/// april 19th

the group had returned from their long, tiring day of last-minute recordings for their upcoming album — yet the girl couldn't sit still.

it was nearing eight-o'clock, the darkness of the night was barely showing through the pretty april day they'd had.

"Na, what's wrong? you haven't touched your food," HeeSeung asked, brushing the girl's hair back from where it'd fallen, blocking her sight.

"i.." she began, voice just a decibel louder than silence. the older leaned in to try and hear what she was saying, but the words had gotten caught in her throat. "you what, baby?"

she swallowed the lump that'd formed in the back of her throat. "i feel like something happened.. something, bad," she said, showing obvious signs of panic.

"with who?"

she closed her eyes, a sudden rush of pain stabbing her heart. "i don't know who but- but, one of my hyungs," her face was turned into one of confusion, "i.."

HeeSeung was quick to wrap his arms around her shoulders, giving her a sense of comfort. "it's okay, Mi. breathe,"

she went through her routine breathing exercises, trying to calm the whirlpool of invasive thoughts in her mind — trying to convince herself everything was fine and her intuition had only failed her.

an hour later she found herself asking SeJin to drive her to Mystic Story. she'd hung out with the seven Billlie girls only two days prior, yet she felt a longing feeling in her soul to go to them.

she arrived to their dormitories, knocking on the door of the first — where Haruna, Siyoon, Tsuki and Sheon live. the Fukutomi girl was the one to answer, her tired eyes lighting up in surprise as she saw the Kim girl. "Suki! hi!" Tsuki said, going in for a hug.

"hi, Tsu.. i had a feeling i needed to come to you guys," NaRi said, Tsuki leaning her head to the side, a sign for NaRi to continue.

NaRi lowered her voice to a quiet whisper, "my heart.. i know i have to be here. i don't know for what, but i got a feeling i need to be here."

Tsuki nodded with an understanding look on her face, opening the door wider for the girl to come in. "Sua, Hyeon and Haram will be here in a second, we're all gonna sleep in Runa's room tonight," Fukumoti informed, NaRi nodding, placing her bag and shoes in her designated spot.

it was a few hours later when NaRi's heart hurt again, yet this time her intuition had told her exactly who to go to. she brought her phone out in a panic, texting SanHa "hyung, please tell me you two are okay,"

NaRi walked back into the maknae's room, immediately moving her place from between Sheon and Haram to beside Sua. NaRi wrapped her arms around Sua, closing her eyes, distracted by her inner thoughts rather than focusing on the movie they had playing on the tv.

Sua's phone buzzed a few minutes later — and again, and again, and again... and again.

it was her parents.

perhaps this was all just a figment of NaRi's imagination — one which came from a very, very dark place. one which made her worst nightmares come to life. one which was the cause for her precious Sua unnie's heartbreaking tears — the tears she'd begged her guardian angels to never allow her to hear ever again.

NaRi knew the term 'death' a lot more than those around her — despite her wishes to not. she always wishes she'd be the first to perish among her friends, so she never had to feel the pain of losing yet another one of the most important people in her life.

but life simply seemed to be completely against the Arredondo girl.

NaRi wrapped her arms tightly around the Moon girl, eyes closed as she could feel the older's heart breaking one piece by the next. the sobs violently ripping through her body caused yet more stabbing pains to go through the girl's heart, she wished she could take all the pain Sua was feeling away, and give her a life of happiness.

she wished this was all a dream.

she'd completely missed the clock striking midnight – making it her birthday.

NaRi never left Sua's side. she couldn't. NaRi was the one to contact Mystic Story to inform them of what had happened, just to make sure they'd heard from someone credible and not some news source trending #1 on SNS.

the boys had packed NaRi's bag to stay at the girls' dorms, even after Sua had left back to her hometown to stay with her parents. the members' hearts were heavy, devastated for their leader, for their eldest sister. NaRi consoled the team, cooking meals for them so they had no reason to be in public. she was their shoulder to cry on.

their manager called NaRi, the girl picking up while wiping the stream of tears stinging her eyes. she was currently in the second dorm, hiding from the other girls, finally allowing herself to grieve.

"Mireia?" the male spoke, NaRi humming a "yes, hyung?" in response. "do you want us to release a statement for you?"

he was hinting towards releasing a statement for NaRi's absence from group activities for a while, to give her official time to mourn.

she looked down, anxiously playing with the blanket covering her lap. "uh.. no. i'll be fine. thank you, hyung. i'll see you soon."

today was her last available day to stay with the girls overnight, as ENHYPEN had other schedules to attend. she knew she couldn't leave the country without paying a necessary visit to his memorial — so that's what she did.

a few hours passed before she was back with her own group, crying in Lee's arms in their shared bedroom. the boy's arms caressed her back, allowing her to get out what she needed to. he continuously placed kisses on the girl's head – anything to let her remember she wasn't alone.

"do you want to go write something for him, Mi?" he gently asked, NaRi's shaky breath hitting his exposed neck before he felt a gentle nod. "okay, we can go."

the girl wore the biggest black clothing items she could find in her part of the shared racks, some of which ended up being the boys' — but they never cared. she held HeeSeung's hand as they made their way towards Fantagio — towards the memorial they'd created for her hyung.

her heart was frantically beating, that being the only sound present in her ears. HeeSeung gave her soft touches to keep her on earth, standing a little back when they'd finally arrived.

NaRi's eyes sparkled as she looked around — the notes, the pictures, the flowers, the tunnel of drinks he loved so dearly – a little white butterfly flapping it's way around the place. she watched it for a while, the little critter eventually landing on her index finger. she felt a small heat of comfort to her heart in that moment — "hyung, you came, right?" she whispered, the butterfly flapping it's wings twice before flying to the other side of notes. a tear escaped her eye, the trail it left behind burning her skin.

she softly breathed in, shakiness from earlier still present. she stepped around carefully, nearing the boards of notes left by his AROHA, more tears coming as she read the loving words everyone had left for him. she couldn't help but to wonder if he'd felt this amount of love during his short time on earth.

she took a deep breath after a few minutes of admiring her hyung's smiling eyes, taking the notebook she'd brought from out of her pocket. it was a green one — an earthy tone with a leather-like material covering the outside. it was her most recent gift from the Moon boy, one he'd gifted her with a small note on top, reading 'write some pretty songs for me angel'

she squatted, now beside HeeSeung yet again. he caressed her hair as the girl thought of what to write. she knew he'd see it, the note being up for the public to view not even flashing in her mind for a second.

as was soon revealed to SNS through multiple fans, NaRi's letter read:

Binnie hyung! it's me, your angel :)

i came to visit you today as an 18-year old Mireia! ah, how i wished to get your birthday message right as the clock hit midnight.. i guess the universe had a different plan than i wanted, right?

how is it up there? i pray Binnie hyung is smiling like i always loved, feeling only happiness and experiencing no more pain or sadness. you've always been my most loving hyung.. my studio is filled with your gifts to me. i always cherished them, but now they hold the most special place in my heart.

growing into the (almost) adult i am now with you by my side has been wonderful! i just wonder how i'm supposed to grow without you by my side now.. you taught me so many valuable lessons and always protected me when i'd visit you.. please protect me even more now!

i've cried away from everyone, as you always saw me as someone strong. you're probably nagging at my tears, right? let me be sad a while longer, i'm not used to the pain yet.

say hello to my dad for me! i'm sure he'll take you under his wing as you've loved his only daughter during your time on earth.

i'll love Sua unnie and auntie and uncle Moon like i always have. don't worry about them anymore, just keep us under your wings.

i always told you about wanting my kids to call you uncle Bin.. ah, now they'll just see you and celebrate your life through photos. you'll be there for them too, right?

thank you for living a beautiful life as a musician. i'll make sure the world will never forget my hyung who's the best dancer and who has the prettiest smile. have fun in the moon land, hyungie. come see me in my dreams often, okay? i'll write those songs you asked me for, and dedicate them to AROHA who love you so deeply. i pray you can rest in happiness. i love you

- your angel

🦇 ... 끝!