𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐄 || 𝘉𝘈𝘙𝘕
°✾°
═════════════
[ ʜᴏʟᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ʟɪɴᴇ, ᴀʏᴇ
ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ꜰɪɢʜᴛ ꜰᴏʀ ᴘʀɪᴅᴇ ᴏʀ ɢʟᴏʀʏ?
ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴏʟᴅ ʏᴏᴜʀ ꜱᴄᴀʀꜱ ᴄʟᴏꜱᴇ ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ? ]

    STABBING INTO THE dead squirrel, Roland gutted it as Daryl had taught him. Using his wrist to wipe away the sweat from his temple as he resumed skinning the small creature. Finding this process the only way to remove his mind from the obvious problem the group was faced with.

The decision of clearing out the barn or leaving was still up in the air. But Roland hadn't fully expressed his full opinion on it, he'd taken Shane's side fully. They were chasing a little girl who could be dead and long gone from where they were. There was no full answer given to them if they should still hold out hope, or just move on.

Roland wasn't willing to risk his little brother's life for an old man who was delusional. No way in hell was he going to allow that to happen. Even if Hershel let them into his property, Roland couldn't let that slide on by him like it's nothing important. At this point in time, Roland needed to think about his family and friends first before anything. If he believed that these people were putting them at risk, he wouldn't waste a second to stop it.

Grabbing the pelt and tossed it to the side before hanging up the insides of the squirrel. Hearing footsteps to his right, but didn't bother looking to see who it was. He was too much in his head to even hold a conversation as it is.

"Hey, Roland." Beth greeted sweetly and the boy tensed slightly before acting like he heard nothing. Sitting back down and grabbing another dead squirrel and doing as he did before. Beth appeared in his peripheral. Cautiously stepping forward with a slightly concerned expression on her face. "Roland, are you okay?"

Just her gentle tone was enough to make Roland feel like his life was brighter than it actually was. But it couldn't change how he saw things differently from that entire family. Maybe Maggie now understood since Glenn told Roland about her nearly being bitten when they went to grab Lori's items for the baby.

So, ignoring her voice, Roland continued cutting at the dead animal. Listening to how the flesh seemed to make a certain squishing noise. It wasn't pleasant by any means, but it helped with Roland not feeling like an angel was beside him.

"What's wrong?" Beth persisted and Roland clenched his jaw, stabbing the end of his knife into the log. Causing Beth to flinch from the sudden action as he turned to her. "Shouldn't you be hanging out with Jimmy?" He fired back and Beth stumbled over her words. "We actually broke up. We'd been fighting for the past couple of nights." She confessed to the boy whose tough exterior broke for a moment.

In a way, Roland was happy to hear it, but he also knew that if he was guessing right, Beth liked him. Sure, it was nice, but he wasn't sure if it would be right for him to even try and reciprocate feelings. Especially when the chances of them leaving were so high. He couldn't risk getting more attached than he already was. Because if he did, it would only make it harder for him to leave. That was something he didn't need to battle with or have on his conscience.

Roland bit his bottom lip as he clasped his hands together in front of him. His elbows resting on his knees as he looked at the mutilated squirrel. "Do you know what's in the barn?" He questioned and Beth choked on the air for a moment before speaking. "How do you know about that?" She asked and the boy nodded. "So, you do know. Does your dad know what they are capable of?" He questioned further and the girl didn't answer as she pursed her lips.

Standing up from his chair, Roland turned to the girl. "Your dad doesn't know what he's doing, Beth. He's delusional." He stated and the girl shook her head as she shot up from her spot. "He's not delusional." She defended as he faced her with an aggravated expression. "Yes-!" Roland yelled, stopping himself when he glanced over at Dale who was watching. Looking back at Beth, Roland spoke in a hushed tone, "Yes, he is, Beth. Those things- Those walkers, they have killed people I cared about. I have lost too many people because of them."

It was the bitter truth, but Roland remembered when the whole outbreak started. Standing with his brother on that highway with his best friend beside him. How the whole fight broke out between people and she got caught in the middle. That image of her choking on her own blood never left his mind. Probably wouldn't ever leave his mind, and it may not have been the walkers who did it, but it sure as hell was because of the outbreak and fear amongst people.

"And I will not watch my brother, my mom, my dad, or you suffer that fate. So, if you defend your father on those walkers being people. I'm sorry, but I can't talk to you anymore." He told her before turning around and walking past Dale and to his tent. Leaving a breathless Beth who fought back the tears in her eyes as she made her way back to the house.

Roland held his head in his hands. Sighing heavily as he ran them down his face before resting over his mouth. Glancing at the entrance of the tent seeing it Dale entering. "May I have a seat?" He asked and Roland motioned with his hand to Glenn's cot. "Please, make yourself comfortable." He tried to joke, but it didn't have the brightness to it like it used to.

Dale dusted off his legs before taking a seat with a groan. Looking directly at Roland as he tried to get a read on the boy. "Are you okay?" He asked and Roland sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. "You want the honest answer?" Dale nodded. "No. I ain't." Roland confessed with a shake of his head. "With the barn, Hershel, Beth, and my damn mom, man. I just have way too much on my mind as it is." He explained as he looked down at his Nike sneakers that were either covered in mud or dried blood. He wasn't even sure which it was anymore.

"So, you're having girl troubles?" Dale teased and Roland couldn't help the smile from appearing. "Oh, don't start with that. I heard it enough when I started in high school by my dad." Roland chuckled and Dale smiled, happy to the boy's mood slightly brighten. "Well, do you or do you not?" Dale asked, his tone turning serious.

Was he having girl troubles? Would Roland consider him on the other side of a spectrum with Beth being 'girl troubles?' He didn't know if he was, but he was sure about him liking Beth. It was just all so complicated and annoying to figure out with everything else happening.

"Yeah, man. Just... This whole thing with the barn has put me and Beth on opposite sides." He began. "She believes Hershel isn't delusional when I do. We both have different opinions on the matter, even when I'm right about it. Not to mention, she broke up with Jimmy not even 3 days after I beat the shit out of him." Roland ranted as he rubbed his eyes with the palm of his hands. Dale hummed as he nodded. "Have you considered listening to her side of the entire thing?" The question had Roland look up in curiosity about what Dale meant.

"Have you tried to see their point of you? See why they think those walkers are actually people?" Dale asked and Roland shook his head. "No, I haven't really ever thought about it." He confessed and Dale sighed. "Try it. Maybe it'll help with where you two are. Even if you guys aren't together, you guys are meant to be. I can see it already. You just have to allow yourself to love, Roland. To trust in the process of love and caring for someone." Dale explained as Roland listened intently. "I don't know what happened when you came back with Shane that night, but I can see you changed. Like something flicked and you've started taking Shane's side more and more. Preventing you from allowing yourself to show care to anyone but the people closest to you."

Dale's words had made Roland tense at the mention. Flashes of Otis passing through his mind quickly, making him shake his head. That night didn't make Roland start deciding on taking Shane's side because if he wanted to, Shane could put him out there. No, Roland just had the same thinking as Shane. He didn't believe they should be chasing a ghost of a girl that was probably dead. He didn't believe they should keep the walkers in the barn alive.

"She's showing you she cares. I don't think a girl would walk all the way over to a boy skinning squirrels unless she cared." Dale joked and Roland didn't smile or laugh. His mind was just going through the flashes with Otis until he felt a hand be placed on his shoulder. Looking up at Dale to see a smile on the man's face. "Allow yourself to love. That was what my wife told me and that's what I'm telling you now. Just think it over." He told the boy before standing up and exiting the tent.

Leaving Roland to wrap his mind around the older man's words.

Roland had spent most of the day on top of the R.V. taking watch. Sitting on the lawn chair with the sniper rifle in his lap as he ate a peach. Licking his lips to savour the euphoric taste of the fruit while he could.

Dale's words had bounced around in Roland's head since he left with Shane. Trying to fully see what Beth and Hershel saw in the walkers. Trying to understand how walkers could still be people and not be rotting corpses walking. The walking dead. It was tough for him to try and put them in their shoes, but he only came to the conclusion of the Greene's not having left this farm since everything started. And if they did, they clearly hadn't had any dangerous run in's with walkers. But despite that, he wanted to understand, to see what they saw so it could give him some form of perspective on their lives.

That would have to be put on pause when Shane came into his line of sights with the bag full of guns over his shoulder. Frowning, Roland got up from his seat and got down the ladder quickly before following after Shane. Watching him hand a shotgun to Daryl, only heightening his worry for what Shane was doing or going to do.

"Shane, what's going on?" Roland called out, jogging over to where some of the group were located. "Time to grow up," Shane replied before looking at Andrea as he walked by. "You already got yours?" Andrea nodded but still frowned. "Yeah. Where's Dale?" She questioned as Roland followed behind Shane beside T-Dog.

"He's on his way," Shane replied briefly, handing Roland a shotgun that he immediately cocked back. "Thought we couldn't carry," T-Dog spoke out as Shane handed him a gun. "We can and we have to." Shane brushed off before turning to the people in front of the house. "Look, it was one thing sitting around here picking daisies when we thought this place was supposed to be safe. But now we know it ain't." Shane explained to them.

Stepping towards Glenn, Shane held a shotgun out. "How about you, man? You gonna protect yours?" Glenn pursed his lips before taking the gun. "That's it." Shane encouraged before looking at Maggie. "Can you shoot?" He asked as the woman glared at him. "Can you stop? You do this, you hand out these guns, my dad will make you leave tonight." Maggie told him, but Shane turned his back and didn't listen.

"We have to stay, Shane," Carl spoke up and Roland placed the gun on his shoulder as he pointed to the house. "Get inside, Carl." He ordered. "What is this?" Lori appeared suddenly, unknown of Shane's intentions. "We ain't going anywhere, okay?" Shane told Carl who didn't respond. "Now look, Hershel, he's just gotta understand. Okay? He- Well, he's gonna have to." Shane announced before pulling out a pistol.

"Now we need to find Sophia am I right?" Shane asked as he walked over to Carl. Kneeling down in front of the boy. "Now I want you to take this. You take it, Carl, and you keep your mother safe. You do whatever it takes. You know-how. Go on, take the gun and do it." Shane urged the boy, but Carl wasn't able to grab it before Roland stepped forward, pulling his little brother back.

At this point, he stood with Shane, but including Carl was a no-go. "Rick said no guns. This is not your call. This not your decision to make." Lori growled as she stood between Carl and Shane.

"Oh shit."

T-Dog's comment got the group's attention as they turned to see what he was staring at. Roland saw in the treeline near the barn Hershel, Jimmy, and Rick come out with walkers on sticks. It didn't take a second for Shane and the others to start sprinting in that direction. Before following, Roland looked to Beth and pointed to the house. "Stay inside." He ordered before running after the group.

"What the hell are you doing?" Shane yelled as he pushed open the fence dividing the barn and the house. "Shane, just back off," Rick told him. "Why do your people have guns?" Hershel questioned as everyone walked the walkers snarl at them from the sticks.

"Are you kidding me? You see?" Shane questioned the group watching in horror. "You see what they're holding onto?" Hershel sent the man a glare from the comment. "I see who I'm holding on to." He fired back. "No, man, you don't." Shane denied loudly.

Roland felt his heart thumping in his chest as he glanced behind him seeing Carl and his mom not standing that far away. Beth and Patricia there as well, annoying Roland more than he already was. "Shane, just let us do this and then we'll talk."

"What you want to talk about, Rick? These things ain't sick. They're not people. They're dead. Ain't gonna feel nothing for them 'cause all they do, they kill!" Shane yelled as he moved around the walkers. "These things right here, they're the things that killed Amy. They killed Otis. They're gonna kill all of us."

A clench of Roland's muscles rolled throughout his entire body as he stared at surrogate uncle. The way Shane was able to mention Otis without any form of guilt bothered Roland. He didn't know if he was just being weak, but he couldn't help but find himself in a tough spot between guilt and loneliness. Being alone in the sense of feeling like he was the only person dealing with this type of pain that no one had ever felt.

"Shane, shut up!" Rick yelled over his friend's rant.

"Hey, Hershel, man, let me ask you something. Could a living breathing person, could they walk away from this?" Shane questioned, pulling out his pistol and firing three shots into the walker's chest. "Stop it!" Rick yelled, but Shane continued. "That's three rounds in the chest. Could someone who's alive, could they just take that?! Why is it still coming?" Two more gunshots rang out. "That's its heart, it's lungs. Why is it still coming?" Three more rounds rang out.

"Shane, enough." Rick snapped and Shane nodded. "Yeah, you're right, man. That is enough." He said before shooting the walker in the head. The stick falling from Hershel's grasp as he kneeled on the ground. "Enough risking our lives for a little girl who's gone!" Shane yelled. "Enough living next to a barn full of things trying to kill us. Enough!"

Roland felt a hand grasp his wrist, catching his attention and seeing it was a crying Beth. Not wasting a second to wrap an arm around her protectively as Shane continued. "Rick, it ain't like it was before!" He told the man who continued holding onto the walker.

"Now, if y'all want to live, if you want to survive, you got to fight for it! I'm talking about fighting right here, right now." Shane yelled before taking off towards the chained-up barn door.

"Take the snare pole. Hershel, take the snare pole. Hershel, listen to me, man, please. Take it now. Hershel! Take it!" Rick pleaded, but it was too late. His pleads for Hershel to take the pole and Shane to stop was not enough. The barn door was now open and the walkers began flooding out.

Roland left Beth's side and ran to Shane's side and readied his shotgun. Looking back at Beth who was crying, but nodded in permission. Only then did he turn back and start firing. Killing each walker that came tumbling out as the others helped as well.

When his shoulder was grabbed roughly, he looked to see it was his dad. Backing away, Roland watched as the others did the rest. Standing by his brother and mom as soon the walkers were fully cleared out.

A silence falling over the group as Dale arrived too late, only getting to see the massacre. Beth ran to Roland and hugged him and he instantly hugged back. Placing her face in the crook of his neck as a single growl could be heard within the barn.

It was when Roland saw that familiar blue rainbow shirt he gasped. Feeling his arm hold Beth tighter as Sophia could be seen stepping out of the barn. Carol began running towards the girl who wasn't what she used to be but was stopped by Daryl who held her. Roland felt like everything stopped as Carol's cries became distant as he stared at the little girl. Hearing his little brother's cries and Beth cries mend together made him bite his bottom lip.

Watching his dad step forward towards the little girl. Stopping a few feet away from her and unholster his revolver and aim. Staring at the girl before firing. It was only then when Roland could hear the cries from Beth in his arms. Dropping his gun to the ground and hugging her tightly as she sobbed into his shirt.

From that single moment, Roland knew that his dad had changed. Leaving his past self behind when the world ended.