's bullshit. I think y'all knew." Shane claimed with a scoff. "We didn't know!" Maggie yelled and Roland was on the brink of flipping out on someone. Just the constant yelling and accusations being thrown left and right were giving Roland a headache. Something he did not need at this point in time.

"Why was she there?" Shane interrogated as he followed the family. "Your- Otis put those people in the barn. Maybe he found her and put her in there before he was killed." The mention of Otis made Roland clench his jaw. Doing his best at keeping his head up and not to seem as affected by it as he was. "You expect me to believe that? Do I look like an idiot?"

Both Rick and Roland had stepped between Hershel and Shane and tried to defuse the situation. "I don't care what you believe!" Hershel stated loudly with a wave of his hands. "Everybody just calm down." Rick tried to defuse the situation, but everything just got worse.

"Get him off my land!" Hershel demanded as he pointed to Shane. "Let me tell you something-" Shane started, attempting to get in the older man's face. Roland was quick to grab the collar of Shane's shirt and shove him back. "That's enough, Shane! That's enough!" Roland pushed Shane back when he tried to speak up. "Haven't you done enough?" Maggie questioned before turning around and going straight inside. The others following her besides Hershel who turned to the group. "I mean it- Off my land," Hershel told them before going inside. Glenn nudging Roland who nodded but hadn't looked away from Shane.

Roland pointed at Shane warningly before going up the steps and walking inside the house with Glenn. Running a hand down his face before he turned to Glenn and stopped him. Looking over his shoulder cautiously before looking back at Glenn. "This shit ain't right." He muttered and Glenn nodded. "I know, but what can we even do? If they didn't know that it was Sophia, we can't blame them."

A hand gently took Roland's forearm and he looked to see it was Beth. "Hey, what's up?" Roland said gently and the girl sniffled. Slowly wrapping her arms around him and placing her face into his chest. Her quiet cries being muffled from his shirt. Reciprocating the action, Roland wrapped his arms around the girl and placed his right hand on the back of her hand with his left wrapped around her waist softly. He looked up at Glenn and said, "Just ask. I trust 'em, but I want to be sure that they didn't know it was her." He explained and Glenn nodded. "Alright, I will."

Both Roland and Beth had made their way up the stairs and had entered Beth's room. Roland took the chair by the bed while Beth laid down facing him. A dull look in her eyes as she stared at the wall behind Roland. He noticed and understood what she was going through and wished he could help in some way. But all he could do is sit by her and hold her hand gently until she would open up and talk. And he was fine with sitting in silence with her. It allowed him to think over some things that had been bothering him.

Such as the fact that Sophia was truly gone. Taken away at so young when she had so many years to live, but perhaps this was supposed to happen. Her being bitten in the forest alone was what God had planned for the girl. Sure, Roland did believe she was gone before they even found out about the barn, but he tried to have a little hope in the back of his mind. That was at least what he could do and give to Carol but it still didn't help anything.

A knock at the door got the pair's attention as Maggie opened the door. Her head peaking in with a sad smile on her lips as she looked between them. "Hey, the group buried the bodies. We're planning on going and letting dad say a prayer. Are you guys coming?" She asked gently. Roland didn't have a preference but looked to Beth to see what she wanted to do.

It was her decision that would bring him with her and he hoped she knew that. "Yes," Beth answered quietly and Maggie nodded, giving another sad smile before exiting and closing the door. Roland took Beth's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "I'll be right by your side, alright?" He told her. "Don't need to worry." He brought her to her feet and they walked out of the house.

And as he promised her, Roland was by Beth's side throughout the entire service. Holding her close as she just stared emotionlessly at the line of graves. It hurt Roland seeing her like this, but he would feel the same she did. But he wasn't going to judge her that she didn't spare a single emotion because sometimes you grieve over someone being gone that you just become numb.

By the time the service was done, Roland was back inside drying dishes beside Beth. He needed to make sure that he was by her side throughout everything. Glenn and Maggie were talking in the living room right behind the two teens. That didn't stop Roland from trying to make the girl smile.

So, as he hummed a soft tune, he attempted at having her sway and hum with him. "Come on." He urged softly as the blonde glanced at him. A ghost of a smile flashing on her face before it disappeared. Her eyes slightly blinking before her grip on the plate in her grasp dropped. Any strength in her body dissipating and Roland was quick to notice this and catch her before she hit the ground.

Panic filled his body as he looked in the direction of Glenn and Maggie. "Maggie!" He yelled, catching the woman's attention as her eyes widened at the sight. "Beth!" She and Glenn rushed over while Roland lifted the girl into his arms. Maggie checked her out before ushering the girl up the stairs to Beth's bedroom.

Time passed and Roland hadn't left Beth's side. His hands clasped around hers with it against his lips. He didn't have the power in himself to leave her side since he was scared that something else could happen. And even if he was too prideful to admit it, he cared for Beth more than anyone for right now.

His feelings for her had grown and he didn't know how to operate and act out on them. Jimmy still lived there and even if Roland hated the guy, he wasn't going to slide on in so soon. Hell, he didn't even know if Beth liked him the way he liked her. Another reason as to why he hated dating and having feelings towards someone. It practically a curse unless you got lucky then it wasn't bad.

But Roland pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind when he felt Beth's hand squeeze around his. Looking up at her to see her eyes focused on him. "Hey." He said gently as he sat moved to the side of the bed to sit beside her laid body. "Hi." She whispered and Roland smiled sadly at her. Maggie and Glenn had told Roland that Beth might've been in shock which was the reason why she passed out. And it only caused him to feel worse than he already did before.

Roland pursed his lips as he reached over and moved a strand from her face. Pushing it behind her ear and let his hand gently rest on her cheek. Beth closed her eyes and let out a shaky breath before leaning into his touch. It was a peaceful silence and Roland couldn't help but smile at the girl. She seemed so content in his company and that was enough for him. Knowing that he made the girl feel comfortable or safe was enough for him to keep going on.

"I'm sorry." He whispered as the girl opened her eyes and looked at him. "I'm sorry for what happened and participating in it. I know I should've tried stopping the others and helped your dad." His hand went through his hair as he grasped on any type of response to give her. "Maybe- Maybe if I stopped them, you wouldn't be here and we could be talking about stuff from our past- or doing something else." Roland sighed and lowered his head as he rubbed his eyes. "I put you in this position and I feel horrible for it." He finished as he looked at the girl to see her staring blankly at him.

That was enough for him to know he was still in shock and wasn't going to give an answer he was desperately needed. Some form of reassurance from her that let him know that she understood what he did and his actions were justified by her. But all he got was those baby blue eyes that stared into his light brown ones with a neutral expression on her face. It hurt him seeing her like this, but there was nothing he could exactly do until Hershel got back from wherever he was located.

So, with a heavy sigh, Roland gave the blonde's hand a tiny squeeze before standing up and making his way to the door. Exiting and shutting it quietly behind him as he leaned against it. Running both his hands down his tired expression before pushing himself off and walking down the hall and the stairs.

As soon as he got downstairs, he was met by his mother who had an incredulous look, but one of anxiety as well. "Mom, what's wrong?" He asked as Lori's eyes snapped to him as she walked over. Roland couldn't get a word out as his head snapped to the side with a stinging pain erupting across his left cheek. "Did you kill, Otis?" She questioned in a whisper, cautious of the fact that Patricia could walk in at any time.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Roland snapped before his mom grabbed his hand and yanked him outside where they walked off the porch and stopped a bit away from the house. "Answer the question, Roland." She demanded and Roland rubbed his cheek, pressing his tongue to his right cheek. "No." He answered simply and Lori tilted her head, clearly not believing the boy's words. "Don't lie to me, Roland. You killed someone!" She snapped.

"Who said I killed someone?" Roland said innocently, not ready yet to come to the terms of him killing a man who had helped him and Shane get away from that school. "No one said, but Dale is expecting you to have. Both you and Shane." She added the last part and Roland frowned as he looked towards the group's little camp to see the man with the Boonie hat watching from a distance. "And you're believing the old man's words?" Roland asked as he looked back at his mother. "You really think I could kill someone?"

"Yes!" Lori exclaimed and Roland's breathe got caught in his throat. His hand's clenching at his side at the confirmation in his mom's words. It hurt that she thought so low of him, but Roland knew he couldn't be angry since it was the truth. He did kill Otis but was doing it to save Carl. The worst part about it all was the fact everyone would still look at him as some sort of monster. There was no way he could get out of being seen as a monster unless there was someone else in the group who had experienced it. Shane was the closest to that next person and everyone knew it.

Roland stared at his mom, his eyes have turned to a glare as he scoffed. "I can't believe you would think that. What's wrong with you?" He questioned, not giving her the room to speak as he walked past her and towards Dale who was talking to Carl. "Dale!" Roland called out to the old man who looked up. Seeing the Grime boy's stature large with his hands clenched at his side. "Can I talk to you for a sec?" Roland questioned and the man glanced to Lori who stood in the same spot with her arms crossed.

Giving a tiny nod, Roland waited until Dale was standing before motioning the man to follow. Once they were at a safe distance, Roland turned to the older man and placed his hands on his hips. "What the fuck is wrong with you? Saying some shit like that? You really think I would just and kill someone trying to help us- help my brother?" He questioned trying to feign innocence, but he just sounded dumb. Roland didn't understand why he was trying to play dumb. There was no point in lying when it came to Dale. He was a kind-spirited man and had been someone Roland to go to when he needed to talk. So, why was Roland lying when he knew he could trust the man?

Dale shook his head as he waved his hands. "No, son. It's just a weird coincidence that you and Shane came back and Otis somehow didn't. Like- Like he was some sacrifice to you two." Dale explained and Roland pursed his lips. Scrunching up his face as he fought off the denial. If he could confess his sins and any form of fuck ups to someone, it was Dale.

"I want you to know the truth, alright?" Roland whispered and Dale nodded with his brows knitting together. It took all the courage in Roland to speak as he hesitated. How the hell are you supposed to say you killed someone? You couldn't because of how you knew the person would react. It wasn't something you could just come and confess to willingly without being completely insane, and Roland wasn't insane, not the closest. He had his reasoning to it, and he felt like the reasoning was enough to justify his actions. Even if there was a better way he could've gone about it.

"I... I killed Otis." Roland confessed and Dale took a sharp breath as he stared at the boy. "I shot him in the head. There was a scuffle between him and Shane, and I chose to save Shane's life instead of Otis's. Maybe I was dumb to do so, but I had no choice, Dale." He explained before placing a hesitant hand on the older man's shoulder. "I-" He pointed to himself, "had to save Carl. There was no other way and if there was, then I fucked up, but Carl was my priority. You need to understand that." Roland pleaded and the man nodded in shock as he looked down.

"Shane shot the man in the leg, trying to buy us time, but I finished the job. I gave him the relief to not experience the pain Amy and so many others had to experience." Roland's hand trembled as he removed it from Dale's shoulder and used his other hand to wrap it around his wrist. Muttering curses to himself as he shook his head and motioned his hand to the side. "Maybe I could've killed Shane, but I would still be in this situation. I would have to carry the weight." He said, pointing to himself with both his hands. "I would have to tell my dad that I killed his best friend- my uncle to save Carl's life. I didn't want to do it, and if I could take it back I would."

Before Roland could finish, Dale pulled the boy into a hug and patted the boy's back. Roland let out shaky breaths as he hugged the man back. Closing his eyes as he let his head rest on Dale's shoulder. This could either result in something horrible, or it could be something between him and Dale. And as far as things were going, Roland wasn't sure he was prepared for anything.