The One with the Hardest Decision

[ Request by Medusa206 ]

I want her to be safe and happy. The safest place I know is Hogwarts, James' voice echoed through Albus' mind as he watched you. Albus had treated you as one of his own with the professors as fairy godmothers and fathers. You were only five and you had captured every heart in the Professors dormitory.  
     You sat near the fire with a book in front of your nose. ''Typical Vesper,'' Albus' whispers to Minerva, who is watching you. A smile plays on her small lips, ''yes. She will be the brightest witch of her time as soon as she is in Hogwarts as a student.''
     ''W-wing... W-wingardium... W-wingardium L-levi... L-leviosa,'' you try – causing every Professor to look around. ''Wingardium Leviosa,'' you say and the book in front of you levitates. Your gaze is fixed on the book and everyone gasped in delight. ''Well done, Y/N,'' Filius cheers happily, ''well done.'' Minerva and Albus are eyeing each other – showing their pride. The two had most charge over you and raised you like a lady.

You were an extraordinary witch; they could already tell. You didn't need a wand to cast charms or spells. You had proven that you didn't need a wand to cast one of the most difficult spells. You had read a lot about them and wanted to try them.
     ''Expecto Patronum!'' you say, and a silvery vapour arises from your hand, but it hasn't an animal form. Every Professor was watching you with widen eyes. Minerva was watching Albus with widening eyes, ''how.'' She had whispered. ''She is an extraordinary witch, just like Vesper,'' Albus whispers calmly.
     ''Expecto Patronum!'' you say and again, a silvery vapour arises from the palm of your hand. Every Professor in the room sees a small owl and immediately thinks of Vesper Hamilton. ''She has the Patronus of her mother's animagus,'' Hagrid cries. Filius and Pomona needed to pink away a tear. Vesper was still in their minds and her death was tragic, but they were gifted with her daughter. Even Severus had a hard time when his thoughts wandered to Vesper Hamilton. She was the sunshine of Gryffindor and she was always kind to him. She didn't treat anybody different.
     ''We are lucky to have Y/N Hamilton,'' Severus whispers, ''now, Vesper has passed. Her thinking and brains are passed onto Y/N.'' ''Beautiful words, Severus,'' Minerva says – laying her hand on his shoulder. Severus glances over his shoulder and sends her a small smile. ''She has her eyes,'' Albus comments.

On your eleventh birthday, you had received your Hogwarts letter. It was time for you to become one of the students. You didn't need to go with the Hogwarts Express, because Hogwarts was your home.
     ''Y/N, come,'' Minerva says – extending her hand. You accept her hand and both walk to the entrance of the castle. ''Mother?'' you ask. Minerva cracks a smile on her face as she hears you saying mother to her, ''yes, sunshine?'' ''What happened to my parents?'' Minerva's expression drops and squads down to your eye level – laying her hand on your shoulder.
     ''Y/N, I don't know how to say this. You are an extraordinary witch, but you are too young to know. When you are older, Albus or I will tell you everything. I promise,'' she says in a sweet tone. You were a little disappointed, but you understood the reason. You nod and give her a small smile.

''Firs' years, Professor McGonagall. You all alrigh', Y/N?'' Hagrid beams and you smile and nod. You hung out with Hagrid in his cabin – learning about magical creatures. You had taken a preference of Nifflers.
     Professor McGonagall held her speech over the different houses and led you to the Great Hall, which you had seen plenty times before. Its beauty amazes you every time. The first years were standing in a row while Professor McGonagall read the names.
     ''Hamilton, Y/N,'' she calls, and you walk forwards. She places the Hat on your head, and it doesn't need time to think. ''GRYFFINDOR!'' All Professors clap and aren't surprised that you are a Gryffindor. After dinner, Hagrid had asked you to come over. He had a present for you.
     ''This little brown owl is yours,'' he says – showing the little brown owl. ''I'm calling her Vesper,'' you smile, ''she is beautiful.'' And that's how your first years as a Gryffindor began. You were the favourite student of all Professors and you were pretty close to them too.

In your fifth school year, Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall have made you a prefect, which meant you have to look after the first years. One specific boy caught your attention, the one with Potter as surname. Especially after Professor Dumbledore had told you to protect him. He hadn't told you why, only that you needed to protect him.
     ''Gryffindor first years!'' you call, and all first years follow you. Harry and his friends had followed you and he must admit, you were stunning. He had heard rumours about you living in the castle, that you had grown up here.
     ''I'll be your prefect for this year, so if you have questions or want to talk. I'm here. I'm Y/N Hamilton,'' you say and after that, they are allowed to go. Harry made his way to you and his friends followed.
     ''H-hello,'' he stutters – not exactly knowing what to say. You send him a warm smile. ''Hello, Harry,'' you say and turn to his friends, ''who are your friends?'' They introduced themselves and Harry found the guts to ask.

''Is it true? That you've grown up in the castle?'' You smile by the question, the news spread like a fire. ''Yes, I've been raised here in the castle.'' ''Wicked,'' Ron Weasley beams. ''You must have heard from your brothers, Fred, and George?'' you smirk. ''That's right,'' both say – showing up out of nowhere.
     ''She is also able to do magic without her hands,'' Fred comments and quickly runs away. You close your eyes and sigh. ''You can do that?'' Harry asks astonished. You nod but didn't feel anything to show.
     ''I will show you later, but for now; behave.''

Your fifth year was pretty rough, now you had to keep an eye on Harry. It was true, the Dark Lord has returned. Hermione was amazed by your knowledge and it looked like you were her hero.
     ''Hermione, I'm not a hero. I'm just an average student.'' ''No, you're not average. You are still my hero,'' she had said, and you took her in an embrace. You grew close to Harry and his friends.
     They were attending their second year, while you were starting your sixth. You would soon turn sixteen and that was for Dumbledore the moment to call you and Harry in his office.

''Yes, Professor?'' you and Harry said in unison. Dumbledore smiles and gestures to the chairs, ''please. Take a seat.''
     ''The reason I called you here because you two are closer than you may have thought,'' he starts, causing you to eye each other. ''Harry, Y/N. You are half-siblings.'' That needed time to sink in. ''But doesn't she need the same surname?'' Harry asks. Dumbledore smiles and walks to a closet to reveal the Pensieve.
     He draws a silver line out of his temple with his wand and throws it in. ''This is called a Pensieve, a place to review memories. So, please.'' He gestures to the Pensieve and both stand around it. You hung your face above the Pensieve until it sucked you into it.

You were standing in Dumbledore's office. ''Come in, James,'' Dumbledore says without James knocking. Both look at the door, only to reveal a student with a child. ''That's my father,'' Harry comments. ''Professor,'' he mutters. Dumbledore sees Y/N in James' arms and smiles, ''what can I do for you?'' ''I-I can't raise her on my own, not without Vesper,'' he says – sniffing. ''And that is my mother,'' you mutter – starting to tear up.
     ''I want her to be safe and happy. The safest place I know is Hogwarts,'' he says – tears rolling down. He wasn't ready to leave you here. ''W-will you l-look after her?'' That's when he broke down in tears and clutched you against his chest. You stood next to him, to see his expression. It broke you, seeing your father like this.
     Dumbledore slowly walks to James and lays a hand on his shoulder, ''if it's what you want, I'm prepared to look after her.'' James raises his gaze and looks at the headmaster with red puffy eyes. ''I want her happy and safe, she will love it here. I'm willing to do to everything to make her happy, even if it means stepping out of her life,'' he sniffs.

You and Harry were silent, and Harry held your hand. You had shot him a smile and squeezed his hand. The scene changes into something you remembered. ''This is the Professor's dormitory,'' you whisper.
     You see yourself sitting near the fire with books in front of you. ''You could already do magic,'' Harry comments astonished. ''Wait for it,'' you whisper. ''Expecto Patronum!'' you say and again, a silvery vapour arises from the palm of your hand. Every Professor in the room sees a small owl and immediately thinks of Vesper Hamilton. ''She has the Patronus of her mother's animagus,'' Hagrid cries. ''I could cast a Patronus at the age of seven, without a wand.''

Both returned to Dumbledore's office. ''How's father?'' you ask. Dumbledore painfully closes his eyes while Harry's eyes widen. ''Y/N, James is dead.'' ''He is killed by Lord Voldemort,'' Harry adds. That was the last drop.
     You sunk to your knees and burst into tears. Harry put his arm around you – attempting to calm you. ''He did give you this.'' Dumbledore hands over a letter with your name on it.

My dear dear dearest Y/N V. Hamilton,

I first want to apologize. If you are reading this, Professor Dumbledore knew whenever it was time for you to read it. I want to apologize for leaving you. It was the hardest decision I have ever made in my life. I don't regret it; Dumbledore had sent me letters about you. It was my conclusion that you were happy and that was all that mattered to me. If you are happy, I'm happy.

I wish I could have been there for you, but I was only seventeen. I'm not using it as an excuse, but I couldn't raise you. Not on my own, not without your mother by my side. I only wanted what was best for you. Professor Dumbledore had accepted to raise you, along with the other Professors and I'm so grateful for it.

I miss you, even though I will never see you again. But I will never. Never. Never. Forget you. I will never forget your eyes. You have your mother's eyes and they are the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen.

I love you, my dear sunshine.

James Fleamont Potter
Godric's Hollow, 1973

You look up from the letter, turning to Harry. ''I'll fight with you to the end of the line.''

Extended Scene;

''Vesper, we did it. You did it,'' James cries happily, but it soon disappears when he notices Vesper's eyes are closed. ''Vesper? Sunshine? Please wake up,'' James desperately nudges her arm. ''Please wake up, h-how am I going to raise her w-without you. I-I can't do that. I-I, w-we need you.'' James bursts into tears as he realises, Vesper isn't going to wake up.
     ''I love you,'' a small weak voice reaches James' ears and his eyes fixes on her. ''I-I love y-you t-too, S-sunshine.'' James lays his head on her chest and doesn't hear her heartbeat. She is gone. How am I going to raise her on my own? I can't do that.

Vesper's death was a shock to everyone. Especially when she was loved by everyone and only seventeen.
     James held your tiny body in his arms. ''Y/N Hamilton,'' he whispers. I can't raise you on my own, not without Vesper by my side. I'm bloody scared that I won't able to protect you. Tears are rolling down his cheeks. He strokes your cheek with his index finger.
     ''I love you,'' he whispers and presses a kiss on your forehead, ''we will find something.'' You had opened your eyes, only to reveal Vesper's eyes. New tears found their way down, ''you are a beautiful girl.''

They attended Vesper's funeral and James needed a lot to think. He obviously couldn't raise you alone and he was afraid that he might take the wrong decision. ''I want you to be safe. I love you so much,'' James whispers to you and tears are already forming in his eyes.
     ''I will never stop loving you. I would do anything for you.'' That's when he was sure of his decision. He gently takes you in his arms and walks to Dumbledore's office.

''Come in, James,'' Dumbledore says without James knocking. ''Professor,'' he mutters. Dumbledore sees Y/N in James' arms and smiles, ''what can I do for you?'' ''I-I can't raise her on my own, not without Vesper,'' he says – sniffing.
     ''I want her to be safe and happy. The safest place I know is Hogwarts,'' he says – tears rolling down. He wasn't ready to leave you here. ''W-will you l-look after her?'' That's when he broke down in tears and clutched you against his chest.
     Dumbledore slowly walks to James and lays a hand on his shoulder, ''if it's what you want, I'm prepared to look after her.'' James raises his gaze and look at the headmaster with red puffy eyes. ''I want her happy and safe, she will love it here. I'm willing do to everything to make her happy, even if it means stepping out of her life,'' he sniffs.

''I know how much you love her and how much you love Vesper,'' he comments, ''I will tell her everything whenever she is ready.'' James nods, ''thank you so much, headmaster.''
     ''I love you, sunshine. Y/N Vesper Hamilton.'' James slowly hands you over to Dumbledore. ''I'll send owls,'' Dumbledore assures, which makes James feel a little better. ''Thank you,'' he whispers. He walks to the door and glances over his shoulder one more time. Another tear fell as he walked out of your life.